by Veena Davis (Singapore) | Feb 27, 2014 | 2014, School, Singapore, World Motherhood, Younger Children
My Little One started school during the New Year, and it was with great trepidation that we approached his impending education. And this was for many reasons…
For one thing, he knew no other language but our native tongue. And we were very concerned about how he’d interact in school. In fact, we were more concerned about how the teacher could understand him as there was no one who spoke or wrote the language at his school.
Second, this was truly his first foray into the outside world. He has lived a very sheltered 4 years, and was always at home with nearly no interaction with peers of his own age. This wasn’t intentional, rather, it just happened that everywhere we lived, the kids were always much bigger than him; and, he was also very shy.
Third, was for ourselves. We really had no clue on how to go about educating a little child. Both of us remember our mothers teaching us, but that was when we were much older. How does one go about getting a 4 year old to hold his pencil and learn the alphabet? What does one do when he says he wants to play now and study later? Do we force him to learn, or just let it go?
Despite our misgivings, our son started school on Jan 2nd, and the first day went okay. The school permitted parents to sit with kids on the first day, and we had a nice time watching the proceedings. The second day was when the waterworks started, and that lasted till last week.
Every morning, he’d wake up even before the alarm, and ask me if it was time for school. It is heart-wrenching to hear that plaintive tone in his voice…but as advised by many, we were not taking no for an answer. Come rain or shine, he had to go to school.
Then came the homework – for the first time, he had to write “A,B,C”, and we weren’t really sure how to tackle it either. Since neither my husband, nor I, were too endowed in the patience department, we didn’t have such a great time these past 2 months. Most days were filled with screams and cries as we forced the little thing to hold his pencil and write. And you know the funny thing – after we had screamed at him for inverting his Bs or not getting the right slant for his As, he would come up to us after an hour or so, and write a perfect A and B.
I know, we were horrible to him – and our only excuse is that we didn’t want to appear to be too lenient and that he get the impression that it was okay not to want to learn. And I don’t know if it was the terror of the home classes that made it doubly difficult for him to adjust to school, where everything was foreign to him.
You see, we feel like we are living a race now – once we get back home after work, we just have time for a bath and to eat, as Little One must be in bed atleast by 10, so that he wakes up fresh at 7 the next day for school.
But two weeks ago, we made the decision not to pressure him so much – because we were also distressed on seeing his pitiful face every time he had to learn something. We decided that any homework would be finished off speedily by holding his hand and helping him write it, while learning it would be done during the weekends, when there was no pressure on any one.
And I don’t know if it was this decision, or as Little One has made friends and adjusted to school – but since last week, he hasn’t cried at all when going to school. He seems more happy about school, and he keeps singing songs they sing in school. He tells me about the kids in his class (he is already interested in girls) and what he ate and the general happenings in school.
And the atmosphere at home is also different now, with him being happy about school and life in general feels so much more lighter and happier. The lesson I’ve learned from the school fiasco is not to pressurise kids so much that they lose all zest for life. His sad face, and moping around all evening was so depressing, and frankly, I was dreading the years up ahead.
After all, he is just 4 years old, and he is a bright little spark. Let him have his fun and the learning will come slowly.
Have you ever faced a situation like this? What do you do to get your kids to study?
Veena has experienced living in different climes of Asia - born and brought up in the hot Middle East, and a native of India from the state known as God’s Own Country, she is currently based in the tropical city-state of Singapore. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Several years ago, she came across World Moms Network (then World Moms Blog) soon after its launch, and was thrilled to become a contributor. She has a 11-year old son and a quadragenarian husband (although their ages might be inversed to see how they are with each other sometimes). ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ On a professional front, she works in the financial sector - just till she earns enough to commit to her dream job of full-time bibliophile. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ You can also find Veena at her personal blog, Merry Musing. ⠀
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by Fiona Biedermann (Australia) | Feb 24, 2014 | 2014, Oceania, Older Children, Social Media, World Motherhood
The mere fact that you’re reading this blog post means you have some understanding of social media and how it works. In this day and age you can’t escape the reach of social media, it’s everywhere from Facebook and Twitter to blog posts and everything in between.
Amazing things happen as a result of social media, families tracking down lost family members, people establishing support and advocacy for life changing programs at the blink of an eye, the ability to build and grow friendships and support networks across the world – social media is far reaching and rapid in its results.
As a parent though, social media can and should be terrifying.
