Today, I am going to share the story of how my son came into this world.
Warning: this is an ultra long post, so please make your self comfortable, curl up with a tea or a drink, and read on.
Ahem, one more thing – the post below may get quite graphic, so please read at your own discretion.
Okay, now those still with me, please continue.
As I entered my 9th month of pregnancy, I went for the routine check-up, which were now weekly. The doctor found that the baby was underweight, and that I had some serious feeding to do.
To speed up the process, the doc also prescribed some medicines that were to be taken intravenously, kind of like a glucose drip, over a period of 6 hours every three days. This was in addition to all the feeding frenzy going on at home. I was expected to be in bed at all times, staring at the ceiling or sleeping, except if I wanted to use the bathroom.
I was getting agitated about the delivery, with a feeling of impending dread. How I longed for those carefree days when I no longer had to carry a football protruding from my belly!
When I was in office (and even at home), I had heard other mothers express the same feeling: “When the kid is inside you, you just want it to come outside as soon as possible. When the baby is finally outside and has to be taken care of, you wistfully start wishing it were back in your belly, and you didn’t have to worry about feeding schedules!”
I suppose I was in the phase where I just wanted the baby to come out as soon as possible. My due date was March 5th, and I was hoping that I would have him in my arms during the last week of February, and have some free space in my belly.
We went into the hospital on Feb 25th – the last date for my routine weekly checkup. The doctor pronounced that the baby had gained enough weight and was quite ready to come out.
As I was admitted, the doctor discovered that I had contracted a vicious cough – a definite no-no for a woman ready to deliver a baby. The doc started feeding me all kinds of antibiotics, trying to keep the cough at bay. My blood pressure had begun to shoot up – probably because I had begun feeling nervous about the birth process.
On the appointed day, March 1st, the doctor had asked that I be ready early in the morning, as the nurses would be coming by at 4:30am to take me into the delivery room. I walked in with the nurse early in the morning. The labour room consisted of a row of beds (like a dormitory), each having a curtain hung around it. When I walked in, all the beds were deserted except for one at the end. There was a woman there, in the throes of the pain, and she was moaning quietly every few minutes. The nurse said, “She has been there since 8 last night.” Imagine, eight hours of labour and she still wasn’t close to delivering.
The nurse handed me a dark green hospital gown and asked me to change. After changing, the nurse started shaving the pubic area and then gave me an enema. I had read of enemas, but this was the first time I got to experience one. It was NOT a pleasant experience. Since I had been told that the enema would make me want to use the bathroom pretty quickly, I was waiting for some pressure to build up. I suppose I didn’t wait long enough, as you will soon see. I went to the bathroom, did the deed, and came back to my bed. Soon the nurse gave me 2 to 3 injections, all testers for allergies, and then gave me the real stuff. By now, I was quite used to being poked by needles. These didn’t ruffle me at all. In view of the greater pain that was yet to come, I could swat these away like mosquito bites.
I just laid there until seven, with none of the dreaded labour pains. In the meantime, the labour room was getting more active. By now, almost all the beds were occupied by women, each in differing stages of the pain. The woman I had seen in the morning had already delivered her baby. Another one was all prepped for a normal delivery, but was then told that she had to have a C-section due to the odd position of the baby. Most had the curtains for more privacy, considering the semi-private gown they all wore.
After seven, there was a sudden flurry of activity as the doctor suddenly rushed in, followed by a bevy of nurses, all heading towards a particular mother-to-be. After examining her, the doctor said, “Thank God! When I got the call, I just rushed from home. We still have time.” It seemed some of the staff in the Labour Ward grew a little anxious after checking her, and immediately called the doctor.
The doctor was a lady of 75 years. She was thin and strong, and had a slight quiver in her speech. She was one of the most respected doctors in the area, and had the reputation of delivering the baby safely in every case she attended. This has to be stressed, because there were often cases where the attending doctor failed to catch the baby when it was being delivered, or accidentally dropped the baby. So, now that she was there, she decided to check up on all her patients, starting with me. She checked me, the baby’s position, and then instructed the nurse to give me another injection.
