by World Moms Blog | Oct 5, 2013 | Motherhood, Travel, Working Mother, World Tour
“From Technicals to Tummy Time: Inside My Decision to be a Stay-At-Home Mom”
Rebels, instability, armored vehicles, curfew, and no-go zones. Four short years ago, those words dominated my daily life. Fast forward to today and it’s diapers, infant Tylenol, Boogie Wipes, potty training, and “Dinosaur Train.” I think we can call that a pretty significant life change. Was it one that I saw coming? Not at all.
My husband and I always knew that we wanted to have children – definitely two and probably more. We were excited about traveling the world with them, raising them abroad, and teaching them about the importance of being open, understanding, and tolerant of other cultures. Our Foreign Service lifestyle was perfect for this. At the time I became pregnant with my first, we had already lived in Africa, Asia, South America, North America, Australia, and the Middle East. We were looking forward to the adventures that lay ahead with a family in tow. We could have a family, continue our careers, and introduce our children to so much of the world.
All the while, I could remain doing the very unique and powerful work that had defined not only my career, but me as a person. My role included participating in demining campaigns along the Mozambique-Tanzania border, serving as an independent observer in Mozambique’s local and national elections, barring Venezuelan drug dealers from entry into the United States, visiting and speaking with rebel groups and refugees in Darfur, Sudan, and being baffled – ad nauseam – by the lack of progress in U.S.-China climate negotiations.
I never thought much about leaving my career to be a stay-at-home mom. Before I was pregnant, a distant family member lambasted me for entertaining the idea I might continue my career after children came along – a judgment which deeply offended me (and still does). Working as a U.S. diplomat, and perhaps becoming an ambassador, is always what I had wanted to do. I didn’t believe working full-time and being a mom were mutually exclusive (and for the record, I still don’t).
My dad – a captain for Pan American Airways – and my mom – a flight attendant for National Airlines – continued to work after I was born for several years, carefully arranging their schedules so that one of them could be at home with me while the other was away. Why could my husband and I not continue our careers in the Service, alternating times we might need to work late to accommodate receptions and presidential visits, and raise our family in the way we wanted to? We could. So it was with that mindset I worked until the day I delivered my first baby. In the final weeks before delivery I worked until midnight, defining U.S. South China Sea policy – assured that I would be back to work after the standard three-month maternity leave period ended.
However, after the birth of our son, something changed for me – something visceral; something very basic. Once I held our baby in my arms, it became clear to me that no visits to U.S.-funded rural hospitals, Darfur peace negotiations, or U.S.-China strategic dialogues could convince me to be away from him.
While I had loved my job, my calling in life had changed to raising him – and other children we might have – in the best way that I could, making myself available to him as often as I could. I had changed my mind; my whole outlook on my career, and pretty much – life. I resigned from the U.S. Foreign Service and became a stay-at-home mom.
My husband and I were extremely happy with the decision, but there were many others that weren’t. My own dad called me a quitter and repeatedly voiced his “disappointment” with my decision. “I thought you’d be an Ambassador,” he said. At work, others tried to call my bluff. Why would I quit my career with the seniority I had accrued? That wouldn’t make any sense, right?
I write this not to judge others for their decision to continue to work after the birth of a baby – only to share my story.
I, so dedicated to work and ambitious in my career goals, chose to walk away from it all after our son was born. It was a decision that shocked me. It was not something I saw coming – not even at 39.5 weeks pregnant; yet, this was something that was crystal clear when I became a mother. I realize how important it is for parents to make their own decisions about work/life balance. Many moms, several of my closest friends included, feel the need to balance work and parenthood equally. I admire them for the ability to juggle both so beautifully and successfully. I also realize that many families cannot afford for one parent to choose to stay at home. To those families, I have the utmost respect, because I can only begin to understand how hard it might be to want to stay at home with your children, but not be able to do so.
Parenthood, motherhood, fatherhood – they change you. You might choose to remain in your same working pattern, but you will have become a more sensitive soul. You might decide that a Saturday trip to the park is far more enjoyable than dining at your favorite brunch spot. And you will begin to cherish sleep more than you ever thought possible. Welcoming a baby into your life is powerfully transformative. Things you never gave a moment’s thought to before become incredibly important – and may even change your path, and that of your children.
So, what changed for you?
