This August in our neighborhood playground, a child threatened my toddler son, saying “Trump will kick you out of here when he becomes President.” For the past two months I’ve been praying for the victory of Hillary Clinton, so that I can tell my child “hate never wins”. The polls gave me some hope. But on the night of November 8, as the election results rolled in, I saw a very different America than the polls had predicted.
I put my child to bed that night right before the Canadian immigration website crashed. I stayed up late, thinking about how I would explain this to him. A few hours later, he woke up full of questions. He asked me if she had won. I told him no.
“But I want Hillary to be my president!”
“I know, baby.” I held him tight. He is too young to understand the candidates’ policies; all he knows is that if Donald Trump is in the white house, the bullies in the playground get a good line to yell at him.
Once again, I assured him, “We are American, this is our home, no one is going to kick us out of here, not even Trump.”
I’ve been repeating this to him for the past two months. Apparently it’s not enough. He asked me if we’re moving to Asia to be with his grandparents. I told him no.
“But I don’t like Trump!”
“But you do like America, don’t you?”
He thought about it carefully and then nodded.
“That’s right, baby. As long as it doesn’t change, we’re here to stay.”
“But I’m upset.”
“That’s okay, baby. I’m upset, too. We all get upset sometimes. But we’ll be fine,” I told him.
“If anybody ever tells you that Trump will kick you out of the country, just say, ‘No, I am American, this is my home, no one can kick me out of here.’”
He practiced the sentence a couple of times and seemed to be comforted.
There is so much more that I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him it’s not the end of the world. I wanted to tell him that human beings are resilient. I wanted to tell him that we can do better than running away. I just don’t know how to make a 3-year-old understand all of these things.
In spite of all the frustrations at this moment, I still believe in America. Sure, the election had modeled the exact opposite of the values I believe in and hope to instill in my children: the xenophobia that came directly out of Trump’s campaign has harmed my family. But I see that most of my fellow American don’t believe in the racism and sexism either. Clinton won the popular vote. Which means the majority of American believe that women should be paid the same as men, they care about climate change, they don’t want the implementation of aggressive surveillance programs that target certain ethnic groups.
This is the moment not to sit down with frustration, but to stand up and fight against discrimination, bigotry and hate. And there is so much we can do. We can volunteer. We can donate. There is Showing Up For Racial Justice that combats racism, Planned Parenthood that gives women the opportunities for proper healthcare, ACLU that upholds the individual rights guaranteed by the US Constitution. Most of all, as parents, we can continue teaching our children the values we believe in: honesty, gender equality, love. The election changed none of that.
Just like President Obama said on election day, “The sun will rise in the morning.”
What was your reaction to the US Presidential election? Did you or will you talk to your kids about it?
This is an original post to World Mom Network by To-Wen Tseng. Photo credit to Mu-huan Chiang.
To-Wen Tseng
Former TV reporter turned freelance journalist, children's book writer in wee hours, nursing mom by passion. To-wen blogs at I'd rather be breastfeeding. She can also be found on Twitter and Facebook.
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Just as poll results do not exactly mesh with election results, so also , campaign speeches do not necessarily predict exact policies of govts anywhere in world.Also evolution of consciousnessis taking place, humans becooming mature,more loving, spiritual, you try heartffulness meditation, teach relaxation to your child, give him values, world is getting better.
Did you by any chance see my previous post about meditating with my toddler?
This morning on the radio they shared a quote from the late Leonard Cohen – “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” (Leonard Cohen, Selected Poems, 1956-1968).
This gels with my belief that *nothing* is totally “good” or totally “bad” and the way to achieve a sense of peace is to find the negative in the positive and the positive in the negative. The Universe loves balance. We’re our best selves when we remember that the *only* thing we have control over are our *own* reactions and behaviour, irrespective of what is going on around us, or what his happening to us.
That said, of course we’re human, and the first, instinctive, reaction when faced with anything that we perceive to be threatening to us or our loved ones, is the “fight or flight” response. Sadly most of the “fight” is totally taking over Social Media right now. If we step back from it, though, we realise that the anger is really fear. The saddest part of this is that currently NOBODY is accepting anyone else’s point of view … unless they happen to believe the same thing! This fighting amongst ourselves actually serves no purpose, because *nobody* is going to change their position! 🙁
Also, *nobody* can make us feel inferior without our consent! Now, more than ever, is the time to “keep our heads, while all around us people are losing theirs”! I believe that we should stop wasting our energy in trying to convince people of *our* point of view, simply because, as my late, wise Nonno used to say; “The more you stir shit, the more it stinks!”
What has happened has happened. We can’t do anything about it, but we also don’t need to be defined by it. Let’s remember that Hate *can’t* defeat Hate, only Love can! Let’s stop fuelling the divide, and rather concentrate on living the best life we can. Let’s BE the change we want to see in the world!
It’d be a shame if anybody think standing up for gender and race equality is “stirring shit.”
To-Wen, I was just thinking about you and your previous post today and this ‘update’ from you is so timely. I was shocked and extremely disheartened by the election outcome. As a non-American, I do not witness the consequences directly. However, when I read of negative experiences people have had since the results, I grieve at the hate permeating our society and creating so much fear. But I have also know of family, friends like you and strangers who are spreading the message of love, who are reaching out to others in fear, and who continue to teach their children values that will eventually prevail. While dreams might have been dimmed for a little while, they cannot be kept from burning.
Thank you for the warm words, Karen. Let’s hope for the future!
Thank you for the warm words, Karen. Let’s hope for the future.