In the fall of 2007, when our daughter was just 16 months old, my husband studied the fall semester of his two-year Masters of Business Administration program abroad in Beijing, China. He left in September, so he could settle in and get the majority of his fall semester completed. Then in November, my daughter and I planned to join him for the last two months.
As most mother’s know, traveling with kids can test your moral fiber.
So, imagine the daunting prospect of a solo, 14-hour, transpacific flight with a “lap infant” (meaning, in order to fly our daughter over for free, I had to risk traveling with her on my lap if the flight was full). My biggest tests were: my lap infant was actually an active and inquisitive toddler and the flight was full.
But desperate means call for desperate measures.
Typical toddler attention spans run about 5-10 minutes per activity. I anticipated our 14-hour flight would look something like this: 1 period of night-time sleep=8-10 hours; 2 meals=30 minutes; 4 journeys up and down the aisles=40 minutes; bathroom visits, diaper changes and miscellany=20 minutes. That left me with roughly 210 unaccounted for minutes to fill with activities.
I solicited friends, family, mom groups, pediatricians and educators for ideas. Since we hadn’t yet exposed our child to TV, I didn’t bother packing movies. Instead, I packed two carry-on suitcases.
One with diapers, toiletries and a change of clothes; the other with: lacing cards, crayons, markers, string, large beads, flavored O-shaped cereals, snacks, treats, magnetic books, cohesive play scenes (also known as Colorforms here in the US), stickers, snap beads, picture books, wind up toys, a few wrapped items and Children’s Benadryl (an allergy medication renowned for causing drowsiness and used, in moderation, ONLY under dyer circumstances).
Somehow we survived the flight.
For the first half of my husband’s semester abroad, he lived in a matchbox-sized dorm room on the campus of the business school where he was studying. In preparation for our visit, he had been scouring Chinese message boards for posts on short-term housing. He visited at least half a dozen before he landed on a gold mine. He found an affluent, older Chinese woman who had a one-bedroom apartment available for sublet in the Jianguomenwai Diplomatic Residence Compound.
This compound was where all foreign diplomats and members of the International Press Corps had to live during the post-Cultural Revolution years from 1980 to the early 2000’s. It is located in the heart of Beijing’s diplomatic quadrant, off the Second Ring Road within walking distance to the Forbidden City, Tiananmen Square, parks, playgrounds and a multitude of international restaurants.
The apartment had a good layout with a large central living area, a master bedroom, a medium-sized kitchen and a large utility closet off to one side. The utility closet–with the addition of a child-sized travel bed (the Peapod by KidCo)–became a toddler room.
November in Beijng marks the end of smoggy, hazy fall with a precipitous slide into cold, dusty winter. Within two weeks of our arrival, temperatures plummeted from the upper 60s Fahrenheit to the 40s. When it was warm, I entertained my daughter on the large playground within the residential compound or down the street at the famous and beautiful Ritan Park. When temperatures dropped, I discovered other nearby and more modern Expat compounds with indoor playspaces and foreign amenities.
Though I met and saw a myriad foreign kids, it was hard to meet any of their moms because nannies, or ayis [aunties], as they’re known, are affordable and ubiquitous. By affordable, I mean even we could afford one.
By week three, I had secured the name of a reputable ayi service, interviewed, checked references of and hired an ayi. For roughly the equivalent of US$2.25/hour our ayi cleaned our apartment, did dishes, washed laundry and folded clothes. She watched our child, purchased our food and prepared outstanding, traditional Chinese meals. I got very spoiled.
I gained many insights from our experience in China including, the value of a packable travel bed, the importance of having childcare so I could explore our exotic locale, the impact that immersing a child in a foreign culture has on developing language skills and the priceless gift the experience had on all of us.
If an opportunity to go overseas for any extended (more than two weeks) period of time should present itself in your life, I hope you’ll seriously consider seizing the day. At the time, two months felt like a lifetime and certainly, in the life of an 18-month-old, it was 1/9th of hers. But, looking back, it went by in a blink. In many ways it was like any other part of motherhood, I suppose, when a day can feel like a year, but somehow a year flies by in a day.
Do you have any tips for traveling with children?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Kyla P’an of Massachusetts, USA. Kyla can also be found on her blog, Growing Muses.
Photo credit to Kyla P’an.
