There’s a coffee shop next to my workplace. A mom group meets up there, and when they are in session, I have to navigate an obstacle course of strollers.
Strollers, strollers, everywhere, and if you look closely you might spot the ten pound baby nestled at the heart of each.
Before I had a baby, I always wondered why women need something the size of a shopping cart to transport a bundle the size of a loaf of bread.
Even more baffling to me were the women who choose to lug their babies around by a car seat handle. When I was in grade eleven, I was given an eight pound “baby think-it-over”, which required tending through day and night. The baby (who I dubbed Jan Sebastian and grew deeply attached to, to the dismay of my Family Studies instructor) also came with a plastic car seat.
Tucked in my arms, Jan Sebastian didn’t weigh much and was easy enough to transport. But when I tried to carry him in that plastic seat, my shoulder started to ache.
It made me wonder what I was missing – why do so many women subject themselves to this?
When I got pregnant, I started looking into other ways to transport infants. I found studies claiming that babies that are carried cry less and are less likely to suffer from “flat head syndrome”. That really made me decide to “babywear”.
My books and the internet also told me that in many parts of the world, this is the norm, rather than strollers. In fact, attempts to introduce strollers to Kenya have gone very poorly.
But in Canada, as in much of the Westernized world, car seats and strollers are central in the parenting culture. It’s right up there with the diaper bag and the crib for baby necessities. So a lot of people tried to explain to me that babywearing might be great for attachment and such but I’d still want to have that stroller, and a portable infant seat as well, for the convenience of it.
How many of us swore “I’ll never do that when I’M a parent” only to find themselves eating their words a few years down the road?
So I listened to the advice of experienced mothers who tried to explain the near-necessity of strollers and portable car seats.
“Infant seats are so handy for when you go to restaurants. Where would you put the baby when you wanted to sit down and eat?”
“Strollers are handy when you’re shopping, because you can put the diaper bag and your shopping bags in it, too.”
“Babies fall asleep in the car. You’d have to wake him up to put him in a carrier all the time, and trust me, you will VALUE your baby’s sleep.”
The arguments swayed me. I gratefully accepted a hand-me-down stroller and a hand-me-down infant seat. I also got a Sleepy Wrap from a friend. This way, I was able to try everything to see what worked for me.
Well, I discovered that everyone was at least partially right.
The baby car seat that snaps in and out WAS handy when we wanted to bring Owl without waking him…
…but since he mostly screamed in the car, that was rare.
Finding a place to put the baby would have definitely been an issue in restaurants…
…but since he mostly just screamed all the time unless he was tucked in his Sleepy Wrap, I just got used to dripping food on my baby’s head.
Carrying bags AND a baby was awkward at times…
…but not as awkward as that stroller.
When you’re a mother, it all comes down to convenience.
Ultimately, I just found that popping my baby in and out of a carrier was so much easier than using a stroller or toting a car seat.
I did become a babywearer, not because of flat-head syndrome or desire to stimulate my attachment to my child but because of convenience. I took to calling my carrier “Baby Bluetooth” because it made my baby hands-free.
Funny enough, I did find the portable infant seat useful, even if it didn’t leave the car very often. On those rare occasions when he did fall asleep on the way home, it was invaluable. I would get one again, with my next child.
But a stroller? No way.
I gave away the stroller after trying it once and getting thoroughly fed up. My hands weren’t free, because they were pushing the stroller. Going up hills was a pain in the butt, because the stroller was heavier than the baby alone. Going around corners in small shops? Forget about it.
So inconvenient.
Owl is a toddler now and prefers to walk. My husband and I did pick up a cheap umbrella stroller, and have attempted to use it on occasion but even now that he weighs nearly 23 pounds, I still find it easier to carry him. I use an Ergo, which is sturdier for an older child, and it’s still a matter of convenience.
Two of my friends have had babies since I had my Owl. The Farm Fairy made her own slings and uses her Ergo often. The other is a regular user of car seats and strollers. She has tried several carriers, including my Ergo, and found that it didn’t work for her.
