by Elizabeth Atalay | Apr 1, 2014 | Awareness, Being Thankful, Cooking, Food, Health, Humanitarian, International, Life Lesson, Nutrition, Poverty, Social Good, Uncategorized, World Events, World Moms Blog, World Motherhood
www.livebelowtheline.com
One could barely think straight after five days she was so hungry. Another who is pregnant, was sapped of all energy after only one day. Me, I caused a stink at the grocery store checkout over 65 cents, …..yes, we were impacted. I don’t think any of us will think of extreme poverty in the same way ever again.
Live Below The Line is a campaign created to change the way that people think about extreme poverty. The World Bank defines extreme poverty as living on under $1.25 per day, something that 1.2 billion people in the world currently survive on. These are the poorest of poor, and to truly understand what it means to live that way, you need to experience it. Five World Moms took on the challenge, and in each of our own words here is what we found:
Hannah Ashton – USA
I’m six months pregnant, which is hard enough in itself, particularly when my day is spent running round after my toddler, Maggie, and I hadn’t been sleeping very well, for just one day, I thought I would give the challenge a go. I could, of course, always stop, unlike the many pregnant women around the world, who sadly don’t have that option.
The day started well enough with oatmeal made with water, 2/3rds of a banana and a mug of green tea. I used the tea bag to make 3 more mugs of tea which were like green water by the third and fourth cup. This filled me up until lunchtime which was a kidney bean and carrot burger, using the recipe from “a girl called jack blog”, 1 oz. rice and two flatbreads. Immediately after eating lunch I was still hungry. It was a small amount of food and there was no more food until dinner. I generally eat dinner with my husband when he gets home from work at 8pm. Instead I was too hungry so I ate at 5:30 with Maggie when she ate her dinner. My dinner was a kidney bean, carrot, onion and tomato stew with 2 oz rice. Even though I had soaked the kidney beans overnight, boiled them for 20 minutes and let them simmer in the stew for an hour, they were still very hard, but I ate it all anyway.
Later, as my husband cooked himself a delicious looking steak sandwich, a radish salad and drank a glass of red wine, I cooked up my two remaining flatbreads and made a fresh mug of green tea. “It’s like we’re living in two different worlds tonight,” he commented.
At 3 am I woke up with a splitting headache and was extremely hungry. I came downstairs, took two Tylenol and had a large piece of the blueberry pie that was left over from the weekend. The next day, it is fair to say I really struggled even though the challenge was over. The LBTL diet of the day before had really affected me. I rang my husband at work in tears asking him to please come home from work earlier to help with Maggie’s bedtime routine as I didn’t have the energy to do it by myself (I have a nightly battle with teeth brushing but usually take it in my stride). I had to cancel a play date with a friend and I went to bed at 8:30. It was only by Wednesday, that I felt back to normal.
I’ve not known what it’s like to be really hungry before; I’ve never dieted or not had enough money for food. I can’t say if I was affected by this challenge more than others because I’m pregnant. In a few years, I plan to revisit the challenge and complete the five days. What I can say is the experience has profoundly affected me. No one should have to function on such little calories and the thought of a child having to go through this, especially, is completely heart breaking.
| Item |
Total cost ($) |
Per day ($) |
| 1 lb. dried kidney beans |
1.69 |
0.34 |
| 1 lb. white rice* |
1.07 |
0.21 |
| 24 oz. tomato sauce with basil and garlic |
1.00 |
0.20 |
| 5 instant apple and cinnamon oatmeal* |
0.89 |
0.18 |
| 1 lb. carrots |
0.66 |
0.13 |
| 1 lb. flour* |
0.65 |
0.13 |
| 1 lb. bananas |
0.59 |
0.12 |
| 10 green tea bags* |
0.50 |
0.10 |
| 0.5 lb. onions |
0.33 |
0.07 |
| Total |
7.38 |
1.48 |
*items bought with a friend so we could split the cost.
Deborah Quinn- Abu Dhabi
When I agreed to try living below the line for a day, I mostly had in mind trying to teach my kids about their relative privilege—that their status as “picky eaters” was in fact the ultimate luxury, given that a person only refuses one kind of food if he knows that another sort of food is available. In Abu Dhabi, where I live, $1.50 converts to about 5 dirhams, or about the cost of a large loaf of bread. I had decided that I would make a sort of vegetable, and as I selected one onion from India, one potato still crusted with dirt from Lebanon, two small carrots grown here in the UAE, I wondered whether the people who picked the vegetables were themselves living below the line in those countries.