This was an injection to speed up the labor process. Within half an hour of being injected, I started getting a hint of what was to come. I began to feel slight twinges, which slowly progressed to something more. All I had to hold on to were the cold rails of the bedstead. The rule was that no one was allowed into the hospital, neither the husband, nor the woman’s mother. That was one time I wished with all my heart for a hand to hold, especially when the pain rolled in.
My friends, who had already been through the birthing ordeal, had told me that there would be a nurse to rub your legs or your stomach, and to just be with you. But there was no one here – it was like Coleridge’s poem ‘The Rime of the Ancient Mariner’ –
Water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink.
I was surrounded by people, but not one who cared enough to even bother looking this way or holding my hand.
Soon, I knew what was meant by labour pain. Just like everyone had told me, when the pain came, I forgot everything and just wanted to die. When it stopped, it was like there never was any pain. Soon I was rolling about the bed (as much as a fully pregnant woman can roll) in pain. And, wonder of wonders, I felt like I had to poo.
I did it in full view of everyone who was there. Little did I know that this was something that should never happen, and was a very serious occurrence. I ejected everything (except the baby) in a stream of brown water, and simply didn’t care what happened. I just wanted everything to end. I could also feel my waters breaking, and I was lying in a pool of water.
Now the nurses took notice. They came running towards me, pulled me up, and walked me into the inner sanctum – the place where the actual delivery happened. The doctor also came, and was scolding the nurses for not having given me my enema correctly (now you see what I meant about the enema earlier). They strapped me up in a weird chair/bed contraption. I started pushing. By now, I was beyond every pain. I didn’t even care if I died. I.just.wanted.it.over.period.
Once on the bed thing, they started firing out instructions to push and breathe and so on. Half the time, I couldn’t even understand what they were saying, or rather I heard, but my brain didn’t register it. I still wonder why I was like that. My friends said that they were very aware of absolutely everything that was happening during the labour. Here I was, aware of nothing except the overwhelming pain engulfing me. I don’t even remember hearing the baby cry. After the baby was born, the pain had gone, but I was numb down there. The doctor and nurses were now pressing down on my stomach to get the placenta out, and I could feel a gooey mass coming out. The doctor started stitching me up, as I had quite extensive tearing.
What came next is still too horrible for to contemplate. After the birth and the stitches, I was expecting to get to go back to my room and see my baby. But guess what? I was forced out of the chair, and made to walk all the way to the next room where they cleaned me out standing up. Why? Because there was another woman waiting for her turn to deliver. It was like a bloody assembly line process – hop up, deliver, hop down, off you go.
They gave me fresh clothes (supplied by my mother) and asked me to go take a bath. All this with fresh stitches all over my nether regions. I could hardly shuffle, much less walk!
I hated that hospital and all its people. Of course, I didn’t know then if this was the way labour rooms always worked, so unfeeling and harsh. But I’d had it with that particular hospital. The nurses inside were crude and uncaring – I suppose they need bribes to just do their jobs properly. Or maybe, they are just hardened seeing the same things every day. The doctor did her job and was off, but since the patient is stuck with nurses most of the time, they could have done better. Their labour room was the ultimate slap in the face. I wonder what they would have done if they had to deliver 2 women at the same time. I suppose one of the mothers would lose the baby while the hospital staff contemplated their next move.
I do know that I will never use this hospital if I ever have another child. I suppose I’d be forced to if it was my only option, but I hope it never comes to that.
What was your birth experience like? How do you feel you were treated by the hospital staff?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog from our writer and mother to one lovely and soundly sleeping son in Garden City India, Fire Crystals.
Photo credit to Daquella manera. It has a Flickr Creative Commons attribution license.
Good grief. You did have an ordeal, didn’t you? I had a reasonably natural birth the first time around: my first post here was *that* story, and then two long labours followed by emergency c-sections. Needless to say, I was very pleased to have my lovely babies to cuddle!
Good grief. You did have an ordeal, didn’t you? I had a reasonably natural birth the first time around: my first post here was *that* story, and then two long labours followed by emergency c-sections. Needless to say, I was very pleased to have my lovely babies to cuddle!
