I wish I could say that my path to adoption was an unselfish, altruistic one, but the truth is my husband and I just wanted to be parents…plain and simple.
The “old fashioned way” wasn’t working and after four years of testing, trying and surgeries to find out what wasn’t working, we had an epiphany at an adoption seminar we attended. The woman who was speaking said her goal “was to be a parent, not to have a baby.”
Those simple words seemed to make time stand still for me. That was my goal, too!! I had put so much pressure on myself to have a biological child, and I felt like such a failure when it just wasn’t happening. It was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
When we brought our seven month old home from Guatemala, we thought he was the most gorgeous, perfect thing we had ever seen! He fit right into our family so perfectly it was as if he had always been with us. I quit my job teaching and stayed home to be with him full time, and as he got a bit older, we joined a few play groups. That was when some of the reality of adoption set in. (more…)
He went gliding down the lane, arms stretched out to the side, a gleeful shout of joy escaping from his cheek-stretching grin, his speed slightly hindered by the training wheels clacking along the cobblestones. “I want to go faster!!’ my son shouted. My neighbor made the proclamation, speaking out loud the words that I have kept muted: “It is time to take off the training wheels! He is ready.”
A little over a year ago, my little man was barely able to handle the bike with training wheels. He was scared to get on the seat, afraid to ride the bike down the lane without me there, holding him up. Tired of the muscle pains that came from long walks spent crouched over, I finally made a decree: “You learn to ride on your own or you simply don’t ride.” This may not be the kindest way to parent, but it definitely worked. (more…)
Photo of the author and her then 5-month old son
I won’t go into the old news that is Time’s controversial “mom enough” mid-May issue. We all know they sold enough copies on that matter.
Instead, I wanted to share some views on attachment parenting and breastfeeding expressed by fellow Filipino moms.
To begin, let me say that I am a babywearing, formerly nursing mom (my son recently weaned after being breastfed for two years and six months). In fact, here’s a photo of me a year and a half ago, when my son was just five months old.
Here in the Philippines, we are not new to the concept of babywearing and breastfeeding.
Velvet Escario‐Roxas, a breastfeeding counselor and representative of Arugaan (ah-roo-ga-an), a non-governmental, WHO-funded organization that conducts breastfeeding training for the Philippine Department of Health, gave a good picture of this when she posted a recent Facebook status update on the fan page of the popular breastfeeding blog, Chronicles of a Nursing Mom:
“Our Pinoy [colloquialism for “Filipino] ancestors have been doing these things since the beginning of time. We call it the Filipino way of living or raising of children. They on the other hand modernized it and called it attachment parenting. Look at the indigenous folks of the mountain provinces. (more…)
No matter which decision you make as a woman or a wife and especially as a Mother, it appears to be met by opposition of some sorts at every turn. SAHM, WAHM, breastfeeding and formula, school or home school, public or private, plastic surgery or au natural, Botox or bangs.
Today’s world is one of speaking up, of giving your opinion or stating your beliefs no matter whether you are talking to a friend or a complete stranger. In years of old, there was more of a reserve. Conversations behind closed doors, disapproval through a look or maybe a hushed whisper.
What a far cry from the world we live in today, where every thought is online, opinions leap out from magazines, and ideas bombard you from every newscast. No peace even to be found at a grocery store checkout line as you are assaulted from every angle.
Celebrities, marital discord, latest fad diets, plastic surgery and enough advice on how to make yourself younger, prettier, more desirable – it makes one want to crawl back into bed and stay there.
On the other hand, this is a time where the world is at our fingertips. Our resources for information are almost limitless. Have a question and you can have it answered in seconds. Need support for education, for marriage, for divorce, infertility, loss – it is there at the touch of a button. Of course this truly depends on your circumstances, it remains contingent on where you live and how you are raised. Here, in the US, where we are currently residing, we have freedom, liberty, opportunity – we can use these available resources for good. (more…)
Another international week this week! Fasten your seatbelts!
On Monday, we will be in Florida with Nicole @ By Word Of Mouth Musings. Nicole talks about the abundance of information in our world today, and how we can use it to teach our kids how to make responsible decisions.
On Tuesday, we are in the Philippines with Martine. Last week we had a great post that discussed the recent Times article about attachment parenting. Martine tells us about how attachment parenting is viewed in the Philippines.
On Wednesday, we’re off to Indonesia to hear from Lady E. You know those gut-wrenching moments when our kids take a tumble? And the smiles that follow when our kids get right up and keep going? Lady E. reflects on the importance of letting kids learn through their own mistakes once in a while.