My “soup” consisted of a chopped carrot, onion, and potato simmered in water with a bullion cube for flavor. I confess that I used my immersion blender to puree the vegetables when they were soft, so that the soup felt a bit thicker and more filling. I used another onion and some dried staples—lentils and rice—to make mejadra, a dish from Ottolenghi’s Jerusalem cookbook. Families all over this region have their own mejadra recipe, each with slightly different proportions of spices, but the dish is quintessential feed-a-lot-of-people-on-not-much: fried onions stirred into lentils and rice. With my soup and my lentils and rice, I wasn’t hungry, but I wasn’t terribly satisfied, either: I wanted sugar, I wanted coffee, I wanted fresh green lettuce and ripe tomatoes.
I thought about the migrant workers in Abu Dhabi, who come from desperately poor towns in places like Goa, Kerala, Islamabad, or Peshawar, who work here for a pittance but are nevertheless making more money than they would at home. What are they filling their bellies with, in order to face another day of work in Abu Dhabi’s broiling sunshine? And given the world’s insistence—and reliance—on global capitalism, with its relentless emphasis on bottom line profits, how will we ever bring about permanent change, so that boullion soup is something you eat only when you have an upset tummy and not because it’s all you can afford?
Alison Fraser- Canada
My first attempt at living below the poverty line was much more challenging than I had anticipated. I had visions of making creative dishes to spread the $1.50 as thin as possible. It didn’t work. The bottom line is that $1.50 doesn’t get you much in terms of food in Canada. My meals consisted of small spooned amounts of peanut butter just to keep me going. I tried to drink lots of water to conquer the hunger, but that didn’t help much either. Fruit and vegetables were much too expensive to include in my meal plan, as winter in Canada results in costly produce.
In the end, my mind kept drifting back to my time in Tanzania where I met women who lived below the poverty line every single day. Some of these women were sick, and were forced to choose between their life and the needs of their children, as many HIV medications can only be taken with food. I can’t even imagine having to make that choice. So unfair.
This was an incredibly emotional experience and next year, I am determined to do it for more than just one day.
Elizabeth Atalay- USA
I could feel the color rising in my cheeks as the cashier called over the store manager. I had $7.50 to spend for my five day Live Below The Line food budget, and the misleading sale sign had just caused my order to ring up 65 cents over my carefully calculated bill. I could see them exchanging exasperated looks as I explained that the (crappy) instant coffee I had purchased was advertised for less than it rang up. The hunger pangs I felt later in the day were not what stuck with me from this challenge, those took place in the privacy of my home. It was the sting of humiliation as the line of people behind me built up while I caused a scene over 65 cents at the grocery store. I was mortified, and imagined having to swallow my pride like this on a regular basis. I can describe the tightening in my chest, the flush of my cheeks, and acid rising in my throat better than I can explain the emotion that moment made me feel…powerless, small, ashamed? The manager explained that the sale was only for purchases of $25 or more. They said they would give it to me anyways since I had told them, without going into detail, that I only had $7.50 to spend, and it was false advertising. As much as I wanted to save face, I certainly wasn’t going to take the time to try to explain that I was doing it as part of the Live Below The Line campaign then, with the impatient crowd waiting for their turn. I plan to take the full 5 day challenge when it officially runs between April 28- May 2nd. After doing it for just one day I can see how impactful it is in deepening empathy, and understanding on the issue of hunger, and what it means to live in poverty.
What $7.50 bought after sales, coupons, and making a scene.
Jennifer Burden- USA
They (LBL) got me. Big time. I’ve read about poverty, tweeted about it, gone to the far reaches of Uganda with the Shot@Life campaign, where I met children who are fed their one and only meal a day at school. I’ve also donated to local food banks, here, in NJ, USA. I felt like I knew how important it is that there are people near and far who go hungry and that 1.2 billion people on the planet live below the poverty line, and that I was doing enough. So, like a “know-it-all teenager” I naively went into this challenge thinking that I wouldn’t really learn much. Boy, was I wrong. Really wrong.
