by Mamawearpapashirt (Singapore) | Jul 4, 2013 | Being Thankful, Singapore, World Moms Blog
According to international pollster Gallup, based on a poll of nearly 150,000 people worldwide conducted in 2011, Singapore came out tops on the list of countries that are least happy.
To be honest, I was surprised and yet not. Singapore is a pretty well-to-do country, well-organised and well-governed, in most senses of the word.
Yet, we’ve all been labelled as “unhappy people.”
A little video went out to the streets of Singapore to ask people “What makes YOU happy?” Here are some popular answers:
- Love.
- Family.
- My wife / husband.
- When the kids are happy.
- Time. To rest. Exercise. Do the things we love. Spend time with the people we love.
(Things that people living on the other end of the globe could probably be saying too huh?)
It struck me to realise that the things that make us happy are pretty universal, shared across nationalities, ethnicities, gender, and socio-economic status. They relate to every human being’s most intrinsic needs – We all want to be loved, want to feel safe, be understood, and valued by others, especially our loved ones. Don’t we?
I think thankfulness is one of the major keys to happiness.
But when we start comparing with the Joneses, or seeing and desiring the things that we don’t have, it can start to feel pretty ugly inside.
Also, a simple act of kindness and helping others. Somehow never fails to make us feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Ultimately, happiness lies in our own little hands. We can all take steps towards happiness today. By appreciating ourselves and our spouses, counting our blessings, cherishing time with family (despite our individual weaknesses and quirks), and enjoying our children.
Seeing my little ones jump and tear down the pathway towards the playground makes me happy.
Receiving a hug and a kind loving word from my husband at the end of the day makes me happy.
Making time to dig into a good book, or going for a walk and counting bees and flowers make me happy.
We may all have our struggles, our fears, our worries, but by breathing out life’s stressful moments, and breathing in such moments of inexpressible joy and delight (and letting them linger in my heart) keeps me grounded, and helps me navigate this journey we’re all on – parenthood.
Joy is a way of life. An intentional choice.
When our kids see us making that choice, I’m sure they are likely to make similar choices in future. Positive. With a bright outlook on life. Resilient. People who try to make the best out of the lemons that life may bring.
What do you think? And what makes you happy?
If you have 4.5 minutes, do watch this video to see what other Singaporeans are saying:
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZaIsR9seMo]
This is an original post by June Yong of Singapore, for World Moms Blog. June blogs about motherhood and other joys, over at Mama Wear Papa Shirt.
Photo credited to http://quotez.co/there-is-always-something-to-be-thankful-for-happiness-quotes/
June, born and bred on the sunny and sometimes rainy shores of Singapore, is a mother of two - a chatty 4 y.o. girl and a toddler boy who babbles. She works part-time as a communication consultant, and she is deeply passionate about family, writing, faith, and good old-fashioned love. She can be found on her blog, Mamawearpapashirt.
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by Fiona Biedermann (Australia) | Jun 24, 2013 | 2013, Being Thankful, Brothers, Family, Home, Life Balance, Motherhood, Oceania, Older Children, Parenting, Relationships, Siblings, Working Mother, World Motherhood
It’s 8.27pm on the day this post is due and I have a dozen excuses for why I wasn’t going to make the deadline. But the biggest excuse is probably that I’m a mum and plans went astray and that none of those excuses will cut it with the audience and contributors on World Mom Blogs – because most of us are mums with our own daily battles to overcome.
I will tell you my excuses though, because it proves we never stop being mums, we never stop worrying about our children and sometimes they continue to drive us crazy with frustration, regardless of how old they are.
My twenty four year old son was a difficult teenager and never really got on with his step-dad, he’s been out of home for 8 years. He and his fiancé separated 18 months ago, with a baby in the mix to further complicate things. To say the last 18 months have been difficult for him to adjust to her leaving would be an understatement. His uncle on his dad’s side committed suicide last year and he took that badly too.
All of this drama in his life culminated in him getting evicted from his house early this year, and it’s been downhill since then. He moved in with his new girlfriend’s parents a few weeks ago and let’s suffice to say a whole series of drama and problems and stressing about his situation ended up with him losing his job.
Yes I’m now almost totally grey from stress and worry. Don’t be misled in thinking that once they move out and have their own families that the worry stops. This boy of mine has always been hard work, I love him to pieces but I continue to want to strangle him some days.