For as quick as the good of social media duplicates and creates a movement it can also destroy and damage just as quickly. Reputations, lives, belief systems can all be damaged in the blink of an eye.
I was lucky in some ways, my children were teenagers at the very early onset of social media, so it didn’t impact largely on their early teenage years. As a mother though my mummy heart clenches with what I witness these days on Facebook and Twitter and what I see in the news.
Bullying drops to an all-time low when combined with the reach and anonymity that Facebook provides.
How, as a parent, do you combat this sort of rubbish when most of the time you may not even be aware it is happening? How do schools even get involved with what happens in the cyber world outside the school walls? Teenagers (our babies) are committing suicide because of on-line bullying which is sadly in the news too often these days.
The love of selfies and intimate photos which are shared on Facebook and Twitter amongst tweens and teens (and let’s face it even amongst adults). Something which is done on a whim, or a moment of little thought and once released are out there and never to be reined in again.
Future employers can locate this information, in fact anyone can access this information if they know where and how to look. No person should ever think that what they post is between them and their ‘friends’. I don’t know how many posts I see from parents and teachers posting messages ‘to prove how fast it can spread around the world’ to warn their children.
I read the most amazing post the other day by a mother which she sent to the friends of her child, I don’t know this woman nor her children, but boy did her post hit home and make me realise how important this new element of parenting is. I applaud this show of brave parenting.
You can read her post here.
I’ve always had my children as friends on Facebook, so that I know what they’re posting and what they’re doing. It’s not always an ideal solution because middle son has a tendency of un-friending me when drama is happening in his life. This is a warning in its self and now that he’s 20 I don’t have as much control, but at least it makes me ask questions.
My quick tips;
- Set the rules for social media use right from the start
- Know what they’re doing and who they’re interacting with
- Make sure you have them as friends on social media
- It also helps to be online friends with their friends
- Monitor but don’t dictate to them, you want them to trust you
- Be aware of what you’re posting yourself that they may see or read
I’d love to hear your thoughts on social media and what you do with your own children to keep them safe. My grandchildren are the next generation of social media users and I plan on being ready and armed to keep them safe in the cyber world.
This is an original World Moms Blog post by Inspiration to Dream of Adelaide, South Australia. Fiona is the writer of Inspiration to Dream and can be found writing or reading with every spare moment that isn’t filled up with work and her three boys, and of course with a bit of spare time thrown in for hubby as well.
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Fiona at Inspiration to Dream is a married mother of three amazing and talented MM’s (mere males, as she lovingly calls them) aged 13, 16 and 22, and she became a nana in 2011!
She believes she’s more daunted by becoming a nana than she was about becoming a mother! This Aussie mother figures she will also be a relatively young nana and she’s not sure that she’s really ready for it yet, but then she asks, are we ever really ready for it? Motherhood or Nanahood. (Not really sure that’s a word, but she says it works for her.)
Fiona likes to think of herself as honest and forthright and is generally not afraid to speak her mind, which she says sometimes gets her into trouble, but hey, it makes life interesting. She’s hoping to share with you her trials of being a working mother to three adventurous boys, the wife of a Mr Fix-it who is definitely a man’s man and not one of the ‘sensitive new age guy’ generation, as well as, providing her thoughts and views on making her way in the world.
Since discovering that she’s the first blogger joining the team from Australia, she also plans to provide a little insight into the ‘Aussie’ life, as well. Additionally, Fiona can be found on her personal blog at Inspiration to Dream.
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by Maureen | Feb 19, 2014 | Indonesia, School, Scoops of Joy, World Moms Blog, World Motherhood
classroom
Ever since my son started school I always have these odd feelings when it comes to socializing with the other moms.
It was my mental block.
Being a single mom, I used to fear about what the other parents will think of me and my boy. The school has been nothing but supportive and treat my boy no differently than his other friends who comes from a whole unit family.
Yes, my boy has his challenges in school.
My beautiful boy, who is a sensitive child, whose mom is quite outgoing, turns out to be shy. He sometimes has difficulty in social settings. It took him awhile to warms up to new situations and surroundings.
Maybe it was growing up alone. I raised him alone with his father without any family help or nanny until he was almost 2 years old. He had no friends around his age to play with until he started school. There were a lot of factors, yet, we are working on this together as a family. Maybe it was being an only grandson for years and having a dotting loving grandma who defends him like he’s a little king?
Yet I know he’s a loving sweet boy with a gentle soul.
When he was in per-Kindergarten and Kindergarten I did not socialize at all with the other parents from his school. Yes, I’d smile and say hi when we met at school’s events or functions but other than that I kept to myself.
