I studied business in college. Little did I know that I would one day become a short-order cook! Or, at least that is how I feel. With two young children and a husband who works a lot, I spend most of my days in the kitchen.
Thankfully, I love to cook! And not to brag, but I am a pretty good cook…except for the night I served “rubber chicken”, as my husband called it.
I haven’t always been good in the kitchen. When I first met my husband, my idea of cooking was dumping a bag of frozen vegetables in a wok and giving them a toss and – Voila! Dinner!
He referred to my meals has “human food” as there is “cat food” and “dog food” – something one would eat purely for survival. Thankfully, after many years together and many issues of “Bon Appetit”, I have found my inner chef — who still overcooks the chicken from time to time.
I grew up in North Eastern Pennsylvania surrounded by family and extended family. Every Sunday we all gathered at my grandparent’s home for dinner – my parents still do to this day. Each Sunday, my grandfather would cook dinner. My grandparents were first generation from Italy, and they cooked meals that their parents cooked for them.
We often ate pasta with red sauce. Every meal had a salad. I can clearly remember sneaking tastes of the red sauce as it simmered on the stove all day. And, I remember us all helping make homemade ravioli in the weeks before big holidays. This year for Christmas, my grandmother bragged that they made over 200 ravioli. My grandfather was the mastermind, and we were his line cooks.
But, I don’t remember them ever teaching me to cook. It is probably because most of the cooking was done by feel. One day I had my grandfather write down his ravioli recipe – I simply got a list of ingredients. Thanks to Ina Garten I was able to cobble together the measurements. Cooking is a skill I had to learn myself through successes and failures. And, I am hoping to teach my girls.
I have read that if you include your children in the preparation of food, they are more likely to try it. So, I have. I quickly learned probably why my grandparents didn’t involve me. Because it takes twice, sometimes, three times longer to have a child “help” you in the kitchen.
It is an activity that you need to be prepared for, and it’s best that you are not on a schedule or it be critical that what you cook is not going to be the only thing you eat for dinner.
So starting at about age 2, I have let big girl help me cook. She is usually in charge of “dumping” “castles” of flour into the bowl or “mix-a mixing” the ingredients together. She is almost always willing to get involved when I am making cookies or pancakes. When healthy, growing food is involved, she would rather go and play.
I feel it is important for my girls to eat well. So, as a rule, I serve a hot breakfast every morning. No bowls of cereal and milk in this house, which is often a hard way to start the day. (I sometimes cheat and serve frozen waffles.) I then prepare a lunch – meaning I cut up fruit and cheese or serve a bowl of yogurt. And then, I, or on pizza night, my husband, make dinner. With two snacks in between, I end up spending most of my day in the kitchen: either preparing a meal, serving a meal or cleaning up after a meal! And, as I am finishing up one, I find myself planning out the next.
My frustration with big girl runs high on the nights that she won’t eat her food. Not even a bite! I have tried hard to prepare kid-friendly meals that the whole family can eat. I really don’t want to cook two dinners every night.
But, there are often times when she won’t even try it. I have used incentives like dessert. We have tried instituting the “no thank you bite”. We have even sent her to bed without dinner. Most nights she simply eats a bowl of yogurt since I refuse to cook or prepare her anything else. Thankfully, little girl will eat anything and will often clear her plate and big girl’s, too.
The other night my husband made them pizza for dinner. Big girl declared, “Dad, you did a good job”. I jokingly thought, what about me? I cook for you every night! I am not looking for a thank you or a pat on the back. What would mean more to me is if they learned a few recipes from our past and appreciate food for its nutrition and flavor!
Do you get your children involved in the cooking?
And, do you find yourself cooking two dinners every night to agree with everyone’s taste buds?
This has been an original post for World Moms Blog by A. Roselyn of California, USA.
Photo credit to http://www.flickr.com/photos/whitneyinchicago/3932950246/. This photo has a creative commons attribution license.
A. Roselyn,
I understand your pain! There are a lot of things that my husband doesn’t eat, too. I sometimes found myself making pasta with 3 types of sauces — one for me, one for him, one for our daughter. I thought…this has to stop!
So, I had to come up with more dinners that we all can eat. It’s a challenge! But, luckily, both of them have been opening up their taste buds to new foods over the years. And, when I can, I serve my daughter and I the foods that I crave and that he doesn’t eat during lunch when he’s at work.
I love cooking with my daughter! But, you are so right — it requires LOTS of patience!! “Mommy, can I crack the egg? Can I crack the egg? Can I crack the egg?” And, a lot of clean up! 🙂
Veronica Samuels 🙂
Veronica – Sorry to hear that you have a picky husband, too 🙂 I am learning tricks to make family dinners more appealing to all. For example, I made bean soup last night but I left out the tomatoes (high in acid) and kale (green yucky stuff) until after I served the girls. I am also very thankful that little girl will eat (almost) anything 🙂
Great post! A few years back I visited home and copied several recipes down from my 1st generation grandmother’s cookbooks. There were lots of things like “cook til it’s done” and even one saying to “stir with a big stick.”
My 1st son is so picky, and I do make him his own dinner each night different from my own. But I have to keep remembering I have a fresh start with my second son (now 10 months and very much into any table food). Yesterday I went out to lunch with him and gave him some of my moussaka. He loved it!
Great post! A few years back I visited home and copied several recipes down from my 1st generation grandmother’s cookbooks. There were lots of things like “cook til it’s done” and even one saying to “stir with a big stick.”
