Here in the USA, circumcision’s a big deal. It’s a big financial deal for the hospitals performing the procedure, it’s a big deliberated deal for the parents of a newborn male and, I can only assume, a big traumatizing deal for the baby going under the knife.
When I was pregnant with our second and final child two-and-a-half years ago, I hadn’t intended to find out the baby’s gender but when a pronoun slipped at an ultrasound appointment and I learned I was having a boy, I was thrilled. At the time, my close friend, RO, also was pregnant and already knew she was having a boy. Our daughters were four days apart, we lived within a mile of each other and now the due dates for our sons also would be just a few days apart.
We openly talked about the new challenges we might face raising sons and our stances on circumcision, which we both felt apprehensive about. Neither of us needed to conduct it for religious reasons (both the Jewish and Islamic cultures practice circumcision as acts of commandments) yet both of us had grown up in a generation where the practice was wide-spread.
Back in the 1970s, when Rachel and I were born, US infant circumcision was at its peak. Most reports state between 80-90% of all males born in hospitals were circumcised. Both of our husbands are circumcised and though they were respectful of our wishes and concerns, they also hoped that their sons might look like their dads. This seemed like a reasonable argument to Rachel and me; not convincing but reasonable.
Reasonable, except for one nagging and resurfacing fact: there’s really no evidence supporting the benefits of circumcision.
When the practice of circumcision took hold in the United States around the turn of the last century, reasons for the operation ranged from increased hygiene to reducing the temptation to masturbate. In the English-speaking world, circumcision has been on the decline since the mid-1900s. In 1949, the United Kingdom’s National Health Service took circumcision off its list of covered services, making it an out-of-pocket expense. In 1994, Canada did the same thing, but here in the US it remains fully covered by insurance and a fairly prevalent practice. In fact, until as recently as 2005, the infant circumcision rate was 52%.
By 2009, when our sons were born, the US circumcision rate was down to 32% so arguing that our sons would be in the minority and might get teased by their peers was not grounds for swaying our decisions.
For me, the idea of having my newborn son go into minor-surgery and have his foreskin removed within hours of birth just didn’t feel right. Two weeks before we went in to labor, both Rachel and I decided against it.
[When I was doing research for this post, I came across additional information that was helpful for me to better understand the practice. If you are curious about what ONE TYPE of procedure looks like, (Nota bene: though informative, you may find the following video hard to watch) here is a link to a medical video for the popular Plastibell procedure].
In my son’s early playgroups and in conversations with friends, I learned that the majority had opted to circumcise their sons. I began to notice a parallel between the women with circumcised sons and the women who were complaining about getting peed on during diaper changes. I also recall the tense inquiries of new moms in post-natal support groups wondering how best to handle diaper changes with a bandaged newborn penis.
My son has never peed on me during a diaper change (did ya catch that?) In fact, he’s NEVER PEED at all during a diaper change.
In addition, though he is just over two-years-old, he appears to be acutely aware of his body functions and has begun, on his own accord, using his toddler potty when he feels, in his words, “pee-pee coming out.”
I attribute both of these phenomena to his intact state. I suspect, because he has not been desensitized by circumcision, that he has a greater awareness of himself. I am not advocating either pro or con the practice of circumcision, I just know that I did a lot of soul-searching about it when I was faced with the decision for my own child, and now that I have entered the world of blogging, I think I would have found it helpful to read some other mothers’ accounts of their decisions too.
I can’t really understand the practice of removing the foreskin from a penis nor how it evolved. Just as I can’t comprehend the idea behind female circumcision. I have to suspect that the way our bodies are when we’re born is the way nature intended them to be and that altering them by cutting or removing sections is going to have a long-term effect on the individual.
In the end, I’m really happy with the mutual decision my husband and I made and I hope our son will be too.
What are your feelings about circumcision? Is it a common practice in your country or religion?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Kyla P’an of Massachusetts, USA. Kyla’s previous posts are: Traveling with Kids: Destination China , Finding Balance and Life, in Transit. She also can be found on her personal blog, Growing Muses.
The photograph used in this post is attributed to the author.
