MASSACHUSETTS, USA: Blind (play) Dating

MASSACHUSETTS, USA: Blind (play) Dating

playdateLast week my 7-year-old daughter invited a friend over for a playdate after school. My daughter and this child aren’t close friends, in fact, they aren’t even in the same class at school but they did play on the same town soccer team last year and the child has invited my daughter over a few times—including to her 7th birthday party—so we were due to reciprocate.

This particular little girl comes from a family of four children. She lives nearby in a large house in a posh sub-division and with four kids in her home, they have a lot of toys and things to play with.

Furthermore, her mom is one of those Alpha moms, who runs various nominated volunteer positions at school and who always seems to have her stuff together: pressed and polished at morning drop-off and calm and controlled when you see her in the pick-up line at the end of the day. You know the sort. (more…)

Kyla P'an (Portugal)

Kyla was born in suburban Philadelphia but spent most of her time growing up in New England. She took her first big, solo-trip at age 14, when she traveled to visit a friend on a small Greek island. Since then, travels have included: three months on the European rails, three years studying and working in Japan, and nine months taking the slow route back from Japan to the US when she was done. In addition to her work as Managing Editor of World Moms Network, Kyla is a freelance writer, copy editor, recovering triathlete and occasional blogger. Until recently, she and her husband resided outside of Boston, Massachusetts, where they were raising two spunky kids, two frisky cats, a snail, a fish and a snake. They now live outside of Lisbon, Portugal with two spunky teens and three frisky cats. You can read more about Kyla’s outlook on the world and parenting on her personal blogs, Growing Muses And Muses Where We Go

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TANZANIA: My “Work-Cation” in NYC

TANZANIA: My “Work-Cation” in NYC

wmb crewNothing about my New York trip was what I thought it would have been. ‘Accompanying my significant other’ was the answer I gave to the lady at the visa section.

Neither she nor I had any idea what NY – “the city where dreams are made of” – had in store.  Okay, maybe I am being a bit dramatic, but the vacation I thought I was to going have, was about to have a new prefix: work.  It was to become a “work-cation.”

Before leaving for the Big Apple, I reached out to any available World Moms in the area on facebook, and almost instantly I had my first set of meetings with the WMB founder, Jennifer Burden. (more…)

NEW JERSEY, USA: Former US President & First Lady Carter are the “Real Deal” for World Habitat Day

NEW JERSEY, USA: Former US President & First Lady Carter are the “Real Deal” for World Habitat Day

Carters Habitat 2013

When it comes to helping people outside the United States, Former President Jimmy Carter says, “We don’t distinguish.”

In celebration of this week’s World Habitat Day, Carter said last Saturday, “We think the folks [we build housing for] in other countries are just as good and needy as the folks in America.”

The message that President Jimmy Carter and First Lady Rossalyn Carter brought to Union Beach, NJ, a town that was hit by Hurricane Sandy almost one year ago, was one of hope, for the people there and the people all around the world.

The Carters have spent over 3 decades giving a hand up to families in need of affordable shelter through Habitat for Humanity, a Christian non-profit that builds housing for the people who need it most.  And, by the looks of it, they are not stopping.  Last week, on the Habitat for Humanity work site in Union Beach, NJ, the President and First Lady, in their work clothes, helped build house framing for over 2 hours. (They are for real, guys.) This was the tail end of the Carter work project this year that went around the United States and ended in New Jersey.

The local branch of Habitat for Humanity in Monmouth County, New Jersey, USA, has completed 40 homes since Super Storm Sandy hit in October of last year. Eighty percent of their service area was affected by the storm from the town of Aberdeen to the town of Ocean.

First Lady Rossalyn Carter stated, “This [worksite] was a special one for us. Super storm Sandy hit, and we’ve been worried about you all ever since.”

Mr. Lamberson is interviewed by the Press on the Carter's worksite.  That's his home in the background being rebuilt after Super Storm Sandy damaged it almost one year ago.

Mr. Lamberson is interviewed by the Press on the Carter’s worksite. That’s his home in the background being rebuilt after Super Storm Sandy damaged it almost one year ago.

The Carters have proved themselves tireless champions of human justice.

“We find that Habitat home owners were hopeless and have never known success. They’ve been promised outside help that never arrived, but Habitat is not that way. Local people decide what kind of houses to build, where and which families. Lots of the homeowners become transformed.”  — President Carter.

The Former President also explained that the houses in Union Beach were being raised by 8 feet to withstand any future super storms. He said, “Places have to be prepared for the next natural disaster.”

The Habitat model is not a 100% hand out.  Homeowners pay the full cost of the house, and they must put in at least 100 hours of work.  However, in most cases, their mortgage is 0% interest.

And the organization requests their volunteers fundraise or pay to help, as well as, dedicate their woman and man hours.

Former First Lady Rossalyn Carter explained that education can be greatly effected when children do not have a home, and she referred to a family in Seattle, Washington, USA who were living in their automobile.  After they moved into their Habitat home, their son became top of his class just months after moving into their Habitat home.

