Recently, I set out on an adventure. I didn’t kayak down the Amazon or climb Mount Everest. I traveled from Washington to Pennsylvania (and back again) with my two boys, ages 5 ½ and 13 months, on my own to visit my family.
That’s a 2700 mile trek each way with flight layovers involved.
For the flights, I had my older boy seated next to me and my toddler sitting on my lap. Well, on paper he was sitting on my lap, but anyone who has flown while holding a 13 month old knows that the toddler is not sitting on your lap.
He may be jumping on your lap, wailing on your lap, or barfing on your lap, but he most certainly isn’t sitting on your lap.
And I suppose that is the best introduction to my story. I grew up in Pennsylvania, but I have lived in Washington for the past 13 years. Pre-kids, my husband and I traveled back and forth several times a year to see our East Coast relations.
Once we had our first son, we still flew regularly with him, but we had a two-on-one advantage. Â As my son got older, I flew with him on my own, but it was still manageable, as I could focus all my time and attention on keeping him entertained.
Since having our second son, we have not flown as much. My husband and I took our boys to visit my family when our baby was just 5 months old. That’s pre-crawling, still breastfeeding time with two parents involved. Piece of cake.
Since our younger son has moved into the phase of juggernaut toddler, we haven’t attempted a cross-country flight. However, I had vouchers that I needed to use, and I really wanted to take my boys to see their extended family.
I grew up as the youngest of five children and lived walking distance to my grandmother’s house. Being surrounded by family at all times was the norm. So, establishing our long-distance extended family lifestyle has taken some getting used to, and I want to have my kids around their extended family as much as possible.
My husband was not able to get away, so I decided I would take the boys myself. I have seen those mothers in airports, outnumbered by their children and pulling it off. It’s just a week away from home. Might as well give it a go.
Let me start by saying that we all survived and had a good time. There were challenges, no doubt. For one, my toddler hated being on the flights. Not disliked…..hated.
At his age, he wants to walk and explore. I could do the best dang pat-a-cake of my mom career, but that wouldn’t change the fact that he was confined for 5+hours on a plane. It was very taxing for us both.
The flight attendant asked, “Would you like some coffee, Miss?” My inner monologue: “You have no clue how utterly desperate I am for coffee right now. But there is no flipping way I can manage to hold an open cup of scalding hot liquid within 5 feet of my lap jabberwocky.” My actual reply: “No thanks. I’m good.”
Luckily, my older son happily played independently, and we really lucked out on seat mates. On our flight out, we had a polite, young firefighter with us, who praised my children endlessly no matter what their behavior actually was.
And, on our flight home, we ended up with an empty seat in our row. Oh, to have the extra tray table just out of reach of my little one!
Our time at my family’s home was well worth the travel headaches. The downside was continual sickness. My toddler had a terrible cold and would only sleep directly on top of me.
And, the day before we were scheduled to fly home, my older son came down with a stomach virus. I had to consider rescheduling our flights, but that would keep us on the East Coast for several more days, and after a week I needed to get the boys (and me) home.
So I didn’t sleep for a solid week and called my husband in tears the night before flying home for a pep talk. But, enough with the tough stuff. Let’s review the fun.
My sons got to soak up endless attention from their extended family. They played with their cousins, read stories with their aunts and uncles, and spent quality time with their grandparents. They got to explore the same backyard I used to explore as a child and sleep in my childhood bedroom.
And the day before leaving, my grandmother, who is turning 90 years old this year, visited. My toddler, who had been extremely shy around everyone on this trip, could not get enough of his Babci. He just wanted to sit on her lap and giggle. I now have pictures and videos of this very special moment. It made all the effort and challenges for me as the single parent on this trip worthwhile.
Since having made it back home to Washington, I admit that I am in no hurry to run out and catch another plane with my two little ones. Life is just easier here where there are child locks on the doors and the food in the fridge is always the type my kids will eat.
But, I now know IÂ CAN do it. I have the confidence that I can pick up and travel with my kids, on my own if need be, and have the life experiences I want us to have.
