by Nadege Nicoll | Jan 15, 2015 | 2015, Awareness, Communication, Cultural Differences, Family, France, Girls, Global Citizenship, Humanity, International, Loss of Child, Motherhood, Nadege Nicoll, News, Older Children, Parenting, Terrorism, World Events, World Motherhood, Younger Children
A year ago, girls, teenagers who wanted an education so they could look forward to a great future, were abducted from their school in Chibok, Nigeria. They were taken away, kidnapped and removed from their family, because they were guilty of having ambitions. All these girls had to defend themselves were books.
What’s left of this horror is parents. Mothers and fathers, grieving for a loss that can never be overcome, hurting from a pain that will never lessen, left to wonder why, and knowing that no answer will ever alleviate their sorrow. Because there is no justification.
A few months ago, Peshawar happened and with it, the world once again, lost its innocence. Over 150 kids massacred, because they were guilty of being the children of their parents. All these kids had to defend themselves were notepads.
What’s left of this horror is parents. Mothers and fathers, grieving for a loss that can never be overcome, hurting from a pain that will never lessen, left to wonder why, and knowing that no answer will alleviate their sorrow. Because there is no justification.
Last week, my home country, France, was the theatre of repeated terrorist attacks. People were massacred because they went to work that day, or decided to do their grocery shopping. A brutal attack, with one side holding weapons, the other pencils.
And the violence continued with news of over 2000 killed in Baga, Nigeria.
What’s left of this horror is parents. Mothers, fathers, grieving for a loss that can never be overcome, hurting from a pain that will never lessen, left to wonder why, and knowing that no answer will ever alleviate their sorrow. Because there is no justification.
Mothers, fathers of this world, our families are being hurt beyond comprehension. Pencils are fighting bombs, words are matched with weapons. These violent attacks are not about gender, race, religion, background, or opinions. They are about pulverizing families. This is a call to unite. We all have a responsibility to do everything in our power to preserve our families and help others do the same.
We are all Chibok girls. We are all Peshawar. We are all Charlie.
How do we, global parents everywhere, teach our children to cherish and preserve their families? How do we unite to show them that violence is never the answer?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Nadege Nicoll. She was born in France but now lives permanently in New Jersey with her family. Nadege also writes a daily blog for moms who need to smile at everyday life. She can be found on Twitter, Facebook and her website www.nadegenicoll.com.
Image creation by author.
Nadege Nicoll was born in France but now lives permanently in New Jersey with her family. She stopped working in the corporate world to raise her three children and multiple pets, thus secretly gathering material for her books. She writes humorous fictions for kids aged 8 to 12. She published her first chapter book, “Living with Grown-Ups: Raising Parents” in March 2013. Her second volume in the series just came out in October 2013. “Living with Grown-Ups: Duties and Responsibilities” Both books take an amusing look at parents’ inconsistent behaviors, seen from the perspective of kids. Nadege hopes that with her work, children will embrace reading and adults will re-discover the children side of parenthood. Nadege has a few more volumes ready to print, so watch this space…
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by Cindy Levin | Jan 13, 2015 | 2015, Death and Dying, Family, International, Travel, World Moms Blog, World Voice
Maracas Bay Beach, Trinidad & Tobago. Photo by Lazette Nichols
Looking out of the plane window onto an endless ocean below, I thought about how long it took me to make a journey back to my father’s home country of Trinidad and Tobago, a pilgrimage long overdue.
It had been 30 years since I set foot on the island. My dad grew up in Trinidad and Tobago in the 1930’s when it was still British and roads doubled as donkey trails. The last time I was there at age 13, I was grieving over dad’s sudden death the year before and my cousins took us to see the American comedy hit Ghostbusters. This time, I was racing to Trinidad with my mom because of an email telling us that dad’s sister, my Aunt Cynthia, was in the hospital after a stroke and things looked dire. She had even received last rites. No one expected her to last until Christmas. My phone rang and Mom unexpectedly asked: “How do you feel about going to Trinidad…like, right now?”
