After going back to work in January (when he was one) we have had what we call a “day mummy”, a lady who comes and looks after him for us in the day time. She has also looked after one other little girl of the same age and at the same time in our flat.
We were hoping to get him into a nursery in January, but we couldn’t find one. So, this was our only option.
It has been less than ideal for us – having lots of people in a little flat, especially on the days where my husband and I was ill, which has happened more the last six months than the last ten years. We seem to catch everything that is going around, and it seems to be a lot worse for us than for the wee lad.
Perhaps, it has been the best thing for the wee lad in the end. He has had the chance to slowly get used to life as a “grown up”, has had somebody else come to look after him in his own home, and is getting used to playing with (or next to) other children.
But, in August we are finally getting him into a nursery, and I am so pleased that I will get my flat back! No more crumbs all over the floor when I get home from work, or cream cheese on the cupboards. Or, if there are crumbs and cheese, it will be my fault, so then it doesn’t feel so bad.
Anyway, now that nursery is becoming a fact, I am getting more and more nervous about it. I have, of course, heard other mothers talk like that previously, but I have never understood why.
I mean, every child goes to nursery at some point, and they all manage just fine, so why worry about it? But, here I am, feeling worried, and a little bit sad.
He is growing up – and so quickly, as well! I must admit that I am enjoying spending time with him more now than I did when he was a tiny baby (is that a horrible thing to say?). I mean, he can make me laugh on purpose, he knows when he is being funny, and I can play with him and communicate (kind of) with him, and I honestly find it a lot more rewarding. But, I still find it strange to think about sending him to nursery.
I was given a list of items he will need, and one of them was a backpack to have his lunch in when they go for outings. And, just the thought of him carrying a little backpack – very cute I am sure – is just a reminder that he is growing up.
And how will he get on with the other children? Will they play with him? Will they tease him? Or even worse, will he be one of the nasty little boys that teases others?
It feels like it is out of my control. So far, I have, to a degree, felt like I can protect him, and help him, but now he will be on his own! (Am I being slightly over dramatic here?) I know it will be good for him, and we are starting to notice that he gets restless when he is home all day (even though they go out for walks and stuff).
But, he is so curious about other children, especially slightly older ones! He will also be stimulated more at the nursery, which I think will be good. He’ll be learning new songs and games, playing actively outside, going on trips, and so on. It is all good for him! I guess that I’ll just have to learn to start to let go…
Can you recollect a time in motherhood where you told yourself that you needed to start letting go?
Photo credit to Barrett Hall. This photo has a creative commons attribution license.