Originally, I signed up for a day of the Live Below the Line Challenge, and then, by Day 2, I had
committed myself to the full challenge — 5 days. I thought I’d be celebrating on Day 5 that I had gotten that far, but there was a whole transformation. Check out my video from Day 5:
Every global health advocate, college student, mom, dad, teen, blogger, journalist, CEO, teacher, living human who is living above the poverty level, etc., should consider experiencing the challenge. The impact on eliminating world poverty would be profound if even more people were involved. It would be incredible. The challenge was a REAL eye-opener and new motivator for me. You’ve gotta do this!!!!!
Visit our World Moms Blog Team Live Below The Line Page to benefit UNICEF, where you can donate to help those less fortunate, or see the impact we’ve already made in the challenge.
The Live Below The Line Challenge will run from April 28th to May 2nd and you can
sign up here as an individual or team.
Will you take the challenge?This is an original post written for World Moms Blog by Elizabeth Atalay, Jennifer Burden, Hannah Ashton, Deborah Quinn, and Alison Fraser.
Elizabeth Atalay is a Digital Media Producer, Managing Editor at World Moms Network, and a Social Media Manager. She was a 2015 United Nations Foundation Social Good Fellow, and traveled to Ethiopia as an International Reporting Project New Media Fellow to report on newborn health in 2014. On her personal blog, Documama.org, she uses digital media as a new medium for her background as a documentarian. After having worked on Feature Films and Television series for FOX, NBC, MGM, Columbia Pictures, Warner Brothers, 20th Century Fox, and Castle Rock Pictures, she studied documentary filmmaking and anthropology earning a Masters degree in Media Studies from The New School in New York. Since becoming a Digital Media Producer she has worked on social media campaigns for non-profits such as Save The Children, WaterAid, ONE.org, UNICEF, United Nations Foundation, Edesia, World Pulse, American Heart Association, and The Gates Foundation. Her writing has also been featured on ONE.org, Johnson & Johnson’s BabyCenter.com, EnoughProject.org, GaviAlliance.org, and Worldmomsnetwork.com. Elizabeth has traveled to 70 countries around the world, most recently to Haiti with Artisan Business Network to visit artisans in partnership with Macy’s Heart of Haiti line, which provides sustainable income to Haitian artisans. Elizabeth lives in New England with her husband and four children.
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by Michelle Lewsen | Mar 31, 2014 | 2014, Being Thankful, Expat Life, Family, Oceania, South Africa, World Moms Blog Writer Interview, Writing
Where in the world do you live? And, are you from there?
Asking me where I am from is never going to get you a short answer. I was born and raised in Johannesburg, South Africa where I had the most idyllic of childhoods. South Africa is a magical place with a breathtaking natural landscape to rival anywhere in the world. It’s also a place full of the most vibrant, colourful people who will welcome visitors with a wide grin and open arms.
It was there that I learnt about tolerance, diversity and how to love fellow members of the human race. Nelson Mandela called South Africans the Rainbow Nation and the world thinks this is because of the country’s diversity of race. For me, it goes deeper – this Rainbow Nation refers to a culture of people with vibrantly coloured hearts.
As you can imagine, it was with great sadness that I left South Africa in my twenties and migrated to Western Australia. In the fifteen years that I’ve lived here, I have learned that Australia is not terribly different from South Africa. Here, too, you will be welcomed with a grin, a cold beer and the notion that “it’ll be right, mate!”
I count myself as one who is truly blessed to have lived two lives in such beautiful places. So here I am, Michelle Lewsen, a South African Australian. Pleased to meet you!
What language(s) do you speak?
Amazingly, even though I was raised and schooled in a country that has eleven official languages, I speak only English with any fluency. I can speak a little Zulu, a little Sotho and a little Afrikaans but not enough – it’s one of my regrets.
When did you first become a mother?
I became a mother eleven years ago and have three children who fascinate me daily with their individual idiosyncrasies, their wit and the fact that these beautiful little human beings somehow are mine.
Are you a stay-at-home mom or do you work?
I am beyond fortunate to be able to be a stay at home Mum, which works perfectly with my writing.
Why do you blog/write?