I was afraid I would be judged for being a single mom.
I stood awkwardly alone in every single school events while the other kids had both their parents around. Sometimes I felt like I was wearing a big sign on my back that screamed out my status. I hate using the “I’m-a-single-mom” card unless it’s absolutely necessary. The school knew my status from day one, but not many of the other parents have known. They might eventually figure it out.
Now that my son is in the first grade, things are changing.
I have been a single mom for close to 4 years now, and I no longer feel ashamed of being one. I began to relax a bit and not really care about what other people thinks of being a divorcee.
Although I couldn’t be actively involved in school as much as I’d like to due to being a full time working mom, I am so grateful for these awesome homeroom moms.
For special moms who volunteer in school.
Here’s an ode to you lovely homeroom moms:
- Thank you for being our ‘representative’ while we working mom have to work long hours.
- Thank you for being our ‘voices’ to the homeroom teacher, assistant, and even the principal.
- Thank you for passing on to us information that sometimes was missed from the school’s communication book.
- Thank you for coordinating the costumes for our children’s school play.
- Thank you for helping individual kids who sometimes struggle alone and would be missed by the teacher or assistant because they are shy – just like my little boy.
- Thank you for the solidarity in watching and keep an eye on all our children there.
- Thank you for snapping pictures of school events and sharing them with us moms who couldn’t be there.
- Thank you for arranging a car pool.
- Thank you for devoting your time for our children.
- Thank you for being the wonderful ladies that you are.
This year, I am so grateful for these beautiful soul moms who have welcomed me warmly into the group.
Are you a homeroom mom? Are you actively involved in your children’s school?
This is an original post for World Moms Blog by Maureen of Scoops of Joy.
Photo credit to the author.
by Susan Koh | Feb 13, 2014 | Family, Life Balance, Marriage, Relationships, Singapore, Susan Koh, World Motherhood
World Moms, Susan Koh with her family
We’re just a day away from February 14, Valentine’s Day. And like most moms, we’ve probably stopped celebrating this overrated and grossly commercialized day. In fact for most moms, it’s likely going to be like any another regular day where we send the kids off at school, rush off to work then pick them up before dinner where the whole madness begins at home with the chores, schoolwork and all.
Maybe if we’re lucky, we get a Valentine’s Day card. As for flowers and a romantic dinner set up for two, that’s something to dream about… when your head hits the pillow that is. So is this still a day worth celebrating?
I’ll say yes because we could all use a reminder that we are all wives before we became a mom.
As moms, our lives are often caught up by the day to day demands of our kids that there is hardly any time left for our spouses. And if we do get any pockets of free time, we rather choose sleep anytime. But just like plants, marriages are to be cared for and nurtured in order to blossom and bloom. And while we may not want to get sucked into celebrating Valentine’s Day, it certainly is a day we could use to show our appreciation or do something special for our husbands.
I remember that on our 7th wedding anniversary last year, we celebrated it in an unconventional way by going to a water theme park. We felt like teenagers all over again, holding hands and laughing away as we rushed from one water slide to another, each one more exciting than the previous one. We giggled and had so much fun that day and till now, that day still holds so much memories for me. One of the things I said to my husband is that I want us to remember that we’re husband and wife as much as we’re a mummy and daddy because that’s how this family started off as.
Some simple ways we show that we love each other is going on lunch dates since date nights are a little harder to arrange. Texting each other just to say I’m thinking of you. Always showing appreciation for the big and small things and showing our daughter that we are still very much in love with each other.
And I’m so thankful that while I’m putting my husband first, he’s also doing the same because of this quote that he came across.
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
It’s not too late to plan a little something special for Valentine’s Day. In fact, if you are a practical one, everyday can be Valentine’s Day. Happy Valentine’s Day!
What are your Valentine’s Day plans as a parent? And how has was it different before you became a parent?
This is an original post by Susan Koh for World Moms Blog. She’s loves to travel and blogs passionately about parenting, marriage and relationship and leading a healthy life at www.ajugglingmom.com.
Photo credit to the author.
Susan is from Singapore. As a full-time working mom, she's still learning to perfect the art of juggling between career and family while leading a happy and fulfilled life. She can't get by a day without coffee and swears she's no bimbo even though she likes pink and Hello Kitty. She's loves to travel and blogs passionately about parenting, marriage and relationship and leading a healthy life at A Juggling Mom.