The Former First Lady described another mother who previously cringed to answer her door to her substandard housing because it was often the police saying that her sons were in trouble. Her sons were never home. After Habitat arrived and built them a new house, her sons returned home with their friends because they were proud of where they lived and were staying out of trouble.

These are the types of examples that keep the Carters going and using their celebrity to further the cause for adequate housing.

Kelly is a mom of twins whose home was flooded in Super Storm Sandy last year.  Her family is displaced and still waiting for their home to be finished. She came by with her kids to catch a glimpse of the Carters on Saturday.

“Hurricane Sandy Survivor” — Kelly is a mom of twins whose home was flooded in Super Storm Sandy last year. Her family is still displaced and waiting for work on their home to be finished almost one year later (not a Habitat home). She came by with her kids to catch a glimpse of the Carters on Saturday.

“When we go to South Africa, South Korea, the Philippines, Europe, Hungary , and 3 times in Mexico, people are the same wherever we go.” — Former First Lady Rossalyn Carter

Exactly.

This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Founder, Jennifer Burden in NJ, USA. Jennifer is no stranger to Habitat for Humanity.  As a junior at Villanova University, she spent a week building an adobe-style house in New Mexico, USA for a low-income family through the organization. 

Jennifer Burden of World Moms Blog with Jennifer Sneed of Habitat for Humanity in Monmouth County, NJ at the Carter worksite in Union Beach, NJ on October 12, 2013.

Jennifer Burden of World Moms Blog with Jennifer Sneed of Habitat for Humanity in Monmouth County, NJ at the Carter worksite in Union Beach, NJ on October 12, 2013.

Photo credits to the author.  

Jennifer Burden

Jennifer Burden is the Founder and CEO of World Moms Network, an award winning website on global motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. World Moms Network writes from over 30 countries, has over 70 contributors and was listed by Forbes as one of the “Best 100 Websites for Women”, named a “must read” by The New York Times, and was recommended by The Times of India. She was also invited to Uganda to view UNICEF’s family health programs with Shot@Life and was previously named a “Global Influencer Fellow” and “Social Media Fellow” by the UN Foundation. Jennifer was invited to the White House twice, including as a nominated "Changemaker" for the State of the World Women Summit. She also participated in the One Campaign’s first AYA Summit on the topic of women and girl empowerment and organized and spoke on an international panel at the World Bank in Washington, DC on the importance of a universal education for all girls. Her writing has been featured by Baby Center, Huffington Post, ONE.org, the UN Foundation’s Shot@Life, and The Gates Foundation’s “Impatient Optimists.” She is currently a candidate in Columbia University's School of International and Public Affairs in the Executive Masters of Public Affairs program, where she hopes to further her study of global policies affecting women and girls. Jennifer can be found on Twitter @JenniferBurden.

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SINGAPORE: The Caregiving Dilemma

SINGAPORE: The Caregiving Dilemma

Credit: FrameAngel, freedigitalphotos.net

Credit: FrameAngel, freedigitalphotos.net

My mom has just been diagnosed with dementia. I knew it in my heart even before the geriatrician announced his diagnosis. The signs were there – her poor memory, her inability to reason, and in recent times, her increased anxiety and (almost incessant) repetitive questioning. That last bit has been the hardest part to deal with.

At the moment, I am very blessed to have a good live-in helper. But her work contract is coming to an end soon and I am not confident that she will stay. If I’m in her position, I’ll choose to work elsewhere. It is one tough job.

So a thought that I have pushed away for a while is resurfacing: Should I send my mom to a nursing home?

While it seems common for people in the ‘West’ to live in a nursing home in their old age, the decision to send one’s parents to an old folks’ home in this part of the world is often imbued with moral implications.

Here, we are inculcated with the value of filial piety from young and children are expected to look after their parents in their old age. Sending one’s parents to a nursing home is often frowned upon as being unfilial.

A long time ago, I used to think the same way, too, that sending one’s parents to a nursing home is wrong. Back then, life was just black or white; grey was not accommodated. But after I graduated from university and started my first job as a medical social worker, it opened my eyes to the predicaments of caregiving and I realized my views had been too simplistic. Placing one’s parents in a home does not mean the children no longer love or care for their parents. Sometimes, it’s simply that the level of care required by the elderly person is beyond the children’s abilities to manage. (more…)

Ruth

Ruth lives in Singapore, a tiny island 137 kilometres north of the equator. After graduating from university, she worked as a medical social worker for a few years before making a switch to HR and worked in various industries such as retail, banking and manufacturing. In spite of the invaluable skills and experiences she had gained during those years, she never felt truly happy or satisfied. It was only when she embarked on a journey to rediscover her strengths and passion that this part of her life was transformed. Today, Ruth is living her dreams as a writer. Ironically, she loves what she does so much that at one point, she even thought that becoming a mom would hinder her career. Thanks to her husband’s gentle persuasions, she now realises what joy she would have missed out had she not changed her mind. She is now a happy WAHM. Ruth launched MomME Circle, a resource site to support and inspire moms to create a life and business they love. She has a personal blog Mommy Café where she writes about her son's growing up and shares her interests such as food and photography.