That said, I would pay top dollar to any airline that can come up with a truly family friendly flight option that caters to traveling with little ones.  For starters, fold down train tables in every seat and Laurie Berkner on audio would be nice.
Final Thought: Kudos to all the single parents who manage their households solo 24-7. I don’t know how you do it. You are amazing people!
Have you traveled with your kids? How did you keep them entertained while keeping your sanity?
This has been an original post to World Moms Blog by Tara B. of Washington (State) USA.
Photo credit to the author.Â
We find it hard enough with two parents and one child – last time we travelled was home from the UK after Christmas – and with the then 11 month old – who did not want to sit still – it was exhausting!
I am very impressed that you managed to travel with two children, but I am feeling exhausted and quite stressed after just reading about your journey!
Next time we are planning to travel is in the summer, a 4 hour flight… I am thinking about bringing the iPad with some games and videos on it!
Asta – I totally wished I had an ipad for this! I didn’t want to feel compelled to spend alot in prep, as we already have a travel DVD Player, a Leapster video game device, and my e-reader. But when it’s just 1 person carrying it all along with everything else, considation is key. I saw another mother on the flight traveling solo with her 2 kids, and she had one kid playing with her iphone and one looking at an ipad. I thought, “Brilliant!”. And while this was exhausting for sure, it was worth it 😉
Considation = consolidation (oops!)
I think anyone who travels a decent distance with a crawling baby or toddler is amazing. That you managed it alone is outstanding. I’m pleased you ended up having a marvellous time with your family.
Thanks! It felt good to pull this off…a true confidence boost. Since moving away from my family, it has been the one sticking point I continually struggle with. I want to have Sunday dinners at my mom and dad’s and be there for birthdays. So I feel the need to try and make it happen every so often. We love living where we do, so plane comnmuting is part of the deal. I appreciate your comment!
I bow to you – travelling by yourself with 2 kids. My husband and I went to New Zealand from Malaysia, an 11 hour flight, with a then-7 month old. It was not an easy flight. We then proceeded to travel to 6 towns in 2 weeks by car, and then a return flight home. I won’t go into details, but we certainly learnt a lot of lessons how patience, how to entertain a baby, stay sane and not tear each other eyes out 🙂
Glad your trip was worth it!
Thanks Alison, and good for you for making it through your trip! There are always surprises. Once when my husband and I traveled with just our older son, we got stuck in Chicago overnight without our luggage, and my son had come down with an ear infection and was vomiting. We had to be so careful to manage the vomit as to not get it on our only changes of clothes! But again, we survived and with time got the courage to get on another plane with kids 🙂
You are a brave one 🙂 We are trying to decide on a vacation and the idea of flying with my little one makes me nervous – and I’ll have help!
Thanks for your kind words. It was definitely a working vacation for me, but again, worth it! Once I started traveling with kids, I learned that I needed to adjust my expectations on what the trip will be like. You can have the ideal, but with kids, it could end up being anything. But there is usually always something good to take away from all the effort put in. Good luck to you!
Well done Mom!
I’ve yet to try two on one, but I got a taste of the future recently. My trip? Portland – San Francisco – Taipei – Bangkok – Laos. Literally, the other side of the world. Just me and my 13 month old. It was not fun but I am blessed to have a natural born traveler. This was our 4th trans-pacific flight and other passengers have approached us to say what a great traveler she is. We gets thumbs up from stewardesses.
But the real hero? The young single man (I believe he was Filipino) who sat between us and another toddler the whole way. He never flinched, even when grubby hands were pulling his shirt. Even with two bassinets pinning him in like some post-modern torture chamber, he smiled.
Now THAT is a great traveler!
Wow Kelley! Your trip tops mine. I am totally inspired now to consider a trip abroad (well…maybe I will wait til my toddler is a tad older ;-). And I agree that good natured fellow passengers can make all the difference. We had an older gentleman in front of my son once on a flight. My husband offered to switch seats as our boy would probably be kicking the chair in front the whole time. The man told us he was a grandfather of 3 boys and no matter what our son did, he’d be cool with it.