As far as I know, there have been only two women in the world ever to be given the name “Cynthia Chang-Yit”: my aunt and me. A typo in an immigration office somewhere between China and Trinidad inadvertently gave my grandfather a unique last name.
Sharing the name made me proud that she was my special aunt and godmother. She always visited us for major family milestones…weddings, graduations, memorable Christmases, and – of course – Dad’s funeral. She seemed elegant to me, appearing every few years in our Minnesota winters bundled in the same fur coat. (Why buy a new winter coat when you live near the equator?) Her eyes crinkled when she smiled at my childhood silliness. I loved how my room held her powdery scent during and after her stay. I liked to usher her to my room so we could sleep in matching twin beds. The super-glued sign on the door back then read, appropriately, “Cynthia’s Room.”
It’s rare in life when one is actually faced with answering the rhetorical question: “If you knew you could see someone you love for one last time, how much would you pay for that chance?” I still don’t precisely know, but it suddenly became clear that it’s way more than the cost of a last-minute plane ticket to the Caribbean.
I boarded with luggage containing black funeral clothes as well as a swimsuit. I didn’t know what would happen. Would I attend her funeral? Sit for hours in a hospital? End up at a beach playing in the surf or staring pensively in grief? The only thing I knew for sure was that I wouldn’t have to wear snow boots.
My family has a very global history and I personally speak out to Congress about global concerns regularly, so why did it take this long to get me back to the islands? How many years went by as I dithered over when a “good time” to go to Trinidad would be? Lack of money, lack of vacation days, exam schedules, babies, a general unease with international travel…there was always something in the way. I’m reminded of the saying, “If you want something, you’ll find reasons. If you don’t, you’ll find excuses.” I eventually have to admit that I didn’t want it bad enough because – let’s face it – there is never a “good time” to go. Like all things in life, it simply has to be a priority or not. When I look at my list of excuses, they’re only the protests of someone not wanting to step out of her comfort zone. I have American friends who travel to see their families in Japan, Brazil, and Malaysia with babies and toddlers. These folks are neither particularly wealthy nor adventurous. They just place a higher value on the bonds of family and showing children what it means to be from the places where their families began.
‘Aunt Cynthia’ with the author’s daughter. Photo by Cynthia Changyit Levin
I’m happy to tell you that my mom and I were able to see Aunt Cynthia. As of today, she is at home and still hanging on. She could not speak nor move much when I saw her, but I was rewarded with the recognition on her face that I had finally come to visit. Her eyes crinkled a bit when I held a puppy up for her to see, knowing our shared love of dogs. She gave me exasperated looks when I asked if she liked the current Prime Minister or told her I hadn’t yet tried the local beer. I got the chance to sit by her side to read her the paper, put lotion on her hands, show her pictures of my daughters, give her flowers, sing her Christmas carols, and – above all – tell her I love her.
So, what is my takeaway from my long-overdue trip? Will I become a world traveler now? Will I visit my Trinidad cousins every year with my kids? Honestly, no. I’m still basically the same person who needs a push to use her passport. But I think I can find a happy medium between recreational globetrotting and never going at all. It’s in that middle ground where I found the beautiful experiences of standing on a beach with my mother where my father brought her as a newlywed, consulting with my cousins about our shared family recipes, and sitting at the side of someone who needed me.
Did you ever have the chance to say goodbye to someone you loved before they died, or missed the chance by not making the trip when you could have?
This is an original post written for World Moms Blog By Cynthia Changyit Levin.
Cynthia Changyit Levin is a mother, advocate, speaker, and author of the upcoming book “From Changing Diapers to Changing the World: Why Moms Make Great Advocates and How to Get Started.” A rare breed of non-partisan activist who works across a variety of issues, she coaches volunteers of all ages to build productive relationships with members of Congress. She advocated side-by-side with her two children from their toddler to teen years and crafted a new approach to advocacy based upon her strengths as a mother. Cynthia’s writing and work have appeared in The New York Times, The Financial Times, the Washington Post, and many other national and regional publications. She received the 2021 Cameron Duncan Media Award from RESULTS Educational Fund for her citizen journalism on poverty issues. When she’s not changing the world, Cynthia is usually curled up reading sci-fi/fantasy novels or comic books in which someone else is saving the world.
