by Shaula Bellour (Indonesia) | Mar 12, 2015 | 2015, Awareness, Being Thankful, Exercise, Expat Life, Family, Health, Hobby, Identity, Indonesia, Inspirational, Life, Life Balance, Life Lesson, Living Abroad, Maternal Health, Me-Time, Motherhood, New Year's Resolutions, Parenting, Responsibility, Running, School, Shaula Bellour, Womanhood, World Motherhood
Last Sunday I ran my first 5K race. I still can’t believe that I actually did it – and in the tropical heat, no less. Although I have vaguely considered it a worthy goal, running an actual race wasn’t on my radar even two months ago.
It turns out that 2015 is the year of living dangerously…out of my comfort zone.
My kids often talk about being “risk-takers”. It is one of the ten traits included in the school Learner Profile and students are encouraged to be inquirers, knowledgeable, thinkers, communicators, principled, open-minded, caring, risk-takers, balanced, and reflective. While these traits are all deemed equally important, being a risk-taker is a concept that seems to be especially resonant outside of school too: “I am a risk-taker: I am willing to make mistakes. I am confident and have the courage to try new things.”
For my generally confident (and fruit-averse) daughter, this might mean: “Look Mommy, I’m a risk-taker, I’m eating a mango!” My son takes a more reflective approach – acknowledging when he feels nervous about doing something and emboldening himself with his risk-taker status to eventually take the plunge. Though risk-taking will probably have a different connotation when they are older, I embrace what it means for them now – trying new things and not being afraid to make mistakes.
It’s an important lesson for grown ups, too.
In January, after three years of living in Jakarta, I was starting to feel like my daily life was becoming somewhat routine. Gym, work, grocery store, repeat. To change things up, I found myself saying YES to things that I might not usually consider.
When a friend asked if I wanted to join their early morning running group, I said YES. I knew that the group would likely be too advanced for me but figured that I wouldn’t know if I didn’t try. “What’s the worst that could happen?” I asked myself. I would walk, that’s it. I did walk some at first, but I set my own goals and improved each week. Now we’re training for a 10K.
When another friend asked if I would like to be part of their dance group for an upcoming fashion show event, I said yes to that too. Other friends and even my husband were surprised. Performing a dance routine in front of a huge crowd is WAY beyond my comfort zone, but again I thought: “Why not?” In this case I try not to think about the worst that could happen (falling off the stage comes to mind) but I’m proud of myself for doing it and am actually looking forward to the big night.
I’ve continued with the YES theme in other areas of my life and have already seen positive changes: improved health, new friendships, new possibilities. I’ve realized that pushing my boundaries in this way is also about adjusting my own perceptions of myself. “Oh, but I’m not a runner,” I would repeatedly explain, trying to somehow qualify my actions.
Well now I am a runner. And a dancer. Among many other things.
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
Our kids may not recognize some of the bigger risk-taking decisions we’ve made (like moving our lives halfway around the world), but it’s often the smaller actions that resonate the most.
It feels good for them to see that I can be a risk-taker too – I can be afraid sometimes and I can also be brave, just like they are.
When I walked in the door after the race, finisher’s medal around my neck, both kids jumped up from the couch with wide eyes. “Mommy!” my daughter exclaimed, “I didn’t know you would win the race!”
Not exactly…but YES! In my own way, I did.
What risks are you putting out there for yourself this year? How are you embracing these challenges?
This is an original post for World Moms Blog by our mom of twins in Jakarta, Indonesia, Shaula Bellour.
The image used in this post is attributed to the author.
Shaula Bellour grew up in Redmond, Washington. She now lives in Jakarta, Indonesia with her British husband and 9-year old boy/girl twins. She has degrees in International Relations and Gender and Development and works as a consultant for the UN and non-governmental organizations.
Shaula has lived and worked in the US, France, England, Kenya, Eritrea, Kosovo, Lebanon and Timor-Leste. She began writing for World Moms Network in 2010. She plans to eventually find her way back to the Pacific Northwest one day, but until then she’s enjoying living in the big wide world with her family.
