From the moment he was born, my son and my husband immediately “clicked”. It was my husband who was able to calm him down when he had colic, and it was my husband who tamed the “terrible twos”. As he grew older, it was my husband who not only understood, but shared, his fascination with (and enjoyment of) computers and video games. Now my son is 19 years old and he works with his dad as a Website Developer. Me … I’m barely able to work the TV remote control!
Don’t misunderstand me; I adore my son and I’m incredibly proud of him. I just don’t understand him a lot of the time!
I guess I’d be feeling pretty left out if it wasn’t for the fact that I was blessed with a daughter too! From the second her eyes locked onto mine in the O.R. (both my children were delivered by emergency C-sections), we just understood each other. Taking care of her as a baby was a breeze because, this time, I seemed to just know what she needed. She’s now an amazing 16-year-old whom I’m incredibly proud of.
This got me thinking about the stereotype that mothers are closer to their sons than their daughters (and vice-versa for fathers). Each one of us is an individual and we “connect” in different ways with other individuals. I actually don’t even think that it’s a “gender” thing as much as an “interpersonal relationship” thing.
What I have learned from my children is not to assume anything! Just because you think you know how things are “supposed” to be, it doesn’t mean that is how they will be. Just because a particular parenting technique worked with one of your children, it does not mean that it will work with your next child! In other words, you’ll save yourself a lot of heartache if you just focus on each one of your children as an individual and never compare them to each other or anybody else!
What did you know before your children taught you differently? Although we love all our children equally, do you get on better with one than with another?
Mamma Simona is the proud mother of 2 awesome teens and also shares her Cape Town home with a terrific husband, 2 cats and 2 dogs. She usually writes original posts for World Moms Blog and is grateful to The Alchemist for this opportunity to guest post on her blog too.
Photo credit to Lisa Sexton. This photo has a Flickr Creative Commons attribution license.