I read this recently from the Storyline blog.
Don’t let urgency keep you from your spouse, your kids, creation or the God who made them all. You may find, like me, you get more done when your soul is fed first.
– Donald Miller
Life has been busier than normal for us. I’ve slumped into survival mode: I place as priority all things “urgent,” and everything else falls into second place. In other words: Anything that doesn’t threaten to blow up in my face if I don’t resolve it now, well…takes second place.
Things that are labelled “urgent” have this ability to force themselves upon you, and make you wriggle from the priorities that you have set for your life. To me, there are only a few things in life that are truly urgent. Family and children comprise the foremost of these. (It is pretty obvious, right? I am a mummy blogger, after all.)
Why would family be urgent? There are no deadlines to meet, no clock is ticking (except your biological one, and even then that’s only if you’re planning to have more kids).
Family is urgent, because in this day and age, many other things have usurped its position in society. Wealth, career, fame, beauty, you name it. (Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying these are necessarily bad in themselves, but when they take first place in our hearts, then well, something’s gotta give.)
Family is urgent, because it becomes increasingly hard difficult to keep up with things. In my family — or any family, for that matter — it will always been a challenge to keep it together. And — let’s face it — it’s only going to get harder.
Family is urgent, because if it drops to the low priority list, the fabric of any given culture is prone to breaking down. This results in greater costs to society, in the form of higher crime rates, mental illness, suicide and other what-have-yous.
Family is urgent, because our kids grow up in a flash. Without us being present with them in their formative years, things are going to get tough when they become full blown teenagers.
Lastly, family is urgent, because I they are naturally on the top of mind concerning everything — everything I do, say, and make important decisions about. I just love that I’m able to be there for my family, for “first times” and all the rest of it, despite whatever constraints that we may face. My hubby is “urgent”, my kids are “urgent”, simply because I love them. Period.
What’s urgent in your life? What’s important? Share with me, how do you prioritise the things that fight for your attention?
P.S. Even as I write this, there are a number of work-related matters on my mind jostling for my attention. But I’ve decided this post is important because it stands as a reminder to myself too – to keep my family and my heart first. The rest can wait. Well…we try.
This is an original World Moms Blog post by June Yong in Singapore. June is passionate about family, writing, faith, and good old-fashioned love. She blogs at mamawearpapashirt, and can be found on Twitter, and on Facebook.
The photo used in this post is credited to http://www.flickr.com/photos/50715604@N07/4660619662/ It is licensed under Creative Commons.
What a lovely post and an important reminder.
Thank you, Mud Hut Mama! It’s supposed to be a reminder for me too…This is one of those things that are easy to say / acknowledge, but tough to do and follow through.
Great post, June!
I TOTALLY agree with what you wrote. In my personal case, though, something else has become REALLY urgent … finding an answer (and hopefully, a cure) for all my physical problems. I’ve been battling ill health for 8 years already! It’s very difficult to keep doing everything that needs doing when your body lets you down.
I have learnt that taking care of MYSELF has to be at least as important as taking care of everyone else! The best gift you can give your children is a happy and serene mother!
I agree with you, Simona. That’s truly the best gift you can give your children. And I hope and pray that you will be able to find the way to a healthier, stronger new you, by this time next year. Go, momma! 🙂
It is soo hard to balance everything. I try to do many, many things, but the only thing that really matters is that my children grow up well – loved and confident. Thanks for the reminder.
Lady Jennie, it is hard, and we can only try our best. Even if we’re master jugglers, there can only be so many balls that we can keep our eyes on. May these be the things that we truly cherish in our hearts.
I appreciate your post very much.. Thank’s for being a reminder and a wake up caller for all of us.. Please keep us posted..
Thanks for leaving a comment Sarah!
I think of all the things I can get done and accomplish, but I can’t because my kids need me first. There will be time for all that other stuff. That is what I keep telling myself! There is only one time for them to be 5 and 1 years old!
Thank you for this post, June!
Totally. Only one window of opportunity, before it’s closed forever…It’s very sobering but at the same time, keeps my feet planted on the ground and my heart at the right place! Thanks Jen!
I so agree with you, June. Since I became a Mum I have learned to accept that my boys need me when they need me, and life is so much calmer all round when I tend to their needs first (nurturing or boundary setting!). 🙂
Thanks Karyn, I really admire how you manage to get things right the first time. Some days, I work from home and it’s tough because the kids want attention and I’m trying hard to complete a task or an email! But yes, taking that 5 min off just to do something with them does help to “get me off the hook” for a longer period…Still learning, still learning.
I like the questions you raise. I feel less urgency around things that are not core to contributing to a happy, healthy family while my kids are young. I do make time for for myself, because when I take care of me, I better take care of my family. But I also keep things in perspective. If I need to bail on certain commitments, that’s ok. There will be time for those things at some point. And that idea also helps me push through some of the more mundane parts of my routine. Thanks for sharing your perspective!
Thanks for sharing, I took away something from what you wrote too, Tara. That there will be time for those other pursuits that we have, in due course…and we can take heart in that. 🙂