We live in a world of iPads, flat screen televisions, smartphones, GPS navigation systems, electric cars, the Internet.
Our children are growing up in the fast-moving digital age.
Our children are growing up watching television, loving shows like Barney, Sesame Street, Baby Einstein, Dora the Explorer, Spongebob Squarepants and many more. They’re growing up learning the alphabet with Elmo using the iPad. They’re growing up learning to use a smartphone before they can even talk.
There is much dialogue about the extent of technology our children are immersed in, whether voluntarily, as permitted by their parents, or involuntarily, where they’re surrounded by these things when they go to school, to a mall, or even, their friends’ homes.
My son is 17.5 months old, and he can operate the television remote control. He knows how to activate my Android phone by swiping the lock key from left to right with his finger. Similarly, he knows how to use the iPad’s touchscreen with his ever handy finger – swiping the screen, pressing on the relevant applications, even pressing the Home button to exit an application.
Before long, he’ll be programming his own software.
Alright, that’s exaggeration, but truly, sometimes I worry that I’m allowing my child to be too involved in the digital world. I don’t even want to think about him being old enough to get on the computer and start using the Internet. That’s another world out there, and another post in the future!
However, I do not want to deny him of any of the technology I mentioned earlier. It is inevitable that as he gets older, he will be doing more of television watching, iPad playing and smartphone usage.
The trick here, is to get right, the balance of these activities, with traditional activities all children should be involved in. I want to ensure that my son is physically, mentally, emotionally and socially stimulated with the right tools.
He is at an age where his physical movements are fast improving – walking, running, climbing, jumping. His language skills are accelerating, adding more and more words to his burgeoning vocabulary, talking is second nature now. Emotionally, he has on occasion thrown temper tantrums when he does not get his way. He is learning to be aware of others, to share, to be jealous, to be anxious when separated from me, or his father. He is learning to potty train fully, to sleep on his own. He is learning to be independent.
He is learning, learning, learning.
Remember when we were toddlers? When we were kids? When we were teenagers?
How did we learn?
We played in the sandbox to learn about textures. We learned to stack blocks. We learned to sort shapes with shape sorter toys. We played with water, using cups and other vessels to learn about volume. We learned to open and close lids on boxes, to remove and replace objects in those boxes. We learned to draw with crayons on paper. We learned to read with picture books. We played with doll houses, train sets, jigsaw puzzles, board games. We played on swings, see saws and merry-go-rounds.
Nowadays, toddlers can learn to count, learn to say the ABCs, learn to draw, learn their first words and recognize animal sounds, all on the iPad. At the touch of a screen, you can download all kinds of applications for your child. It is amazing, and a little scary.
Children’s television programs are abundant. From educational to entertaining, there is a variety out there. I do not claim to be the kind of parent who denies my son television. I admit, he does get some television time in a day. He may not sit in a trance like a couch potato to watch ‘Elmo’s World’, but the TV is on in the background most mornings.
The key here is balance.
We want him to learn how to navigate the digital world. We also want him to play with traditional toys. We let him watch some television, but we also make sure he goes outside and plays with swings, slides, monkey bars, and get some fresh air. We let him play with the piano application on the iPad, but we also ensure he plays with the actual toy piano, one he can touch, feel the keys. How the keys give under the light pressure of his fingers.
When he’s older, we will eventually let him spend time on a laptop when he’s much older, but we will also want him to learn how to use his hands, like fix a motorcycle, as his father loves off-road biking.
As parents, we need to be the ones who strike the right balance for our children. Good luck to you. And to me!
