A few days ago I sat down at my computer (after the girls were asleep, the next day’s lunches were packed and the kitchen was cleaned up…but that may be another post) to catch up on personal e-mail and Facebook. As I was scrolling through my friends’ updates, I came across one from a friend who wrote, “Awww, my husband just bought me my push gift! I love you honey!!” I had to re-read the post and then asked myself…a WHAT gift?
I opened up a new window to do an internet search. The first listing that the search engine came up with, by Parenting Magazine, gave it away – “10 Amazing Push Gifts: Presents for New Moms”. The subheading read, “Start dropping hints about these amazing presents for new mommies.”
My first reaction? What rock have I been living under that I have never heard of a push gift? My second reaction? Really? A push gift? I’ve heard so many stories from women who have had trouble getting pregnant, or don’t get to carry their pregnancies to term — getting your newborn child isn’t enough of a gift?
My husband was working on his laptop nearby, so I turned and asked him if he had ever heard of a “push gift”. Without looking up, he says, “a what gift?” I respond, “a push gift”. He then looks up at me and says, “use it in a sentence”. I laugh and don’t feel so bad that I’m not the only one who has never heard of the term. So this “push gift” concept has peaked my interest, and I proceed to open the second listing, which is from Wikipedia.
As it turns out, the practice of giving a gift to celebrate a birth can be traced back to India and England. Wikipedia doesn’t elaborate much more on this, so anyone from India or England reading this post, please do feel free to share about this tradition!
In some ways that I know of, I would say people do this here, in the US. Women are thrown baby showers before delivering and get baby gifts. I didn’t even have a baby shower with my second baby and still received welcome gifts for my baby girl right before and after she was born. I also like to offer to cook something for friends with a new baby — a casserole, ziti or lasagna – you know how crazy that time is after you get home from the hospital with a new baby! I would call those push gifts, but apparently they don’t meet the definition.
So what is a “push gift”? According to Wikipedia, a “push gift” is a present given to a new mother by her partner when she gives birth to their child. “In practice the present may be given before or after the birth, or even in the delivery room. The giving of push presents has grown in the United States in recent years.”
Well, wanting to know more, I click on two news article links that Wikipedia has posted under their entry. Wow – it turns out that push gifts are usually expensive gifts – and most of the time jewelry! I decide to check my copy of Emily Post’s Etiquette book for any additional information, but guess what? While there are references to baby gifts, “push gift” is not even in the index. When in doubt, Emily Post is my go-to resource for etiquette guidelines, so this makes me smile.
We’ve all got our “push” stories, some were express deliveries, others marathons, and some with complications that completely altered what we expected the process to be like. After both of my deliveries, I have been grateful for the gift of life itself….two beautiful and healthy daughters.
Sure, my body is not the same as it was before I was ever pregnant…and I’ll admit that a pair of diamond earring studs would be nice to have, but I would rather put the money in the kids’ 529 college savings accounts, a house, or a family vacation. Right now I am thankful to be healthy to be able to enjoy the ups and handle the downs that come with the very important title of “Mommy”. No “push present” could ever make me feel that good.
So, what do you think about push gifts? Did you get one? If you didn’t, do you wish you did?
This is an original World Moms Blog post by Eva Fannon from Washington, USA. Eva can be found “Push-gift-less in Seattle” and content on Twitter @EvaFannon.
Photo credit of the Hope Diamond to the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History, where the diamond can be found on display in Washington, D.C., USA. http://mineralsciences.si.edu/hope.htm.
Eva Fannon (USA)
Eva Fannon is a working mom who lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her hubby and two girls. She was born and raised on the east coast and followed her husband out west when he got a job offer that he couldn't refuse. Eva has always been a planner, so it took her a while to accept that no matter how much you plan and prepare, being a mom means a new and different state of "normal". Despite the craziness on most weekday mornings (getting a family of four out the door in time for work and school is no easy task!), she wouldn't trade being a mother for anything in the world. She and her husband are working on introducing the girls to the things they love - travel, the great outdoors, and enjoying time with family and friends. Eva can be found on Twitter @evafannon.
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All though I have never heard the term “push gift” used before, my husband did actually give me a ring after I was finished eh pushing… This is quite common I believe especially amongst our friends in the UK. (I hate the name of it though, “push gift”, doesn’t sound very nice or romantic does it!)
