When we moved from a quaint little cobblestone town, South of Paris, to the booming financial district of La Defense where we settled across the street from a mall, I knew I had found happiness.
Don’t pity me for my lack of culture, as I know you are bound to, and just let me repeat that there was a mall. In the other town, I had nowhere to go and nobody talked to me, even on the playground. In my new area, I could take on even the coldest, rainiest days with fortitude simply by pushing the double stroller over to the mall entrance and losing myself in a Starbucks latté while trying not to lose my kids as they ran freely down the carpeted corridors. We’d all go home to our apartment for a nap afterwards, cheerful and spent.
But what was even more wonderful was the group of international friends my kids and I made. We lived in the tallest residential building in all of Europe, and our playground was in the midst of a series of high-rise buildings. The public school was located at the base of our building so we only needed to take the elevator and descend a set of steps before arriving. There, we greeted each other in the friendliest way possible, and everyone would make plans to meet up again later in the day at the playground.
My best friends were Amina from Morocco, Faiza from Algeria and Zali from Mayotte. We all lived in the same building, and between us, had eleven children who all played loudly together.
We would meet for lunch, avoiding the Ramadan period when Faiza and Amina didn’t eat or drink during the day. We bought Halal meat for Amina and her kids’ sake, who only ate the specially sacrificed meat according to Muslim tradition. We shared about our different religions with respect, and accepted each other as we were. There was so much to delight in – the customs, the foods and the different styles of mothering we all practiced according to our tradition and personality.
At other times, we’d go to the playground where we’d see the French mothers, the Iranian, the Saudi Arabian, the West African, the Indian, the Romanian mothers, and more. And this spirit of respect, affection and good will extended to nearly everyone there.
Motherhood trumps many social and cultural boundaries, as does living in a cosmopolitan area.
Sometimes I would bring a thermos of coffee and a box of homemade cookies to share with everyone as we all chatted on the park bench. That was my American contribution, and friends weren’t above knocking at our door whenever the scent of baking floated into the corridor. Our worries at that time were as small as our children, and we enjoyed a peace that will forever be branded in my mind as belonging to that place, those people and that time.
We’ve all moved since then, and the closest of us still keep in touch. As grateful as I am for the space we now have in our house and garden, we are now living in a more homogenous neighborhood where cultural and social boundaries are even more rigid. Were it not for our very diverse church, I would be afraid that my children would forget – that they would grow up not knowing the joy of diversity, the salt that gives flavor to the soup.
What about you? Do you and your children have a diverse set of friends? Do you rejoice in that fact, or is it so normal to you that you don’t even notice it?
This is an original post for World Moms Blog by A Lady in France. Photo credit to the author.
I live in a diverse community, as the area I am in is known as an ‘expat area’. My in laws are Australian citizens, but they’re Libyan. So our diversity starts at home. We have Indian neighbors. The Japanese girls live on the other side of the corridor, next to the Iranian family. The Spanish lady 3 floors down from my in laws (yes, we all live in the same apartment complex, just different blocks) have met both my children. My mother-in-law holds her sewing class at a Korean lady’s shop.
I love it. I love that my children will grow up, at least partially, in a place where what color your skin is, what religion you believe in, what language you speak, doesn’t matter.
Yes, yes, YES! Now that’s just what I’m talkin about. 😉
“the joy of diversity, the salt that gives flavor to the soup.” Spoken like a lady in France, Jennie!
That cultural set up sounds exactly like we had in store for our lives when we lived outside of Washington, DC. Shortly after my first daughter was born, we moved back up to NJ to be closer to family. We decided since the culture wasn’t floating all around us, we had to go to the culture. We started speaking French with her at home and enrolled her in the local Chinese school on Saturdays. On occasion we take the girls into NYC for mommy and daddy to go to the museums and they tag along. And ask lots of questions!
Thank you for sharing your experience, Jennie!
Jen 🙂
While your seeking out culture for your kids doesn’t surprise me, I really admire the determination!
Love this post! 🙂
As an Italian living in Cape Town, South Africa, I’m happy and proud to be able to say that my family thrives in the midst of diversity. 🙂 I LOVE that both my children have best friends who have a totally different ethnicity to us, because I’ve always taught them to not judge people by their appearance or background. Sometimes my home looks like what I imagine the U.N. to look like. 🙂
This world would be a much better place if everyone remembered that we ARE souls who HAVE bodies, and not the other way around. If you think about bodies that way, what a person looks like won’t have any bearing on your relationship with them.
What a great quote about souls who have bodies instead of the other way around. South Africa is an important place to love diversity!
In my little Canadian city, we are like a huge melting pot. Since we are a border city to the US, a lot of people like to settle here because of it’s proximity to the US.
I think it’s fabulous that Canada is open to many cultures. I think it’s also fabulous that my son is being introduced to so many cultures.
Everyone I know here wants to move to Canada! 🙂 Have you ever seen Têtes à Claques? It’s French Canadian and hilarious.
But back to diversity. It’s great to have a little city and a big melting pot – best of all worlds.
What a blessing to be surrounded by such diverse people and cultures. It must have been so enriching. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to teach the kids about diversity and cultures starting right in our home where three languages are spoken, two religions are professed and many happy meals are shared.
That is perfect – you don’t even have to seek out diversity. People can come seek it from you! 🙂
Loved this Jennie. Reminded me of where I grew up (Queens, NY) up until 6th grade. I had Japanese, Indonesian, Lithuanian, Colombian, and of course American friends. But even the American friends had roots of European ancestry.
I notice that Seattle is not as diverse, but I think it’s because I did have the chance to grow in that diverse background. If I hadn’t had that experience, I might not notice it. We try to mix things up a bit by immersing in different cultures whenever possible – cultural festivals, foreign food restaurants, travel, etc.
Great post!
Oh Queens – it doesn’t get better than that in terms of diversity, although I must admit that I thought the diversity went block by block – that ethnic cultures grouped together. Is it like that somewhat?
Otherwise, we have to get it where we can. Growing up (apart from having a Korean sister and a brother who was mixed – both adopted), my parents were always cooking different foods and seeking out different cultures. It was great.
I love that you were able to meet such a diverse group of friends in La Defense. There’s something really wonderful about learning about different cultures. I grew up in Queens, NYC which is über diverse (you should see my facebook friends from high school 🙂 ) and my kids so far are growing up in Manhattan, NYC, which I am realizing is much less diverse than I would have thought considering NYC is such a melting pot. My son’s classmates are Greek, Morrocan, Italian, Spanish, Latino, Asian, to name a few….so he is definitely getting a good mixture, and he has no biases towards or against any of them.
That is awesome. It’s true Manhattan isn’t as diverse as one would hope. I lived all over – lower East, BPC, upper East, upper West, midtown. And it’s all rather homogenous. But that’s great about your son’s school.