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DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF CONGO: The Picture That Did Me In

MamaYouyou1

This summer our three-year-old daughter had her tonsils and adenoids removed.  Many children have this routine surgery, but we still teared-up a bit as they wheeled her away. Then we enjoyed our coffee while we waited for the surgeon to tell us everything went “just fine.”  Because we knew it would be. Even if there was a complication we rest assured in the fact that we were in the United States.

This summer Mama Youyou, our nanny in Congo, also had a routine surgery and we were scared out of our minds. Mama Youyou waited to have her surgery until we left for our summer break in the States so she wouldn’t have to take off work. (Bless her.) When she told us she needed the surgery, we did everything we could to make sure she had access to good health care.

You see, Mama Youyou has already outlived her life expectancy as a Congolese woman. Complications during routine surgeries in DRC, and lack of access to medical care, are the type of thing that keeps her life expectancy rate down. (more…)

BRAZIL:  Patience, Acceptance and the Symbolic Mother

BRAZIL: Patience, Acceptance and the Symbolic Mother

patienceMy maternity leave is now coming to an end, but throughout it a typical week day has meant about 12-14 hours alone with the kids.

I usually wake up at 5:20 a.m. and my husband leaves with our eldest around six. I spend my mornings with our 2 ½ year old girl and our six month old baby boy. Our son returns from school approximately 1:30 p.m. Sometimes my husband returns early, but he usually gets home between 6 and 8 p.m. depending on traffic, his schedule, etc.

I love my kids dearly. Yet any mother knows that such a routine is not easy. On the typical day, by 6 p.m. my patience starts to wane. By nature I have a calm personality, but if there is screaming on my side, 90% of the time it will be after 6 p.m.

I once heard that 6 p.m. is one of the most difficult times of the day. On an individual level it is the time when stress peaks and on a collective level it is the time when most crime, car accidents and other such things happen. I don’t know if there is data backing that, but in a way it does make sense.

In my case, it is around 6 p.m. that the less-than-noble feelings will start to take over my mind, such as resentment, self-pity and repetitive worrying about pending work (although I have been legally on leave and have not been teaching, I did choose to maintain some activities from home). Other days I wish I could just stop working and truly be a full-time mother.

One thing that has helped is practicing acceptance and gratitude: A student sent me her research project two weeks ago and I haven’t even managed to open the file. Sorry, I am doing the best I can. My daughter has been screaming for 15 minutes in a temper tantrum. How great that she is healthy and her lungs are working! The kitchen sink is piled with dishes and the whole house is a mess. Things will get better as the kids grow older.

Of course it is easier said than done and one thing I try to do every day is to pray that my patience lasts past the kids’ bedtime.

I recently thought about how in the past it was a custom here in Brazil – a mostly catholic country – for the radios to play the Ave Maria in Latin at 6 p.m. In the small town I lived in when I was little, the Catholic church’s bells also tolled at six.

I haven’t been much of a radio listener for the past few years so I went on the web to check if the custom was still present. I learned it is a practice that has been carried out here in Brazil for the last 54 years. It comes from an old Portuguese tradition that in turn derives from the Angelus [*] – a Christian devotion recited at 6 a.m., midday and 6 p.m., which refers to Mary and the Annunciation. In simple terms, it is a time of prayer and meditation.

While reading about the 6 p.m. devotion and thinking about the emotional condition of mothers who spend the whole day alone with their children, I realized that it was the kind of practice that makes sense in the context of motherhood. After all, regardless of religion or debates on the specifics of Mary’s story, in a greater context she can be seen as a symbol of an inspiring and caring mother.

With that in mind, this week I am experimenting with short “Mary meditations” around 6 p.m. to see if it helps extend and deepen my patience and acceptance.

And you? What strategies do you use to help you face the challenges of the day-to-day motherhood routine?

[*] If there are any Catholics out there reading this and I am explaining this wrong please correct me! I was sort of raised Catholic in a Catholic country but I’m not actually Catholic, so I don’t have in-depth knowledge of the Angelus.

This is an original post to World Moms Blog from our devoted writer and mother of three in Brazil, EcoZiva.

The photo used in this post was taken by the author.

Ecoziva (Brazil)

Eco, from the greek oikos means home; Ziva has many meanings and roots, including Hebrew (brilliance, light), Slovenian (goddess of life) and Sanskrit (blessing). In Brazil, where EcoZiva has lived for most of her life, giving birth is often termed “giving the light”; thus, she thought, a mother is “home to light” during the nine months of pregnancy, and so the penname EcoZiva came to be for World Moms Blog. Born in the USA in a multi-ethnic extended family, EcoZiva is married and the mother of two boys (aged 12 and three) and a five-year-old girl and a three yearboy. She is trained as a biologist and presently an university researcher/professor, but also a volunteer at the local environmental movement.

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