Ana Gaby’s son, Evan, climbing yet another tall structure.
“Boys will be boys” people say when they see my two-year-old run around wild and try to jump off the steps or throw sand on his head or when he decides the restaurant table is the perfect race track. Yes, “boys will be boys” I’ve realized, the problem is I don’t really know what boys are like. I learn a new lesson on boyhood everyday as I breeze or trudge through the journey of motherhood.
I grew up surrounded by estrogen. I was an only child until the age of seven and before that I attended an all-girls school and visited with my female cousins often. When my sister was born, my mom, my sister and I created a very special bond that keeps getting tighter despite the distance and space between us. My sister and I grew up in a fluffy, pink bubble where the worst tragedy that could happen in our eyes was related to ice-cream staining our dresses, or our best friend not being allowed to come over for a sleepover.
I was not used to the dirt, rowdiness, sounds and smells that little boys bring into the picture. Nobody told me about the bleeding noses they would give me (product of accidental head butts), or the sore toes (victims of Tonka road accidents), and the fact that I might find dirt and sand in the most bizarre places in my boy’s anatomy. I was not aware of the physicality that entails chasing mothering a very energetic little boy and the taxing toll it would take on my back let alone my manicure.
My husband, on the other hand, is thriving in this testosterone-filled environment. Growing up with a younger brother he knows exactly what to do with boys. Ever since my boy was born, they clicked…they just understand each other and know what is in each other’s souls. At two weeks old my boy had already been introduced to motorcycles, tools, and even walked dangerously close (in my opinion) to Komodo dragon infested waters, all while strapped to a carrier on his daddy’s chest.
It has taken me longer to understand my son. At first I was afraid of giving him a bath and dealing with his healing privates due to circumcision. I knew how to hold a baby, but I didn’t know how to hold my baby. I was scared of breaking him, messing him up, or traumatizing him. In my mind I didn’t know what to do with a boy and that kept me from even trying to nurture his boyhood. Little by little my ever so resilient boy has challenged me to become a boy’s mom. He was so patient when I struggled with his strong grip and taught me that I could play rough…and like it.
I still wince when throws himself at me while jumping off playground equipment and I hope I’m able to catch him. I’m not Cirque du Soleil material even though he just might be! I just hope I’m able to catch him every time he falls, or at least be right beside him to let him know that it’s ok to fall. Life is about falling, getting up and trying again.
Every time I cringe as I see him attempt yet another “life-threatening” stunt I just have to stop and remember God created him that way. God instilled creativity, and restlessness in him. My boy is called to be strong, resolute and curious and it is my job to foment his character and lead him into using all his energy in a good way.
I’m still learning to appreciate fun in dirt and the efficacy of roars and groans. I’m still learning the fact that a hug that almost throws me on the floor is, after all, the way my two-year-old demonstrates his love for me. I have a long way to go. I have just begun the race of raising two boys that will hopefully become men who will bring good to their society and make a difference. In the meantime you’ll find me in the playground with sand in my hair, a few bruises on my arms and a smile on my heart. And like the song says, “Wild thing, you make my heart sing, you make everything, groovy.” I’m loving every second of it!
Do you have any “wild things” in your life? How have your wild boys and girls challenged you on your journey into motherhood?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Ana Gaby from Indonesia. She can be found writing at Stumble Abroad.
Photo credit to the author.
Ana I can relate! I have two boys, and my house is filled with trucks, cars, trains, tents, bikes. BUT, we’re not perpetuating gender-roles with toys, it’s just the way my toddler rolls 🙂 And yes the running, jumping, getting dirty, all very non-princessy, non-pink activities. I’m totally outnumbered, and it took a little getting used to, but I wouldn’t have any other way.
My toddler totally rolls like that, too! I got him all kinds of different toys but he’s obsessed with anything that goes vroom! I love being the queen of my home and it’s always a fun experience jumping with him and on occasion take a shot at baking with Evan!
Despite being blessed with a son and a daughter, I totally relate to being a first-time mom to a boy … especially one who didn’t like to be cuddled! From the very beginning my son and I were totally on different wavelengths and the best decision I ever made (for both our sakes) was to send him to preschool when he was 2 years old. Until then I hadn’t realized how overprotective I was being! Strangely enough he actually liked to play with a doll of mine (still have it … the doll is nearly 40 years old now!) whereas my daughter preferred playing with her brother’s toy cars! 🙂
Hi Simona. It must be fun experiencing having a son and a daughter! I tried making Evan play with all kinds of toys but he’s always drawn to the cars, trains, and motorcycles.I should try to introduce him to some of my old toys when I go visit my parents and see if he’s at all drawn to them. Preschool is a good idea. He goes a few times a week but maybe it’s time to increase the visits! haha
We are kindred spirits after all, Ana Gaby! Whew. I am definitely a boy mom is training. We are antsy for a 3rd and I have to be honest I have consulted with many a mom of all boys and I am terrified of what a house with 3 boys might look like…seeing as wildly as we roll now! Glad to have someone to relate to! Thanks for sharing!
Hi Kristen. We want a third, too. Definitely not ready for it just yet but I often think about what a house with 3 boys would be like and I’m not sure if I can handle any more wild! But maybe I do, I’m always up for a challenge and I love my wild boys!