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by Ms. V. (South Korea) | Feb 11, 2014 | 2014, Korea, Moving, Pregnancy, World Moms Blog, World Motherhood, World Voice
After several very happy years here in Seoul, we are returning stateside. As I reflect on our time here and the coming transitions ahead I am feeling a bit anxious, a bit sad, and quite sentimental. I’m digging deep, hoping to find some excitement in there too, but so far no luck.
The day we left Seattle and moved to Asia we showed up at the airport with four large bags, three cats, and one golden retriever. I’m sure adding the 32-week pregnant weepy lady to the mix and the concerned husband trying to keep us all together, we were quite a sight to behold.
This time, we’ll be showing up with some more large bags, three cats, one toddler, and yet again, a weepy pregnant lady, this time 28 weeks pregnant.
Apparently I am destined to only move to the other side of the world while very pregnant.
Like everywhere else in the world, there is a lot to love about Korea as well as a lot of room for improvement, but it will always hold a special spot in my heart as it is where my husband and I first became parents. Being so far away from our families and friends as we made that huge transition was both challenging, and freeing. It was hard, but we had lots of space to make mistakes and figure out who we were, and who we wanted to be in those roles with no outside, though well-meaning, pressure or advice. That was and is priceless.
Seoul is an incredibly comfortable place to live. It’s a massive city with every amenity you could ever imagine and many that you couldn’t. (Cat café, anyone?) There is abundant, affordable, and efficient public transit, the streets are clean and safe, and you could never run out of things to do and see.
The things I will miss most:
Accommodation of and attitudes towards children. Probably partially due to the low birth rate and partially to the deeply emphasized culture of family, children are valued here in a way that I have never witnessed elsewhere. Thoughtful amenities for mothers and small children abound. There are public nursery spaces in department stores, train stations, bus stations, and elsewhere that offer clean and comfortable places to change a diaper, feed a hungry baby, or lay one down for a nap. Beyond this there is a general attitude of celebration and excitement surrounding babies, even if they are cranky and loud. I’ve never gotten anything other than sympathy and supportive offers of help when I’ve been out and about with a crying baby. Children have their own holiday here, Children’s Day, and it is a very big deal. The phrase “it takes a village” to raise a child is one that seems to be taken to heart here.
The greater good is more important than individual. This one can be a double-edged sword, obviously, but it is, in my humble opinion, the secret to the rapid economic growth and progress that Korea has seen in the last 50 years. Koreans take a great deal of pride in their “all for one and one for all” attitude and they have a lot to show for it: a 97% literacy rate; some of the highest test scores in the world in reading, math, and the sciences; a low unemployment rate; and national health insurance. This means Koreans have access to health care, quality education, and work at greater rates than many other developed countries. The value of this cannot be underestimated. Again, there are two sides to every coin, but for someone like me, coming from a country that focuses more on the rights of the individual this has been an interesting thing to observe. It reminds me of how my grandparents used to describe the American spirit during and immediately after WWII.
The food. Oh how I could go on and on about the food. Korean food is just amazing. It is simple, mostly healthful, colorful, and delicious. I will miss it terribly.
The things I’m looking forward to:
Friends and family. While it has been nice to have our space as we became parents, we’ve also deeply missed our loved ones. To have them closer, to be able to visit more frequently, will be a very welcome change. Especially with a new baby on the way! I have no idea what it’s like to have a new baby and have friends and family at the ready to offer help, food, shoulders to cry on, and ears for listening.
The food. Ok, so I love Korean food but I’m also going to love having easy access to all the old familiar and favorite ingredients. I’ve learned to do without in the years we’ve been here, but I’m pretty darn excited about easily getting my hands on pretty much anything I want.
Green, green, green. Speaking of double-edged swords, the rain in the Pacific Northwest may be a particular challenge to my constitution, but the luscious green it brings with it cannot be ignored. I love Seoul and I love big cities in general, but I am looking forward to that crisp mountain air, the beauty and peacefulness of Puget Sound, and all those evergreens.
As we slowly pack our things and make preparations for our departure, I feel so very grateful to have experienced this culture, which is so completely different to the one I was born into. The thing I have learned first and foremost is the abiding truth that humans are all much more alike than they are different.