That’s fine – like I said, it’s all about convenience and what works best for you.
But when I see all of those mothers trying to navigate the coffee shop in a stroller traffic jam, I can’t help but wonder where the convenience lies for them.
Are strollers or carriers more normal in your part of the world? Which worked best for you?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog from our baby-wearing mother of one in Canada, Carol @IfByYes.
The photograph used in this post is credited to Kevin Poh. It carries a Flickr Creative Commons attribution license.
Carol (Canada)
Carol from If By Yes has lived in four different Canadian provinces as well as the Caribbean. Now she lives in Vancouver, working a full time job at a vet clinic, training dogs on the side, and raising her son and daughter to be good citizens of the world. Carol is known for wearing inside-out underwear, microwaving yoghurt, killing house plants, over-thinking the mundane, and pointing out grammatical errors in "Twilight". When not trying to wrestle her son down for a nap, Carol loves to read and write. Carol can also be found on her blog, If By Yes, and on Twitter @IfByYesTweets
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It’s been the Ergo carrier for me! It’s probably the best thing I’ve got. We have a Peg Perego stroller but unless I’m out with the husband, I’ve never used it alone as it was too heavy for me. Later, I was stupid enough to buy a lightweight stroller, thinking now that it’s light, I’ll use it. Turned out my boy doesn’t really like being in a stroller and I still found it hard manouvering places, especially going up and down escalators and if it’s the lift, I can almost forget it. People hardly give way to a mom with stroller here. It’s now parked in my storeroom, a constant reminder of the mistake I’ve made.
It’s been the Ergo carrier for me! It’s probably the best thing I’ve got. We have a Peg Perego stroller but unless I’m out with the husband, I’ve never used it alone as it was too heavy for me. Later, I was stupid enough to buy a lightweight stroller, thinking now that it’s light, I’ll use it. Turned out my boy doesn’t really like being in a stroller and I still found it hard manouvering places, especially going up and down escalators and if it’s the lift, I can almost forget it. People hardly give way to a mom with stroller here. It’s now parked in my storeroom, a constant reminder of the mistake I’ve made.
You bring up a great point about something that is done different all over the world. Before I had kids I always wanted to carry my baby wrapped on my back like African women do, and then as a toddler carry them on my back without anything other than my two hands clasped behind me like they do in Asia. Alas, I had twins so babywearing wasn’t really an option, and my babies have always been on the heavy side making it difficult for my petite frame and lack of upper body strength. So I’ve always admired babywearers, especially for going on long hikes. But before the kids even turned two, we started taking the double stroller with us less and less and got them used to walking. Now at 2.5 they are good walkers, still with some carrying in arms needed but not too much (they are over 35lbs!). We don’t bring the stroller along any more, not even for our upcoming travel through airports! Wish us luck that our trial run car-seats-rigged-on-wheelie-luggage will be a success.
You bring up a great point about something that is done different all over the world. Before I had kids I always wanted to carry my baby wrapped on my back like African women do, and then as a toddler carry them on my back without anything other than my two hands clasped behind me like they do in Asia. Alas, I had twins so babywearing wasn’t really an option, and my babies have always been on the heavy side making it difficult for my petite frame and lack of upper body strength. So I’ve always admired babywearers, especially for going on long hikes. But before the kids even turned two, we started taking the double stroller with us less and less and got them used to walking. Now at 2.5 they are good walkers, still with some carrying in arms needed but not too much (they are over 35lbs!). We don’t bring the stroller along any more, not even for our upcoming travel through airports! Wish us luck that our trial run car-seats-rigged-on-wheelie-luggage will be a success.
Here in South Africa, the more “privileged” like using strollers. My parents used a stroller with all three of us, and they found it quite comfortable.
But traditionally, “wearing” the baby is very common here and African mothers tend to carry their babies on their backs. When my mom went back to work, our helps “wore” us all day long (which was a relief to my mom, who was very worried about SIDS).