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by Martine de Luna (Philippines) | Mar 5, 2015 | 2015, Family, Philippines, World Moms Blog, World Motherhood, Younger Children
I’m a new mom all over again.
On January 31st, my family welcomed a daughter, who was an answered prayer and an angel rolled into one cute and cuddly package. We had waited 4 years before deciding to get pregnant again, and so her coming was planned, stemming from a decision my husband and I made that, yes, we wanted to have another baby.
At the time when I learned I was pregnant, a slew of emotions came over me: joy, anticipation, excitement, and all the good fuzzy feelings that come with the thought of having a child you’ve been waiting for. But the strongest feeling that came over me wasn’t all fuzzy-wuzzy and free. I felt a type of uncertainty, honestly.
Could my heart really love another little human being as much as I loved my firstborn?
Well, this last month — the first month of my daughter’s life — I found out that when God decides to give you more kids, your heart grows as well. I feel so much love for both my children.
When I saw my daughter seconds after she came out of me, I felt instantly transported back in time to the birth of my son five years ago, when I felt a surge of energetic, powerful love for my child. I felt the same this time with our daughter, and yet totally different, too. When we went home from the hospital, realizing that there would forever be four of us in the family was also both delightful and daunting.
It’s not been easy. The other day I mused on Instagram about how happy yet extremely hard it is to grow the space in my mommy heart, how difficult it has been especially for my eldest child to adjust with the new person in our home, and how physically tired I feel from the past weeks of newborn care. It’s not that I feel torn between my children — not at all. However, I feel the growing pains, the sweetness and pain. Being a mom of two doesn’t split my heart in two. I know love my both my kids equally, but it is with a love that both enlarges my heart yet feels like it tears it, too.
Does that make sense? I don’t know. All I know is that I’m learning a new way of loving, and that my heart is expanding to accommodate two loves of my life right now. (Well, three, of course, including my husband!)
I’m at the start of a new leg of the journey now. I am excited yet uncertain, but I know for sure that I am full of love and expectancy. I don’t want to rush through any of it! I don’t want to miss out anything my children need me for, whether it be the little one who needs milk, cuddles and carrying, or the “bigger little one” who needs extra understanding, hugs and exclusive mommy time. These tender days of “mommy heart growth” will pass as quickly as my kids shoot up in height! I have got to slow down to savor the accelerated pace of their childhood.
Moms, how did you feel when you had your second child? Can you relate with me?
This is an original post by Martine De Luna for World Moms Blog. Martine is the resident “blissmaker” on her lifestyle inspiration blog, Make it Blissful.
The image used in this post is credited to the author.
Martine is a work-at-home Mom and passionate blogger. A former expat kid, she has a soft spot for international efforts, like WMB. While she's not blogging, she's busy making words awesome for her clients, who avail of her marketing writing, website writing, and blog consulting services. Martine now resides in busy, sunny Manila, the Philippines, with her husband, Ton, and toddler son, Vito Sebastian. You can find her blogging at DaintyMom.com.
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by Kyla P'an (Portugal) | Feb 19, 2015 | 2015, Awareness, Being Thankful, Celebrations, Childhood, China, Culture, Education, Eye on Culture, Family, Husband, International, Kids, Life, Life Lesson, Marriage, Motherhood, Multicultural, Parenting, Relationships, Traditions, USA, World Events, World Motherhood, Younger Children
Solar year, 2015—celebrated in most of the Western world— is small potatoes compared to its lunar counterpart starting today: The Year of the Goat, 4713.
Today, in many countries across Asia, people are celebrating Chinese New Year [CNY]. It marks the first day of the lunar year, which begins with the second new moon after the Winter Solstice.
CNY is the most important holiday for Chinese people world-wide and is celebrated in countries with significant Chinese populations (Hong Kong, Macau, Singapore, Taiwan, Indonesia, Philippines, Thailand, Malaysia and Mauritius).