Conversely, my writing is what keeps me from going stir-crazy at home! Nobody tells you just how lonely a house full of children can feel and I am so grateful for the amazing people I’ve met through blogging and writing – people who began as Twitter handles and Facebook statuses and have become some of my dearest friends.
My writing is not only for my own sanity, but because I believe I have something to offer the world. I find it incredibly rewarding to wake up in the morning and read comments on my blog that say I’ve helped someone else through their tough day. I write because I can’t not write. Simple as that.
How would you say that you are different from other mothers?
I am a Mum, just like every other Mum out there. We all love our children, we all scream and lose the plot sometimes, we all struggle through the laughter and tears and tantrums and achievements and disappointments and fears and joys. I am no different.
What do you view as the challenges of raising a child in today’s world?
This world we are raising our kids in is a scarier place, for sure. The internet brings new friends but it also carries the risk of inviting some not-so-nice people into our children’s lives. The internet is the single greatest gift our generation has given our children’s generation and it is also the greatest curse. My biggest fear as a mother, absolutely, is the idea of my children being hurt. But then, I’m no different from you, am I?
How did you find World Moms Blog?
How did I find World Moms Blog? In July 2013, I was honoured as a Voice of the Year at BlogHer ’13 and I traveled to Chicago for the conference. In a pre-conference session, Jennifer Burden stood up and introduced herself and World Moms Blog and asked a question. She was so eloquent
and so interesting, I had to hunt her down and introduce myself. World Moms Blog fascinated me because of this belief I have that no matter where we are from, a Mum is a Mom is a Mama is an Imma is a Mother. We are all the same.
Thank you for inviting me to be a part of this incredibly talented community of writers. I am honoured and look forward to getting to know you all.
by Jennifer Burden | Mar 26, 2014 | 2014, Poverty, World Moms Blog, World Voice
A few months ago, the Live Below the Line of Poverty Challenge contacted World Moms Blog to ask if any of our contributors would like to take their challenge — 5 days of living on $1.50 per day.
According to the World Bank, there are over 1.2 billion people living below the line of extreme poverty in the world, which is defined as living on below $1.25 per day. The Global Poverty Project is challenging everyone to live on $1.50 per day to advocate for the world’s poorest. They state,
“We run Live Below the Line because we believe to really fight poverty, we’ve got to better understand it.”
Well, I had no idea what I was getting into. When the request came around cheerleaded by World Moms Blog Senior Editor, Elizabeth Atalay of Documama, I joined in because some of our contributors REALLY wanted to do this. I remember my friend, Holly Pavlika of MOMentum Nation, completing the challenge several years ago before she left for Tanzania with Shot@Life. We were at a lunch for a Shot@Life Champion event in NYC, and she declined her lunch and chose to eat 2 boiled eggs instead. I, on the other hand, chose the salmon and asked if I could sneak her some. She explained that she wasn’t allowed to take hand outs on the challenge. I was intrigued…
So when the request to live on $1.50 a day came around, I said, “I’ll do it, but just for one day, not five.” Well, here I am on Day 3…
World Moms Blog Editor, Hannah Ashton, suggested that we pool our resources, my $7.50 for 5 days and her $7.50 for 5 days. The plan was that amount would buy enough food for 5 days, and then for the one day of our challenge we would eat a fifth of the food.
My rations included 1 bag of beans, 2 cups of white rice, 2 cups of flour, 1 small bag of carrots, 3 bananas, 5 packs of instant oatmeal with dried apples and cinnamon, 1 jar of tomato sauce, some green tea bags and two onions. We had 12 cents left over each, so we justified a pinch of salt and a tiny bit of oil from our kitchens.
I’ve been sharing my experience on my personal Facebook Page, and I’m going to show you what happened:
Live Below the Line Day 1
I had two portions of the beans and onions over rice, thinking that I could “anchor” my stomach by filling it. That evening, I had tea and a banana for dinner. But, I was so hungry when I went to bed.
Live Below the Line Day 2
The next morning I woke up, and realized that there is actually a lot of things I do for my kids in the morning, including making their breakfast, before I had mine. I was feeling really hungry while running around and getting the laundry started. When I finally made my way to the kitchen, I realized that my oldest daughter had eaten one of my banana rations. I stopped short.