I do agree that it is a bit of a strange thing as, like you say, you have just received (or pushed out) the biggest gift possible (i.e. your baby) – but at the same time I just love my ring 🙂 (I would just like to clarify that it is not an expensive piece of jewelry, just a wee ‘token’ 🙂
Hi Asta – you’re right, “push gift” does not sound very romantic! And I’m sure the wee token serves as a nice reminder of the memories of that day 🙂
All though I have never heard the term “push gift” used before, my husband did actually give me a ring after I was finished eh pushing… This is quite common I believe especially amongst our friends in the UK. (I hate the name of it though, “push gift”, doesn’t sound very nice or romantic does it!)
I do agree that it is a bit of a strange thing as, like you say, you have just received (or pushed out) the biggest gift possible (i.e. your baby) – but at the same time I just love my ring 🙂 (I would just like to clarify that it is not an expensive piece of jewelry, just a wee ‘token’ 🙂
Hi Asta – you’re right, “push gift” does not sound very romantic! And I’m sure the wee token serves as a nice reminder of the memories of that day 🙂
I haven’t heard of “push gifts” – and find the name somewhat distasteful, to tell the truth! I have heard of “maternity rings”, in place of (or as well as!) “eternity rings” traditionally given as a (first?) wedding anniversary gift from a husband to his wife – often a companion piece to the engagement ring, so that the two bracket the wedding ring.
I didn’t get a maternity or eternity ring, and didn’t want them, but it amused me that my husband thought I was making it up when I mentioned the concept one day! 🙂
You’re right – the best gift is a healthy happy baby.
I hadn’t heard of the maternity rings Kate – interesting – thanks for sharing!
I haven’t heard of “push gifts” – and find the name somewhat distasteful, to tell the truth! I have heard of “maternity rings”, in place of (or as well as!) “eternity rings” traditionally given as a (first?) wedding anniversary gift from a husband to his wife – often a companion piece to the engagement ring, so that the two bracket the wedding ring.
I didn’t get a maternity or eternity ring, and didn’t want them, but it amused me that my husband thought I was making it up when I mentioned the concept one day! 🙂
You’re right – the best gift is a healthy happy baby.
I hadn’t heard of the maternity rings Kate – interesting – thanks for sharing!
I love your take on the push-gift Eva!
Asta you’re correct, in the UK it’s traditional to receive an “eternity ring” as a gift from your significant other after giving birth. And like yours, usually they are just a “wee token”, nothing too extravagant. I agree with Kate@upsidebackwards, the term “push gifts” is very distasteful!!
Thanks Jenny!
I love your take on the push-gift Eva!
Asta you’re correct, in the UK it’s traditional to receive an “eternity ring” as a gift from your significant other after giving birth. And like yours, usually they are just a “wee token”, nothing too extravagant. I agree with Kate@upsidebackwards, the term “push gifts” is very distasteful!!
I’ve never heard of it, and if I were the queen of definitions I’d give the term a completely different meaning. It would be used to denote a very large stress ball thrust into the labouring mom’s arms by the panicking Dad-to-be as he desperately says, “Here’s your push gift, honey. Please stop punching me in the face every time you have a contraction!”
You have me laughing out loud 😀
I’ve never heard of it, and if I were the queen of definitions I’d give the term a completely different meaning. It would be used to denote a very large stress ball thrust into the labouring mom’s arms by the panicking Dad-to-be as he desperately says, “Here’s your push gift, honey. Please stop punching me in the face every time you have a contraction!”
You have me laughing out loud 😀
hmmm, what if, er, you didn’t “push”?!? haha. Alas, I’ve never heard of the term, either. I poseed the ladies here in the PICU and none of them have heard the term either. Babies are excellent gifts, but I suppose a little bit of ‘bling’ wouldn’t be refused!! Great post! ;D
Good point – what if you didn’t push? With my first I was overdue, found out she had managed to flip to present breech, had an external cephalic version (I was determined to labor and have a vaginal delivery!), got induced, there were complications, and after 24 hours of chaos, ended up with a c-section. I’m thinking maternity gift or baby gift would be a more appropriate term.
hmmm, what if, er, you didn’t “push”?!? haha. Alas, I’ve never heard of the term, either. I poseed the ladies here in the PICU and none of them have heard the term either. Babies are excellent gifts, but I suppose a little bit of ‘bling’ wouldn’t be refused!! Great post! ;D
Good point – what if you didn’t push? With my first I was overdue, found out she had managed to flip to present breech, had an external cephalic version (I was determined to labor and have a vaginal delivery!), got induced, there were complications, and after 24 hours of chaos, ended up with a c-section. I’m thinking maternity gift or baby gift would be a more appropriate term.
So let me see…if I lived in the UK, I would have gotten a push gift and if I lived in Norway, I would have gotten a really nice, long maternity leave with pay. Now, if we can combine the two, we’d be looking at a very sweet Caribbean vacay! It would be great for the new baby and parents to bond and relax to the sounds of the sea. Let’s bring that tradition to the US! 😀
Sounds perfect Maggie!