Having seen the benefits of Kangaroo Mother Care in hospital, I’m pretty certain that a baby wrap will be my choice one day when it comes to babies, but I guess I’ll have a stroller too. They can be convenient, in my opinion.
Here in South Africa, the more “privileged” like using strollers. My parents used a stroller with all three of us, and they found it quite comfortable.
But traditionally, “wearing” the baby is very common here and African mothers tend to carry their babies on their backs. When my mom went back to work, our helps “wore” us all day long (which was a relief to my mom, who was very worried about SIDS).
Having seen the benefits of Kangaroo Mother Care in hospital, I’m pretty certain that a baby wrap will be my choice one day when it comes to babies, but I guess I’ll have a stroller too. They can be convenient, in my opinion.
In S.A. blankets, and / or towels are used as “low tech” alternative to “carriers” – women have carried babies and toddlers on their backs since anyone can remember! 🙂
I was not genetically engineered with a large enough “behind” to comfortably carry my kids like that, though 😛
Truthfully both carriers and strollers are used and, personally, I preferred the carrier.
In S.A. blankets, and / or towels are used as “low tech” alternative to “carriers” – women have carried babies and toddlers on their backs since anyone can remember! 🙂
I was not genetically engineered with a large enough “behind” to comfortably carry my kids like that, though 😛
Truthfully both carriers and strollers are used and, personally, I preferred the carrier.
Strollers are very common in Salem, Ma (USA). Partly, i think this is because it’s a little tourist town, and very friendly to families. The sidewalks are wide, the shops are mostly ramped and easy to get into and turn around in, and the parks just happen to be very walkable. On nice days, there are always hoards of stroller mama’s out walking.
But I also see plenty of baby wearers. Speaking for myself, as soon as my son hit 15 pounds (about 6-7 months), I didn’t want to carry him in the sling any longer. It was easier to slip him into a snowsuit in the winter and put him into a stroller too. Also, it was rare we went anywhere less than 5 blocks when we were walking.
Perhaps if I lived anywhere less walkable, I wouldn’t want to use the stroller.
As to restaurants, he usually just sat in my lap anyway. 🙂
-Beth
Strollers are very common in Salem, Ma (USA). Partly, i think this is because it’s a little tourist town, and very friendly to families. The sidewalks are wide, the shops are mostly ramped and easy to get into and turn around in, and the parks just happen to be very walkable. On nice days, there are always hoards of stroller mama’s out walking.
But I also see plenty of baby wearers. Speaking for myself, as soon as my son hit 15 pounds (about 6-7 months), I didn’t want to carry him in the sling any longer. It was easier to slip him into a snowsuit in the winter and put him into a stroller too. Also, it was rare we went anywhere less than 5 blocks when we were walking.
Perhaps if I lived anywhere less walkable, I wouldn’t want to use the stroller.
As to restaurants, he usually just sat in my lap anyway. 🙂
-Beth
Sling all the way! I’ve noticed msbu more mums using them now. When I had my first 6 years ago I felt strange and self conscious using the sling. Now I don’t care and don’t feel as odd. My mum and mother in law wouldn’t take my baby out without a stroller. Oh and my lil man had a bit of s flat head even tho he is mostly carried.
Sling all the way! I’ve noticed msbu more mums using them now. When I had my first 6 years ago I felt strange and self conscious using the sling. Now I don’t care and don’t feel as odd. My mum and mother in law wouldn’t take my baby out without a stroller. Oh and my lil man had a bit of s flat head even tho he is mostly carried.
Here in Seattle you see a lot of baby-wearing 🙂 And if you do see strollers, they are usually jogging strollers being pushed by a running parent.
My husband and I used baby carriers with our girls. I preferred the Ergo (felt way more comfy), and he preferred the Baby Bjorn.
