by Melanie Oda (Japan) | Dec 17, 2012 | Childhood, Cultural Differences, Education, Eye on Culture, Family, Holiday, International, Japan, Living Abroad, Religion, Traditions, World Events, Younger Children
Christians are a minority in Japan, comprising only 1% of the population. Well, actually I’d say anyone who is “serious” about their religion is a minority here.
The Japanese, in general, have a very laid back approach to it, adding and subtracting as they see fit, often participating in a mish-mash of rites from various beliefs that can be quite surprising to the outsider.
It is often said that Japanese are born Shinto, marry as Christians, and die as Buddhists. This is referring to the popularity of the “100 Day Ceremony” held at the Shinto shrine when a baby has attained that landmark, the Christian-esque chapel weddings that are popular with young couples, and the Buddhist funerals most families choose to have.
I guess you could say they like to cover their bases in Japan.
As a result, Japan often seems to have trouble understanding why the rest of the world gets so worked up about Christmas. I wouldn’t consider myself devout, by any means, but I have found myself in an uncomfortable position many times when it is expected that I should just be okay with praying at a Shinto shrine or throwing money into the collection box at a temple. Usually, I just stand respectfully by and draw as little attention to my non-praying heathen outsiderness as possible.
The kids, though, are often forced to participate. (more…)
If you ask Melanie Oda where she is from, she will answer "Georgia." (Unless you ask her in Japanese. Then she will say "America.") It sounds nice, and it's a one-word answer, which is what most people expect. The truth is more complex. She moved around several small towns in the south growing up. Such is life when your father is a Southern Baptist preacher of the hellfire and brimstone variety.
She came to Japan in 2000 as an assistant language teacher, and has never managed to leave. She currently resides in Yokohama, on the outskirts of Tokyo (but please don't tell anyone she described it that way! Citizens of Yokohama have a lot of pride). No one is more surprised to find her here, married to a Japanese man and with two bilingual children (aged four and seven), than herself. And possibly her mother.
You can read more about her misadventures in Asia on her blog, HamakkoMommy.
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by hjunderway | Nov 19, 2012 | Communication, Culture, Education, Eye on Culture, France, International, Life Lesson, Living Abroad
My husband and I are planners by nature; we’ve come to accept that about ourselves and embrace the order that comes from the “best laid plans.” Naming our son was no exception. We carefully planned our first pregnancy, although nature made us wait six months before a faint pink plus sign appeared. With a positive pregnancy test came books like “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” and the infamous “10,000 Baby Names.” Planning for our baby’s name became a fun and exciting way to decompress after a long week.
As my husband flipped through the baby name book, we playfully tossed out names that we loved and hated. I had always envisioned naming a son Jackson, because a.) My name is Jacki and what fun it would be to have a “Jack-son” b.) it was a strong name when pared with our last. However, when a work acquaintance named her future first born son Jaxson, we ditched it and started from scratch. Lucas and Oliver were thrown around as possibilities, as well as a few laughs over others like Jaeger.
Then one day while watching television on yet another Friday night and flipping through the baby name book, my husband turned to me and uttered the perfect name for our baby boy. “What about Halen?” It sounded perfect, our little baby boy Halen.
When Halen was born, our families and friends had a hard time pronouncing it at first, so we found ourselves saying, “Halen, like from Van Halen.” Over time Halen’s name grew on them, my own mother saying one day, “I just can’t imagine Halen by any other name.” For every positive comment, we’d also get a few negative ones too, mostly from strangers. “It sounds like a girl’s name,” or “Did you say Helen?”
And then we found out we were moving to France, where things changed for our Halen completely. (more…)
Jacki, or “MommaExpat,” as she’s known in the Internet community, is a former family therapist turned stay-at-home mom in Paris, France. Jacki is passionate about issues as they relate to mothers and children on both domestic and international scenes, and is a Volunteer Ambassador for the Fistula Foundation. In addition to training for her first half marathon, Jacki can be found learning French in Paris and researching her next big trip. Jacki blogs at H J Underway, a chronicle of her daily life as a non-French speaking mom in France.
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by Ms. V. (South Korea) | Oct 29, 2012 | Birthing, Education, Eye on Culture, Living Abroad, Maternal Health, Motherhood, South Korea, Technology, Women's Rights, World Motherhood
I was 32-weeks pregnant with my son when we moved to Seoul from Seattle. When my spouse first got this assignment my knowledge of Korea was admittedly narrow, but because of all the research I had been doing on pregnancy and childbirth, the one bit of information that I did know was that Korea had an even higher rate of C-Section than the United States. The rate of c-section in the US is a staggering 30%, while here in South Korea it is an even more staggering 37.7%.
One of the things that is surprising about this number is that, in a study conducted in 2000, when polled, the majority of pregnant South Korean women said they prefer vaginal delivery. The study was done when the c-section rate was nearing 40% and researchers wanted to know if this rise had to do with women’s desires and attitudes towards childbirth. The study concluded that the rapid rise in C-section rates was related to health care practitioners and the health care system, not women’s attitudes or desires.
So, what’s happening? In a country that has skyrocketed to first world status in 50 short years, why aren’t women getting the medical care they desire?
Confucian ideals and principles lie at the heart of this rapidly modernizing society. They are the subtext to every interaction. The main principles of Confucianism can be very broadly summarized as:
- Follow the Golden Rule
- Be loyal to your family
- Respect your elders and superiors
- Worship your ancestors
- Know your role in society and fulfill it to the best of your ability
While I do not disagree in theory with all of these principles, their effects on this society have led to an inequity among men and women that, I believe, leads to difficult circumstances for women when it comes to birthing. Being loyal to family and respecting elders and superiors means being, if no longer submissive, at least deferential not only to the men in their lives but to anyone whose position in society is “higher” than theirs.