“Noooooooo!!”, I thought.
But, that’s the point where the transformation began for me. It wasn’t just about feeling hungry, I began to think differently.
“So, this is how it feels for a mom living in poverty?” Her child is hungry, and so is she. I left the banana out within reach, so there was no time to cut and share it.
Next, I made my instant oats with boiled water. My children both wanted to try it. At home, they are used to oatmeal that we mix with flax-seed and a little mini chocolate chips to sweeten the deal with some milk. (For me on the challenge, the flax-seed, chocolate chips and milk were too luxurious today.) So, they were curious. I shared, although my stomach was growling, and since they weren’t doing the challenge, I thought I could direct them to their lovely 5 grain bread and melon. But, I thought, “Ok, keep it real. What would a mother in this situation have to do?” I let them try the oatmeal. They didn’t like it. Relief. I gobbled it up.
Ok, so I was joking. I really didn’t want to punch Steve, but you know what I mean! He actually wanted to join the challenge at the last-minute, but I told him that I only had rations for one. Maybe the idea was in my head that this could continue? In the meantime, I had to deal with him eating gourmet pizza, while I was chomping on beans.
So, at this point, I thought, “I’ll do it up through dinner. I’m hosting book club tonight, and there’s noooo way, I will be able to get through not snacking with my friends. Book Club is more like “Eat Club”. I was pretty sure that’s where my journey ended. Hey, that’s nearly a full day past what I said I’d do, right? But, I guess something in me didn’t want to stop, so I put the request out, “Do you think I should continue?”
One of my friends suggested that she thought I could do it, but why would I want to?? Her question was a pivotal part in my journey. The challenge was taking a new role. I spent the morning reflecting:
“I’m understanding in more detail things I have already learned, such as how during a trip to Uganda with the Shot@Life campaign, we learned that if a father bought a soft drink, that expense meant the family may go hungry. Last night I was just annoyed that my husband mentioned food. How would I have reacted if I was a mother in the situation with the soft drink in places in Uganda?? I’m understanding by feeling instead of just reading and seeing. The places this experience is taking my mind and my senses is what is keeping me going to want to learn more. I may never know what it’s like to live in extreme poverty, but this challenge is reminding me on another level of why eradicating extreme poverty should be a human priority.
Right now, it’s getting through it and feeling everything, then it will be, “What can I do about it?”.
Live Below the Line Day 3…
So, last night, I made it through Book Club. I had beans with onions and tomato sauce over rice for lunch and dinner. I was too hungry to snap a picture beforehand. I had my dinner later in the day, so I wasn’t hungry in the evening when all of the food was out. My friends were really supportive, nobody held me down and pushed guacamole down my mouth. They had a lot of questions, too.
It wasn’t until my friends left that I began to feel the hunger pangs. I quickly put everything away and left the dishes for the morning. I went to bed last night thinking, “How do people who make very little money in food service get through their day among all the food?”
The ability to understand advocacy on another level — feeling — is what has brought me to day 3 of what was supposed to be only a 1 day project.
I plan to continue to Friday for the full 5 day challenge, and also look out for an article about all the World Moms Blog contributors who are taking the challenge with Deborah Quinn from MannaHattaMamma in the UAE; Hannah Ashton, Elizabeth Atalay of Documama, and Polish Mom Photographer in the USA; Alison Fraser of Mom2Mom Africa in Canada; and Purnima Ramakrishnan of The Alchemist’s Blog in India. I’m curious to hear how the challenge went for them!
World Moms Blog wasn’t expecting to fundraise for the challenge, but after requests from friends on Facebook, we have created a World Moms Blog donation page on the Live Below the Line site. Donations made to our page there will benefit UNICEF, an organization whose great work I observed in Uganda with the Shot@Life campaign.
Want to have an in-body experience to help the world’s 1.2 billion living below the poverty line? How about joining the Live Below the Line challenge, too? Plan now to start between April 28th and May 2nd. There are site challenges in the US, UK, Australia, New Zealand, Canada and Colombia.
You can help the World Moms Blog contributors with their challenge. Share this post to help us spread the word about our Live Below the Line challenge!
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by founder, Jennifer Burden in NJ, USA.