I can’t believe you were alone through it all! My husband was with me all the time! And can I say that I think you are very brave for sharing – I am expecting my second child in 3 months, and I have been through several conversations with my gp and the hospital about my previous birth experience and how to make it better this time around. Nothing went according to plan but at least I had my husband there holding my hand through it all – and allthough I wasn’t allowed to come in to the hospital for a while (since my contractions were irregular, the hospital didn’t think I was ready to come in) – so I didn’t get there until it was too late for epidural (I am so having epidural next time!) – by the time I did come in I had a private room through the whole ordeal and had a couple of hours to recover afterwards before being sent back to the ward.
This is the first time I am sharing this story with anyone – other than my husband. I still wish I could rewind my life and cut out that experience, and paste a nicer birthing in its place.
I am glad you had someone with you – to be with you, and hold and comfort you – a luxury in most hospitals in India. Here they (most hospitals) allow no one into the Delivery rooms except the patient.
I can’t believe you were alone through it all! My husband was with me all the time! And can I say that I think you are very brave for sharing – I am expecting my second child in 3 months, and I have been through several conversations with my gp and the hospital about my previous birth experience and how to make it better this time around. Nothing went according to plan but at least I had my husband there holding my hand through it all – and allthough I wasn’t allowed to come in to the hospital for a while (since my contractions were irregular, the hospital didn’t think I was ready to come in) – so I didn’t get there until it was too late for epidural (I am so having epidural next time!) – by the time I did come in I had a private room through the whole ordeal and had a couple of hours to recover afterwards before being sent back to the ward.
This is the first time I am sharing this story with anyone – other than my husband. I still wish I could rewind my life and cut out that experience, and paste a nicer birthing in its place.
I am glad you had someone with you – to be with you, and hold and comfort you – a luxury in most hospitals in India. Here they (most hospitals) allow no one into the Delivery rooms except the patient.
I know everyone says once you see your baby you forget the pain but I think you will remember this pain for a long time!! I am so sorry this was such a tough experience. I do hope that your time with your growing boy will sweeten the memories!
Oh Yes! So true – I had heard of that too, but I don’t think I cared whether I had a baby or not during that ordeal. And seeing the baby didn’t make me feel any more warm towards him – at that time.
I know everyone says once you see your baby you forget the pain but I think you will remember this pain for a long time!! I am so sorry this was such a tough experience. I do hope that your time with your growing boy will sweeten the memories!
Oh Yes! So true – I had heard of that too, but I don’t think I cared whether I had a baby or not during that ordeal. And seeing the baby didn’t make me feel any more warm towards him – at that time.
It is so difficult to be alone through it all. 🙁 I so wish you could have had a family member with you. Is there a neonatal care at the hospital for babies who need help after birth? What is that process like, do you know?
Is this birthing process typical in India?
I had my husband by my side for both of my births, and I couldn’t imagine doing it without him!
Fire Crystals — I think you should use your experience and champion maternal health reform in that hospital for the mothers that will deliver in the future!!
Jen 🙂
Agreed, Jennifer. What a great call to action, and perfect opportunity to transform the birthing stories for women in this hospital and others like it.
Yes, there is a neo-natal care, though I confess I don’t know much about it.
I don’ think this process is typical in India, though the ill-famed Government hospitals are worse than what I had.
You know – even if I were to champion such a cause in that hospital, most wouldn’t care, since they don;t know any better about hospitals. They think doctors are gods, and nurses are demi-gods, and anything they utter is the Bible.
It is so difficult to be alone through it all. 🙁 I so wish you could have had a family member with you. Is there a neonatal care at the hospital for babies who need help after birth? What is that process like, do you know?
Is this birthing process typical in India?
I had my husband by my side for both of my births, and I couldn’t imagine doing it without him!
Fire Crystals — I think you should use your experience and champion maternal health reform in that hospital for the mothers that will deliver in the future!!
Jen 🙂
Agreed, Jennifer. What a great call to action, and perfect opportunity to transform the birthing stories for women in this hospital and others like it.
Yes, there is a neo-natal care, though I confess I don’t know much about it.
I don’ think this process is typical in India, though the ill-famed Government hospitals are worse than what I had.
You know – even if I were to champion such a cause in that hospital, most wouldn’t care, since they don;t know any better about hospitals. They think doctors are gods, and nurses are demi-gods, and anything they utter is the Bible.
All I can say is OUCH!! 🙁
There I was thinking that nearly dying on the operating table after my first C-section was bad. Compared to you I had it easy! That said, I DID change doctor and hospital for my second delivery and number 2 was wonderful!