Are you concerned about the amount of technology your children are involved in? How do you ensure the right balance of television, computer games and the Internet, with more traditional means of play and entertainment?Â
This has been an original post to World Moms Blog by Alison Lee in Kuala-Lumpur, Malaysia. She can also be found blogging at Mama Wants This!Â
Photo credit to the author.Â
Alison
Alison is a former PR professional turned stay-at-home mother to two boys. Growing up in a small city of Ipoh, Malaysia, Alison left home at 17 to pursue her studies in the big city of Kuala Lumpur. At 19, she headed to University of Leeds in England and graduated with a degree in Communications. Returning home to Malaysia in 1999, she began a 10-year career in public relations, event planning, and marketing, working for various PR agencies and one of the world's biggest sports brands. After a decade of launch parties and product launches, concerts and award shows, international press junkets and world travel, Alison traded all that in for a life as a first time mother in 2009, and has not looked back since. Aside from writing for her blog, Writing, Wishing, Alison is the Founder and chief social media strategist for Little Love Media.
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Balance is necessary but I think as moms we have to have it in our lives too before we can teach it to our kids. My daughter is 2 and sometimes I think she can do more with my iPhone than I can and that is saying something.
Yes, you’re right Jessica. We do need to know more about the stuff they come into contact with before they do. I think it means your daughter is claiming your iPhone as her own 🙂
Balance is necessary but I think as moms we have to have it in our lives too before we can teach it to our kids. My daughter is 2 and sometimes I think she can do more with my iPhone than I can and that is saying something.
I too let my kids dabble in today’s technology. They also have toys and we spend a large amount of time outdoors. I agree, it’s all about finding that perfect balance.
Dabbling is okay I think. As long as they also go outside and play, like real kids 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and reading!
I too let my kids dabble in today’s technology. They also have toys and we spend a large amount of time outdoors. I agree, it’s all about finding that perfect balance.
Everything in moderation is what I live by. I try not to let my kids play with such devices when we’re eating out and I see many kids doing that nowadays. I have specific times they can play with computer games, watch cartoons and educational programmes. Balance and control.
Good strategy. Having said that, I think some parents stick a device in front of a child at meal times when they’re out, to distract them. Some kids do act out when they’re eating out!
My 3 year old was asking me how whales sleep a few months ago. When I said I don’t know, he said to check the phone. No secret there, google is bookmarked on my smart phone. In fact most of my brain is stored in that little mobile. And I grew up playing in the sandbox. So I believe our kids will very likely be programing software by 5.
I rely a lot on Google too! My plan is to memorize as much as possible before my son is capable of asking me questions 🙂
My 3 year old was asking me how whales sleep a few months ago. When I said I don’t know, he said to check the phone. No secret there, google is bookmarked on my smart phone. In fact most of my brain is stored in that little mobile. And I grew up playing in the sandbox. So I believe our kids will very likely be programing software by 5.
I don’t have a dog in this fight, so to speak, but I can say that I’m absolutely AMAZED by how advanced children are when it comes to technology. It makes no sense to me that they can operate computers and phones and television sets – things that can sometimes stump US, yet can’t master soothing themselves to sleep or potty training. So weird. I’ve learned so many things about my phone my my friend’s kids. And, if they were old enough to talk to TELL me what they did, I’d probably know even more! Ha! 🙂
Yes! It is truly amazing how they can figure these things out and still have trouble going to the toilet on their own 😉 I think technology really is becoming remarkably accessible and intuitive.
Honestly, as parents we have been purposely slow on the uptake of as many gadgets as possible…much to the chagrin of our kids (“But Mom, everyone has one. I want one”).
And you hit the nail on the head, balance IS key.
Although, sometimes a smart-ass response like, “How does it feel to want”? followed by a pretend evil laugh, nips things in the bud too (but my kids are older, so I can get away with that…)
LOL! I’ll have to remember that for when my son is older 🙂
Honestly, as parents we have been purposely slow on the uptake of as many gadgets as possible…much to the chagrin of our kids (“But Mom, everyone has one. I want one”).
And you hit the nail on the head, balance IS key.