Kyla P'an (Portugal)
Kyla was born in suburban Philadelphia but spent most of her time growing up in New England. She took her first big, solo-trip at age 14, when she traveled to visit a friend on a small Greek island. Since then, travels have included: three months on the European rails, three years studying and working in Japan, and nine months taking the slow route back from Japan to the US when she was done. In addition to her work as Managing Editor of World Moms Network, Kyla is a freelance writer, copy editor, recovering triathlete and occasional blogger. Until recently, she and her husband resided outside of Boston, Massachusetts, where they were raising two spunky kids, two frisky cats, a snail, a fish and a snake. They now live outside of Lisbon, Portugal with two spunky teens and three frisky cats. You can read more about Kyla’s outlook on the world and parenting on her personal blogs, Growing Muses And Muses Where We Go
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Kyla,
This is such a stressful situation for a new mom to decide on in the US. I have two girls, so I never had to make this decision, so I can’t speak from experience. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and I hope your words help some mom-to-be’s make informed choices!
Veronica 🙂
Thanks Veronica, I hope so too although, judging by the many informed and varied opinions just in the comments to this post, perhaps the healthy dialogue created by posting on this sensitive topic will be the helpful part. There really is no wrong decision, in either case a mother/father is acting out of love and what they believe is the best decision for their son.
Circumcision will always be a polarizing topic. People who are for will always have their logical reasoning behind their decisions. Those who are against it will have their reasons not to agree with it.
My son was circumciJsed when he was 9 days old, and this is because our religion dictates it. Having said that, we would still have done so even if we didn’t have to. My husband and I agree on the following:
– It has been proven to be more hygienic
– At that age, he will not remember the pain or discomfort
The procedure itself took mere minutes. The aftercare was simple. He did not appear to be in any pain or discomfort immediately or days after the procedure. 5 days after, the ring fell off with the skin, and it was clean and there were no complications.
If any mother asked my opinion, I will tell them our decision and why we did it, but I would never try and persuade them to go my way. It is after all, their child. I would not judge any parent who decides different from me, and I only wish for the same courtesy.
As long as you’re doing what is right for your child and your family, I’m for it!
Alison, I couldn’t agree more and thank you for sharing your experience. I definitely deliberated and worried that my decision not to circumcise our son would polarize him from all males in his family but I guess somewhere tradition gets broken and for me, it felt like the right place to break it. I couldn’t even watch the video I linked in the post and that was an anonymous infant. I think I would have been a mess if I witnessed the event with my own child but perhaps I would have felt differently immediately following the pains of birthing him.
When my son was born, I found a ton of information supporting it. Everyone I talked with who had a son, had it done. I was upset about doing it because I didn’t want him to go through this procedure, but I was conflicted because I read how it decreases their chance of certain cancers, etc. I wanted the best for my baby boy. My husband is circumsized and he is happy with his body, so that was also a factor in our decision. We did have our son circumsized and I made sure he was given a local anesthetic, as I found out that some doctors don’t even do that, which disgusted me. After it was done, healing was fast and he never fussed over it. I, on the hand, cried and cried for weeks over this. After it was done, all the info I found, was not in support of this. I was so upset. I couldn’t change it and all I wanted to do was the best for my son. Almost 7 years later and this is still upsetting to me. If I could go back, I would not have had it done. It is not that he has any problems. It is simply because there doesn’t seem to be any health benefits from it. I dont know what I was reading beforehand, but clearly, it was skewed. When I was pregnant with my 2nd child, I was so relieved we were having a girl so I didn’t have to deal with this again.
I think you did the right thing. I wish I had listened to my mother’s instinct & not doubted myself. Yes, my son is healthy and happy, so I remind myself of this when I am burdened with the guilt of it.
Maggie, you can’t have remorse about this. It’s not fair.You acted in a way that felt right at the time and there are a lot of pressures in this country to fall victim to. For several years now, as I witness friends’ uncircumcised sons playing naked in the yard or tub, I always had a generational hang-up about it. A circumcised penis just seems more…I don’t know, American I guess. But I feel comfortable with the decision and hope my son won’t grow up with the same hang-ups I have, that he won’t be in the minority or teased ever. Your son will be happy and, according to supporting claims, probably very healthy as well.