Jennifer Burden is the Founder and CEO of World Moms Network, an award winning website on global motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. World Moms Network writes from over 30 countries, has over 70 contributors and was listed by Forbes as one of the “Best 100 Websites for Women”, named a “must read” by The New York Times, and was recommended by The Times of India.
She was also invited to Uganda to view UNICEF’s family health programs with Shot@Life and was previously named a “Global Influencer Fellow” and “Social Media Fellow” by the UN Foundation. Jennifer was invited to the White House twice, including as a nominated "Changemaker" for the State of the World Women Summit. She also participated in the One Campaign’s first AYA Summit on the topic of women and girl empowerment and organized and spoke on an international panel at the World Bank in Washington, DC on the importance of a universal education for all girls. Her writing has been featured by Baby Center, Huffington Post, ONE.org, the UN Foundation’s Shot@Life, and The Gates Foundation’s “Impatient Optimists.” She is currently a candidate in Columbia University's School of International and Public Affairs in the Executive Masters of Public Affairs program, where she hopes to further her study of global policies affecting women and girls.
Jennifer can be found on Twitter @JenniferBurden.
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by Kristine Brite McCormick | Mar 25, 2014 | 2014, Interviews, World Moms Blog Writer Interview, World Motherhood
Meet World Moms Blog Contributor Kristine Brite McCormick, and learn how Cora’s Story is helping to help save lives.
Where in the world do you live? And, are you from there? I was born and raised in Indiana, USA. I am originally from a small rural Indiana town, went to college at Indiana University- Bloomington and settled in Indianapolis, Indiana.
What language(s) do you speak? I speak English as a native speaker. I took German in high school and college, and could probably get by if dropped into the middle of Germany, but would have a hard time. I also took French in high school, but am not anywhere near fluent.
When did you first become a mother?
Kristine And Cora McCormick
I became a mother on Easter Sunday, 2009 when I saw the positive pregnancy test. That test and little baby growing in my belly ended up being my first and only child, Cora. She was born November 2009, and died five days later of an undetected congenital heart defect.
Are you a stay-at-home mom or do you work? I work at home. I work for an outside company doing things like data entry and customer support. I also write for several blogs and occasionally people even pay me to do that.
Why do you blog/write? I’m one of those people born with a writer’s genes. I remember when I was around 8 or 9 years old staying up with a goal of writing a certain amount of stories before the ball dropped on New Year’s Eve, while most children my age were running around throwing confetti, I was writing away. I write now because it is part of whom I am. My writing on advocacy issues and making the world a better place, all strive from my desire to remember and honor my daughter. I’m deeply interested in writing about child health, especially newborn health around the world.
How would you say that you are different from other mothers? I’m a childless mother, because my child is not here. I feel like a mother, but I have no child here with me. I mother her quite differently. I help pass laws in her name to save other babies. I share her story. I spill tears over missing her, and not tears over her being frustrating.
What do you view as the challenges of raising a child in today’s world? With my experience, I dove into reading about children around the world. For me, the biggest challenge is keeping a child alive and healthy. While here in the United States, many of my fellow mothers don’t have to really worry about that, I can relate to moms in other countries, where getting enough food to keep their child alive is a daily struggle. Of course, I don’t write that to take away from their struggle or pretend to know what it feels like. However, I know what it feels like when your child dies something that might have been prevented.
How did you find World Moms Blog? I’ve known about World Moms Blog since I’ve entered the advocacy world because of all of the amazing work the writers here do in sharing their stories and the stories of moms and children around the globe. I don’t remember the day I found you, but am sure glad I did.
We sure are glad you did too!
This interview of Kristine Brite McCormick of www.Corasstory.com is an original post written for World Moms Blog.
Kristine Brite McCormick is a fierce advocate for newborn health and safety. She entered this world of fighting for the lives of babies unwillingly when her daughter Cora died of an undetected congenital heart defect. She lives in Indiana, USA, with her husband and three dogs.
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by Kyla P'an (Portugal) | Mar 24, 2014 | 2014, Awareness, Being Thankful, Childhood, Education, Eye on Culture, Family, Feminism, Inspirational, Language, Life Lesson, Parenting, Preschool, Relationships, USA, Womanhood, Women's Rights, World Mom Feature, World Moms Blog, World Motherhood, Younger Children
From almost the moment our daughter came onto the scene eight years ago, we knew she had a strong personality. She was one of those incredibly alert and determined babies; the type you could tell was processing her surroundings and trying to figure out what to do about them.