Even right here in America, in ways both big and small, Chinese families are celebrating the Year of the Goat too.
My husband, a first generation Chinese-American, brought his Chinese culture into our home and together we have established our own family traditions.
Both our 8 and 5 year old children attend Chinese Language School so our celebrations typically begin there. This year, each of our kids performed in a class skit—one doing a New Year’s song and the other both a song and dance.
Their Chinese school rents out a local auditorium and the celebration goes on for four hours, complete with traditional paper decorations, red lanterns and Chinese snacks of spring rolls, scallion pancakes and fortune cookies (the latter of which I’m pretty sure is a wholly American invention).
And though the four-hour Chinese school celebration feels long and drawn out, it’s nothing compared to the 15-day celebration going on over in Asia.
We live just outside of Boston, a city boasting a large Chinatown. If we’re really motivated, we can fight the crowds and view Lion Dancers, firecrackers in the street and dine on authentic Chinese fare surrounded by thousands of people.
This year, however, our city is buried under record amounts of snow (96.7in/2.5m) so we won’t be making any such pilgrimage.
Sometimes we have friends over and make homemade wontons, a symbolic food representing a pouch of coins, or Hot Pot. Other years we just make sure we eat some kind of Chinese food (either at home or in a restaurant).
We also make sure we always give our kids Hong Bao, little, red envelopes filled with “lucky” money. Since our kids don’t get an allowance, this feels special to them. We never give them very much because it’s the gesture that counts but if they happen to be lucky enough to visit their great-grandmother around Chinese New Year, they might get upwards of $50.
I know these little traditions are modest compared to mainland China but we hope that in our small way we are instilling in our children a some sense of the deep culture they are part of.
恭禧發財
Gong Xi Fa Cai!
How do you hold on to your cultural heritage? What are some traditions you’ve incorporated into your own family?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog from our managing editor and mother of two in Boston, Massachusetts, Kyla P’an.
The image used in this post was taken by the author.
Kyla was born in suburban Philadelphia but spent most of her time growing up in New England. She took her first big, solo-trip at age 14, when she traveled to visit a friend on a small Greek island. Since then, travels have included: three months on the European rails, three years studying and working in Japan, and nine months taking the slow route back from Japan to the US when she was done. In addition to her work as Managing Editor of World Moms Network, Kyla is a freelance writer, copy editor, recovering triathlete and occasional blogger. Until recently, she and her husband resided outside of Boston, Massachusetts, where they were raising two spunky kids, two frisky cats, a snail, a fish and a snake. They now live outside of Lisbon, Portugal with two spunky teens and three frisky cats. You can read more about Kyla’s outlook on the world and parenting on her personal blogs, Growing Muses And Muses Where We Go
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by Patricia Cuyugan (Philippines) | Feb 12, 2015 | Philippines, World Motherhood
I hate to put it this way, but there really is no better way to say it – There are days when it feels like my son is the embodiment of all the bad karma I’m getting for every nasty thing I did to my parents when I was growing up.
There, I said it. Now that it’s finally off my chest, I feel a little better. Just a little, though, because it kind of feels like I just called my baby boy a little devil, which he is on some days. And I am just being honest here.
Please tell me that I’m not the only one who has ever thought and felt this way, lest I be completely consumed by mommy guilt.
I don’t know what happened. One day, my cute little boy turned eight, and dealing with him suddenly started to feel like arguing with my 8-year old self!
The eye-rolling, the sarcasm, the frowny face complete with bunched up eyebrows – they were all there! And dear me, it looks like they’re here to stay. If this stage in his life is an indication that he will grow up to be exactly like me, then this boy’s dad and I are in for a roller coaster in the coming years.
I feel like he’s harder to deal with than I was, though. Maybe it’s because he’s a boy and there are times when I have trouble relating to him. Or maybe it’s really just harder when you’re on this side of the argument.