Although, sometimes a smart-ass response like, “How does it feel to want”? followed by a pretend evil laugh, nips things in the bud too (but my kids are older, so I can get away with that…)
LOL! I’ll have to remember that for when my son is older 🙂
Great topic and writing, as always, Alison! I think you hit the nail on the head here- it’s not that technology is bad. In fact, it would be wrong to deny our kids access to something that is so clearly here to stay. It’s just that balance is key. In everything. XO
Yes, that’s exactly what I was saying, Galit! Thank you for getting it 🙂
Alison,
Way to go! I’ve been thinking about technology and kids a lot lately. I think the type of technology plays a big part, too. If it’s a mindless computer game, I’m not a fan. But, I’ve found some fun apps on the iPad for learning French for my daughter. She also loves the “Cut the Rope” game, which is challenging (even for me!).
But, when I think we’re relying TOO MUCH on it, I have learned to set limits and turn things off. I struggle with that balance you speak of!
Thank you for another thought-provoking post!
Also, all of our technology talks, here, on the blog always get me really thinking!! Karyn @kloppenmum from New Zealand told us last week how she eliminated technology all together. You can find her post here: http://worldmomsblog.com/2011/06/08/new-zealand-open-or-closed-what-do-you-think/
Jen Burden 🙂
Hi Jen! Yes, it does depend on the type of technology and how it’s being employed. Just like the Internet, there’s so much that’s good about it, yet dangers lurk for our children. We just have to be mindful when it comes to what we technology we expose them too.
Karyn’s post was very interesting, thanks for highlighting it again for those who might have missed it,
We’re a family of iPad and iPhone users, and the baby has taken over each one. However, he still loves his cars, balls, tennis racquet, and basketball goal. He spent a very long 20 minutes yesterday screaming while looking for (Toy Story) Woody’s hat. We never found it, it was a hand-me-down, what can I say?
Kids learn from what’s available to them. My opinion: make as much available to them as the budget will allow, then set boundaries (no screens past 7:30 bc Ehren won’t go the f**k to sleep ’til midnight). If I had the energy, I’d write a post about it like you have, Alison, but you are slightly more awesome than I am.
Great post.
Thanks Erica! I would encourage you to write that post, because I think it would be awesome 🙂 And you’re right, kids do learn from what is made available to them. We are the gatekeepers, which is why I feel it’s important we are mindful of what we let through to them. Thanks for reading!
We’re a family of iPad and iPhone users, and the baby has taken over each one. However, he still loves his cars, balls, tennis racquet, and basketball goal. He spent a very long 20 minutes yesterday screaming while looking for (Toy Story) Woody’s hat. We never found it, it was a hand-me-down, what can I say?
Kids learn from what’s available to them. My opinion: make as much available to them as the budget will allow, then set boundaries (no screens past 7:30 bc Ehren won’t go the f**k to sleep ’til midnight). If I had the energy, I’d write a post about it like you have, Alison, but you are slightly more awesome than I am.
Great post.
Thanks Erica! I would encourage you to write that post, because I think it would be awesome 🙂 And you’re right, kids do learn from what is made available to them. We are the gatekeepers, which is why I feel it’s important we are mindful of what we let through to them. Thanks for reading!
I never thought about being their gatekeepers for what’s introduced to them, but you’re right: I have Net Nanny on the teen’s laptop, restricted downloading on the tween’s PC and, boy, do I have to watch Ehren’s browsing YouTube on my iPhone. When did Dora the Explorer become a pregnant heroin addict, and how did I miss that?
What you call gatekeeping, I’d been calling common sense, but I like your term better. It’s catchy.
Balance is key! My kids play a bicycling game on Wii, but of course we still ride actual bikes. It is fun and it does help them with hand eye coordination, but it is no substitute for actually getting on a bike. Besides all that, it is fun!! Nothing wrong with fun. It is a great to do on a rainy day, too. I do believe in balance and agree that is the key to staying healthy. I think kids needs to be exposed to technology, so they are not lost in our society. On the other hand, some old school freeze tag outside is fantastic! The more things kids are exposed to, the more connections they make in their brain, giving them more potential in life. I am not suggesting you throw things at them all at once, but take them places, do things with them, let them try things, etc. This is how we learn!
Yes, you’re right Maggie. Not just balance, but moderation. Good point!