While many babies and toddlers her age were delighted to be pushed in a swing, my daughter would have nothing to do with swings until she was old enough to figure out what made them go. She had no desire to be the passive recipient of being pushed, instead she wanted to be in control; she wanted to conquer it. She took the same approach with toys, puzzles and games. She was an early walker, a determined eater, and an all-around intense little thing.
My husband and I frequently got comments like: “boy, you’ve got your hands full with that one,” or “she’s going to keep you on your toes.”
As our daughter grew, by far her favorite activities involved sorting, organizing and problem solving. I have one vivid memory of her toddler music class, when she was just two years old. About three-quarters of the way through the class, the teacher put out a basket of instruments for the children to choose from and play along with. Our daughter, who was particularly fond of the little plastic eggs filled with beans—which she called shake-a’s—was determined to collect as many of them as possible. Driven by this singular motive, she went around the room delivering alternate instruments to fellow toddlers and parents alike. Anytime she encountered an individual who already had a shake-a, she’d attempt to persuade them with an alternate instrument in exchange until she had gathered a significant cache.
During these displays of self-assured behavior and go-get-‘em spirit, I often found myself shrinking into the background, hoping other parents wouldn’t fault me for having such a pushy, precocious child. At this particular music class, however, a parent approached me afterwards and commended me for having such a “strong child with clear leadership potential.” With her few words of encouragement, this parent liberated me from my deep mommy guilt about having a child with drive.
I was in constant conflict because, even though I am a child of the 70’s—a time when many of our mothers here in the US were breaking down stereotypes and entering the workforce en masse—I was raised by my father, who came from an old-world upbringing and had old-fashioned views of how boys and girls should behave.
I am reluctant to admit that, rather than celebrating my daughter’s inherent leadership qualities, I labeled her as “bossy” and occasionally even criticized her for being too demonstrative.
Bossy, a word inferring that someone is behaving “boss-like,” should be a compliment heralding someone’s leadership skills but ironically, instead it criticizes her for it. It’s a label reserved primarily for girls. You rarely hear it applied to boys. A little girl on the playground, organizing kids into teams and assigning them roles will quickly be knocked down a few rungs by calling her “bossy,” whereas a little boy taking the same actions might be respected and followed.
I’m ashamed to admit, even I supported this stereotype. I was concerned my daughter was too confident interacting with adults, leading activities and organizing groups. I was concerned she wasn’t “girly” enough, lacked empathy and a gentle, nurturing-side. As a modern, liberated and independent woman myself, I still didn’t want her peers to ostracize her or put her down.
Why was I struggling between nurturing and diminishing my daughter’s inner boss? Why was I uncomfortable with her being a leader, or overly-confident or intensely goal oriented? What could I do to help raise this new generation of girl-leaders?
Two weeks ago I got some reassuring answers. They were in the Wall Street Journal, on a full-page, front-of-section article titled, “Don’t Call Us Bossy.” And the women giving the encouragement were the Chief Operating Officer of Facebook, Sheryl Sandberg, and the Chief Executive Officer of Girl Scouts, USA, Anna Maria Chavez.
Sandberg and Chavez’s goal is to redirect our thinking about the way girls lead. To relabel our vocabulary about girls’ take-charge behavior. Instead of bossy behavior, recognize it as executive leadership potential, like CBS television anchor, Norah O’Donnell does. Instead of discouraging ambitious goals, support girls to recognize their inherent ability to achieve whatever goal they set out for.
I think the world would be a very different—and frankly far more pleasant—place to live in if there were more “bossy” women in charge.
Let’s take a stand to have more female bosses in the workplace; Here’s to raising our girls to be the leaders they are capable of being, not the followers our lexicon makes them feel they are supposed to be!
Did anyone ever call you “bossy” growing up? Do you see these qualities in your own child? How do you feel about assertive and confident girls?
For ways to encourage leadership in girls, visit LeanIn.org and BanBossy two of the movements supported by Sheryl Sandberg, Ana Maria Chavez and Girl Scouts, USA.