Thanks for your support. Whoever I have talked to about this, tells me the same thing. I just have a very hard time letting it go. My instinct was telling me, “No” but I didn’t listen. I had crazy hormones, new mom doubts and thought I had found solid information. I went against my gut and agonized over it. I learned a big lesson and always go with my gut now. It is just the mom guilt that I carry with me. It took me a good week to stop crying over it being described as mutilation.
(sent that before I was done)
Mutilation….that word hits me hard. I love my children more than anything. They are my world! I would never do anything that I thought was harmful in any way. So to think that I let his body get “mutilated” just kills me.
My husband snaps me back by reminding me that he had this done and is fine. He feels things and is very happy with how it is working. So, he brings me back from the massive mom guilt.
Still, I carry it with me. If I could go back, I wouldn’t have had it done.
maggie, your story makes me ache for you. If it makes you feel any better I had a bit of the opposite. In the flood of post-birth hormones I started wondering if maybe I SHOULD have done it!!
Since we were asking about this, I looked up info. Ahhhh…..it is so conflicting!!! Here is info supporting it! LOL!! So, it just comes down to parent’s judgement and choice. Definitely a polarizing topic! We just have to do our best, circumcision or not!!
http://www.circinfo.com/benefits/bmc.html
That’s right, and later in life, the uncircumcised can always make the cut and the circumcised can always “reclaim their foreskin.”
Here in Norway it is not common at all, it is not even something we would ever consider, and I don´t know anybody who has had it done – I always thought it was a religious thing, so was quite surprised to hear otherwise. Great article! I learned something new today 🙂
Thanks Asta, you’re such a great supporter of everything/everyone WMB. I know Kally posted an article way back when the blog launched in Nov about this so you can see what a hotly contested topic this is for us. Is there anything so controversial in Norway that we don’t know about? Like maybe dying hair black or something 😉 I love that we all learn things about each others cultures through this forum of motherhood.
I think any decision we make for our children deserves thorough research and analysis. However this is one of those issues where you will always find info to support both sides, so it really is parental preference. I talked to many friends about circumcision upon having my own 2 sons, and what I found was both friends who have or gave not been circumcised seem to be leading happy, healthy lives and really haven’t given their circumcision (or lack there of) much thought. I guess my point is whether trending up or down at any point in time, circumcision doesn’t seem to be the defining factor on male sexuality, health, or social acceptance. I am not belittling the decision, but I would advise new mothers to make their gut call and then relax b/c they made a valid informed decision and the little guys will be just fine.
I wish I had thought to ask an uncircumcised male friend about this. As an adult, I have certainly dated uncircumcised men and always felt they were more sensual (but attributed it more to them being foreign than to being uncircumcised). I wish we really knew if it affected sensitivity and experience. Someone MUST know the answer to this.
I meant to also say I am really glad you brought this up and shared your perspective so freely. I know many mothers on whom this issue weighed heavily. It’s prompted a great discussion!
There was a study done by Sorells et al, which found circumcised men to be less sensitive. There are also accounts of men circumcised as adults saying that they have less sensitivity and would give anything to have it back. Here is a website run by Ron Goldman, Ph D from Boston with some of those accounts: http://www.circumcision.org/adults.htm This site also has a few summaries of studies done. Of course you can also find accounts detailing the opposite, so it really depends on the person. I think anytime you cut into the skin, there’s going to be numbness. I know 6 years after my c-section the skin around the incision site is still numb.
I am so glad to see someone else mention this. I ABSOLUTELY believe that sensuality and sensitivity ARE affected by circumcision. I have been married twice, first husband was intact and current husband is cut. The more research I do, the more completely convinced I become that there are definitely differences in many aspects…from ability to connect emotionally to intimacy, even personality in general. There just seems to be more depth of personality in men who are intact. Over and over you can see it, if you pay attention. Of course, there exceptions to every rule. Just looking at some famous men who are intact…you can get a drift of what I am referring to. A few examples…Bill Cosby, Tom Selleck, Will Smith, Leonardo DiCaprio, Keanu Reeves, Pierce Brosnan (and this is only a few.) But you can see…all of these men have something that is exceptional in their personalities. Just listen to them when they interviewed, there is a real depth there. Again, there are exceptions on both sides…but, yes there is definitely a difference. And, ABSOLUTELY there is a huge difference in ability to respond and level of sensation in intimacy (for both the male and his female partner.) INTACT sex is far better that cut.