Loren Braunohler and her family moved to Bangkok in November 2010. A former U.S.diplomat who served in Mozambique, Venezuela, Sudan, Washington DC, and Thailand, Loren resigned from the U.S. Foreign Service in July 2011 to be a full-time mom to son Logan, now age three and daughter Katelyn, age fourteen months. When parenting permits, Loren is a freelance journalist and regularly contributes to Travel+Leisure Southeast Asia, CNN Travel, and Bangkok Mothers and Babies International Magazine, among others, and guests blogs for premier parenting websites such as World Moms Blog. In 2012, Loren started Toddle Joy, an online blog and resource for expat parents of young children who are new to Thailand and the region.
Samples of Loren’s work are available on her website www.toddlejoy.com. Photo credit to the author.
World Moms Blog is an award winning website which writes from over 30 countries on the topics of motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. Over 70 international contributors share their stories from around the globe, bonded by the common thread of motherhood and wanting a better world for their children.
World Moms Blog was listed by Forbes Woman as one of the "Best 100 Websites for Women 2012 & 2013" and also called a "must read" by the NY Times Motherlode in 2013. Our Senior Editor in India, Purnima Ramakrishnan, was awarded the BlogHer International Activist Award in 2013.
More Posts
by Elizabeth Atalay | Oct 1, 2013 | 2013, Education, Eye on Culture, Hobby, Humanitarian, Kenya, Media, Social Good, World Moms Blog
The Founder of the View Finder Workshop describes her inspiration:
“I WAS WALKING THROUGH CITÉ SOLEIL, the largest slum in the Western Hemisphere located in Haiti, one of the poorest places on Earth. Trash littered the streets and dirty stagnant rainwater was often used as latrines. The sun pulsated directly overhead, bleaching the blue sky to a blinding white. Sweat droplets raced down my spine and pooled at my lower back. Children dressed in rags – or for some, in nothing at all – played a spirited game of soccer with a half-inflated ball. I snapped a picture of a group of rambunctious kids, only to have eager young hands grab at my camera to see the image captured on my screen.
The novelty of the reproduction faded and most darted off between the shanty houses. One remained, diligently pointing at each face on the screen, as if ticking them off in his head. He stopped at the last one. His own. He let out a burst of pure, innocent, giggling glee and scampered off. Alone, I realized that for people who have next to nothing, a mirror is an unattainable luxury. This child only met his reflection by process of elimination. For he knew which ones were his friends and which one was the stranger.
I was struck dumb. For I never realized a person could walk through life without knowing his own physical self. But photography can change that. It lets a child see himself & his world through different eyes. By learning tangible skills & creating new avenues of self-expression, he can contribute to his life & his community.
And thus, the seed for View Finder Workshop was planted.”
Babita Patel.
founder, humanitarian photographer – Excerpted from the View Finder website
From that moment View Finder Workshops were born. They were born to put the camera into the hands of children who have never had a lens through which to objectively view or portray the world in which they live. Children love taking photographs, and especially love taking, and seeing photos of themselves. These are not children growing up in a “selfie” obsessed culture, but kids who may not have ever even seen a mirror image of themselves. To put a camera in their hands proves liberating and empowering in a way that is hard to imagine, until you witness the pure joy on their faces when they see the images that they capture.
Photography as a visual medium provides a creative expression and ability to both view, and share a perspective from each child’s personal lens. And there is nothing like viewing the world through the eyes of a child.
The results of last January’s workshop in Haiti in collaboration with Respire Haiti, brought fresh views to the children of Gressier, Haiti who had been serving as restaveks (children enslaved as domestic servants), orphans & other vulnerable children. The images captured were often stark and beautiful. The photos were then exhibited in September in an LA gallery show in Santa Monica where gallery patrons were able to view the results of what the children were able to capture with a camera in their hands. A few of the kid’s prints even sold!
Next the Viewfinder Workshop is gearing up for a workshop in Kenya This fall, where they will be introducing photography to 40 students enrolled at their new school in the Lenana slum, in the country’s capital, in a program that they hope to make a sustainable curiculum. These programs need support to become sustainable, and this is where you can come in. You can like View Finder on Facebook , follow on Twitter , and/or make a donation to help other children to tell their story through images. You may just be the one to benefit from the enchanting worlds they share.
Have you ever put the camera in your own kids hands to see what they come up with?
This is an original post written for World Moms Blog by Elizabeth Atalay of documama.org.
*All photos credited to the View Finder Workshop website.
