This week’s Saturday Sidebar Question comes from World Moms Blog writer Multitasking Mumma. She asked our writers,
“How do you explain disabilities and mental illness to your children?”
Check out what some of our World Moms had to say…
Meredith of Nigeria writes:
“I tell my children (ages 4 and 6) that God makes everyone differently with their own special gifts. They see lots of disabilities on the streets of Lagos. I tell them that not everyone can be made the same because the world would be SO boring. In that respect, they accept the people they see. So far, that has worked out pretty well. :)”
Maggie Ellison of South Carolina, USA writes:
“I teach my kids that we’re all different and we have compassion for other people. We have a family member with special issues and they accept him for who he is. I haven’t given them a name for what he has, but they instinctively know he’s different and have asked me why this child doesn’t like to talk. They accept him for who he is, love him and treat him like their other cousins.”
Mamma Simona of South Africa writes:
“I have always been honest with my children but (at the same time) I have taught them to never “judge a book by its cover”! It helps that I could honestly share with them my experiences as a babysitter for a remarkable young lady who was born with cerebral palsy. She was one of the gutsiest and most loving 12 year olds I’ve ever had the good fortune to meet!
I feel so blessed that my 18 and 16 year olds treat everybody as PEOPLE first and foremost. Most people with “different abilities” want to be treated the same as everyone else. More importantly they have the same NEEDS as everyone else – love, respect, recognition for all they CAN do rather than what they can’t.”
Salma of Ontario, Canada writes:
“We have physical examples of disabilities around us, so it’s not hard to explain what it is. Mental illness is a bit harder. I suffered from it for years, and have never known how to explain it to adults, much less children.”
Kirsten Doyle of Ontario, Canada writes:
“We talk about this openly and honestly, and in simple terms that they can understand. My younger son knows his brother has autism. He knows the word and he understands that it makes his brother different. We talk about autism and other disabilities (visible or not) in such a way that there is no stigma attached to it – only acceptance and understanding.”
Tara B. of Washington State, USA writes:
“My six year old loves science and can understand ideas framed with how the human body works and DNA. So with physical and mental disabilities, we talk about which parts of the body are working differently and why, making sure to also discuss how all people are awesome and unique.”
Maman Aya of New York, USA writes:
“One of the teachers in my son’s school has only one hand. When we talked about it I explained that sometimes people are sick, so they need to have parts amputated, sometimes they are just born like this (such as this teacher). My son just accepts it as a fact (and even likes the way this teacher claps, and tries to imitate it – as a form of flattery… Not making fun of it). So far he has accepted these conversations. I think that as long as I am honest, there will be no surprises later on which can inadvertently cause some prejudices.”
Multitasking Mumma of Ontario, Canada writes:
“My daughter is still very young but has started to ask about wheelchairs. I have explained that they are to assist those with a disability to get around just like her. Also because I have bipolar I am trying to raise her to be empathetic to others and invisible struggles.”
Eva Fannon of Washington State, USA writes:
“This has recently hit home, as we’ve been coping with a family member’s Alzheimer’s that has suddenly progressed quite rapidly. It’s been interesting to try to explain the disease and its effects in a way that will make sense to a 5 year old. Our approach has been to have an honest and open discussion about it and answer any questions that come up along the way.
And the most important part? I love how Mamma Simona put it….. “More importantly they have the same NEEDS as everyone else – love, respect, recognition for all they CAN do rather than what they can’t.” :)”
What about you…have you been getting questions from your child(ren) about people with disabilities and/or mental illness? How have you handled them?
And do you have a question you would like to pose to our WMB writers? If so, email us at wmbsidebareditor@gmail.com to see what they have to say.
Don’t forget to visit us tomorrow to check out the travel itinerary for next week!
– World Moms Blog
Photo credit to WAVA Limited http://www.flickr.com/photos/seemoredomore/4581080213/. This photo has a creative commons attribute license.
I love this post. My dad has Juvenile Macular Degeneration, which means that his vision started deteriorating at age 9 and now he is basically blind. Which means he also can’t make eye-contact. So we grew up with great understanding of disabilities.
In playschool, I had a friend with a deformed hand. His name was Lou*, but there were two Lou’s in my class, so at home I always referred to him as “Lou with the little hand” – not with evil intentions. One day my dad looked at me and said, “what do you like about Lou?” and I listed all sorts of things, like how he could read already. So my dad said, “Tomorrow you ask him what his surname is.” It was a valuable lesson.
Kudos to all the moms who teach their children about human worth!
We haven’t had enough conversations about this topic yet. I am motivated by your responses. The world has great moms guiding our children!!!
Jen 🙂
We are blessed with two very healthy and happy boys, so our experience comes from other family members and the public around us. One of our cousins was born very prematurely at just 24 weeks. Aidan had a host of health issues stemming from his all-too-early arrival in this world. But he’s a fighter and a survivor and lives bravely with Spina Bifida and its complications. Now, at the age of five, he JUST learned to walk after years in braces, standers, therapy sessions and countless hours of hard work from his devoted parents. He truly is a “miracle child”. Not only that, but he is one of the happiest kids I have ever met! 🙂
When visiting him in South Georgia a couple of years ago, my husband and I wanted to prepare our kids for seeing Aidan. We told them that he cannot run around like they could, but still loves to play, especially with trains, cars and anything Elmo! So my boys hugged him hello and took turns (which was not pre-planned by them at all!) driving cars aroudn the floor where Aidan could lay and play. They brought him things and watched an Elmo video and did things they do with all their friends and other cousins: they were kids!
At our local Wal-mart there is a greeter that hs no arms and no legs and sits in a wheelchair near the exit (so I guess he’s technically not a “greeter”!). When we got out into the parking lot to load our purchases, our oldest asked us, “Why doesn’t that man have any arms or legs?” At first, I was So relieved that he asked us out there and didn’t blurt it out in front of the Wal-mart employee. We explained that some people are born without arms or legs, or in this case both, that sometimes people get really sick and this can happen. But we stressed that God makes everyone different so that we are our own person, not like anyone else. Then I told our son that next time we’re in Wal-mart that we’ll ask the man.
This may have seemed crazy, but a friend with a disabled Mom told me that her Mom preferred people ask why she had only one eye (diabetes) instead of staring or saying things when they THOUGHT they were out of earshot. So a week or so later we returned to Wal-mart but this man wasn’t there. When we encountered him again about a month later, I went up to him near the exit and said to him, “My son wanted to ask you something about your ability. Is that ok?” He said, “sure. what’s the question, fella?” and my oldest proceeded to ask, “Why don’t you have any arms or legs?” The man said he was born that way and that’s the only way he knows. He also told us that he was so glad we asked instead of just wondering or staring.
You know what blew my mind was about four or five months later, I saw him getting out of the driver side of a car. He hopped down out of his SUV, grabbed his wheelchair, got into it and rolled into work. I always KNEW that people with disabilities (or differently-abled folks) adapted to their situation, but this really took my breath away and made me so proud that he had gained his independence. My kids now wave to this kind man everytime we see him in Wal-mart and he always gives my boys extra stickers. 🙂
Actually i can only say, that i am acting as normal with disabled people as i can. I have a son in the age of 2. If we meet people with handicap i try to explain as good as i can. Questions of my son will follow in 1 or 2 years. I am nosey what future will bring.