I pray that you find yourself in caring hands next time!
I think a C-Section would have been better – atleast I would have been unconscious through it all. Got to say, that experience has soured me on the idea of having another kid.
All I can say is OUCH!! 🙁
There I was thinking that nearly dying on the operating table after my first C-section was bad. Compared to you I had it easy! That said, I DID change doctor and hospital for my second delivery and number 2 was wonderful!
I pray that you find yourself in caring hands next time!
I think a C-Section would have been better – atleast I would have been unconscious through it all. Got to say, that experience has soured me on the idea of having another kid.
Oh. My. Goodness. I thought my delivery was rough!!!!! In my mind I was sending you love and support, back to the past of that delivery room. Your story makes me want to fly to that hospital and hold the hand of all the moms who have to go through that. How long ago was this?
Thank you Erin….I really wish there was someone going around to help all those mothers there. This happened about 2 years ago.
Oh. My. Goodness. I thought my delivery was rough!!!!! In my mind I was sending you love and support, back to the past of that delivery room. Your story makes me want to fly to that hospital and hold the hand of all the moms who have to go through that. How long ago was this?
Thank you Erin….I really wish there was someone going around to help all those mothers there. This happened about 2 years ago.
Wow. That is quite shocking. Here in South Africa we have some horrid birthing stories too, but we keep the mother in her bed where she gave birth as long as is necessary. We also don’t shave the moms-to-be, although they can do so if they wish.
I’m sorry you had such a horrible experience. I’ll be doing an elective in India at the end of the year and I’ll do my best not to let such event recur.
You mean you are coming to India – sorry, what is an elective? You have no idea how bad the government-run hospitals are here in India. You know, if a mother-to-be cries out because of the pain, the nurse actually shouts at her (I am translating here ) – ” Stop crying! Who asked you to become pregnant in the first place?!!!!! This is all part of being a woman.” Imagine being told this in the crudest possible way!
An elective is basically an opportunity for med students to go study/practise medicine in any part of the world for four weeks.
Government hospitals are pretty horrid here in South Africa too, but I’ve heard they’re bad in India also.
When I was catching babies last year, a nurse shouted at a mother, “Well it’s too late to object now!”
It’s the worst thing, and because I’m just a student I couldn’t really reprimand the nurse.
Here in Brazil a famous phrase is “Didn’t it feel good to make the baby? Now stop screaming!”
Wow. That is quite shocking. Here in South Africa we have some horrid birthing stories too, but we keep the mother in her bed where she gave birth as long as is necessary. We also don’t shave the moms-to-be, although they can do so if they wish.
I’m sorry you had such a horrible experience. I’ll be doing an elective in India at the end of the year and I’ll do my best not to let such event recur.
You mean you are coming to India – sorry, what is an elective? You have no idea how bad the government-run hospitals are here in India. You know, if a mother-to-be cries out because of the pain, the nurse actually shouts at her (I am translating here ) – ” Stop crying! Who asked you to become pregnant in the first place?!!!!! This is all part of being a woman.” Imagine being told this in the crudest possible way!
An elective is basically an opportunity for med students to go study/practise medicine in any part of the world for four weeks.
Government hospitals are pretty horrid here in South Africa too, but I’ve heard they’re bad in India also.
When I was catching babies last year, a nurse shouted at a mother, “Well it’s too late to object now!”
It’s the worst thing, and because I’m just a student I couldn’t really reprimand the nurse.
Here in Brazil a famous phrase is “Didn’t it feel good to make the baby? Now stop screaming!”
In the States they used to shave the pubic area and give enemas but now they don’t. They have a special sheet to catch everything that comes out which is not baby.
I had three complicated pregnancies for different reasons, but blessedly I had epidurals for all three. I still felt the contractions because I didn’t get them right away, but it took an edge off the worst of it.
Wow! That IS good. I am sure there are hospitals in India that follow things like this, but I haven’t heard of any. We are still stuck in the Dark Ages for so many things.
In the States they used to shave the pubic area and give enemas but now they don’t. They have a special sheet to catch everything that comes out which is not baby.