My 1st son is so picky, and I do make him his own dinner each night different from my own. But I have to keep remembering I have a fresh start with my second son (now 10 months and very much into any table food). Yesterday I went out to lunch with him and gave him some of my moussaka. He loved it!
Tara – I am not sure why our little girl will eat anything. I did a lot of things differently with her – she eats every meal with us (vs in the high chair in the corner), she is at the table (we have a stokee tripp trapp vs, again, not in the corner alone), and I feed her often from my plate. Big girl has just never really been into food and always preferred bland/plain. Little girl never liked baby cereal and was always excited to eat. Good luck to you the second time around! I know how hard it is to be making multiple meals.
Tara – I am not sure why our little girl will eat anything. I did a lot of things differently with her – she eats every meal with us (vs in the high chair in the corner), she is at the table (we have a stokee tripp trapp vs, again, not in the corner alone), and I feed her often from my plate. Big girl has just never really been into food and always preferred bland/plain. Little girl never liked baby cereal and was always excited to eat. Good luck to you the second time around! I know how hard it is to be making multiple meals.
A. Roselyn,
Full disclosure, I work for Stokke and really enjoyed your creativity with the family meals + was thrilled to read your endorsement of our Tripp Trapp chair.
In the U.S. our traditional notion of a high chair (usually a plastic behemoth too) with a tray that unfortunately causes the child to be ostracized from the family table is what most new mothers feel is an essential part of introducing baby to solid foods. Our chair is the antithesis of that traditional design we all grew up with.
Tripp Trapp allows baby to join the all important gathering around the family table, creating a sense of closeness to learn and develop right beside you.
Thank you.
Charlotte –
Thank you for the reply. I, obviously, love the tripp trapp! With my first, big girl, we use the Svan – because it allowed for a tray in the front, she sat in the corner of the kitchen and ate alone. Little girl has used tripp trapp from the start. And yes, she is a better eater and I do believe that sitting at the family table, eating meals with all of us, and sampling from my plate has really made a difference. Thank you for making this great product.
Sometimes I will cook separate meals for the kids, depending on what we are planning to eat ourselves. For instance, if we’re having pizza, everyone has pizza. If we’re eating something hot and spicy, like curry or chilli, I’ll prepare something milder for the boys.
My older son used to be the pickiest eater on the planet, partly due to sensory issues relating to his autism. I give him a break when I’m trying to get him to eat something new, but when I’m giving him food that he’s eaten before, my approach is simple: he can choose whether or not to eat the food, but if he doesn’t, he doesn’t get anything else. If he wants to be hungry, he can be hungry. Sounds cavalier, I know, but it cured him of his pickiness, and now there are very few things he won’t eat, and those refusals are sensory-based.
Now my younger son has started going through the picky phase and I’m using the same approach.
I admire you for taking the time to cook proper meals for your family. I do my best, but in general, I try to get out of the kitchen as fast as possible!
Kirsten
Sometimes I will cook separate meals for the kids, depending on what we are planning to eat ourselves. For instance, if we’re having pizza, everyone has pizza. If we’re eating something hot and spicy, like curry or chilli, I’ll prepare something milder for the boys.
My older son used to be the pickiest eater on the planet, partly due to sensory issues relating to his autism. I give him a break when I’m trying to get him to eat something new, but when I’m giving him food that he’s eaten before, my approach is simple: he can choose whether or not to eat the food, but if he doesn’t, he doesn’t get anything else. If he wants to be hungry, he can be hungry. Sounds cavalier, I know, but it cured him of his pickiness, and now there are very few things he won’t eat, and those refusals are sensory-based.
Now my younger son has started going through the picky phase and I’m using the same approach.
I admire you for taking the time to cook proper meals for your family. I do my best, but in general, I try to get out of the kitchen as fast as possible!
Kirsten
Thanks for sharing Kristen – I do think it is cavalier to send a little one away hungry. I don’t have it in me since getting big girl just to eat ANYTHING is a big deal. So my back up is yogurt – if she doesn’t like the meal served, that is all she can have.
It’s really more of a diner at my house, my boys are older (15 and 9) and pretty picky. I have long given up on trying to get them to eat what I cook. My youngest loves to help out though and he swears my scrambled eggs and sweet potato pie are the best ever.
I love that you had family dinners at your grandparents home. What a special childhood memory. I also love that you include your daughters with cooking. My two daughters love to mix and stir. I have my 5 year-old measure the ingredients and tell her that math is fun, it helps us bake cookies!
I adore your descriptions of the big family meals, gathering your grandfather’s recipes and inviting your little ones into the kitchen! That’s the good stuff right there! 🙂
I’m a little behind on my reading, but loved your post! How awesome that you had the opportunity to have family gatherings for dinner at your grandparents and eat their delicious home cooking 🙂
I too love cooking and baking, and just hate when I have to rush to make dinner after work because the kids are hungry. Last Sunday my husband was playing with our oldest and the little one was napping. Sinatra was on the radio and I was having glass of Merlot while chopping up veggies to cook dinner. I was in heaven!
My 4 yo has started to ask to ask “can I help?” when I cook, and I don’t want to discourage it, so I try to let her do what is safest (measuring, mixing non-hot ingredients, etc.). It certainly can be frustrating when it takes longer, but I do think it’s worth it in the end.
And to answer your question, I DO NOT make two meals to cater to the different palates. That is just way too much work. Luckily my 4 yo loves a little treat (a cookie or piece of chocolate) after dinner, and she knows that if she doesn’t finish her dinner, no treat. That is HUGE for her. I don’t think it will be an issue with my 9 month old, as she is already a better eater than her sister is.