I know that the common saying is “Mommy’s boy and Daddy’s girl” … but in my home it’s the other way around … even though all 4 of us are “tight”!
From the moment he was born, my son and my husband immediately “clicked”. It was my husband who was able to calm him down when he had colic, and it was my husband who tamed the “terrible twos”. As he grew older, it was my husband who not only understood, but shared, his fascination with (and enjoyment of) computers and video games. Now my son is 19 years old and he works with his dad as a Website Developer. Me … I’m barely able to work the TV remote control!
Don’t misunderstand me; I adore my son and I’m incredibly proud of him. I just don’t understand him a lot of the time!
I guess I’d be feeling pretty left out if it wasn’t for the fact that I was blessed with a daughter too! From the second her eyes locked onto mine in the O.R. (both my children were delivered by emergency C-sections), we just understood each other. Taking care of her as a baby was a breeze because, this time, I seemed to just know what she needed. She’s now an amazing 16-year-old whom I’m incredibly proud of.
This got me thinking about the stereotype that mothers are closer to their sons than their daughters (and vice-versa for fathers). Each one of us is an individual and we “connect” in different ways with other individuals. I actually don’t even think that it’s a “gender” thing as much as an “interpersonal relationship” thing.
What I have learned from my children is not to assume anything! Just because you think you know how things are “supposed” to be, it doesn’t mean that is how they will be. Just because a particular parenting technique worked with one of your children, it does not mean that it will work with your next child! In other words, you’ll save yourself a lot of heartache if you just focus on each one of your children as an individual and never compare them to each other or anybody else!
Viva Diversity!!
What did you know before your children taught you differently? Although we love all our children equally, do you get on better with one than with another?
Mamma Simona is the proud mother of 2 awesome teens and also shares her Cape Town home with a terrific husband, 2 cats and 2 dogs. She usually writes original posts for World Moms Blog and is grateful to The Alchemist for this opportunity to guest post on her blog too.
Photo credit to Lisa Sexton. This photo has a Flickr Creative Commons attribution license.
My older son clicked with my husband as soon as he was born. Two years later daddy is his go to person and they always have a blast together. My baby boy is a mama’s boy. He will be happy as long as I’m with him and loves hanging out with me!
Thank you for proving my hypothesis … “it isn’t a gender thing it’s an interpersonal relationship thing” 🙂
My older son clicked with my husband as soon as he was born. Two years later daddy is his go to person and they always have a blast together. My baby boy is a mama’s boy. He will be happy as long as I’m with him and loves hanging out with me!
Thank you for proving my hypothesis … “it isn’t a gender thing it’s an interpersonal relationship thing” 🙂
It’s definitely not a gender thing. I was fortunate to grow up with two awesome parents, but I always had a very special bond with my dad. When it comes to my own kids, my younger son is definitely “Dad’s boy”, while I have something special with my older son. Kids with autism tend to spend a lot of time in their own world, but from time to time, my older son gives me a glimpse into his soul. I always feel so privileged at those moments.
I believe that kids with autism have particularly beautiful and sensitive souls. I can imagine that those rare moments of “sharing” are unbelievably precious and help make the “hard stuff” easier to bear. <3
It’s definitely not a gender thing. I was fortunate to grow up with two awesome parents, but I always had a very special bond with my dad. When it comes to my own kids, my younger son is definitely “Dad’s boy”, while I have something special with my older son. Kids with autism tend to spend a lot of time in their own world, but from time to time, my older son gives me a glimpse into his soul. I always feel so privileged at those moments.
I believe that kids with autism have particularly beautiful and sensitive souls. I can imagine that those rare moments of “sharing” are unbelievably precious and help make the “hard stuff” easier to bear. <3
I think I have an equal bond with both my parents. I think there were times in my life that I may have been closer with one than the other and vice versa, but now I’d say it feels equal.
I agree with you — I think it has to do more with personalities then differences in gender.
Having kids taught me how much you can accomplish in a day. I never worked so hard in my life, and now I think I’m capable of doing more because just when you think you can’t possibly do anymore the kids need dinner or baths or to be read to or someone to stay up with them when they’re sick and we parents find these super powers that we didn’t know we had to get the job done!
Interesting post, Simona!
Jen 🙂
I think I have an equal bond with both my parents. I think there were times in my life that I may have been closer with one than the other and vice versa, but now I’d say it feels equal.
I agree with you — I think it has to do more with personalities then differences in gender.
Having kids taught me how much you can accomplish in a day. I never worked so hard in my life, and now I think I’m capable of doing more because just when you think you can’t possibly do anymore the kids need dinner or baths or to be read to or someone to stay up with them when they’re sick and we parents find these super powers that we didn’t know we had to get the job done!
Interesting post, Simona!
Jen 🙂
My daughter and I were definitely cut from the same cloth, which is probably why she makes me cuckoo sometimes (always busy, always talking, very alpha female). When my son was born, I was sure there never was a finer specimen alive. I became convinced that any parent who eve claimed to love her children equally was either a liar or tapped into a parenting drug I didn’t have a prescription for. So strong was my favoritism for my son that I thought it might be hard to hide it. Then my husband, who’s younger but wiser, told me to wait, our son would surely enter a trying phase and our daughter would become the angel-child instead. Sure enough, at 3 & 6 the tables have turned. My son ish has developed an obstinate, fussy, stubborn side and my daughter has evolved into a daring, positive, immaginative child whom I love to be around (except when I’m feeling tired and quiet of course).
My daughter and I were definitely cut from the same cloth, which is probably why she makes me cuckoo sometimes (always busy, always talking, very alpha female). When my son was born, I was sure there never was a finer specimen alive. I became convinced that any parent who eve claimed to love her children equally was either a liar or tapped into a parenting drug I didn’t have a prescription for. So strong was my favoritism for my son that I thought it might be hard to hide it. Then my husband, who’s younger but wiser, told me to wait, our son would surely enter a trying phase and our daughter would become the angel-child instead. Sure enough, at 3 & 6 the tables have turned. My son ish has developed an obstinate, fussy, stubborn side and my daughter has evolved into a daring, positive, immaginative child whom I love to be around (except when I’m feeling tired and quiet of course).