You bring up an interesting point, Grace. I definitely have experienced that intact men seem more intimate and more sensual but cannot say for certain if it is a direct correlation to the amount of skin they have or whether it is more a product of their cultures. How do you know that all of the actors you’ve named are uncircumcised? It’s an interesting list and would be further convincing with supporting evidence (or a linked site). It was somewhat of a surreal mental dialogue I exposed myself to when making this decision about our son…thinking about his future sex life and sexual sensations whether we circumcised him or not but one important enough that I held to it with conviction (a little harder to win my husband over on those grounds however, since he is circumcised). In a way, it’s sort of like infant baptism vs. confirmation: one is a parent’s decision, the other is the decision of how the child/adult wishes to live out his/her life.
As Asta said… the same is in Poland. We wouldn’t even consider the circumcision. When I got to US I wasn’t aware of on how amazingly big scale this procedure is performed in here. When I got pregnant and my husband asked me if I want our chiild (if it’s a boy) to be circumcised I said “NO!!!!”, “Why would you want to do that?!”. He actually didn’t have any reasonable explanation beside that the son will look like dad, and that his friends won’t make fun of him… and that is good for higien. So I asked him if he thinks that all those boys in Poland and all around the World lived in a bad higien because they weren’t circumcised!? We started to talk about, and he read some articles, and and we watched some news about it… and at the end he agreed that circumcision is not natural and it’s not necessary. Now I feel much better knowing that if we have a boy someday I won’t have to fight with my husband about it… we are on the same page.
boy, that must be a great relief to you. I wonder if an American was living overseas, married to a foreigner, and she wanted to get her newborn son circumcised, if she’d have trouble finding someone to perform it? Does anyone out there know? Maybe part of the decline in the US is attributed to the globalization of couples, Americans marrying foreigners or the greater sharing of information and desire to homogenize…
there is not a problem to circumcize a child in Poland or in any other country in Europe. The doctor will do it, that’s for sure. In Poland for example we’ve got a huge community of Jews…
I’m just saying that people who’s religion doesn’t required to do so DON”T do it. Period. It doesn’t mean that doctores can’t or won’t do it!
Here in New Zealand it’s no longer common practise, but it was. My understanding was that it became common after the First World War when many men were unable to clean under their foreskins in the desert. We have three sons and none of them are circumsised, I have been peed-on and two of the three were late to toilet train.
well that shoots my theories to S!@t…thanks Karyn 😛 I guess it really made me wonder about the practice when I watched the video and realized that they literally had to separate the foreskin from the shaft. That perhaps it was really in place as a protective cover and why would we remove it? Though there have been some diaper changes when I wondered if I was really getting EVERYTHING clean. Having seen both types, I also admit that there is something more masculine looking about a circumsized one but that may be wholly societal in my case.
Just think of our kids as the exceptions that prove your rule. 🙂
My uncircumcised son has peed on me, but mostly it was in his first couple of months. It almost never happens any more. He’s only 8 months old, so I don’t know about toilet training, but he’s in cloth diapers and they’re supposed to train earlier anyway…
Great topic for moms around the world. When I was 11 an aunt sent me an article on the procedure and I vowed never to do it to a child of my own. I live in the U.S. I ended up in relationships with non-American men and found that the sexual experience was more comfortable with an intact man (as you refer to) so that really sealed the deal for me. I wrote about my experience in a post called “Sex With The Un-Circumcised Man”. It gets tons of hits. My son’s doctor even told me that for every boy she sees with irritation in that area, she sees 10 girls. That says something about the hygiene concerns…we are not cutting on our girls to prevent potential issues or for religious reasons. We should not be doing that to our boys. My son peed on my twice when he was weeks old. I notice though that he is not “fixated” on it. I have seen circumcised boys more touchy feely with it. Maybe it’s my imagination or just the boys I have seen.