Our girls are really good walkers, but if we are taking a longer walk in the city and I know my youngest won’t make it the whole way, I will definitely bring the stroller (plus when we walk to/from the library, it’s easier to stash our books in the basket underneath. Now that she’s bigger and heavier, the stroller is easier on my back than carrying in the Ergo.
Here in Seattle you see a lot of baby-wearing 🙂 And if you do see strollers, they are usually jogging strollers being pushed by a running parent.
My husband and I used baby carriers with our girls. I preferred the Ergo (felt way more comfy), and he preferred the Baby Bjorn.
Our girls are really good walkers, but if we are taking a longer walk in the city and I know my youngest won’t make it the whole way, I will definitely bring the stroller (plus when we walk to/from the library, it’s easier to stash our books in the basket underneath. Now that she’s bigger and heavier, the stroller is easier on my back than carrying in the Ergo.
I did all of the above! I live in NYC so we do a lot of walking and don’t really have a car (we borrow one when needed, but that’s the extent of it). I didn’t hardly use the infant carrier, unless, like you, the baby was asleep in it (and even then only if I was going into someone’s home). I found the car seat to be way too heavy. I completely agree with you on that front!
Since I have a bad back, and my son was born huge, I attempted to carry him with the Baby Bjorn (but my husband did), and i really didn’t like it (nor was I as educated about baby wearing and the different options as i am today), so we def used the stroller – a lot! We have a bugaboo, which has a bassinet for when they were newborns, which converts to a seated stroller for when they were bigger. With my daughter, I had learned so much more about carriers, that i got a Girasol wrap and a Mei Tai carrier. I loved both of them. My husband and mother user the Baby Bjorn, and were ok with it. But still living in NYC with the amount of walking that we do, I used the stroller a lot. My daughter, who’s now 2, still loves being carried, but is just as happy in the stroller or walking (my son, who is now 5, was never a good walker, so sometimes they even switch, and he’ll sit in the stroller and she’ll walk 🙂 ).
I did all of the above! I live in NYC so we do a lot of walking and don’t really have a car (we borrow one when needed, but that’s the extent of it). I didn’t hardly use the infant carrier, unless, like you, the baby was asleep in it (and even then only if I was going into someone’s home). I found the car seat to be way too heavy. I completely agree with you on that front!
Since I have a bad back, and my son was born huge, I attempted to carry him with the Baby Bjorn (but my husband did), and i really didn’t like it (nor was I as educated about baby wearing and the different options as i am today), so we def used the stroller – a lot! We have a bugaboo, which has a bassinet for when they were newborns, which converts to a seated stroller for when they were bigger. With my daughter, I had learned so much more about carriers, that i got a Girasol wrap and a Mei Tai carrier. I loved both of them. My husband and mother user the Baby Bjorn, and were ok with it. But still living in NYC with the amount of walking that we do, I used the stroller a lot. My daughter, who’s now 2, still loves being carried, but is just as happy in the stroller or walking (my son, who is now 5, was never a good walker, so sometimes they even switch, and he’ll sit in the stroller and she’ll walk 🙂 ).
Here in South Korea babies are traditionally carried on the back and you still see a lot of babies snuggled up to their grandmothers that way. Younger moms tend to favor newer carriers, so there are a lot of Ergos. Seoul is a massive city and most people get around via walking and public transit, so carriers are beyond convenient.
We have an Ergo, a Maya wrap, a Moby, and Bjorn! The only one we barely used was the Bjorn because it didn’t have enough back support for either of us. We used the Moby until baby was about 8 months and have since switched to the Ergo for babywearing out of the house and the Maya for babywearing in the house. He hated his stroller until about 9 months, but now he’s okay with it. Since it’s not terribly convenient when I’m actually trying to get somewhere or get something done, I tend to only use it for, literally, strolling. We take it to the park, etc. The weather here before the monsoon hits is oppressive – hot and humid – so the stroller is a nice break from the carrier which makes both of us incredibly sticky and sweaty.