Elizabeth Atalay is a Digital Media Producer, Managing Editor at World Moms Network, and a Social Media Manager. She was a 2015 United Nations Foundation Social Good Fellow, and traveled to Ethiopia as an International Reporting Project New Media Fellow to report on newborn health in 2014. On her personal blog, Documama.org, she uses digital media as a new medium for her background as a documentarian. After having worked on Feature Films and Television series for FOX, NBC, MGM, Columbia Pictures, Warner Brothers, 20th Century Fox, and Castle Rock Pictures, she studied documentary filmmaking and anthropology earning a Masters degree in Media Studies from The New School in New York. Since becoming a Digital Media Producer she has worked on social media campaigns for non-profits such as Save The Children, WaterAid, ONE.org, UNICEF, United Nations Foundation, Edesia, World Pulse, American Heart Association, and The Gates Foundation. Her writing has also been featured on ONE.org, Johnson & Johnson’s BabyCenter.com, EnoughProject.org, GaviAlliance.org, and Worldmomsnetwork.com. Elizabeth has traveled to 70 countries around the world, most recently to Haiti with Artisan Business Network to visit artisans in partnership with Macy’s Heart of Haiti line, which provides sustainable income to Haitian artisans. Elizabeth lives in New England with her husband and four children.
More Posts
by Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes | Sep 30, 2013 | Babies, Belgium, Family, Kids, Life Balance, Milestones, Parenting, Pregnancy, Relationships, Siblings, Tantrum and Tomatoes, Womanhood, World Mom Feature, World Motherhood, Younger Children
I suppose it is inevitable. After all, people are what they are, they can’t change themselves. And although curiosity was apparently the mastermind behind the murder of someone’s cat, there are many curious people out there.
And curious people ask questions.
Sometimes stupid questions, sometimes profound questions, sometime questions which aren’t really questions but more a judgement on one of your actions and/or beliefs.
And sometimes people ask questions on matters which are none of their damn business.
One of those questions is the oft asked : “When are you having another?” or – since I have two girls: “When are you going to have a boy?”.
The answer usually runs along the lines of : “Oh not just yet! I have enough on my plate with just these two!” or “A boy? With these two… (at which I point at my girls doing whatever they are doing) the poor thing would just get traumatized.”
But I rarely tell the truth: No, never. No we are not trying for another baby. No we are not planning to “gift” our girls with a baby brother.
Perhaps it is due to the fact that I had my two girls in such a short space of time (When n°2 was born n°1 was a mere 16 months old) but I am most definitely done having children.
There are many reasons, finances being but one of them. No, we are not in financial trouble, but face it: raising a child is wickedly expensive. For the past three years we’ve spent a small fortune on day care and let’s not even talk about the price of diapers shall we… Had I been better informed I might seriously have considered buying stock options in Pampers or Huggies. With both kids in school we get a bit of financial breathing space, we can afford to finish our home.
But the main reason is balance.
When you are a mother, whether you have a job or are a stay at home mom, life is nothing less than a big balancing act on a loose rope above a pit filled with hungry tigers and fire.
Our balance is OK, right now. We are not in immediate danger of falling off the rope. Both kids attend school full-time, they are too young to have ‘real’ hobbies yet so no rush, rush, rush on Saturday morning – as yet (Please note: I do not count running after each other screaming bloody murder as a hobby).
Because of their relative closeness in age their feeding schedules (if I may be so blunt) are relatively in sync, meaning I don’t have to provide three or four individual breakfasts, lunches and dinners anymore each day. Lately they’ve started playing proper games together, in which each is an equal player and which do not require constant parental interference, just distant supervision.
We can start going on proper outings without dragging half the nursery and a whole plethora of baby food along, just a change of clothes, some cookies and a water bottle will get us through.
So in short: after four years of clutching desperately at that rope we’ve arrived at a spot where we can breathe freely, where we can relax for just a second, where there is time to be “us” and “just me” again.
The realization that we were as we should be came when we gave away the double stroller without an inch of pain or regret. Just happiness that there would finally be some more room in the garage.
Our family has found its balance and it feels wonderful.
When did you realize your family was as it should be?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog from our writer in Belgium and mother of just two…Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes.
Born in Belgium on the fourth of July in a time before the invention of the smart phone Tinne is a working mother of two adorably mischievous little girls, the wife of her high school sweetheart and the owner of a black cat called Atilla.