Kyla P'an (Portugal)
Kyla was born in suburban Philadelphia but spent most of her time growing up in New England. She took her first big, solo-trip at age 14, when she traveled to visit a friend on a small Greek island. Since then, travels have included: three months on the European rails, three years studying and working in Japan, and nine months taking the slow route back from Japan to the US when she was done. In addition to her work as Managing Editor of World Moms Network, Kyla is a freelance writer, copy editor, recovering triathlete and occasional blogger. Until recently, she and her husband resided outside of Boston, Massachusetts, where they were raising two spunky kids, two frisky cats, a snail, a fish and a snake. They now live outside of Lisbon, Portugal with two spunky teens and three frisky cats. You can read more about Kyla’s outlook on the world and parenting on her personal blogs, Growing Muses And Muses Where We Go
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I think I can relate with you on travelling with a toddler. Recently I had to travel around 8-9 hours by car, with my 10 month old in my lap (we are in India and car seats are not mandatory here), and every few minutes he wanted to sit with his Dad at the wheel or slide down from my lap and stand on the car floor.
Whoa! Have you thought about blogging with us? I bet you are a wealth of fascinating experiences. India is such an amazing country but I can’t imagine trying a 10 hour car trip even with a child strapped into a car seat, let alone on a lap. Thanks for sharing that with us and thanks for reading World Moms Blog. Hope to see more of you around the World!
I don’t have children, but have traveled a good bit internationally with pets. For some tips on taking your dog to Asia, see my post called “An unfortunate incident involving the international trafficking of canines and what I haven’t learned since then.”
Best Wishes from Haiti,
Kathy
http://www.reinventingtheeventhorizon.wordpress.com/2010/11/22/an-unfortunate-incident-involving-the-international-trafficking-of-canines-and-what-i-havent-learned-since-then/
Kathryn, thanks for reading and for sharing your experiences traveling to Asia. I will check out your post. Hope you’re doing well down in Haiti. Keep us posted
Wow – a 14 hour flight… I am very impressed. The longest we have tried is a 6 hour flight, and we were absolutely exhausted! The only thing our one year old likes to do is “walk” with us holding his hands, which isn’t easy up and down the aisle of a full flight… Would love to hear more about how it was to live in china though!
Asta
Thanks Asta, let’s face it, most of us want to travel but few of us look forward to the journey these days. It’s a shame too because my mantra in my twenties was “Enjoy the journey, not just the destination.” Two hours seems to be the ideal travel time with young kids but we can’t get very far (at least not over here in the States) in two hours. At least if you’ve gotta have a long journey, make it worth it and spend as much time there as possible!
what a wondeful experience!!! I loved reading this!
Thanks Jen
Kyla,
14 hours with a 16 month old on your lap — wow!! Glad you did it and got to have such a great international experience. Great post! 🙂
Veronica Samuels 🙂
Kyla,
14 hours with a 16 month old on your lap — wow!! Glad you did it and got to have such a great international experience. Great post! 🙂
Veronica Samuels 🙂
Lord, I cannot imagine. I think you are very brave. The worst I’ve had to endure is an 11-hour drive squashed in the back seat between two refusing-to-sleep boys!
Kirsten
Umm, that sounds pretty terrible. At least mine slept for more than half of the flight. It was daunting on the outset but the rewards, photos and memories are worth their weight in gold (and valume)
Lord, I cannot imagine. I think you are very brave. The worst I’ve had to endure is an 11-hour drive squashed in the back seat between two refusing-to-sleep boys!
Kirsten
Umm, that sounds pretty terrible. At least mine slept for more than half of the flight. It was daunting on the outset but the rewards, photos and memories are worth their weight in gold (and valume)
Well done on making this happen! It is so easy to be overwhelemed by traveling with little ones, but sometimes you just have to make it happen to reap the rewards. In your case, that was a worthwhile international stay! What a gift for your child (and you!). I have never been on a flight that long with a little one, but I have flown alot from the West to East coast and back again in the USA with my 1st son. I would plan and stress so much getting prepared, but most times it all just had a way of working out, even with mutliple lay overs and such. I also have been very fortunate with the passengers seatest closest to us. I never got an eye roll or frustrated grunt. When my son was in a big “kick the seat in front” phase, my husband offered to swap seats with the older gentleman seated in front of my son, explaining my toddler would be kicking off and on for the next 5 hours. The man said he was an experienced grandfather and told us it wouldn’t be a problem no matter how much my son kicked. So thank you also to all those patient passengers who have been there and support kid travel!