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by Tina Marie Ernspiker | Jan 9, 2015 | 2015, Family, Health, Husband, International, Kids, Life Lesson, Living Abroad, Mexico, Motherhood, Parenting, World Motherhood
As a wife of one and a mom of four, it seems like I am always learning and discovering! I know I am not alone. Let’s just admit it: The world is a big place, life is a lesson, and children can be the best teachers. Normally my series, Life Lessons with Mexico Mom, is hosted on Los Gringos Locos, but today I am posting here on World Moms Blog.
Here are my insights and experiences as a Mexico Mom for this week:
Life Lesson 43: There is a worldwide mommy clique. Let’s be honest. You have single cliques, couple cliques, and parent cliques. So far, in Mexico, we have not found our mommy and daddy clique. We have some wonderful friends, who we love very much, but they are either single or married without kids. I truly miss our parent clique in Louisville, Kentucky. Perhaps we need to widen out. Our family loves people so that shouldn’t be hard to do, we just need to make the effort. Parents understand parents. That is the mommy and daddy clique. Welcome to World Moms Blog, where we are all moms, all around the world 🙂
Life Lesson 44: Check your feet before you leave the house. The other day I left the house with my oldest daughter to go in our ministry. We were several blocks away when I realized I was still wearing my tacky, blue, house slippers. We turned around and a minute later Alexis exchanged my slippers for my sandals. My husband and my daughter had a good laugh. If I had actually made it to our destination before realizing what I was wearing, I wouldn’t have been able to change them. I would have walked around Morelia, Michoacan, Mexico in house slippers. That is what you get for being a busy, ADHD, mom of four!
Life Lesson 45: If your kid has a cold and is coughing up a storm, beware of spontaneous vomit. Both of our boys have a cold. They are miserable, with runny noses, coughing and hacking. Yesterday I was comforting our 20 month old. Then he proceeded to vomit milk in my hair. I was grossed out despite being quite familiar with pee, poo, snot, and vomit from my last 11 years of parenting. Brad cleaned the baby while I took a hot shower. FYI: Milk isn’t the best during a cold. It tends to increase the mucus. I should have known…
What life lesson did you learn this past week? Please share it with us below. We want to hear your thoughts from around the world!
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Tina Marie Ernspiker. Tina can be found blogging over at Los Gringos Locos. She is also on Facebook and Twitter.
Photo credit to A. Hurst Photography
by Melanie Oda (Japan) | Jan 8, 2015 | 2014, Awareness, Child Care, Childhood, Culture, Domesticity, Education, Expat Life, Eye on Culture, Family, Feminism, Grandparent, Home, Husband, International, Japan, Life, Life Lesson, Living Abroad, Marriage, Me-Time, Motherhood, Multicultural, Parent Care, Parenting, Priorities, Relationships, Responsibility, School, Social Equality, Womanhood, Women's Rights, World Motherhood, Younger Children
Gender equality has been in the news quite a bit in Japan recently, sort of, and some things have happened closer to home that have me thinking.
It started when a (female) Tokyo assembly member was heckled in a sexist way. Then Prime Minister Abe introduced some new policies to let women “shine.” (He needs to get them doing something for the economy.) He even appointed several women to cabinet posts, for about five minutes, until they were slapped back down into their places over minor scandals.
In Japan, people are talking more about issues women face but no one seems to be doing much about them.
(Lest I forget: strangely enough, the declining birth rate is treated as a “women’s issue.” I seem to remember my husband being involved, too.)
I never considered myself a feminist growing up. Some members of the evangelical, conservative community I grew up in doubtless felt “feminist” was a new version of the “F-word.”