Work got crazy last Wednesday for me with a co-worker taking a sudden 5-week sick leave. I was immediately thrown into a Corporate Property Management role with no knowledge whatsoever of what I was doing. Massive workloads and plenty of stress – are you feeling sorry for me yet?
Thursday morning my son rings to say he and his girlfriend are having problems and can he come home. No money, no job and nowhere to live. Add in a stepfather who wasn’t keen on him coming home given their past history and I was worrying myself stupid. Grandson joined the mix for the weekend, so it was: hubby and I, eldest son, 18-year-old son and his girlfriend, 15-year-old son and 2 year old grandson squished into a 3-bedroom house.
It’s been a tough week, I’m tired, I’m strung out and I suddenly wish for the years long ago when the greatest stress my boys provided was them wrestling on the floor or fist fighting. Once upon a time I longed for them to get older and look after themselves.
Being a mum and caring and worrying – that never ends.
So while my excuses are valid to me they don’t really cut it for not doing something I said I would do – we all have drama to deal with, we’re mums and we battle on.
Coming home to live with mum had its rules, I told son to doorknock businesses with resume in hand until he found a job. No sitting on his butt claiming unemployment benefits in this house. Mum is always right, he got a call today and starts a new job tomorrow. He’s also gone to stay with his dad from tonight until he can find a new house – dad’s got more room for him.
So the week from hell has a happy result.
So my advice to all of you: enjoy the sibling rivalry, the battles, and the sleepless nights – because once you’re the mother of teenagers or adults, then you can throw grandchildren and partners in to further complicate the motherhood journey.
As much as I want to throw my boys in their rooms and tell them to pull their heads in and behave themselves, it’s not that easy anymore. How I wish it was.
Do your kids ever drive you crazy? What’s your biggest battle with them these days? What advice would you pass on to other mothers?
This is an original World Moms Blog post by Fiona from Inspiration to Dream of Adelaide, South Australia.
The photograph used in this post is credited to the author.
Fiona at Inspiration to Dream is a married mother of three amazing and talented MM’s (mere males, as she lovingly calls them) aged 13, 16 and 22, and she became a nana in 2011!
She believes she’s more daunted by becoming a nana than she was about becoming a mother! This Aussie mother figures she will also be a relatively young nana and she’s not sure that she’s really ready for it yet, but then she asks, are we ever really ready for it? Motherhood or Nanahood. (Not really sure that’s a word, but she says it works for her.)
Fiona likes to think of herself as honest and forthright and is generally not afraid to speak her mind, which she says sometimes gets her into trouble, but hey, it makes life interesting. She’s hoping to share with you her trials of being a working mother to three adventurous boys, the wife of a Mr Fix-it who is definitely a man’s man and not one of the ‘sensitive new age guy’ generation, as well as, providing her thoughts and views on making her way in the world.
Since discovering that she’s the first blogger joining the team from Australia, she also plans to provide a little insight into the ‘Aussie’ life, as well. Additionally, Fiona can be found on her personal blog at Inspiration to Dream.
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by Veena Davis (Singapore) | Jun 20, 2013 | Family, Home, Husband, Parenting, Singapore, World Moms Blog, World Motherhood
We continue honoring the fathers out there, even after Father’s Day! Today, Veena writes about her thoughts on the roles of fathers, and their unique hallmarks.
Motherhood and Mother’s Day are celebrated the world over – but how much does the world really realise a father’s sacrifices for his family?
According to Merriam-Webster, a father is :
fa·ther (fä
r)
n.
a. A male person whose sperm unites with an egg, resulting in the conception of a child.
b. A man who adopts a child.
c. A man who raises a child.
As mothers, we all know the amount of work involved in raising a child. So, how many of you would agree to the first definition of a father – sperm uniting with an egg? Or even the second?
A father – in the truest sense of the word – is one who begets a child and stands up for the mother and child through thick and thin. He is there during the sunny times and rainy days, during happiness and sorrow. And through sickness and health.
I am a full-time working mother – made possible only with the complete support of my husband. When I have to travel on business trips, or stay late at office, he is there for my Li’l One.
India (where I am from) is a patriarchal society with the men taking the upper hand in most spheres of life and work. When a girl gets married, she is usually expected to resign if her husband (or his family) doesn’t want her to work (often with no regard to her wish to continue working), she may have to move to a new city if her husband is located there, and more often than not, she is expected to give up her job once she has a kid. Or if the husband gets a posting abroad, the wife just has to drop everything and follow him there.