This is an original post to World Moms Blog from our managing editor and mother of two, Kyla P’an.
The image used in this post is credited to Pat Moore. It holds a Flickr Creative Commons attribution license.
Kyla was born in suburban Philadelphia but spent most of her time growing up in New England. She took her first big, solo-trip at age 14, when she traveled to visit a friend on a small Greek island. Since then, travels have included: three months on the European rails, three years studying and working in Japan, and nine months taking the slow route back from Japan to the US when she was done. In addition to her work as Managing Editor of World Moms Network, Kyla is a freelance writer, copy editor, recovering triathlete and occasional blogger. Until recently, she and her husband resided outside of Boston, Massachusetts, where they were raising two spunky kids, two frisky cats, a snail, a fish and a snake. They now live outside of Lisbon, Portugal with two spunky teens and three frisky cats. You can read more about Kyla’s outlook on the world and parenting on her personal blogs, Growing Muses And Muses Where We Go
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by Purnima Ramakrishnan | Mar 11, 2014 | 2014, Brazil, Humanitarian, International, Poverty, Purnima, Social Good, The Alchemist, Travel, World Moms Blog, World Voice, Writing
United Nations Foundation
Sometime back I wrote in my personal blog that I am ‘NOT’ a globe-trotting mama. But here I am getting ready for my next adventure all over Brazil.
I am honored and proud to officially announce that I have been selected to receive a fellowship in Journalism and will be reporting from Brazil for the International Reporting Project as part of the John Hopkins School of Advanced International Studies. I shall be reporting about reduction of poverty and hunger in Brazil, and how it has embraced the Millennium Development Goals to improve the lives of its citizens.
Here at World Moms Blog, working for the MDGs has been something close to our hearts. And hence this trip is also very close to my heart where I will be learning so much and sharing what we do here at World Moms Blog through media and through the power of mothers. Having launched the Moms4MDGs campaign in Chicago, during BlogHer13 and following up very closely and working with it has made me feel very passionate about this cause.
As I brace myself for a hectic fortnight in the 2nd and 3rd week of April, where we may go back-packing and camping in rural and sub-urban Brazil, one thought comes to my mind – What is it that I am going to achieve, apart from the learning and all the anticipated fun? I really don’t know that yet.
I only know that this trip is going to be very special in so many ways.
I have written posts about the 8 MDGs in the past about a few topics including Environment, Eco-feminism, reducing Infant mortality rate, child-health, Social issues and empowerment of girl child and women. I now also look forward to learn more about reduction of health, poverty, hunger and improvement of the lifestyle of citizens by the sustained effort of various individuals and organizations.
This trip is going to take me places very rugged and rustic like rural villages where connectivity could be difficult, I understand. It makes me a bit concerned, honestly. Not being in touch with my family, especially my son every single moment is going to be difficult. I leave him in good care and support; however this phase sure will be tricky to cope.
We do not have a detailed itinerary yet, but I know that it is going to be exciting. Exciting? Yes, at times, IRP fellows have also met with Presidents/Prime Ministers of the countries they visit. So, it is just not back-packing and camping and reporting from the villages. It is also meeting with the decision makers and understanding how the entire system works.
Anybody want to guess what came in the mail yesterday? A luggage tag featuring the WMB lady, just in time for my travels. Jen, Thank you! I love this so much and as I pack my bags for Brazil, this is something which will always remind me of the love and comradeship of this beautiful group.
Please look forward to my everyday thoughts and stories, and possibly photographs, video posts, blog posts, slideshows, updates on social networks, assuming I have a good internet connection.
You can track my posts from this trip at #Moms4MDGs.You can track all posts from this trip using #BrazilMDGs.
I will be tweeting from both @WorldMomsBlog and @Puma_Vinod. I will vicariously be posting on Facebook both on my personal profile and World Moms Blog profile too.
Please feel free to ask me any questions and leave your comments about this trip. I would also love to read any of your insights on Brazil.
This is the first of the many posts credited to the International Reporting Project (IRP), as part of my reporting from Brazil on this fellowship.
Photo credit United Nations Foundation.
This is an original post written by Purnima Ramakrishnan for World Moms Blog.