Amen sister! pleasant co-passengers and helpful seatmates can make all of the difference. On a recent 4.5 hour flight to Florida, my son (then just a year) was asleep in the Ergo while my daughter (4), seated next to me requested a trip to the lav. The very kind, father-of-two seated on the aisle (who was flying down to join his wife and children) offered to take her for me and then helped set her up with a film on the computer when they got back. Let us indeed pay homage to all of those compassionate souls out there and may they always be on our flights!
Well done on making this happen! It is so easy to be overwhelemed by traveling with little ones, but sometimes you just have to make it happen to reap the rewards. In your case, that was a worthwhile international stay! What a gift for your child (and you!). I have never been on a flight that long with a little one, but I have flown alot from the West to East coast and back again in the USA with my 1st son. I would plan and stress so much getting prepared, but most times it all just had a way of working out, even with mutliple lay overs and such. I also have been very fortunate with the passengers seatest closest to us. I never got an eye roll or frustrated grunt. When my son was in a big “kick the seat in front” phase, my husband offered to swap seats with the older gentleman seated in front of my son, explaining my toddler would be kicking off and on for the next 5 hours. The man said he was an experienced grandfather and told us it wouldn’t be a problem no matter how much my son kicked. So thank you also to all those patient passengers who have been there and support kid travel!
Amen sister! pleasant co-passengers and helpful seatmates can make all of the difference. On a recent 4.5 hour flight to Florida, my son (then just a year) was asleep in the Ergo while my daughter (4), seated next to me requested a trip to the lav. The very kind, father-of-two seated on the aisle (who was flying down to join his wife and children) offered to take her for me and then helped set her up with a film on the computer when they got back. Let us indeed pay homage to all of those compassionate souls out there and may they always be on our flights!
You are so brave to have done this, and it was obviously an amazing experience for your entire family! This is really a “once in a lifetime” type of trip, and you really made the most of it.
Thanks for your kind words! For all of our sakes, I hope it wasn’t a once-in-a-lifetime trip, since both my husband and I strive to live overseas with our kids sometime in the near future but it certainly was a first-in-a-lifetime experience for all of us.
Kyla, This was a great read and WOW what a great experience! I’m impressed with your “Go for it” attitude. It rocks. That is all. 🙂
Well thanks so much. May we all always Carpe Diem!
Kyla, This was a great read and WOW what a great experience! I’m impressed with your “Go for it” attitude. It rocks. That is all. 🙂
Wow, you did an amazing job, that far with a toddler on your own!
We travelled a lot with our eldest child – from NZ to the US when she was 3 months old (to the East Coast, no less!), then from there to Europe and around the US often, plus a couple of trips back to Australia and NZ. We have even been to the US East Coast with 2 kids, and I can tell you that babies and small children with jet-lag are NO FUN. Even my darling little brilliant sleepers were up bouncing in their beds and laughing at each other’s antics at 2:30am, and you can’t reason them into being quiet.
The worst flight was actually a 3 1/2-hour trip to Australia with three children – two were under two, so we had three seats for five people, and the toddler tantrumed the whole time, the baby nursed the whole time, and the flight attendants kept trying to give us hot drinks. 😀
My advice: stock up on patience! and be as nice to your fellow-travellers as possible. Be seen to be attempting to amuse/control/distract your children. Order children’s meals for long-haul flights, and take small “new” things to produce out of your hat when distraction is needed (a pack of crayons and a pad of paper, or a small book, or little toy).
While you’re there, take lots of photos of things your child is interested in (rocks, whatever) as well as the landmarks – and your family in the new place. When you get home, stick them into a book and write a story about the trip to help your child re-live and remember it. Include the airplane trip and people you met.
The joy of seeing a new place through your children’s eyes will make all the travel hassle well worth it.
(Sorry, long comment, almost a blog post of its own!)
comments that turn in to blog posts are really at the core of this whole revolution, don’t you think? Sounds like you’ve done some pretty road-weary trips yourself. The angst you must have been under during that flight to OZ is almost palpable. Sounds like the flight attendants should have been trying to give you cocktails rather than hot beverages. Thanks for all of the great tips, may they help fellow readers and travelers too. Keep flying!