So let me see…if I lived in the UK, I would have gotten a push gift and if I lived in Norway, I would have gotten a really nice, long maternity leave with pay. Now, if we can combine the two, we’d be looking at a very sweet Caribbean vacay! It would be great for the new baby and parents to bond and relax to the sounds of the sea. Let’s bring that tradition to the US! 😀
Sounds perfect Maggie!
I so dislike the term “push” gift, too! For me, it feels like it downplays the victory. We “push” carts in the grocery store, too. And you moms are right — what about those that didn’t push?
I did receive a gift after having my daughter, but like you, Eva, I have heard the term “push gift” only from a post on facebook! I received a pendant of a mom and baby from my husband, nothing flashy, just something extra to celebrate the day. But, I really loved your post. The true gift is the baby!! That is for sure. 🙂
Veronica Samuels
I so dislike the term “push” gift, too! For me, it feels like it downplays the victory. We “push” carts in the grocery store, too. And you moms are right — what about those that didn’t push?
I did receive a gift after having my daughter, but like you, Eva, I have heard the term “push gift” only from a post on facebook! I received a pendant of a mom and baby from my husband, nothing flashy, just something extra to celebrate the day. But, I really loved your post. The true gift is the baby!! That is for sure. 🙂
Veronica Samuels
I heard of the *push gift* when I was pregnant with my 1st daughter. I told my husband that I wanted fresh flowers more than anything to decorate my hospital room. My sister had dried her roses after her first daughter was born and I loved that idea. I dried the flowers and have them set aside for her to handle when she is older.
Another term that was new to me when I became pregnant with my 2nd child was a *sprinkle* – which I found out was a party for a woman having her 2nd, 3rd and so forth child. My girlfriend informed me that at a baby shower you receive most of the main gifts you’ll need for your children. She explained that *sprinkles* still pamper the mother (again) to be, the mothers just don’t get mounds and mounds of gifts. It’s more laid back.
I LOVE the dried flowers idea Courtney! I have some dried flowers from my wedding bouquet in a little frame that is nestled into the lid of a box where I keep jewelry.
I had not heard the idea of a “sprinkle”, but that’s great! Learning a lot from everyone’s response to my post – thanks everyone!
I love the sprinkle, too! 😀
I love the sprinkle, too! 😀
Here we don’t get “showers” or “sprinkels” – but we all give presents when we first meet the baby. Some of our friends gave presents to me instead of the baby, it took me totally by surprise but it was so nice. I remember receiving tea, chocolate and shower gel from a friend, nothing fancy, but I still think it is the most considerate present I have ever got (just a little something to tell me to look after myself as well).
Such a good reminder Asta – for moms to take care of themselves 🙂
Here we don’t get “showers” or “sprinkels” – but we all give presents when we first meet the baby. Some of our friends gave presents to me instead of the baby, it took me totally by surprise but it was so nice. I remember receiving tea, chocolate and shower gel from a friend, nothing fancy, but I still think it is the most considerate present I have ever got (just a little something to tell me to look after myself as well).
Such a good reminder Asta – for moms to take care of themselves 🙂
I kid you not when I tell you, that each of my 5 children were my “push gifts”, but my husband would always bring me an exotic bouquet of flowers. He knew I hated roses, because they were so common and so easy to get. So after delivering he would bring me flowers I’d never seen or heard of, i.e. “lady slippers” I worked hard and long for each one (with the exception of my daughter – only 30 minutes to deliver her), and there is nothing anyone could buy for me having a baby. My babies were more than enough of a gift. I brought the seeds, my husband brought the water, together we have a bouquet that I hope to have last a life-time. So many people seem to need to have someone always buying them something.
Netherland, I love the analogy of your children to the bouquet you and your husband have put together – that is beautiful. And you are so right, our children are indeed our push gifts 🙂
I kid you not when I tell you, that each of my 5 children were my “push gifts”, but my husband would always bring me an exotic bouquet of flowers. He knew I hated roses, because they were so common and so easy to get. So after delivering he would bring me flowers I’d never seen or heard of, i.e. “lady slippers” I worked hard and long for each one (with the exception of my daughter – only 30 minutes to deliver her), and there is nothing anyone could buy for me having a baby. My babies were more than enough of a gift. I brought the seeds, my husband brought the water, together we have a bouquet that I hope to have last a life-time. So many people seem to need to have someone always buying them something.
Netherland, I love the analogy of your children to the bouquet you and your husband have put together – that is beautiful. And you are so right, our children are indeed our push gifts 🙂