Sometimes when I go home, there are relatives who look askance when I say I have to attend a call or a meeting, or that I have no time for some thing. According to some of them, I should be devoting more time to womanly pursuits – like cooking, attending Church or some such activity.
This is quite funny, because my paternal Grandfather was a person who believed in a girl’s right to education and managed to get all 3 of his daughters educated and in government jobs. And he had just 2 granddaughters (me and a cousin) from a brood of 10 grand-kids, and both of us are full-time working mothers. Needless to say, none of the women who married into the family are working outside the house (for various reasons).
I have nothing against home makers – my Mother is one herself – and I am eternally thankful to her for her decision to stay home and look after us. All I am saying is that no one has any right to judge whether a woman should work or not, and decide what should be her priorities in life.
Now, I have a tremendous opportunity to move to Singapore, and my husband is again there for me – completely supporting my decision, and ready to move over as a family – not heeding any unwanted voices that may whisper about the inappropriateness of a husband moving because of his wife’s work priorities.
So far, I have just seen a single friend who moved abroad because his wife was transferred there on a project. And here I am – honoured to have such a caring person as a partner. He is always there with a helping hand in the kitchen (one place I detest). He has a bad back, and yet refuses to let me carry the heavy stuff. Every time I am back from my business trips, he insists on driving over with Li’l One to the airport, so that I don’t have to worry about getting a cab late at night. And no matter how worn out he is, he always has a smile for Li’l One and me.
In fact, it is all there in the little things – the way he always slows down the car to allow a person to cross the road, or a car waiting at a U-turn to take the turn. Or the pains he has taken to win over my family, in spite of us having an intercaste marriage (a terrible taboo in India) and even after having been subtly snubbed by some of my extended family (something that could very well result in cutting ties with the wife’s family forever). Or even the times he has packed up the house during the umpteen moves we have had ( 6 in the last 7 years), and let me go to a friend’s place or my home (and yes, I offered to stay and do the packing, but he was insistent that I leave it all to him).
Here is a salute to Fathers all over the world!
What makes your partner the best in the world? How does he help you out in your day?
Veena has experienced living in different climes of Asia - born and brought up in the hot Middle East, and a native of India from the state known as God’s Own Country, she is currently based in the tropical city-state of Singapore. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Several years ago, she came across World Moms Network (then World Moms Blog) soon after its launch, and was thrilled to become a contributor. She has a 11-year old son and a quadragenarian husband (although their ages might be inversed to see how they are with each other sometimes). ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ On a professional front, she works in the financial sector - just till she earns enough to commit to her dream job of full-time bibliophile. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ You can also find Veena at her personal blog, Merry Musing. ⠀
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by Nicole Melancon (USA) | Jun 18, 2013 | 2013, India, Social Good, Third Eye Mom, Uncategorized, World Voice
A pregnant mothers group at one of the slums served by Save the Children. Photo By Nicole Melancon
At the end of May I had the honor of traveling to India along with Jennifer James, founder of Mom Bloggers for Social Good, a global coalition of mom bloggers who use our voice through blogging and social media to spread awareness, education and support to the various NGOs around the world that are making a difference.
The purpose of our trip to India was to meet face to face with some of our partner NGOs and see firsthand some of the issues we cover as part of Mom Bloggers for Social Good: Maternal and newborn health, food and water poverty, sanitation issues, and education for women and girls.
Although this was not my first time to India (I had visited India a few years ago as a tourist) it was my first time going in a much different role: As a social good blogger and advocate. Seeing India in a different framework was utterly life changing.
India is perhaps one of the most fascinating places I’ve ever been and with its enormous population, and sensational culture comes issues that are often overwhelming to comprehend. Most people are aware of the huge inequities and poverty strangling India. Although India has seen rapid economic growth over the last decade, the gap between rich and poor has become even wider and more profound. As migrant families leave their villages in rural India and come to the big cities in search for a better life, the growth of urban slums, many in deplorable conditions, continues at unmanageable rates. In just Delhi alone, there are thousands of them. And as almost half a million migrants come to Delhi alone each year, many of them end up populating the already over-crowded urban slums that can be found all throughout the city, even alongside some of Delhi’s most expensive neighborhoods.
Our mission in India was to visit the heart of Delhi’s slums to see the issues firsthand and meet with our partner NGOs who are on the ground and making a difference in people’s lives.