I can totally relate. My boys are only 3 1/2 and 6 months, but I already feel outnumbered. Right now I still have fun throwing a ball around with my son, but he’s going to soon surpass my abilities. Anyway, when I was pregnant and knew I was having a boy, I kept hearing, “oh boys are terrific. They so love their mothers. Girls, they have complicated relationships with their moms, but boys just adore their mothers.” So far so true and I’m holding on to hope that it stays that way! 🙂
Josh is only 9 months old but I can see him following his brother’s footsteps anytime soon. I do feel a special love from my sons, though. The way Evan hugs me and sometimes tries to touch my hair “gently”. I’m keeping up with him for now, but I don’t know how long this is going to be possible. Good thing Daddy’s there to take over whenever that happens!
I do have 2 girls and the older one acts just like a boy. She kicks and hits like a boy. Sometimes it worries me. I don’t know how to react.
My husband says: “she is the son I never had”. We have all kinds of toys. Do not have cars or anything like that, but we mostly buy what she picks out in the store. If she wanted a truck I think we would get it for her. Why not? right.
That’s awesome! A girly girl and a sporty one! I wasn’t as girly as my sister was but I was certainly not a sporty or wild girl, I was more into books and traveling even from a young age. In that way I do relate with Evan he absolutely loves going to new places and exploring! I am always open to getting them any kind of toy they want, but then again, it seems like trucks are always his favorite toy!
I always wanted a boy because I was a bit of a tomboy as a kid, and as an only child I wanted a little brother. But I have to say, this boy is tiring me out! I don’t know if a girl would be less active, since I just have the one kid. Maybe girls can be like this, too?
Haha, I know what you mean Carol!!! Evan tires me out, too! haha. I think girls can be like that, too. But there is a definite physicalness that only boys can achieve. Both my boys are so strong that even when they are being sweet to me they hurt me!
I have 5 girls and long for a son. There have certainly been wild moments, and more than the average amount of drama. I look forward to the day the Lord allows me to be the momma of a boy.
Wow, 5 girls, Sara! That’s awesome! I bet it’s fun to be a little girl’s mom, too! The one thing I do know is that God is wise and he allows us to be mothers to the perfect little ones that have been chosen even before they were formed in our womb! So, what’s the recipe to have a little girl??? 😉
Loved reading your post Ana – it made me smile. I have two girls and my youngest is my “wild thing” doing daring jumps off the jungle gym and climbing up high before I can be down below to spot her “just in case”. Wild things will be wild things! I guess it keeps us on our toes and makes life interesting 😉
Hi Eva! I loved hearing about your little wild thing! So far Evan seems to be the wildest of them all but now that Josh is about to start walking I can totally see them competing over who’s on the tallest part of the jungle gym or who can jump the furthest. ANd yes, they keep us on our toes and make everything groovy! 😉
Ana, I love this post! Although I have two younger brothers and for years, I was the first and only grand daughter in my family. I was a total tomboy growing up but nothing can really prepare me for having a little boy. But you know what they say? Boys always have special bonds with their mothers 😉 See you soon!
It must have been fun growing up with brothers! I always thought we needed one boy in our family with me being a geek and my sister being the girly girl, there was some necessary roughness we never got! haha I am now learning as I go and having fun in the dirt! See you soon!
You know, I dint even know I had a wild ‘thing’ in my hand, until recently. He was quietest, most obedient child in the whole block. Now suddenly things seem to have changed! He is as unruly and as any other boy. he and his paapa wreck the house on weekends!! I grew up with my brother, but it still dint prepare me for being the mother of a ‘boy.’
He also has his group of friends. All our neighbours’ kids the same age get together and play nearby. Its funa dn I am happy he is having all that fun with a decent bunch of kids and families. But yes, boys are boys and are unruly. And my son has metamorphosed into rumbunctiousness too.
Your post made me smile 🙂
Congratulations on your first post on WMB! I love the way you write and look forward to reading more of what you write.
Thanks for your sweet comments Purnima!
It must be tough seeing the metamorphosis! hahah At least I “think” I’m know what awaits me in the next few years. Maybe once he starts school on a more regular basis things will change but for now chaos and mischief are on the daily menu!!!
Whenever my son runs towards me to give me a big hug I have to make sure I brace myself securely because it is like watching a bowling ball rolling towards you at warp speed. And yes, I often get knocked down in the process but then I soak in his embrace and his love. His lion grunts are funny but his pelting me with his metal airplane is not so funny, but just has you said, it’s all about him being a boy. It is a stark contrast to how I interact with his sister for certain, yet it remains true to what everybody tells me: boys will be mama’s boys and mine certainly is. He is more cuddly and more sensitive than our daughter. All that boy-ness might just be a mask for his gentle soft little heart. Great post Ana!
I bet it’s fun to see what boys and girls are like at the same age and under the same circumstances. I have been bruised oh so many times but like you say at the end boys are mama’s boys. I often wonder if a daughter would be any different as Josh is staring to expand his groan repertoire and his grip is the opposite of gentle! Either way, I love my wild boys and wouldn’t change them for anything! Hope to meet you somewhere in SE Asia soon!
Ana,
What a fun post! I’m a mom to two girls, and I was one of 3 sisters. I have no idea what I would do with a boy! But, like you have done, I would have had to figure it out!
Jen 🙂
Hi Jen. Now that I think about it if we happen to have a girl next I could have to start on a clean slate again! I’m so used to the roughness of having boys that I would have to re-learn the sweetness and gentleness of (some) girls!
You can’t even imagine. Maybe we should swap kids one day!
Sounds like fun Jodi. Or even better, lets have a play date and consider it our cross fit workout! 😉