Oh my gosh, what a test of patience this is turning out to be.
How do I deal, world moms? How do I deal?
I suppose that when he gets really hard to manage, I should think about how I would want to be dealt with in the same situation, and go ahead and do that. Uncharacteristic and weird as it may be for me, it just might work.
I’ve been reading up on the tween years, which my boy is officially entering into on his next birthday, and it looks like his mood swings have only just begun. Online advice also tells me to give him the space that he needs to grow and adjust, because he also doesn’t quite understand his emotions yet. Do you agree with this?
Ironically, I lost my cool with him again just this morning, and in retrospect I know I should have just stopped myself, taken a deep breath, and walked away. But no, I let my own emotions get in the way.
As someone who is very hands-on, and who spends every single day with my son, I think it’s going to be a challenge for me to stand back and just let him be. Today’s incident proves just that. But hey, if it will make things better then of course I am more than ready to try.
If only I could find a shop that sells a limitless amount of patience, then I’d be armed and ready to take on more anger, more crying, and even more hyperactive moments of joy.
But I know, and my husband has reminded me of this several times, that the only place I can find this kind of patience and understanding is within my own heart. For this, I have nothing but my unending mommy love to count on. Over the years mommy love has proven to be enough, and I hope that it continues to BE enough. At the end of the day, I love the little guy, through the good and bad times.
Guess it’s time to temporarily deactivate my Hulk Mom mode. A new little monster is in the house. Literally. Good luck to me!
Tell me mommies, how do you deal with the mood swings and emotional roller coasters you go through with your kids? Does anyone else here feel like you’re arguing with yourself when you try to reason with your child?
Patricia Cuyugan is a wife, mom, cat momma, and a hands-on homemaker from Manila, whose greatest achievement is her pork adobo. She has been writing about parenting for about as long as she’s been a parent, which is just a little over a decade. When she’s not writing, you can usually find her reading a book, binge-watching a K-drama series, or folding laundry. She really should be writing, though! Follow her homemaking adventures on Instagram at @patriciacuyugs.
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by Susan Koh | Feb 5, 2015 | 2015, Awareness, Caring, Childhood, Inspirational, Life Balance, Motherhood, Parenting, Responsibility, Singapore, Susan Koh, Working Mother, World Motherhood, Younger Children
Since the start of the year, my daughter, Sophie, has been asking me to play with her as soon as we get home from work. I think it has to do with her anxiety about entering primary one in a year’s time (the age where formal studies start in Singapore). The teachers in her childcare have been telling her that she’ll have no time to play because she’ll have homework from school.
Some days, I’m glad to put down everything and play with her. But on other days, I’ll tell her to play on her own so that I can get down to the household chores. And on one of those days, when I was tired and frustrated after a full-day’s work, I lashed out at her for not being able to play independently when I have a hundred-and-one chores to see to, only to have her respond in tears.
When I questioned why she was so upset, she told me in between sobs that all children like to play and she really would like mummy to play with her.
A missed opportunity to play with your child, is a missed opportunity to enter their world and bond with them.
I can sense that my daughter’s request to play with her is really her way of saying:
“I want to spend time with you mummy”
“I want to do things with you daddy”
“I want you to be beside me”
While I may have my own agenda of what bonding with my daughter means, taking her to the playground, playing Lego, doing craft work, cooking pancakes together, her request is simply to put down what I’m doing and play with her.
And how can I allow her childhood to slip by without being a part of it? After all, we may not always have these moments:
- when our child still wants to play hide and seek with us
- our child asks for yet another bedtime story
- they hug us with all their might to show that they really really really love us
- they tickle us with the silliest things they say and infect us with their contagious laughter till our belly aches
- their little hands reach for ours looking for security in the middle of the night
- they plant a kiss on our cheeks and whisper, I love you mummy, for no reason at all; which melts us over and over again
The next time your child asks you to put down what you’re busy with so you can come play with her, don’t turn her down. A missed opportunity to play with your child, is a chance missed to enter her world and create special memories together.