It was not an easy trip. The weather was scorching hot with highs nearing 120 degrees Fahrenheit and visiting an urban slum in itself is heartbreaking and shocking. Although I’ve experienced poverty many times before in my travels I wasn’t prepared for the enormous magnitude of desperation that I found in India.
Girls learning at Pratham. Photo by Nicole Melancon
The highlight of our entire trip happened on our first day. We met with a small Indian non-profit organization called Protsahan. Founded by young Indian social entrepreneur Sonal Kapoor, Protsahan, uses a unique approach to teaching and inspiring young, underprivileged girls who come from some of the most tragic circumstances possible. All are poor, and many have been abused and have little opportunity to get an education or a way out of the poverty they were born into. Protsahan, which means “encouragement” uses the arts as a means to inspire, teach and motivate the girls to learn and strive for a brighter future. It was a heartwarming experience meeting Sonal and the girls that were striving to succeed and climb out of poverty. I left wishing we could stay longer. The love and tenderness of Sonal for the girls was overwhelming and made me realize that anyone can make a difference in the world and impact the lives of others.
Our second day was spent visiting another education-focused NGO called Pratham, which is the largest NGO working in India to provide quality education to the country’s millions of underprivileged children. We visited a Hub Center supporting 150 children that was located in a slum in Trilokpuri, East Delhi. The program model was slightly different from Protsahan as the classes were co-ed and also were offered for a minimal, yet affordable fee. Classes began at preschool age and continued on to more advanced English as well as vocational courses. What makes Pratham so unique is its approach to working with the government to create change.
Our final day was spent visiting two big NGOs, Save the Children and WaterAid, where we were able to do two field visits to different urban slums to see their work. In the morning , we visited some of Save the Children’s projects within the Okhla Industrial Area that hosts garment factories, home to over thousands of families living in unauthorized slums. Save the Children provides a variety of services to the slum such as a mobile health van where people can receive basic health care services, medication, and prenatal and newborn health check-ups which is extremely important in cutting maternal and newborn mortality rates. We also attended one of the weekly meetings for pregnant mothers where they are taught the skills needed to ensure their children’s survival.
We ended our day with WaterAid, an NGO that works all over the world to provide safe drinking water and sanitation services.
Ironically, we visited an unauthorized slum built right outside the lush, grand American Embassy.
Unauthorized slums are by far the most devastating places to live. Many do not have running water or sewer systems, which significantly threatens the health and livelihood of the people. At the Vivekanansa slum, we toured one of WaterAid’s Community Toilet Compounds (CTC) which provides safe, clean toilets to the hundreds of families that live in the community. WaterAid operates 78 CTCs all over Delhi as well as CTCs throughout India. The importance of having a CTC cannot be understated. Not only does it provide dignity, it also helps stop serious diseases which kills many children each year.
I left India feeling intense emotions. There were so many enormous issues that at times it was completely overwhelming. Yet, meeting some of the NGOS and people on the ground who are saving lives and making the world a better place, sometimes one person at a time, inspired hope that change can be made.
This is an original World Moms Blog post written by Nicole Melancon of ThirdEyeMom .
Have you been to India, or experienced the juxtaposition of these types of extremes?
Third Eye Mom is a stay-at-home mom living in Minneapolis, Minnesota with her two children Max (6) and Sophia (4). Her children keep her continually busy and she is constantly amazed by the imagination, energy and joy of life that they possess! A world wanderer at heart, she has also been fortunate to have visited over 30 countries by either traveling, working, studying or volunteering and she continues to keep on the traveling path.
A graduate of French and International Relations from the University of Wisconsin Madison, where she met her husband Paul, she has always been a Midwest gal living in Minnesota, Wisconsin and Chicago. This adventurous mom loves to be outside doing anything athletic (hiking, running, biking, skiing, snowshoeing or simply enjoying nature), to travel and volunteer abroad, to write, and to spend time with her beloved family and friends.
Her latest venture involves her dream to raise enough money on her own to build and open a brand-new school in rural Nepal, and to teach her children to live compassionately, open-minded lives that understand different cultures and the importance of giving back to those in need. Third Eye Mom believes strongly in the value of making a difference in the world, no matter how small it may be. If there is a will, there is a way, and that anything is possible (as long as you set your heart and mind to it!).
Visit her on her blog, Thirdeyemom, where she writes about her travels and experiences in other lands!