Since she likes to cook her blog is mainly devoted to food and because she is Belgian she has an absurd sense of humour and is frequently snarky. When she is not devoting all her attention to the internet, she likes to read, write and eat chocolate. Her greatest nemesis is laundry.
More Posts - Website
Follow Me:
by Elizabeth Atalay | Sep 17, 2013 | 2013, Education, Humanitarian, International, Millennium Development Goals, Uncategorized, World Moms Blog, World Voice
In 2000, 189 nations made a promise to free people from extreme poverty and multiple deprivations. This pledge turned into the eight Millennium Development Goals, and was written as the Millennium Goal Declaration .- United Nations Development Programme
This month as we continue our #Moms4MDG campaign we are excited to be joining forces with Save the Children to talk about MDG #2! Save the Children is an international non-governmental organization that serves to improve the lives of children in developing countries through better education and access to health care. Since 1919 Save the Children has been providing emergency aid to children in natural disasters and relief in conflict or war torn areas.
Millennium Development Goal #2 is to achieve universal primary education. Children need primary education to reach their full potential, and countries need to educate their children to succeed economically. MDG 2 strives for equal access to education for both boys and girls, and although according to the United Nations, primary school enrollment in developing nations is up to 90%, that still leaves around 57 million kids out of school. Imagine the progress that could be made with that many more educated minds.
Join us tomorrow on September 18th for our #Moms4MDGs Twitter party to discuss Global Education and MDG 2 with Save The Children. Twitter Party participants will have the chance to win a giveaway from National Geographic Kids! We hope to see you there.
P.S. Never been to a twitter party before? Go to www.tweetchat.com and put in the hashtag: “#Moms4MDGs during the party times. From there you can retweeet and tweet and the hashtag will automatically be added to your tweets. And, from there you can also view all of the party tweets!
Now head over to World Moms Blog contributor Martine De Luna’s post about MDG 2 on the Save the Children site!
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by World Voice Editor, Elizabeth Atalay of Documama in Rhode Island, USA.
Elizabeth Atalay is a Digital Media Producer, Managing Editor at World Moms Network, and a Social Media Manager. She was a 2015 United Nations Foundation Social Good Fellow, and traveled to Ethiopia as an International Reporting Project New Media Fellow to report on newborn health in 2014. On her personal blog, Documama.org, she uses digital media as a new medium for her background as a documentarian. After having worked on Feature Films and Television series for FOX, NBC, MGM, Columbia Pictures, Warner Brothers, 20th Century Fox, and Castle Rock Pictures, she studied documentary filmmaking and anthropology earning a Masters degree in Media Studies from The New School in New York. Since becoming a Digital Media Producer she has worked on social media campaigns for non-profits such as Save The Children, WaterAid, ONE.org, UNICEF, United Nations Foundation, Edesia, World Pulse, American Heart Association, and The Gates Foundation. Her writing has also been featured on ONE.org, Johnson & Johnson’s BabyCenter.com, EnoughProject.org, GaviAlliance.org, and Worldmomsnetwork.com. Elizabeth has traveled to 70 countries around the world, most recently to Haiti with Artisan Business Network to visit artisans in partnership with Macy’s Heart of Haiti line, which provides sustainable income to Haitian artisans. Elizabeth lives in New England with her husband and four children.
More Posts
by Olga Mecking | Sep 12, 2013 | Multicultural, Netherlands, Preschool, Technology, Uncategorized, World Moms Blog, World Motherhood
I am raising digital natives and I love it. Technology is a big part of our lives. My brother-in-law once jokingly asked: “Is there a pen in this highly digitalized household?”
“iPad” was among my now 2-year old’s first 50 words. When we Skype with my parents, sometimes my 4-year old gets tired and tries to swipe my father’s image away because she thinks that my laptop has a touchscreen.
There are many ways to approach digitalization. Some parents, bloggers and researchers focus on the negative impact digital technology (and technology in general) can have on our lives. They give tips on reducing screen time, warn against oversharing and treat technology as something that needs to be tightly controlled.
Others are amazed by the opportunities that technology offers us. They mention the community- building aspects of social media platforms, the opportunity to access information everywhere and at any time, and remark that our lives have been made much easier by digital technology.
Where do I stand on this? More in the technology-is-awesome camp.