What are some of the ways you take time out of your schedule to spend quality time playing with your child?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog from our contributor in Singapore, Susan Koh.
The images used in this post are attributed to the author.
Susan is from Singapore. As a full-time working mom, she's still learning to perfect the art of juggling between career and family while leading a happy and fulfilled life. She can't get by a day without coffee and swears she's no bimbo even though she likes pink and Hello Kitty. She's loves to travel and blogs passionately about parenting, marriage and relationship and leading a healthy life at A Juggling Mom.
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by Tina Santiago-Rodriguez (Philippines) | Jan 29, 2015 | 2015, Life, Life Lesson, Motherhood, Philippines, Tina Santiago-Rodriguez, World Motherhood
Wherever we may be in the world, suffering is something that we usually consider to be a “normal” part of our lives. Some of us endure it on an everyday basis, while others seem to suffer only during “true” times of tragedy and despair.
The truth is, all of us on this earth, every single one of us, have gone through a time suffering in one way or another. Here in the Philippines, we are currently experiencing “national suffering” of sorts, as over 40 people have been killed recently in clashes between the police’s Special Action Force and Muslim rebels.
I’m sure you have your own suffering to speak of, too, whether it’s of the personal kind, or on a wider scale. I’m also sure that you’ve seen other people suffer, too, and have wondered how you can help ease their suffering (I know I have on many occasions!).
While I don’t claim that this post will provide the ultimate solution for helping ease other people’s suffering, I do humbly submit that we can do what we can to help others, by doing these three things:
1. Share their pain.
Compassion is something that all of us should have, no matter what our race, nationality, color or religion. We moms usually tend to be more compassionate to the plight of others, and this is a beautiful thing. A compassionate soul is truly a blessing in this world, where unkindness, cruelty, selfishness and cynicism can darken our lives.
Whenever we see or hear of people suffering, let us try to share in their pain, sorrow, and grief. If you consider yourself the “religious” type, offer a prayer for them. Even if you’re not the type of person who prays, sending out positive thoughts and kind words can still make a difference.
2. Do good, starting in your own home and community.
Suffering is a global phenomenon and while most of us can only do “so much” to help others, we need to believe that the little we can do can actually go a long way.
Do you want to help those who suffer from hunger? Those who suffer from poverty? From depression? From national disasters? From the effects of war?
Start where you are. Do good in your own home. If you have kids, teach them to do the same. Reach out to others in your neighborhood and in your community. Visit the sick. Play with kids at an orphanage. Raise funds for the needy.
Simple things like these can really help those who are suffering. Heck, even just sharing posts about helping others who are suffering, like our social good posts on clean birth, can make a difference.
3. Tell others.
A lot of the people who are suffering in the world have no voice — they can’t speak for themselves for some reason or other. This is why communities like World Moms Blog exist — to give people a voice.
Speak for the suffering — share their plea to your networks. Tell your family members and friends about who and what is on your mind and in your heart. Talk about what’s happening in Nigeria, like our very own Aisha for example, or even just about moms who may have kids suffering from serious illnesses like leukemia, who may not be as “vocal” as you are. (If you need a “source” for posts for sharing, you can start here.)
At the end of the day, remember the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu’s quote that goes something like this:
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Know that you can make a difference in the lives of people who are suffering in different forms. It all begins with a decision, a choice to do so. So let’s take that “single step” together, shall we?
Tina Santiago-Rodriguez is a wife and homeschool mom by vocation, a licensed
physical therapist by education and currently the managing editor of Mustard, a
Catholic children's magazine published by Shepherd's Voice
Publications in the Philippines, by profession. She has been writing
passionately since her primary school years in Brunei, and contributes
regularly to several Philippine and foreign-based online and print publications. She also does sideline editing and scriptwriting jobs, when she has the time. Find out more about Tina through her personal
blogs: Truly Rich Mom and Teacher Mama Tina.
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