Here in South Korea babies are traditionally carried on the back and you still see a lot of babies snuggled up to their grandmothers that way. Younger moms tend to favor newer carriers, so there are a lot of Ergos. Seoul is a massive city and most people get around via walking and public transit, so carriers are beyond convenient.
We have an Ergo, a Maya wrap, a Moby, and Bjorn! The only one we barely used was the Bjorn because it didn’t have enough back support for either of us. We used the Moby until baby was about 8 months and have since switched to the Ergo for babywearing out of the house and the Maya for babywearing in the house. He hated his stroller until about 9 months, but now he’s okay with it. Since it’s not terribly convenient when I’m actually trying to get somewhere or get something done, I tend to only use it for, literally, strolling. We take it to the park, etc. The weather here before the monsoon hits is oppressive – hot and humid – so the stroller is a nice break from the carrier which makes both of us incredibly sticky and sweaty.
In the US I dabbled with a carrier, but often used a stroller when I was out and about. My back really bothered me after birth, and being able to put the baby down in a snugly space and get where I was going helped a lot. I love the closeness a carrier provides though!
Jen 🙂
In the US I dabbled with a carrier, but often used a stroller when I was out and about. My back really bothered me after birth, and being able to put the baby down in a snugly space and get where I was going helped a lot. I love the closeness a carrier provides though!
Jen 🙂
Charlotte, at 2.5 years old, is now sadly too big for the carrier, but she pretty much lived in one for the first few months and then was it in regularly thereafter. But she also spends quite a bit of time in the stroller. Yes, it is bulky and heavy and annoying a lot of the times, but it also allows us to go sightseeing when we travel, grocery shopping without a car, and out and about without worrying about naptime.
I never got the carseat thing, maybe cause Charlotte hated being in the car. It takes all my mama will not to judge when I see babies kept for hours in their car seat, from house to car to outing and back. Convenient for the parents, I guess, but I feel back for the poor little baby…
Charlotte, at 2.5 years old, is now sadly too big for the carrier, but she pretty much lived in one for the first few months and then was it in regularly thereafter. But she also spends quite a bit of time in the stroller. Yes, it is bulky and heavy and annoying a lot of the times, but it also allows us to go sightseeing when we travel, grocery shopping without a car, and out and about without worrying about naptime.
I never got the carseat thing, maybe cause Charlotte hated being in the car. It takes all my mama will not to judge when I see babies kept for hours in their car seat, from house to car to outing and back. Convenient for the parents, I guess, but I feel back for the poor little baby…
I think strollers are good. These days when we have two kids I can’t imagine not having one. Both me and my husband have back problems and we like long walks. Without the stroller we wouldn’t be able to walk like we do because non of us wouldn’t be able to carry our 3 months baby in any type of carrier no matter how good.
At the same time I hate the stroller culture I start to notice around. Strollers as a sign of your status. running strollers (even if the parents don’t run), so called yoga or zen stroller (even if the parents have not idea what downward dog is)… and changing strollers each year or with each baby… Just because they can. We’ve had our stroller for 3 years now. Our first baby was in it and now we use it for the second baby while the first one walks. Maybe it doesn’t look new anymore but it still works and does the job.
If not for my back I would rather prefer not to use it anyway, but as I said in our case it is necessary!
I think strollers are good. These days when we have two kids I can’t imagine not having one. Both me and my husband have back problems and we like long walks. Without the stroller we wouldn’t be able to walk like we do because non of us wouldn’t be able to carry our 3 months baby in any type of carrier no matter how good.
At the same time I hate the stroller culture I start to notice around. Strollers as a sign of your status. running strollers (even if the parents don’t run), so called yoga or zen stroller (even if the parents have not idea what downward dog is)… and changing strollers each year or with each baby… Just because they can. We’ve had our stroller for 3 years now. Our first baby was in it and now we use it for the second baby while the first one walks. Maybe it doesn’t look new anymore but it still works and does the job.
If not for my back I would rather prefer not to use it anyway, but as I said in our case it is necessary!