The wee lad is approaching one and a half years old, and we have finally been given a space for him in a nearby nursery (childcare).
After going back to work in January (when he was one) we have had what we call a “day mummy”, a lady who comes and looks after him for us in the day time. She has also looked after one other little girl of the same age and at the same time in our flat.
We were hoping to get him into a nursery in January, but we couldn’t find one. So, this was our only option.
It has been less than ideal for us – having lots of people in a little flat, especially on the days where my husband and I was ill, which has happened more the last six months than the last ten years. We seem to catch everything that is going around, and it seems to be a lot worse for us than for the wee lad.
Perhaps, it has been the best thing for the wee lad in the end. He has had the chance to slowly get used to life as a “grown up”, has had somebody else come to look after him in his own home, and is getting used to playing with (or next to) other children.
But, in August we are finally getting him into a nursery, and I am so pleased that I will get my flat back! No more crumbs all over the floor when I get home from work, or cream cheese on the cupboards. Or, if there are crumbs and cheese, it will be my fault, so then it doesn’t feel so bad.
Anyway, now that nursery is becoming a fact, I am getting more and more nervous about it. I have, of course, heard other mothers talk like that previously, but I have never understood why.
I mean, every child goes to nursery at some point, and they all manage just fine, so why worry about it? But, here I am, feeling worried, and a little bit sad.
He is growing up – and so quickly, as well! I must admit that I am enjoying spending time with him more now than I did when he was a tiny baby (is that a horrible thing to say?). I mean, he can make me laugh on purpose, he knows when he is being funny, and I can play with him and communicate (kind of) with him, and I honestly find it a lot more rewarding. But, I still find it strange to think about sending him to nursery.
I was given a list of items he will need, and one of them was a backpack to have his lunch in when they go for outings. And, just the thought of him carrying a little backpack – very cute I am sure – is just a reminder that he is growing up.
And how will he get on with the other children? Will they play with him? Will they tease him? Or even worse, will he be one of the nasty little boys that teases others?
It feels like it is out of my control. So far, I have, to a degree, felt like I can protect him, and help him, but now he will be on his own! (Am I being slightly over dramatic here?) I know it will be good for him, and we are starting to notice that he gets restless when he is home all day (even though they go out for walks and stuff).
But, he is so curious about other children, especially slightly older ones! He will also be stimulated more at the nursery, which I think will be good. He’ll be learning new songs and games, playing actively outside, going on trips, and so on. It is all good for him! I guess that I’ll just have to learn to start to let go…
Can you recollect a time in motherhood where you told yourself that you needed to start letting go?
This is an original World Moms Blog post by Asta Burrows in Oslo, Norway. Asta can be found on her Facebook Page or on Twitter @AstaBurrows.
Photo credit to Barrett Hall. This photo has a creative commons attribution license.
Hi Asta!
I remember when I put my oldest daughter in a preschool program when she was two years old. The week before, I thought, “What am I doing? She’s not ready.” I was all signed up, registered and had paid for the first month at this point. My sister (a mom of 3 older kids) said, “She’s totally ready, just give it a try.” I tried it, and the first week was tough for me, but my daughter seemed like she couldn’t wait to get in there and play with all those kids! Good luck with everything and let us know how it goes and how you do with it all!
Jen 🙂
Hi Jen, yes I am sure there will be an update post at some point 🙂 All though I am not looking forward to it (sending him out into the big world) I do see that he probably is ready for it, so I guess I just have to learn to let go 🙂
To answer your question – Almost every day I have some experiences where I feel I have to let go. Today he started writing cursive alphabets. I was just wondering what happened to the baby I put in preschool 3 years ago.
And yes, we all feel at the right phases of their life that they still are not ready, oh, but these kids are raving to go.
Time just seems to go so fast – like you say he is raving to go – but I am not sure about me! 😉
Totally understand the feeling 🙂 Thats me too…
When we sent our daughter to daycare it caused a lot of anxiety for me. I was worried about someone else raising my child, if they would treat her like we do, if they knew how important she was to us,
the first day we sent her was the day I went back to work. I called them twice to make sure she was ok.
She was fine.
She loves it there, she loves the kids and looks forward to it everyday.
I am glad to here that she loves it there and that all is going well!
ops… I ment to write “hear”… not “here”…
I feel like that all the time, even though my oldest is only 4, but especially when he was moved up to the swim class where he swam without a parent. The instructor said that he could move up to the next level, we didn’t expect not to go into the pool with him. Then when we got to the pool (and both were dressed in bathing suits) the instructor said “ok parents, you can go sit on the side now”, and there he was, in the pool all by himself! It was one of those “my baby’s not a baby anymore” moments.
I know there will be many others – so cherish every moment before they pass you by! 🙂
It’s strange though isn’t it, that at a moment like that one has so many feelings… sadness that he is growing up and you are losing your “baby” – but also joy and proudness that he is infact growing up, and managing by himself!
I would feel the same way you do if (or when) the time comes for me to place my son in some kind of nursery/ daycare/ pre-school. I was just talking about this with a friend today and I feel so not ready! It’s selfish I know, he needs to be around other kids, not just me, all day. The letting go is so hard, isn’t it?
Letting go is hard – and change is hard. I am actually working all the time while the wee lad is with his “daymummy” – so I was surprised to find that I am worried about him going to nursery/childcare away from home!
They do grow so quickly, don’t they? I am a stay at home mom, but I can relate from when we first sent my older son to part-time preschool. I wanted him to have more consistent socialization with other children and start having him respond to other adults in charge. It was a big transition for him, but bigger for me! I knew it was a good thing for us both, to get comfortable with some separation (and we are just talking for 6 hours/week!), but it felt huge. But after a few weeks, everyone was in the routine and happy. It will fall into place for you and the wee lad as well. Thanks for sharing your story!
Thanks for your comment – yes I am sure it will get good for him not only to interact with other children, but like you say; having him respond to other adults in charge. I am glad to hear that it all worked out!
Good luck with this next mile-stone, Asta. Our eldest son, the one I call Mr Hare, has always been a very adventurous child and has pushed my comfort levels constantly with his need to explore. I guess it really struck home for me when he, at the grand age of four and a half, wanted to bike around the block by himself! I let him, but luckily (for my stress levels) he didn’t want to again for a couple of years once he’d given it a go. 🙂
It can be difficult to know though how far they should be allowed to stretch the boundaries – because I understand that it is good for them to a certain point, and that of course I can’t hold his hand for the rest of his life, he will have to learn to be independent, and in a way that is what we have been working towards since he was born, e.g. he had to learn to sit in his bouncy chair by himself and entertain himself whilst I did the cooking and so on! But I must admit though that I am not looking forward to when he starts riding a bike, by himself, around the block! I am getting stressed just thinking about it 🙂
This just happened to me this week. My son was at a day camp (mornings only) for the week. This is the first time we’ve dropped him off for something like this us – he isn’t in daycare so it feels very foreign.
I picked him up yesterday and he was in a playground surrounded by kids and for just a moment he looked lost. It turned out he had rocks in his shoes and was just stopping to fix that, but he looked so little. It broke my heart a little to see him as such a little boy moving into doing big boy things.
I hope he enjoyed the day camp! And I am glad it was just rocks in his shoes – I could feel myself getting nervous just reading through your response 🙂
These big events are filled with mixed emotions. We want our babies to fly and do well, but we also want them to stop growing up so fast. Every age has these milestones and every age brings about something new in our child that we never want to let go. It is bittersweet.
You are so right – I do want him to do well, and be independent – but it is happening too fast! 🙂