I had three complicated pregnancies for different reasons, but blessedly I had epidurals for all three. I still felt the contractions because I didn’t get them right away, but it took an edge off the worst of it.
Wow! That IS good. I am sure there are hospitals in India that follow things like this, but I haven’t heard of any. We are still stuck in the Dark Ages for so many things.
I am so happy that you and your boy are ok, and my heart goes out to you for all you went through. What a strong, capable woman you are!
Both of my births were done in a US hospital with great staff. I cannot complain. There is a clinical angle that comes with hospital births here in the US, but I knew I wanted to go that route versus a midwife or homebirth. Lots to think on.
I am so happy that you and your boy are ok, and my heart goes out to you for all you went through. What a strong, capable woman you are!
Both of my births were done in a US hospital with great staff. I cannot complain. There is a clinical angle that comes with hospital births here in the US, but I knew I wanted to go that route versus a midwife or homebirth. Lots to think on.
Sorry for what you went through, it shouldn’t happen that way and it’s far too common all around the world. http://www.midson.org.np/ http://www.apskendra.org/ I heard about these efforts in Nepal (bordering India), I bet there are some places like this in India too. The practices you described in regards to shaving and enemas are considered outdated now (there’s no evidence to support doing that). There is a lot to improve on here in the US too… Elective C-sections before the due date that put the baby at risk (especially before 39 weeks), inductions when the mother clearly isn’t ready (look up Bishop scores) which sets her on the road to needing a C-section, not letting the baby stay with its mother immediately following birth, not allowing the mother to eat during labor, giving mothers free formula when breastmilk is proven to be the best for the baby. These are all things that scientific studies have proven, but hospitals insist on sticking with status quo due to what is convenient for the doctor’s schedules. It’s sad. But at least they’re now allowing family members to stay for delivery.
Sorry for what you went through, it shouldn’t happen that way and it’s far too common all around the world. http://www.midson.org.np/ http://www.apskendra.org/ I heard about these efforts in Nepal (bordering India), I bet there are some places like this in India too. The practices you described in regards to shaving and enemas are considered outdated now (there’s no evidence to support doing that). There is a lot to improve on here in the US too… Elective C-sections before the due date that put the baby at risk (especially before 39 weeks), inductions when the mother clearly isn’t ready (look up Bishop scores) which sets her on the road to needing a C-section, not letting the baby stay with its mother immediately following birth, not allowing the mother to eat during labor, giving mothers free formula when breastmilk is proven to be the best for the baby. These are all things that scientific studies have proven, but hospitals insist on sticking with status quo due to what is convenient for the doctor’s schedules. It’s sad. But at least they’re now allowing family members to stay for delivery.
What you described unfortunately still happens here too, although there is a growing movement for better birthing practices. Also, elective (or imposed) c-section rates are extremely high (more than 80% in private hospitals, and 50% overall). One of my greatest fears during my two pregnancies was to end up in the hospital. My first son was an emergency c-section after trying a home birth, but my second was a beautfiful home birth, in the tub and virtually painless.
What you described unfortunately still happens here too, although there is a growing movement for better birthing practices. Also, elective (or imposed) c-section rates are extremely high (more than 80% in private hospitals, and 50% overall). One of my greatest fears during my two pregnancies was to end up in the hospital. My first son was an emergency c-section after trying a home birth, but my second was a beautfiful home birth, in the tub and virtually painless.
I could relate your exp. completely as I had almost the same experience here in Ernakulam, Kerala….rt frm baby underweight or small( as i didnt have a big belly), to the poking needles, to the hospital clothes, the enema but the sad part is that i didnt have a natural birth, i had a C section. The worst part of wat i had to endure was the constant examinations /PVs that different doctors and nurses did on me(image 5 to 6 people whom you dont know poke you down there up to ur gut). The PVs done by my doctor was the worst and in the last one she did she just pulled me from inside and broke the water with a scissor and i remember screaming with all my life. The nurse who was holding my legs tight at tat point started scolding me and with tat the doctor declared “you will not be able to endure the pain go for an epidural”. After the epidural i didnt dilate any further and with no movement of baby i had to go for a Csection. It a was found that the umbilical cord was wound twice around my babys neck hence the C section but i still feel i could have had a natural birth had i waited for a few more days before being admitted 🙁