OK, so I went to a high school with more sports options for boys than girls. And yes, girls were encouraged to take chorus and home economics instead of woodworking or mechanics. So maybe I heard men from my community refer to grown women as “broads” or “gals.” There also were some restrictions at church regarding women’s and men’s roles. But I never felt that possessing certain types of baby-making parts limited my potential.
Then I moved to Japan, where gender roles are more firmly entrenched and my way of thinking slowly changed.
As I get older, and because I am a mother, I find that I am limited in ways that I couldn’t have foreseen as a young girl.
Some people may find life here in Japan freeing. If you aspire to be a homemaker a la Martha Stewart, then your life’s work would be very much respected and appreciated here. My husband wouldn’t bat an eyelid if he came home to a messy house because I’d spent the day at a preschool mothers’ lunch. He knows that is part of the job (on the other hand, it would never occur to him to pick up the mess himself.)
If, as a woman, you have other aspirations, Japanese culture seems designed to work against you. The glass ceiling is very much in tact. On the news here you do hear issues like lack of childcare and “maternity harassment” being addressed. But what gets talked about less often is that to many women, including myself, it feels as if there’s a glass door as well.
It’s my front door.
Before a woman can even think about what is facing her out in the world, she needs to address the forces that are keeping her at home. Some of these are practical, some are logistical, some are cultural and perhaps peculiar to Japan and it’s work culture.
For me, it starts with my husband: He leaves home at 7am every morning, but I have no idea what time he will be back. Sometimes it’s 7pm. Sometimes it’s midnight. He may be in the office that day, or he may suddenly be sent to another prefecture. He’s made international trips on 12 hours notice. I cannot depend on him being home at a designated time, by no fault of his own. The idea of him taking time off with a sick child is preposterous in the extreme.
I have been lucky enough to have two job offers recently, both of which would be more or less during school hours, but neither is nearby. If a child were to get sick and need picking up, or if god-forbid there was a natural disaster (which is always in the back of your mind if you are a mother in Japan,) then my husband would be closer. I mentioned that, and he completely shot me down. Not just the idea of him picking up the kids in case of an emergency, but the idea of a job anywhere outside of cycling distance from the school.
We live in a residential neighborhood. I patch together some part-time work here and there, but it’s not like there are loads of professional opportunities in a two kilometer radius.
I suddenly felt very limited, penned in, in a way I haven’t felt before. The glass door was slamming in my face.
I don’t think I’m alone in this conundrum. Go to almost any supermarket in a residential area during the day, and you will see women in their prime working years manning the register. Many of these women have university degrees. Many have licenses and qualifications to be doing other kinds of work, but they want to stay close to home. They also need salaries to stay under $10,000 year or face a peculiar Japanese tax code and insurance system that penalizes families where both partners have incomes over that amount.
Then there are my kids: Like 2/3 of Japanese women with children under 6, I stayed home when they were small. They now completely depend on me for everything. It seems to have never entered their minds that someone else could give them a bath or help them find their missing socks, mostly because no one else has ever done anything for them. Especially when they are sick, they want only me. It was very hard when my daughter was in the hospital, both children wanting to be with me and emphatic that no one else would do.
But now my youngest is in elementary school, and I would like to just be doing more of something….else, but for me to plunge into the workforce would be a huge adjustment for my children. Is it worth the stress? Can we survive what is sure to be a painful adjustment period?
Maybe if I had more family support, it would feel less impossible but as it is, it seems like everyone is against me.
Which brings me to the final characters in this comedy, my in-laws: They say they’ll watch the kids, then they change their minds. Or something better comes up. From their point of view, this house and these people are completely my responsibility. Anything they do is extra credit.
To be honest, we’re getting to the point where my in-laws need my help more than I need theirs.
They aren’t shy about letting me know my place.
One day not too long ago, my son was playing at the park with his friends. It was getting close to homework time, so I called him and told him to come home. He said he was playing with Jiji (which is an endearing term for grandfather used in our region of Japan,) and could he play for a bit longer? Since he was out with an adult, I said okay.