Balance is key! My kids play a bicycling game on Wii, but of course we still ride actual bikes. It is fun and it does help them with hand eye coordination, but it is no substitute for actually getting on a bike. Besides all that, it is fun!! Nothing wrong with fun. It is a great to do on a rainy day, too. I do believe in balance and agree that is the key to staying healthy. I think kids needs to be exposed to technology, so they are not lost in our society. On the other hand, some old school freeze tag outside is fantastic! The more things kids are exposed to, the more connections they make in their brain, giving them more potential in life. I am not suggesting you throw things at them all at once, but take them places, do things with them, let them try things, etc. This is how we learn!
Yes, you’re right Maggie. Not just balance, but moderation. Good point!
Interesting timing – my son’s 3rd birthday was on Monday, and he got a whole bunch of building toys – sets with wooden pieces and bolts and nuts and screws and tools to put together whatever he can imagine. He’s been totally immersed in it since.
Just before that, we got him a LeapFrog computer thingy for our road trip, and I think it was a little over his head. Or not interactive enough, or too repetitive or something. We also got him a robot with different cards to use for learning activities, and he quite likes that one. But still, given the choice, he’ll go to the things you can build or make or create with, and I like that. (Plus it makes me feel less guilty for thinking that he probably has the tv on too much!)
It’s great to hear that your son gravitated more towards a more traditional toy. There’s nothing like doing something with your hands, right? Imagine life with Play-Doh! 🙂
My daughter is almost 14 months and she knows how the remote controler works, She doesn’t completly know which button is for what but she knows that she needs to press something in order to turn it on or off… or change something…
She spends almost the entire day with our TV on… but she doesn’t care much about it. She doesn’t have many playing/singing toys… she has teddy bears, balls, and cups which she LOVES.
but… YES… I am so afraid of the days when she’ll start using the Internet… I have no idea (for now) how to teach her to use it the proper way… I’m really scared… There is so many terrible things, and people in there and it’s a click away… it’s crazy!
It’s a natural fear, with children using the Internet. i believe there are programs that monitor and control your child’s computer/ Internet activity, so you will have plenty of help and options when the time comes!
My daughter is almost 14 months and she knows how the remote controler works, She doesn’t completly know which button is for what but she knows that she needs to press something in order to turn it on or off… or change something…
She spends almost the entire day with our TV on… but she doesn’t care much about it. She doesn’t have many playing/singing toys… she has teddy bears, balls, and cups which she LOVES.
but… YES… I am so afraid of the days when she’ll start using the Internet… I have no idea (for now) how to teach her to use it the proper way… I’m really scared… There is so many terrible things, and people in there and it’s a click away… it’s crazy!
It’s a natural fear, with children using the Internet. i believe there are programs that monitor and control your child’s computer/ Internet activity, so you will have plenty of help and options when the time comes!
Yes, I definitely think balance is important. I didn’t let my son play on the computer or use the ipod until last summer, before he started school. I really didn’t want him to start using technology, but it’s all around us, and he’s going to grow up with it. So, I thought it was important to expose him to it.
I always try to find something educational for him. He loves being on the computer the most, but I definitely limit his time, and I make sure we do other educational stuff that’s not on the computer or on an app, and I definitely make sure we go outside and play A LOT.
Jackie, that’s great to know that you do create a balance between time on the computer with time outside. Thanks for reading and commenting!
I think balance is important but for me it’s a struggle – I’m an all or nothing kind of girl, so that’s why we had to oust our TV set and place some pretty clear restrictions on their use of technology. I think you’re right though – balance is key. My own problem is I’m not truly capable of balance and moderation so I can’t really model it for my kids! Terrible but true.
I grew up w. my mom (who had a PhD from UC Berkeley…was no dummy that’s for sure) watching soap operas pretty much 24/7 during the day when she wasn’t teaching. Soaps – the dumbest mind-fluff in the whole world – escapism. I have nothing against them – she was from another generation – but when you picture the amount of brains inside my mother’s head that were being totally wasted by The Days of Our Lives – I cringe.
