I have a love/hate relationship with TV.
I either love it, as in addicted and couch potato like. Or I hate it, as in I want to throw the TV out of the window and never bring one back into my house. Unfortunately, my husband is addicted to his sports teams so a television free household is not even a remote possibility. Hubby is staying, so the TV is staying too.
I have to admit, at times, television does have its attraction.
Not only is it a free babysitter (well not really if you have cable TV) but it is entertainment that requires no energy or input from you. You sit there passively and just watch. You don’t really have to do anything, except for occasionally laughing or crying.
For many, television is a way to unwind and forget about the stresses of your day. I know because I too am often guilty of vegging out in front of the TV and wasting (unwinding) for hours upon hours.
Of course there are programs I love. Like my recent addiction to Grey’s Anatomy. And as much as I love it and enjoy it, I had a Grey’s Anatomy related Aha! moment about television.
Television is ruining our happiness.
I am not talking about our kids (and ourselves) being influenced by all the commercials and their marketing. I’m also not talking about the fact that instead of interacting with each other we sit and stare at a screen. I’m not even talking about all the violence or inappropriate subject matter our kids, and sometimes we ourselves, are exposed to.
What I am talking about is that television promotes a romanticized picture of life. We catch snippets of “lives”. Snippets that only tell a very small part of a picture-had we been talking about real life and not a show.
Who can compete with the action, the romances and the heroism on a show like Grey’s Anatomy? All the good and the bad is accentuated. Heck, our love lives would look like Meredith and McDreamy’s if all that was “shown” were our tender, loving, passionate, heartbreaking and heroic moments. But regular life happens. ** And we do argue about little things like laundry and dishes and how to raise the kids. And we can be petty and it doesn’t look as “nice” as the petty fights we see couples having on TV.
Things are also so much clearer on TV. We are shown the cause and effect. Things are highlighted. Things are made clear at some point or another. Things are zoomed in on and when there is a “scene”, the three million other things that are happening in your daily life are not really important.
The worse is the fact that unlike real life, every last word on a television series is scripted. The words gone over and over again by high paid and trained writers. How many times in life have we wished that not only our words but our partner’s words were scripted to come out just right? I know I have had whole conversations with my husband….in my head. And when it comes down to having that conversation in real life, at times, it’s a total bust because it didn’t go according to the script in my head.
That very script that is written because of our influences from television. The script that needs to be tied up in a pretty bow by the end of the show.
Television is ruining my life because it has been creeping into my consciousness and making me romanticize how life should be, how it should look and how I should act and how people should react to me. It makes me feel like my life is inadequate and pale in comparison.
What about you? Does television make you feel like your life is less than adequate?
**And on a side note. The elevators in Seattle Grace Hospital (Grey’s Anatomy again) must be really really really slow. I laugh every time there is another long elevator scene because some of the characters’ longest conversations seem to happen in those elevators. Realistic and mirroring life? I think not.
This has been an original post to World Moms Blog by Susie Newday of Israel. You can find her positive thoughts on her blog, New Day New Lesson.
Photo credit to the author.
Susie Newday (Israel)
Susie Newday is a happily-married American-born Israeli mother of five. She is an oncology nurse, blogger and avid amateur photographer. Most importantly, Susie is a happily married mother of five amazing kids from age 8-24 and soon to be a mother in law. (Which also makes her a chef, maid, tutor, chauffeur, launderer...) Susie's blog, New Day, New Lesson, is her attempt to help others and herself view the lessons life hands all of us in a positive light. She will also be the first to admit that blogging is great free therapy as well. Susie's hope for the world? Increasing kindness, tolerance and love. You can also follow her Facebook page New Day, New Lesson where she posts her unique photos with quotes as well as gift ideas.
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I too have a love-hate relationship with television. I also have a can’t live with it/ can’t live without it relationship with it!
My policy when watching TV? Is to suspend disbelief. I watch it knowing that it’s all made up, it’s nowhere near reality and it’s just a form of escapism for me. So I’m not in danger (not anymore!) of romanticizing real life. 🙂
Great post!!!! I completely agree and must say that I never watch TV except the actual documentary once or twice a year. I call it Garbage vision but you can sometimes find good hints on PBS or good documentaries or nature or history shows. Other than that, I am a complete oddball and could go years without ever watching TV. I has gotten so stupid with all those reality shows and yes it is not realistic life and harmful. I let the kids watch their cartoons but that is about it. I would rather read a book! I worry about our society spending and wasting too much time in front of the TV especially kids. Excellent post!!!
Susie, maybe you need some real life TV? And, I’m not talking “Survivor”! My favorite recently has been the Oprah Winfrey Network’s (OWN) Masterclass series. They interview people and they use their life and what they’ve learned like a class. It is really inspirational!! My favorites are from a previous series, Maya Angelou and in the recent series, Laird Hamilton (surfer).
My favorite movies are documentaries. For times when I don’t want to do thinking and I want to sit back and relax and enjoy – Modern Family, Desperate Housewives and 30 Rock!
Great post!
Jen 🙂
I also have a love-hate relationship with TV. I don’t watch the dramas, but instead go for the infotainment programmes e.g. food and travel shows for ideas of where to eat and for our family holidays. But sometimes I feel guilty about wasting time in front of the TV when there are thousand and one things to be done! By the way, when I attended the pre-marital course, the trainers (a married couple) advised us not to have a TV for the first year of marriage and instead do other interactive activities together so as to really bond as a married couple. I thought that was good advice but my hubby was horrified with the idea. He cannot do without the TV (I think men love their TVs more than women)!
My hubby & I have always told our children that TV is make-believe.
When they were little I used to watch selected “educational” programs with them (like Barney!). As they got older I let them watch selected children’s programs which were popular with the other children. Now I’m blessed with a 16 year old daughter and 19 year old son that seldom watch TV at all! My husband and I watch a selection of programs which range from sport and documentaries to movies and sitcoms. Our only “indulgence” is “vegging” in front of TV from after dinner to bedtime after a hard day at the office!
It IS totally “mindless escapism” (except for the documentaries that you can learn from). As much as we enjoy just relaxing on the couch, we’re equally happy reading a book or playing games. 🙂
My opinion is (as with everything else in life) that moderation is the key, as is having frank and open (age-appropriate) discussions about TV programs.
I haven’t watched much tv for the past few years, and most of that has been documentaries or Master Chef, apart from Downtown Abbey. I agree with you whole heartedly – the romanticising and scripted-ness of the programmes do affect how we see reality, and I have to say, the ones we get from the US are worse than the ones we get from the UK.
You bring up a great point about comparing ourselves to others that often lead to feeling inadequate and unhappy. I think that happens not only because of TV shows but from magazines, social media and other formats, even blogging. It used to be that we could only compare ourselves to the “Jones’s” next door, but now that our world and our private lives have been broadened into the public sphere we have many opportunities to get dragged down by our self image when compared to others. Whenever I catch myself comparing and feeling bad, I try to cut out that activity or filter stuff/people out that caused me to feel that way. For example, I stopped reading fashion magazines a long time ago because it always made me feel ugly, poorly dressed and made me want to go spend money shopping. I also avoid following certain people in social media apps that have negative effects on my self-image. Most of all, I try to tell myself that most of the information we get is an idealized image, that it’s either scripted like you said, or it’s a snapshot into other’s lives that are not representative of the whole. No one’s life is perfect. It can’t be. The only perfection lies in being the best of your authentic self and being a good person everyday, and finding the joy that is your life, your family, your work and your faith no matter how imperfect they may seem.