My Name is Nancy and I am experiencing, after more than six years of motherhood, a terrible case of separation anxiety. We are used to our toddlers give us hell with this – it is, after all, expected during the terrible twos. But you may call mine a case of the “terrible thirties.”
I have never had to leave my baby, (she doesn’t agree with the baby part) for longer than a week. That week, might I add, was the toughest week ever. I am so fortunate that my job requires minimal travel. Each year, I travel for just a few days to get things done, and hurry back, super lightning speed, to be reunited with my family.
Those brief work trips are hard. I suffer everything from insomnia, to hearing my daughter’s voice in my head, to general feelings of self loathing and sadness. I could really kick myself because it’s ridiculous. She is 6! Surely that’s old enough for me, and for her. Why can’t I get over my separation anxiety? Does traveling have to give me such dread? Why is it never the same without them?
I recently got a fantastic opportunity to be a part of an academic fellowship across the pond, I mean waaayyy across, that will require me to be away for most of the summer holidays. While it a great opportunity for myself, the first thing I felt was pure dread. Dread that I have to leave my husband and my baby behind for what seems to be an eternity.
Ladies, please tell me I am not going crazy and some of you also feel this way at times? Is it impossible to put ourselves first?
This is an original post written for World Moms Blog by Nancy Sumari in Tanzania. Image courtesy of the author.
I think it’s normal to feel anxious when away from our husbands and children. The separation seems to bring to the forefront just HOW MUCH they are a part of our lives; as if we didn’t yet know. Lol!
Having said that, and having just been gone for a month, way….way across the pond, I can tell you this: the one thing that kept me in check (and not spending all my time thinking of my family), was recognising that this was a part of my personal journey, and I would be cheating myself & them had I not taken it. Two, I was over the pond: there was need for me to pull up my bootstraps and do what I came to do. Completely focus on why I came all the way across the world & left my family for a month. It really helped me to do so, and I know you have it in you, too. You are one phenomenal woman; surely you got this!