Heather, wow, age 11?! That’s a heavy topic to digest at that age. That’s cool that your aunt perceived you mature enough to digest it and even cooler that it impacted you enough at the time to leave a lasting opinion about it for your future. It’s such a bummer that we can’t link in the comments because it would be nice to be able to click right to your blog post you refer to. Thanks for bringing up the issues of hygiene and girls as well as that of boys. I appreciate your comments. Thanks for reading!
Kudos to you for bringing up a tough subject. It’s good to hear such varied responses…so interesting!!! We had our son circumcised, as I understood there to be a lower risk of STDs and STD transmission. But, it was a very hard decision to have to make. I empathize with both sides. As a parent, the decisions are tough from day one onwards, right?
boy, you’ve got that right!
This is an issue in Canada as well, although not as much. The Canadian pediatricians believe that circumcision is an unnecessary procedure and not recommended unless done for religious/cultural reasons.
When my son was born the doctor asked my husband if we were circumcising. My husband shook his head no (we had discussed it) and that was the end of it. No one has asked me about it since.
I like the look of a circumcised penis, but not enough to slice into my baby son, especially since it’s not really The Thing To Do any more.
IfByYes, I agree with you, I also prefer the look of the circumsized penis but I think only because it is culturally more common in the US. Perhaps that perception will change as the generations perform fewer and fewer. Then again, I guess it may not, since it really is an issue of what, visually, looks more “manly.” That’s relieving to know that it is a more minor issue for our neighbors. I hope we will go in the same direction some day soon
I struggled with this decision too and really appreciate hearing the different perspectives. I was raised Jewish in the US and my husband is British, so this was a tricky one. In the end we chose not to circumcise our son. Looking back, it seems an obvious choice but I still had some internal deliberations (our OB actually said ‘duh’ when we finally told her, noting that in her experience it was rare for someone married to a non-American to circumcise). Four years later and I’d definitely make the same choice again.
Thanks Shaula, and considering that you live outside of the US now, it is probably more common for your son to look like the greater majority of his peers. I’m glad you have no regrets. It’s how it should be (Maggie, did you catch hat bit, NO REGRETS!)
It’s something we had to do and I was scared out of my mind. The earlier it’s done the better. I am not sure if I would agonize over something I didn’t “have to do”, it’s hard enough having cultural and religious expectations.
Maggie, that’s hard…new mom, hormones and a life changing decision. I hope you find peace with it all. I am glad that your son is ok.
I’ve heard the arguments for circumcision outside of religious, and I can see how it can be confusing one way or another.
T
Salma, did you have to do it for religious/cultural reasons? What was the experience like for you? I have a hard enough time envisioning the medical procedure. I can hardly imagine what a Bris is like or another religious ceremony.
I had to do it for religious regions when my son was 7 days old. And we had it done by a rabbi (not in the hospital by a doctor). I didn’t watch the video you posted, but I can tell you, that when the procedure is performed by a mohel (the rabbi) it is only a couple of seconds and the baby is much less traumatized than when it is performed by a pediatrician. For one, the dr will strap then baby to a board, so that he doesn’t move. For another, the dr will stick the baby with needles first to numb the area…. so the baby, gets unnecessary medication administered, and gets pricked (and traumatized by a needle anyway) and when it wears off, they are in pain. I also, heard that the drs do not recommend the ointment the same way, so there is the discomfort afterwards. My husband, who is not Jewish (but is circumcised for the same reason as your husband) was totally for having the procedure (because he wanted his son to look like him), but did not like the idea of having it done by a rabbi. When I told him the differences (and he did some research as well), he felt quite comfortable having it done by the rabbi and, in fact, agreed that it seems to put the baby through less stress. The recovery was sooooo easy, as long as I kept it doused with an ointment and it healed quickly and without discomfort.
As for being peed on and potty training, I think you were just lucky. My son only peed on us a couple of times in the first few weeks of life (I got really good at spotting the “pee pee hard-on” as we termed it – in fact, my friend who’s son is not circumcised was peed on much more than us, until I told her about the pee pee hard-on). As for the toilet training, my son was out of diapers by the time he was 2 (I started training him quite early on).
All that being said, if I didn’t have to do it for religious reasons, I am not sure if I would do it or not. It was never a question for me to ponder… although my cousin (who lives in France and has 2 boys) has told me that she would not have done it if she didn’t have to, and that they do not recommend doing it in France.