(more…)
Ms. V returned from a 3-year stint in Seoul, South Korea and is now living in the US in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her partner, their two kids, three ferocious felines, and a dog named Avon Barksdale. She grew up all over the US, mostly along the east coast, but lived in New York City longer than anywhere else, so considers NYC “home.” Her love of travel has taken her all over the world and to all but four of the 50 states.
Ms. V is contemplative and sacred activist, exploring the intersection of yoga, new monasticism, feminism and social change. She is the co-director and co-founder of Samdhana-Karana Yoga: A Healing Arts Center, a non-profit yoga studio and the spiritual director for Hab Community. While not marveling at her beautiful children, she enjoys reading, cooking, and has dreams of one day sleeping again.
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by Mannahattamamma (UAE) | Oct 12, 2012 | Domesticity, Economy, Family, Human Rights, International, Kids, Living Abroad, Motherhood, Older Children, UAE, World Motherhood, World Voice
A friend came to our apartment the other day and said “Wow, your place is always so clean!”
I looked at her. “Well, I pay someone,” I said. “Duh.”
Until we moved to Abu Dhabi, I’d never had someone clean my house. I didn’t grow up with “help,” although I imagine my mother sometimes felt like the underpaid scullery maid. I went to a friend’s house for a holiday weekend once, in college, and when we got there, her mother said that if I needed something ironed, I should just leave it out “for the girl”. I was confused: the only other woman in the house was a middle-aged African American woman. I wore a wrinkled shirt to the party.
All of which is to say, until I hit forty-seven recently, I was my own domestic help.
Don’t worry, I’m not going to re-hash The Help; instead I’m writing about how strange — and dangerously seductive — it is to live suddenly in a world where “help” – and lots of it – is readily available, even to people like me, who in the scheme of things don’t make that much money. (more…)
After twenty-plus years in Manhattan, Deborah Quinn and her family moved to Abu Dhabi (in the United Arab Emirates), where she spends a great deal of time driving her sons back and forth to soccer practice. She writes about travel, politics, feminism, education, and the absurdities of living in a place where temperatures regularly go above 110F.
Deborah can also be found on her blog, Mannahattamamma.
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by Melanie Oda (Japan) | Oct 5, 2012 | Childhood, Family, Japan, Kids, Life Lesson, Living Abroad, Motherhood, Parenting, Siblings, Sports, World Motherhood, Younger Children
Karate white belt. This is for beginners who have not yet achieved a rank.
Sometimes as a parent, you get so involved in the nitty-gritty everyday, that the big picture is lost in the pixels. Then a random moment sweeps over you, and you see things from the distance for the first time in a long time.
In those moments, you can see how far you’ve come, how you’ve gotten older and wiser, how your children have grown, and how all the nitty-gritty, messy, sticky everyday battles weren’t in vain. I had a moment like this recently. I wasn’t expecting it. It came out of the blue like a thunderstorm on a muggy summer afternoon.
My daughter has recently joined my son at his karate class. I bought a new dogi (karate uniform) for him. The old one was too small, and now Sister would need it.
Brother’s needed taking in. He tried it on and he seemed so big in the grown up, crisp, white uniform. (more…)
If you ask Melanie Oda where she is from, she will answer "Georgia." (Unless you ask her in Japanese. Then she will say "America.") It sounds nice, and it's a one-word answer, which is what most people expect. The truth is more complex. She moved around several small towns in the south growing up. Such is life when your father is a Southern Baptist preacher of the hellfire and brimstone variety.
She came to Japan in 2000 as an assistant language teacher, and has never managed to leave. She currently resides in Yokohama, on the outskirts of Tokyo (but please don't tell anyone she described it that way! Citizens of Yokohama have a lot of pride). No one is more surprised to find her here, married to a Japanese man and with two bilingual children (aged four and seven), than herself. And possibly her mother.
You can read more about her misadventures in Asia on her blog, HamakkoMommy.
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by Shaula Bellour (Indonesia) | Oct 4, 2012 | Being Thankful, Childhood, Culture, Eye on Culture, Family, Indonesia, Living Abroad, Motherhood, Moving, Relocating, Shaula Bellour, Traditions, Twins, World Motherhood, Younger Children
Our twins turn 5 years old today. It feels like a big milestone – one step closer to being full-fledged big kids, yet still with a foot in the little kid world.
I often find myself marveling at their suddenly long legs, new vocabulary and thoughtful commentary on the world around them. It’s bittersweet of course, but mostly it’s a delight to watch them grow more and more into themselves every day. It’s definitely something worth celebrating.
This year our kids were a lot more aware of the whole birthday thing and have been getting excited for their big day. We’ve already been to three whole-class birthday parties this month. Now it’s our turn…
Our last two birthday parties were low-key DIY affairs, held at our house in Dili, East Timor. With no party stores to speak of, I spent weeks sourcing supplies – procuring goody bag contents, decoration-making materials, cake ingredients, and creative birthday presents from every corner of the city.
I became a pro at finding hidden treasures in unexpected (and often dusty) places – from back corner display cases to tin-roofed roadside stalls. I stayed up late with my glue gun and got up early to bake. Armed with a great no-melt frosting recipe (essential in the tropics), I was ready to go. (more…)
Shaula Bellour grew up in Redmond, Washington. She now lives in Jakarta, Indonesia with her British husband and 9-year old boy/girl twins. She has degrees in International Relations and Gender and Development and works as a consultant for the UN and non-governmental organizations.
Shaula has lived and worked in the US, France, England, Kenya, Eritrea, Kosovo, Lebanon and Timor-Leste. She began writing for World Moms Network in 2010. She plans to eventually find her way back to the Pacific Northwest one day, but until then she’s enjoying living in the big wide world with her family.
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