As an expat, I appreciate the possibilities to not only hear my parents’ voices, but to also see them- and they can see the children. I can use my iPad to do yoga with the children, and to connect with them that way. We don’t have a TV, but instead we use our computers to watch TV series and movies, and read the news. I love taking pictures and I have a digital SLR. That way, I can take tons of photos to choose the very best. And I haven’t even touched on the great advantages I get from blogging. My hands rebel when I try to draw or paint, but my computer allows me to do just that.
I view technology as a tool that can be used to our advantage without taking control over our lives. I think that there is a time and place for everything. I love the term “digital natives”. Just as our children can teach us how to speak another language, we can learn to use all these wonderful devices and find delight in using them.
On the other hand, we can teach children to use technology and social media responsibly. I also think that we can teach them the world of paper books and sounds without a picture, and the world outside of the house rather than the world inside of their devices.
To me it is obvious that technology has much to offer in terms of education and play. But I believe that through technology we not only can connect with a device, but with our children (and grandchildren!) as well.
What is your approach to modern technology? Do you love it or hate it?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog from our writer and mother of two in the Netherlands, Olga Mecking.
The photograph used in this post was taken by the author.
Olga is a Polish woman living in the Netherlands with her German husband. She is a multilingual expat mom to three trilingual children (even though, theoretically, only one is trilingual since she's old enough to speak). She loves being an expat, exploring new cultures, learning languages, cooking and raising her children. Occasionally, Olga gives trainings in intercultural communication and works as a translator. Otherwise, you can find her sharing her experiences on her blog, The European Mama. Also take a while to visit her Facebook page .
More Posts - Website
Follow Me:
by Purnima Ramakrishnan | Sep 10, 2013 | Purnima, Vaccines, World Moms Blog, World Voice
Host a GAVI Global Tea Party!
Who wants to add a spin on their regular ladies night out?
We all do!
How about throwing a GAVI Global Tea Party? It’s easy!
The GAVI Alliance is a public and private global health partnership which carries out vaccination programs in developing countries. And the GAVI Global Tea Party is a grass-roots movement of people talking around the world over tea, about immunizations for children in developing nations. There is even a documentary being made out of these international tea parties.
Want to join the movement? Here’s how to host a GAVI-WMB tea party:
- Brew some tea, get out your tea-cups, throw in some snacks, cakes or anything you prefer to eat with a cuppa!
- Next, fire up the computer and fire up some GAVI videos featuring mothers and children around the world benefitting from well needed immunization programs. These videos are great conversation starters! You can discuss what you saw in the videos and your views about spreading awareness.
- Just get talking!
Just three steps – it is as simple as that. Host a party, drink tea, talk about immunizations, ask how interested your guests are about continuing the conversation on immunizations.
Your tea party can be as varied as you want it to be. You can have a minimum of 2 people to 50 people, or however many people, talking about helping to save the lives of children. Did you know that a child dies from a vaccine preventable disease every 20 seconds? Consider helping us shout out about how important it is to have these conversations on global health.
Ideas for your own party can include your own ethnic or geographical spin on it! Or you can just do something as simple as hanging around in a coffee shop for just 5 minutes to view and discuss the videos or host a party in your child’s school for half a day along with the other parents.
There are no hard and fast rules about how you go about raising awareness to help immunize children, many who lack access to vaccines and good medical care.
Some World Moms Bloggers have already hosted their own GAVI-WMB tea parties! Jennifer Burden, founder of World Moms Blog hosted the first party. Allison Charelston of New York did a very memorable party. Lady E of Indonesia did her party in a very scenic place with very beautiful china cups. From India, I did a very informal tea party with my neighbours.
Check all the above links to see how each blogger did it her own way.
Join the GAVI Global Tea Party movement and help save the lives of children in your own fun tea-party kind of way! And…why tea? It’s available in most places on the globe, something to bring us and our compassion to the cause together.
Social Good for international mothers and children efforts are a part of our collaborative mission statement that the writers created at World Moms Blog. We are happy to volunteer this grass-roots awareness idea that we created especially with the work of The GAVI Alliance in mind!
In fact, this tea party was the first international opportunity for social good in the long list of volunteerism for World Moms Blog. We’d like to revive it and get the ball rolling again!
Do you want to be a part of the oldest and first social good initiative of World Moms Blog? Contact me, Purnima Ramakrishnan or Jennifer Burden at worldmomsblog@gmail.com, and we shall guide you in this socially conscious spin on your next gathering!
This is an original World Moms Blog Post written by Purnima RamaKrishnan in India.