The next day, I got a verbal whipping from my father-in-law over the phone, accusing me of being irresponsible, a bad mother. It took me a few minutes to understand why he was saying this, but when I got to the bottom of it, I realized my son had lied to me. He was playing with his friends when Jiji walked by and told him to go home. My son told him I wasn’t at home and said he couldn’t come back until I did. (I must have called right at this point.) “How dare you not be home in the afternoon?” said Jiji.
Putting aside that none of this nonsense was true, so what if I wasn’t home in the afternoon? Of course I wouldn’t have left the kids to wander the neighborhood like stray dogs, but why was my not physically being inside my house such an issue to him? His assumption that it was my duty to be always available to everyone took me by surprise.
I could almost hear the glass door slamming again.
There are also other barriers for women in Japan—an over active PTA for one, and a myriad of community responsibilities attended to exclusively by women for another. I imagine most women in the world encounter both the “glass door” and the “glass ceiling” in some form or another, but in Japan only one of these factors is seems to be getting much attention. Building new daycare facilities isn’t enough; the government stating goals to increase women’s participation in the workforce isn’t enough. Until we do something about that glass door, nothing will change for one of the best educated, least utilized group of women in the world.
Do you feel you are fulfilling your potential, both at work and at home? What’s the situation like in your country?
This is an original post for World Moms Blog from our writer and mother of two in Japan, Melanie Oda.
If you ask Melanie Oda where she is from, she will answer "Georgia." (Unless you ask her in Japanese. Then she will say "America.") It sounds nice, and it's a one-word answer, which is what most people expect. The truth is more complex. She moved around several small towns in the south growing up. Such is life when your father is a Southern Baptist preacher of the hellfire and brimstone variety.
She came to Japan in 2000 as an assistant language teacher, and has never managed to leave. She currently resides in Yokohama, on the outskirts of Tokyo (but please don't tell anyone she described it that way! Citizens of Yokohama have a lot of pride). No one is more surprised to find her here, married to a Japanese man and with two bilingual children (aged four and seven), than herself. And possibly her mother.
You can read more about her misadventures in Asia on her blog, HamakkoMommy.
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by Nihad | Jan 7, 2015 | 2014, Awareness, Education, Egypt, Family, Life, Relationships, Womanhood, Women's Rights, World Moms Blog, World Motherhood
Happy New Year! In this season of resolutions, many of us are looking for ways to live a happier life. As a mother, I believe increasing one’s happiness is a wonderful thing to do for oneself and for one’s family–an angry, bitter and unhappy woman can never make her family happy. But how do we find our way to a happier life?
Happiness is all about us, about our mindset, what we believe and how we feel. Our circumstances, our possessions, our job and our bank account are just temporary sources of happiness. Real happiness shines from the inside out, reflecting how we feel about ourselves and how satisfied we are with who we are and how we live. As a life coach, here are 10 practices I’ve found that enhance my daily happiness.
1- Improve your self image: For me, the first and most important source of happiness is how I feel about the image I see in the mirror. How proud do I feel about myself? What kind of relationship do I have with myself? Do I offer myself love, respect, acceptance and appreciation? Or is it guilt, shame, anger, and low self esteem? Being happy with who I am is my main source of happiness.
2- Don’t seek approval of others: Many women live in a way they don’t want just to please their partner, their family, or their friends. Though this may result in short-term approval and acceptance, living according to others’ expectations will not create lasting happiness.
3- Keep your word to yourself: Learn to say NO to what is not a priority in your life. If you set a ME time for yourself ,do not give it up easily. Keeping your word to yourself will greatly enhance your feeling of self worth and self respect.
4- Eat healthy food and exercise: Healthy food will positively impact your mood and give you more energy. Working out regularly has a great effect on physical and mental health. According to a psychiatrist friend of mine, walking one hour in open air equates the effect of an antidepressant pill. So when you feel down, try going for a walk outside.
5- Let go: Let’s face it. There are some aspects of our lives we cannot control. We certainly can’t control, or change, the past. Accepting the reality that we can do nothing brings a great relief and freedom.