My husband and I just returned from a week in Baltimore (from San Francisco) and I was happy to be flying across the country with him but wondered if I am ready to brave the trip alone. I flew alone many times when it was just big girl. But we have not traveled much since little girls arrival (just once in a year and a half). Happy to report, the girls were as good as good thanks to movies and tv shows downloaded to our computer from iTunes. I actually got to finish reading my book. You inspire me to plan that summer trip and take the girls back east again.
Congrats on your successful trip! And some advice I forgot to mention: if you do take the girls to see family, get their help with gear. It made all the difference to be able to borrow my parents car that had car seats already installed (found by my sister). They also hooked me up with a high chair, pack n play, and specific groceries, so all I had to do was get there with our suitcase. Happy travels! (PS – San Fran is on my list for one of my next mom & kid adventures. Would love to see you and your girls if I pull it off!)
Tara,
Your post has given me the courage to get out more with my two little girls. If you can get through a cross country flight, then I can get through one hour of braving Costco (a warehouse that sells everything in bulk) with my girls. Thanks for writing this!!
Veronica 🙂
Thanks Veronica! And for what it’s worth, I am overwhelmed going to Costco on my own, let alone taking children with me!
Peak times at Costco have their pluses- my kids are more likely to try new food at the samples which gives me a great opportunity to show them new things. Also, I’m never afraid to go straight to book section, pick a few for my 4 yr old to look at as we shop & swing back by to drop off on way to checkout. I’ll distract w/ I Spy game as I put the books back and if requests to keep happen I praise for doing a great job & say we’re all done excited. I know this wont work with all kids.
Tara, I’m glad you made the trip and I’m glad it was so worth it. The part about your grandmother brought tears to my eyes, it was the coup de grace of the journey. Even though our world is shrinking, it seems families are getting farther apart. I encounter very few people who live where they grew up or have family nearby to help. More often it seems that parents are retiring to be near their grandchildren, rather than the children settling down to be nearby family (though boy do I have a deeper appreciation for why some people move closer to home when they settle down and start a family!) I think the very fact that most of us write for WMB suggests that most of us are world travelers o at least worldly and probably find it hard not to stay on the go. That said, you have a band of simpaticos right here on the blog, supporting you every mile of your flights. Travel on sister!
Thanks so much for your positive remarks. You really just gave me a boost. For me, staying at home and not traveling to see family just isn’t an option. So I figured I need to find a way to get the right attitude and support structures in place and make it work. It isn’t easy at all, but the alternative would be to feel stuck, and I am way to stubborn for that ;-).
I am blessed w/ great travelers & have to say the only flights I took with toddlers were over naptime or late night to encourage sleeping on mom for large part. I would encourage moms to remember the more you expose your children to travelling, the more they understand the routine & boundaries. I just did Hawaii flights w/ iPad & it was HUGE to have one-stop spot for movies, tv shows, games, even coloring apps! And, I highly recommend finding fun, creative ways to help them be active before getting on plane – little mini racing by the windows, Simon Says game by your seats, & setting expectation they can’t use their tech stuff until on plane & after 10,000 ft (DSi, iPad, etc).
Great tips, Liz! Thanks for your comment. I also wanted to note that larger airports these days have great play areas, so those planning a trip should research this ahead of time. We had a 4 hour layover in Chicago on this trip, and they have a decent size kids area that kept my kids entertained and burning off energey. Made such a difference!
Rockstar mama! Way to go Tara. This summer I’ll be embarking on my first solo flight with kids (Seattle to Tucson), so it’s great motivation to read about your experience. In order to get to Seattle, we’ll be logging multiple long-haul flights (with Daddy, thankfully) so I’m hoping that by then I’ll have a couple of pint-sized pros on my hands and our 2.5 hour jaunt will seem like nothing. I can hope, anyway. So glad you had a great trip!
I love the title “rockstar mama” 😉 Thanks! And best of luck to you on your trip. Let us know how it goes 😉