Five and a half years ago, my husband and I found out we were pregnant with our first child, and we were ecstatic. There was so much planning to do. We had to decide on a name for a girl and one for a boy since we chose not to find out what we were having. We had to figure out how long we could afford for me to stay at home with the baby, and what we would do for childcare once I returned to work.
We had to assess whether or not our cars were appropriate for a newborn and all of the items they require (which, by the way, one totally wasn’t). And, one of the major decisions we had to make was whether or not we would circumcise our baby if we had a boy.
I assumed that most Americans circumcised their boys, regardless of their religious beliefs, because it’s a common practice in the States. So, naturally, parents want their boys to fit in by looking like all the other boys out there. I had also heard that it kept the penis cleaner and lowered the chances of contracting STDs. Having parents from Spain, a country where less than 2% of the male population is circumcised, made me question whether or not I was willing to approve of a circumcision for my child.
My mother was about 7 months pregnant with my oldest brother when she came to the States in 1973. That year, about 90% of boys born in U.S. hospitals were circumcised (see link for stats). My mother asked her doctor why people chose this procedure for their babies and was told that it was mostly for religious reasons, and that there was no compelling medical reason to do it.
Being Catholic, she saw no reason to have my brother circumcised. Her strong beliefs against circumcision definitely influenced my beliefs, but I still worried about having a son who would get made fun of in the high school locker room. I needed to do some research.
The first place I visited was the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) web site. There was a policy statement from March 1, 1999, which was reaffirmed September 1, 2005, stating the following:
“Existing scientific evidence demonstrates potential medical benefits of newborn male circumcision; however, these data are not sufficient to recommend routine neonatal circumcision. In circumstances in which there are potential benefits and risks, yet the procedure is not essential to the child’s current well-being, parents should determine what is in the best interest of the child (see link).”
Okay. So the AAP doesn’t recommend routine circumcision, even given the potential medical benefits. And the research I did online showed a very small likelihood of medical benefits from the procedure. But, that still didn’t address my concern about my son feeling self-conscious about his funny-looking willy…
So, I wanted to see just how many little boys out there were running around with no foreskin. The World Health Organisation estimated that as of 2006, 30% to 33% of males aged 15 or older are circumcised worldwide. In the U.S., it appeared as though about 60% of males were being circumcised (see link).
That statistic was lower than I had expected. Since we are living in an era of major globalization, I felt like my son would be more like the other boys if I didn’t circumcise him. So, my mind was made up. I would leave the little man’s penis just as God had created it. But, what would my American husband think?
My husband asked me not to discuss his penis on my blog. So, this is all I’ll say about his penis: he was born in the U.S. in 1977. You can draw your own conclusions.
Anyway, when I told him I didn’t want to circumcise our son, and I shared with him my reasons why, he was 100% supportive. I have to say, I was a little surprised because I thought he would have a stronger opinion about his son’s penis than me, but I was also super happy that he was on board.
Then the big day arrived. My water broke the evening of my due date and my baby was born the following morning. (I’m very punctual.) And guess what? We had a girl! But all the time spent making a decision about whether or not we would circumcise our baby boy did not go to waste. Three years later, we had a boy. And I’m sure you can guess what we did.
Before you gave birth was the question of whether or not to circumcise a male child an issue that you debated about? Or, was the choice easy for you?
This is an original World Moms Blog post by Kally Mocho in New Jersey, USA. Kally is proud of her Spanish Basque heritage and can be found speaking to her children at home in her parents’ native tongue.
Photo credit to http://www.flickr.com/photos/46420824@N07/4265531456/. This photo has a creative commons attribution license.
I am really surprised to hear that most Americans circumcise their boys and that this is common practice as I have always thought this was related to religion.
I knew that we were having a boy but circumcision was never even a topic, and I have not heard anybody discuss it as it is really not common practice here (in Norway).
So I learned something new today! 🙂
It’s very common here. In fact, most of my girlfriends who have sons chose to circumcise them. So the decision was not so easy for me. But I’m glad we chose not to. Thanks for your comment!
I commend you for doing such in-depth research. We did discuss the question of circumcision when I was expecting my older son, but the decision not to circumcise was made in about three minutes after a discussion that went something like this:
Husband: Do you think we should circumcise the baby if it’s a boy?
Me: Dunno. What do you think?
Husband: They say it’s easier to keep clean if it’s circumcised.
Me: Or we could not circumcise him and just teach him how to clean it properly.
Husband: How do we teach him that?
Me: Don’t ask me. You’re the one with a penis.
Husband: OK, we won’t circumcise. Anyway, why would we cut a bit off before we even know how big it’s going to be?
Kirsten
HA! I was literally laughing out loud when I read your comment. Your husband made a great point. 😉 Love it!
You make me laugh (the part about your hubby asking you not to discuss his penis on this blog)! As an American living in Europe I think you brought up an interesting, and sometimes controversial, topic. Since I have two girls I ve never had to confront this decision but like runningforautism I’m impressed by all of your research. Good for you for making your own decision and staying strong rather than following everybody else!
Thanks Jenny. You must have an interesting take on the topic as an American living in Europe. Thanks for reading and for your reply.
With my first husband, it was automatic to circumcise (1993) our son. I never thought to question it. But with my 2nd husband, he was adamant that there would be no snipping! Great post! Thanks for the laughs~Amy
Why was your second husband so against it? Is he European?
Kally,
Thanks for sharing your research and your thought process with us all! Both times I’ve found out what I was having ahead of time — girls, so I never got very far on this topic. Thanks for the laughs around such a serious topic!
Veronica Samuels 🙂
Thanks for your post! I have two girls, so I never even got to the point of thinking about circumcision. My dad is from Europe and my mom from South America and I know that they chose not to have my brothers circumcised. Now I’m curious to talk to my mom about her perspective on this.
Thanks for reading Eva!
There is a lot of emotion and noise around this issue, but there are lots of things we don’t know, such how many intact (uncircumcised) men are comfortable with their condition and how many wish they’d been circumcised as infants, or how many circumcised men are resentful about the reduction of bodily integrity that was imposed on them, or how many circumcised men have had problems with their circumcision scar.
Please participate in this survey, which is an attempt to answer these and many more questions. The survey is trying to remain neutral on the issue. Information is needed from both men and women.
https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/6R2MTBF
without any cynicism, I say, think of the children.