6- Find your passion: Working on something you love brings real satisfaction. If you haven’t yet found your passion, play around with different hobbies like making or listening to music, drawing, or writing. Expressing your thoughts and feelings in any way will help you get clear about what your passion is.
7- Keep only fulfilling relationships: Continuing with unhealthy and non-fulfilling relationships is an energy drain. See no. 3.
8- Keep a gratitude journal: Make it a habit to jot down 5 things in your life for which you are grateful. If have something you complain about all the time, follow your complaint with any positive you can find in it. Eventually, you may find a blessing in what you were complaining about.
9- LOL: Find a reason every day to laugh, and spend time with your beloved ones having fun and laughing out loud.
10- Spend some time away from media and technology: Take a brief holiday from the TV, radio, internet, even your iPhone. Spend the time working out, meeting friends, reading books, playing with your kids and pets, or taking a walk. Observe how you feel. Just few days (or even an afternoon) without media and technology will make great difference in your life and your satisfaction.
These are my tips on how to live a happier life. What are some things you do to add happiness to your life? What is your definition of happiness and do you find it easy to live according to this definition? What challenges do you face to live a happier life?
This is an original post for World Moms Blog by Nihad from Alexandria, Egypt. Nihad blogs at Aurora Beams Life Coaching.
Image courtesy of “Pretty Girl In A Hat At Sunset” by Stuart Miles, FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Nihad is an Egyptian woman, who was born and has lived her whole life in Alexandria, Egypt. She says, “People who visited this city know how charming and beautiful this city is. Although I love every city in Egypt, Alexandria is the one I love the most.”
She is a software engineer and has worked in the field for more than twenty years. But recently she quit her job, got a coaching certificate and she is now a self employed life and career coach. She says, “I believe that women in this era face big challenges and they are taking huge responsibilities. That's why I have chosen my niche -- women looking for happiness and satisfaction. I help and support them in making whatever change (career change, life change, behavior change, belief change…) they want to bring more satisfaction and happiness in their lives.”
Nihad is a mother of two lovely boys, 15 and 9 years old. She states, “They are the most precious gifts I have ever had. I madly love them, and I consider them the main source of happiness in my life.”
Our inspiring mother in Egypt can also be found at Aurora Beams Life Coaching.
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by Kirsten Doyle (Canada) | Jan 5, 2015 | Canada, Celebrations, Family
Christmas and autism are two things that don’t always go well together, because Christmas involves so many of the things that are anathema to people with autism: flashing lights, loud noises, crowds, changes to routine, the displacement of household furniture to make way for the tree. Since autism elbowed its way into my house, Christmas has been a mixture of stress and tentative enjoyment.
This year, our festive season was a little unusual. Both me and my husband were sick for most of December, and for the first time, the four of us were going to be celebrating Christmas all by ourselves. No friends, no extended family, no in-laws. Just us. I wasn’t too sure how everything would work out. The combination of autism, illness and no guests made me think that the whole Christmas thing would be a wash.
To my surprise, we ended up having the most chilled-out, magical Christmas we’ve had in a long time. When I stopped to think about why this was, I realized that what I had seen as obstacles had in fact been opportunities to do things differently – and the differences worked.
Here are some of the things that made Christmas great, in no particular order.
1. We didn’t do the Santa picture. The Santa picture is kind of a family tradition. Once a year, the kids get all dressed up in fancy outfits, and we go to the mall or some other place where Santa pictures are being taken. It’s usually a terrible ordeal that involves lots of crowds and waiting. This year, with both my husband and I being sick, Santa pictures just didn’t feature on our list of priorities, and so our family was spared an entire day of angst. We still plan to honour the family tradition and get our Santa picture, but it will be just us and a friend dressed in a Santa suit. No crowds. No lineups. No overpriced prints. No stress.