Also I have a real aversion to TV because of how my mother disappeared into ours. I don’t want to model that for my kids. That said, if I could do what you do and model balance – I’d have a TV. But I can’t so I don’t! (-: Great post as always…
Thanks Ado, for weighing in. TV is hard, because it’s so present. And when they learn to turn it on themselves, it’s a constant battle. I’m not there yet as my son is so young, but I hope when the time comes, we don’t have to oust the TV completely, and be able to rationalize and discuss appropriate TV time. I haven’t completely managed the balance yet, but I certainly aspire to it!
Way to provoke a great conversation! We are a techy household.. My husband works in the video game industry, so there will be always some level of gaming and messin with gadgets. But as with many responders here, we make sure that if our young boys are watching tv or playing a game, it’s educational and their time is limited. I also will forego a tv show at certain times because I know I will need it later (i.e. when I am unpacking groceries from the car or need to schedule doctor’s appointments). There are times where I need 20 minutes uninterrupted time, so I save the screen time for then. But on long car trips or plane travel…anything goes 😉
We are a very techy household, which is what prompted this post. I think it’s great that you limit TV time, and make it a ‘treat’ so to speak. As for travel – well, we do what we have to! 🙂
Way to provoke a great conversation! We are a techy household.. My husband works in the video game industry, so there will be always some level of gaming and messin with gadgets. But as with many responders here, we make sure that if our young boys are watching tv or playing a game, it’s educational and their time is limited. I also will forego a tv show at certain times because I know I will need it later (i.e. when I am unpacking groceries from the car or need to schedule doctor’s appointments). There are times where I need 20 minutes uninterrupted time, so I save the screen time for then. But on long car trips or plane travel…anything goes 😉
I think it is a difficult balance to get right – and in our house it differs from day to day… But most days we allow tv for half an hour – but if the wee lad is busy playing then we don’t turn the tv on at all. He has started asking if he can watch telly, by sitting down in front of it and pointing, but so far we haven’t given it to it yet (unless it is 5:30pm and his program is on). We have not let him play with the iPad yet, but I think it is just a matter of time. We are flying to France in a couple of weeks, and we are planning to fill the iPad with games and videos in case he gets fidgety which he is very likely to be…
I think exceptions can be made in the case of a flight 🙂
After a recent post here (about being open or closed), I took away the girls “tv” watching time which was her only connection to technology – we don’t have a tv, we stream videos on my MacBook. I agree with all that it is balance. I want her to keep up but not be too overwhelmed by the amount of information. Off the subject of technology, you noted that your 17 month old was potty trained. I would love to hear from you and other World Moms Blog international writers on the tricks to train so early. I have always believed that we wait too long here in the USA but it is hard to find good resources for early training. You can write a whole post about this 🙂
No TV is going to be hard for all of us, so kudos to you!
My son is partially potty trained – he does the #2 in a potty, as he knows how to let us know he needs to go, and he waits til he’s on the potty before he goes. Actually, he tells us even if it’s just pee, but he doesn’t wait for us to get him on a potty for that, so he still wears a diaper and pees in it. I hope to be able to train him to wait and be fully potty trained by 2, 2.5 years. Yes, I could probably write a post about this!
Hi Alison,
You know we don’t have electronics for our kids, and it’s interesting for me to read all the responses here about moderation. I believe in moderation too – but not until kids’ brains are old enough to manage the intensity of the stimulation. Children do pick up techie knowledge quickly so I have no concerns whatsoever about waiting. If we waited until our boys were 14 to start using technology – I’ll bet they’ll pass us by within a year if not faster! 🙂
Hi Karyn,
I think it’s admirable the way you removed technology from your home. Like the idea as I may, it just wouldn’t be possible in my home, and probably many others. Therefore we practice moderation as best as we can. Thanks for your input!
Balance is a concern. They can’t sit in front of a screen all day, sunshine and face to face contact is important. But I believe a computer or iPhone/iPad device can also be a great learning tool. Balance is also a concern for myself, too, though. lol. Great article!
Thank you, yes, balance is key I think. Technology is unavoidable, but so is sunshine 🙂