“What’s that one for?” I pointed to the rows of most beautiful shiniest rich dark sparkly brown bracelets at this meditation store.
“They are for fertility.” the girl smiled warmly.
And I immediately withdraw my hand, a little too abruptly maybe followed by “Oh no! No, no, no!”
Diana, my best friend couldn’t control her laugh and I giggled as we thanked the friendly shop attendant and left the store.
“Yeah you definitely don’t want to go there, yet!” Diana and I laughed about it. “Obviously, we need the daddy first!” we casually cracked jokes.
Yet when I was alone in my thoughts, deep down I can’t help but wonder.
Why did I pull those?
Out of rows of many beautiful bracelets I was drawn into those specific ones. Fertility. Why?
Is it because I’ve been having some serious baby fever? Maybe from holding those cute babies at work last week, when my colleagues came to work with their babies. The sweet soft smell of them warms my heart. The feel of their soft plump little bodies against me. Their tight little grasp on my finger.
I just miss all that.
That day at the office before the big Eid holiday many of my colleagues, my self included came to work with our kids and yes, some brought their new babies.
It was chaotic in a good way.
The bosses were being flexible, the kiddos had fun. Our office turned into a mini daycare.
While I cherish my boy, enjoying how independent he is now and how he can help me around the house…I can’t help but acknowledging these aches. The motherly aches deep inside me to have another baby, to procreate. These longings to feel those fluttery nudge from inside the tummy that soon turned into a jab or a strong kick. I may not miss the sleep deprivation times but I sure do miss seeing a baby fall asleep in my arms or next to me.
Maybe it was my biological clock clicking loudly in my head that drove me to get some hardcore baby fever. Who knows?! Just to acknowledge these emotions made me feel so much better. That means I respect myself and I am honoring my sense of feeling, my longing, my desires to one day have another baby.
Will I focus on the when or how? No! Will I focus on who is the baby daddy will be? No! I am quietly riding the waves of emotions of this so-called baby fever then letting it go to the universe.
To see how my mother happily chatters about the different baby stuffs they saw at the store with my sister in law, my heart felt light. She, my beloved mother didn’t get that chance with me. Why? Because I was half way on the other side of her world when I was pregnant and she missed out on that. Now it’s her chance to be the dotting grandmother that she is. Bless her heart! Seeing her happiness brought me joy.
I told my beautiful pregnant sister in law to enjoy and savor her pregnancy moments because it will be over soon. She will miss it.
New life to celebrate – is always enough reasons to be grateful for. Oh, how I can’t wait to meet this baby. And you bet I will be the coolest aunty ever! Can’t wait to meet her – yes!
How about you? Have you ever experienced baby fever? How did you deal with it?
This is an original post for World Moms Blog by Maureen of Scoops of Joy. Photo credit to Free Digital Download.
I laughed so hard about the hand pulling! That’s exactly how I would have reacted. I have had many cases of baby fever. It is such a strong feeling. I’m not sure if any mother can hold a soft sweet smelling baby without feeling that ache in some way.
I even feel it now that I am absolutely sure that I don’t want any more children. Luckily my sister has a sweet little baby girl, holding her always soothes my baby ache.
I did too, Mirjam it was too funny. It is isn’t? The little ache inside. It’s so lovely to be aunties isn’t? 😀 We get to hold the babies and spoil them and return them to their mothers hahaha win win solution I think.
Maureen — you explained that feeling so well!! Love this post!
Jen 🙂
Thank you Jen 🙂
I occasionally get the ache, in my heart and my core, but I know full well (in my head) that we.are.done. You are lucky to be able to enjoy being an Aunt as well as a mother – it may help quench the fever a little bit for you, for now. 🙂
I think being an aunt will be so helpful in my situation right now. This will be my first niece so I am super excited for my brother and sister in law and I told them all that I will spoil their little girl so much please be warned hahaha. Thank you Maman Aya 🙂
I’ve been yearning for a second child but nothings happening so far after trying. So yes, I had my share of baby fever and heart aches more than once over the past year. Who can resist the charm of new babies? Their soft skin, gurgling sounds and oh so divine baby smell 🙂
But regardless if we have one or more kids, we are blessed already to have this privilege to be a mom.
Aww thank you for sharing, Susan. Seems like every one around is pregnant or just had a baby, thus the baby fever season. We truly are blessed with being able to mother our babies, aren’t we?
I do get baby fever when I’m around newborns. I LOVE the babies…..then I see someone with an 18mo to 3 year old and as cute as they are I remember how Busy they are and know I’m good with my four!
Oh yes, I remember those first couple of years lol so I know what you meant. While more parents here have it a bit easier with the help of families and nannies in raising their babies, I got the privilege to raise my boy alone without much help from he was born until he’s 4 years old. 😀 Your children are super adorable btw!
Oddly enough I have never had a baby fever. Even before I got pregnant with my first (or second) baby. These days I photograph many newborns and infants and, honestly, as much as I enjoyed them and they reminds me of my babies being so small, I do not ache for another baby.
Thank you for sharing, girl! It’s good to hear all sides, that’s what makes us unique isn’t? I adore all your pictures, if only we live closer 😉
Such a beautiful post, Maureen! I had my third child almost 6 months ago and I am enjoying his babyness while it lasts… but I am glad to be done. I am feeling that three children is enough and I am just grateful that I had easy pregnancies and healthy babies.