2. We didn’t stress about the shopping. In spite of my annual promises to myself, I am a last-minute Christmas shopper. This year I was filled with good intentions to get my shopping done at least two weeks before Christmas, but being sick put a spanner into that particular plan. The fact that I was stuck doing my Christmas shopping the weekend before Christmas did result in some stress, but I decided to just not care. I braved some shopping crowds, but I did not commit to getting everything for everybody. I got what I could and bought the rest from Amazon. I didn’t mind that the gifts I ordered probably wouldn’t arrive before Christmas, although in the end they did. In future years, online shopping will feature more prominently in my pre-Christmas preparations.
3. I let the kids help with the decorating. And by that I mean that I really let them help. Usually I hover anxiously around the Christmas tree micromanaging the proceedings and worrying that the tree will be knocked down. This year, I put the tinsel and lights on the tree and perched the angel on top, and then I left the rest to the kids. James hung the decorations on the tree while George put lights up around the living room. James wanted tinsel in his bedroom; George wanted lights in his. I didn’t trail behind them making sure everything was done to my liking. I left them alone to do it to their liking.
4. We totally got into the whole Santa thing. I mean, in prior years, we’ve talked about the nice list, and Santa leaving gifts under the tree, and that’s pretty much been that. This year, we really got into it. On Christmas Eve, James and I kept the NORAD site open so we could track Santa’s progress around the globe, and at bedtime, James meticulously arranged milk and treats for Santa and his reindeer. Once the kids were asleep, I managed to arrange the gifts under the tree without being busted. I even left the empty plate and milk glass on the tray for James to discover in the morning. George didn’t really get into the Santa thing, but it was a touch of magic for James.
5. There were no expectations surrounding Christmas dinner. In previous years, Christmas dinner has been a delicious but stressy affair with the four of us, my mother-law, and my brother-in-law and his family. There’s been a well-meaning but misguided expectation for the kids to get all dressed up for dinner and to sit quietly at the table for the duration of the meal. I’ve invariably spent most of these meals getting children to sit down, cajoling them to eat what’s on their plate and keeping their fingers away from other people’s plates. By the end of dinner, I have been exhausted and the kids have been wound up beyond belief. This year, it was just us. I cooked the fancy Christmas dinner and decorated the table, but the kids were allowed to wear their comfy clothes and be themselves, and the usual air of formality wasn’t there. Everyone was visibly more relaxed, and although I was still exhausted after dinner, it was a contented kind of exhaustion.
6. We didn’t try to schedule what was going to happen when. Christmas is busier for us than it is for most people, largely because of the time I decided to pop out a baby on Christmas Day. Most years, I have a stipulation that we will celebrate Christmas in the morning, and give over the afternoon to James’s birthday. That, of course, puts a lot of pressure on us to get all the Christmas stuff done before noon, and with my husband and I not feeling well, we just didn’t have the energy to rush things. So things just happened when they happened, and that worked out fine. We had a leisurely Christmas, and James enjoyed opening his birthday presents and blowing out his candles. The two celebrations kind of melted into each other, and it was perfect.
I think the biggest lesson I learned this year is that I should just chill out and go with the flow, and enjoy whatever moments end up happening.
How do your kids like the holiday season? How much planning do you do?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Kirsten Doyle of Running For Autism. Photo credit to the author.
Kirsten Doyle was born in South Africa. After completing university, she drifted for a while and finally washed up in Canada in 2000. She is Mom to two boys who have reached the stage of eating everything in sight (but still remaining skinny).
Kirsten was a computer programmer for a while before migrating into I.T. project management. Eventually she tossed in the corporate life entirely in order to be a self-employed writer and editor. She is now living her best life writing about mental health and addictions, and posting videos to two YouTube channels.
When Kirsten is not wrestling with her kids or writing up a storm, she can be seen on Toronto's streets putting many miles onto her running shoes. Every year, she runs a half-marathon to benefit children with autism, inspired by her older son who lives life on the autism spectrum.
Final piece of information: Kirsten is lucky enough to be married to the funniest guy in the world.
Connect with her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
Be sure to check out her YouTube channels at My Gen X Life and Word Salad With Coffee!
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