Korean culture is valuable on it’s own, of course, but seen more generally in contrast to Western culture, it has given me an opportunity to observe a very different way of approaching society and the world in general. The way societies choose to organize themselves offers deep insights into what they value most. As with everything, these values are constantly changing and I look forward to being a keen observer of both Eastern and Western values as I age. Both have much to learn from each other and a balance between the two seems to me to be ideal. I’d like to see a deep and abiding commitment to the family structure without preset ideas of who and what makes a valid family; an emphasis on the common good that also allows for free expression and individuality; a high value placed on education and literacy that does not put undue pressure on students to seek perfection. I could go on but I will end here by saying that I look forward to incorporating the best of both cultures into my life and family, as a start.
I’ll be writing again from our new home in Washington State, once we get settled. In the meantime, be well!
This is an original post to World Moms Blog.
Have you ever lived abroad? What are the things you miss about where you were or home?
Ms. V returned from a 3-year stint in Seoul, South Korea and is now living in the US in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her partner, their two kids, three ferocious felines, and a dog named Avon Barksdale. She grew up all over the US, mostly along the east coast, but lived in New York City longer than anywhere else, so considers NYC “home.” Her love of travel has taken her all over the world and to all but four of the 50 states.
Ms. V is contemplative and sacred activist, exploring the intersection of yoga, new monasticism, feminism and social change. She is the co-director and co-founder of Samdhana-Karana Yoga: A Healing Arts Center, a non-profit yoga studio and the spiritual director for Hab Community. While not marveling at her beautiful children, she enjoys reading, cooking, and has dreams of one day sleeping again.
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by Karyn Wills | Feb 10, 2014 | 2014, Awareness, Being Thankful, Brothers, Childhood, Education, Family, Food, Health, Life Balance, Life Lesson, Milestones, Motherhood, Nature, New Zealand, Nutrition, Older Children, Parenting, Relationships, Traditions, Travel, Vacationing, World Motherhood
One of my enduring memories of childhood is of trapsing over paddocks, up and down hills, in gumboots too big for my feet picking mushrooms or blackberries. Eventually getting sore heels and aching legs. Eventually filling buckets and ice-cream containers with food.
Probably scrapping with my sisters. Probably moaning about having to do so. Definitely covered in blackberry juice and scratches on blackberry days. Definitely not impressed by having to pick mushrooms, which I didn’t like to eat.
This summer holiday, my boys got to harvest their own food. Not blackberries and mushrooms, though. They got to harvest seafood.
Tuatua (too-ah-too-ah) are a shellfish. The children love to collect them. We go out at almost low-tide or just after low-tide in thigh-high water. We do the Twist. Our feet sink into the wet sand and feel around for something hard. When we find one, we reach down and pick it up with our hands.
Sometimes, we are side-swiped by a wave. Sometimes, we pick up a round hard sea-biscuit instead. At times, instead of the Tuatua-Twist there is a Crab-Bite-Leap with occasional bad-language. There is almost always laughter and a competition to see who can find the most. This year, the boys and their cousins also took responsibility for collecting fresh seawater twice a day, to keep the Tuatuas in, while they spat out all the sand inside their shells. They kept them cool in the fridge and, when they were finally cooked, the children ate them: some with gusto, others not so much. To me, they taste a bit like chewy seawater…
Our eldest son, 12 year-old Joe, with his 13 year-old girl cousin, Billie, trapped their own crayfish.
Crayfish are related to rock-lobster and, in our extended family, are usually trapped off-shore and by boat, or dived for with scuba-gear and tanks. Joe and Billie had kayaked out around a small peninsula and discovered an old craypot on the rocks. They dragged it out of the sea and managed to convince their fathers to repair it. They then kayaked it out again and dropped it on a good rocky spot.
Each day they went out to check their pot, just as the adults do the other craypots. The first day they caught – seawater. The second day they caught – seawater. The third day they were a bit fed up and otherwise occupied, so didn’t go out. The fourth day or maybe it was the fifth, Billie was out fishing and Joe went out alone to see what was there and to bring the pot in for good. He was very excited to discover they had caught a legal-sized cray! Yes, duly cooked and eaten.
In these days where many children don’t know that carrots grow in the ground or that their meat comes from a real animal, I love that our boys are sometimes involved in the process of food-collection and the processes of preparing it for a meal. I know that these are the Good Old Days and these moments will create some of their childhood memories.
Do your children do similar things you did as a child? Are they involved in collecting or harvesting their own food?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog from our writer in New Zealand and mum of three boys, Karyn Van Der Zwet.
The image used in this post is credited to the author.
Karyn is a teacher, writer and solo mother to three sons. She lives in the sunny wine region of Hawke’s Bay, New Zealand in the city of Napier.
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