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by Tina Santiago-Rodriguez (Philippines) | Jun 13, 2013 | Child Care, Husband, Parenting, Philippines, Tina Santiago-Rodriguez, Truly Rich Mom, World Moms Blog, World Motherhood
I know some of you may not agree with the title of this post but humor me anyway. I’m writing this using my phone, while nursing and holding my seven-week-old daughter close to me, skin to skin. She’s been sick since birth, you see, and lost a significant amount of weight and is recovering from an infection. (The awesome ladies from my World Moms Blog family know in detail what’s been happening in my life lately and you folks who may be curious can get more details over at www.trulyrichmom.com.)
Anyway, back to the post title. While many mothers may not be raising their children with their husbands or partners or their kids’ birth fathers (because of their circumstances and/or choices), for many of us, this is still the set-up we have: mom AND dad work together to bring up the kids and make sure they become productive citizens.
This is certainly true in my case, and because it is Father’s Day this weekend, I want to take this opportunity to thank all the “World Dads” out there who are committed to helping their wives or partners raise their children, including my own husband.
The past seven weeks with our now-recovering baby have been extra challenging and I don’t think I could have survived them without her father. Anthony has been a pillar of strength for me and although I know that deep down he has been worried over our little one too, he has never shown it, and has always reminded me that “all is well.” (more…)
Tina Santiago-Rodriguez is a wife and homeschool mom by vocation, a licensed
physical therapist by education and currently the managing editor of Mustard, a
Catholic children's magazine published by Shepherd's Voice
Publications in the Philippines, by profession. She has been writing
passionately since her primary school years in Brunei, and contributes
regularly to several Philippine and foreign-based online and print publications. She also does sideline editing and scriptwriting jobs, when she has the time. Find out more about Tina through her personal
blogs: Truly Rich Mom and Teacher Mama Tina.
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by Karyn Wills | Jun 3, 2013 | Babies, Being Thankful, Health, Kids, Life Balance, Maternal Health, Motherhood, New Zealand, Nutrition, Parent Care, Pregnancy, World Motherhood, Younger Children
I had my third baby when I was 41. Many people told me I was bonkers and a few refused to congratulate me, but those who knew how it felt to long for a baby, whether that baby was number one or number six, were as delighted as I was.
I was unfit, I knew that once the baby came I would feel tired, and I knew that I would have no time to myself. We already had one son who felt secure with strong boundaries and a gazillion hugs a day, and another who felt truly secure only while he was attached to my body. I knew that I would have to take each day, each hour, perhaps each minute as it came.
This was my self-imposed Everest: to give completely of myself until all the boys chose to pull away from me or manage my small nudges out of the nest, in order that they properly develop their wings. I figured things would begin to get somewhat easier at around the 18 month to two year mark. A friend, who had also had a third baby in her 40s, said it would take four years. I didn’t believe her.
I hadn’t counted on a 24 hour labour followed by a massive bleed on the operating table during an emergency C-Section. I hadn’t planned on premenopausal bodily hiccups. I never imagined I’d feel like I was churning through porridge day after day, after day, after day. But that’s what I got.
Just before Christmas last year I could stand it no longer. I was barely functioning, and I truly felt like this level of energy was my lot. I had three energetic and wonderful boys who needed a Mum with some oomph and pizzazz. I did a breathing rate test off the internet, and my results were worse than a heavy smoker and the same as someone in heart-failure. I went to the doctor.
It was then that I discovered that my iron and haemoglobin levels were extremely low – I joke that I was three quarters dead. Thankfully, my vitamin B levels were fine, my thyroid was doing its happy dance, and I passed the depression test. I got my iron levels sorted and began to feel a bit better.
Still, I wasn’t feeling great and I did wonder, again, if this amount of energy was my lot.
I tweaked my diet. I began rising earlier and going to bed at the same time as the boys. Our baby turned three and a half, and then three and three quarters.
And now, finally, after close to four years, I am almost back to myself. I cannot possibly regret having a gorgeous and much loved child in my 40s. I cannot possibly regret any of the time or energy I have put into any of my beautiful boys. But I can tell you this in complete confidence:
I am damned pleased to be on this side of the mountain!
How did life events affect how you coped with parenting your babies and toddlers?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog from our contributor in New Zealand, Karyn.
The image used in this post is credited to Lindsey Turner. It holds a Flickr Creative Commons attribution license.
Karyn is a teacher, writer and solo mother to three sons. She lives in the sunny wine region of Hawke’s Bay, New Zealand in the city of Napier.
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