Isabelle, thanks for your comment. Though I grew up with a lot of Jewish friends, I have never attended a Bat Mitzvah nor a bris. I’m curious about both and the ceremony involved. When I was looking for a photo to connect with this post, I came across an image of a beautiful, silver set of circumcision tools used by a rabi. What’s the procedure like? Is it traumatizing, spiritual or a proud milestone filled with ritual? Do they use any kind of anesthesia? Does the baby cry? It’s a fascinating concept to me. Almost a right of passage into manhood. Psychologically a curious debate.
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Hi Kyla,
The procedure was very quick, and not as bad as I had expected. I think my sister and mother were more emotional that I (although to be fair I was still on pain meds from the c-section and a bit out of it, getting used to my first newborn). It was quite a proud moment from me to welcome my son into the Jewish religion (as it was to welcome my daughter during her brit-a…. it’s the same ceremony minus the snipping). There is no anesthesia, just a drop of wine (mixed with water) given to the baby on a gauze pad to suck on when it is over. My son cried for a minute, and cried more when we had opened his diaper than while the actual procedure was happening. My father was holding him on a soft pillow, so that he was comfortable, and held him in place, so that he would not move, and was perfectly safe the entire time. Once he was bandaged up and his diaper closed again, he calmed down and slept well for quite a while. He didn’t seem bothered much afterwards either (probably because I used half a tube of ointment with each diaper change, admittedly a bit over-kill, but at least he was comfortable). I think I was lucky. I have been to other brises where the baby cried more, but they all usually calmed down pretty quickly once it’s done, and the procedure is always much faster and less traumatic than in a hospital.
I just came accross this other blog post from a Jewish mother who did circumcise her son, and the decision was weighing heavily on her as well. http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/121383/circumcision_is_no_easy_decision
I would just like to mention that there are a few comments within the last couple of days which I feel are just plain wrong and offensive. No matter what your opinion is, everyone has a right to their own opinion an their own decision, and noone should be made to feel that they have hurt their son one way or the other. There is plenty of research and websites which support both sides of the debate, and I am sure that you will find as many pediatricians for it as you will against it. My point is, some of these comments are going too far, by taking an insulting tone and talking down to those of is who decided to do it. Even though I did it for a religious reason, I know plenty of people who did it for their own reasons, and no matter what your reason, this is still a free country where we can choose to live as we would like. We shouldbembrace the freedom to debate and to make our own decisions, and simply respect each other for the decisions that we make for our children.
Isabelle,
What about the individual’s right to his whole body, his own choices? I think we’d all agree that an intact adult male should have some say in whether or not he be circ’d. It would be HIS choice. Why is that same individual not allowed the same rights as a baby? Because his parents decided it was best? Either for religious or supposed medical reasons, what if he grows up and wishes another decision was made for him. The point is, it cannot be undone, but it can always be done in the future should the individual choose this for themselves. No matter what the reason, it should be the individual himself making the choice. How could this not be obvious to everyone espcially since the debate is so polarizing? I just don’t get it. The only reason this custom survives is because it is done to helpless infants who do not have a say.
Isabelle,
I couldn’t miss the irony of your statements here: “We shouldbembrace the freedom to debate and to make our own decisions” and “everyone has a right to their own opinion an their own decision” and “this is still a free country where we can choose to live as we would like”….the only person who’s opinion that does not seem to matter in the rest of the comment is the person having the circumcision performed on them — the baby. I agree that circumcision (and religious preference) should be a choice — but that is must by made by the boy himself, not his parents. Imagine if people waited a few years to make that “choice” for the boys — they could meet a great deal of resistance when a boy could give his decision, opinion and exert free will on the matter.
Congrats on leaving your son Intact! We also left our boy as nature intended much to the dismay of our families. I have noticed things similar to what you are saying as well. I’ve never been peed on either and he is 16 months now. He will lay beside me naked nursing and not pee.
He recently has begun to remove his diaper, point to his penis and say “Hi” and begin peeing.. almost as though recognizing he is about to urinate before doing it!
Sandra, thanks for your comments and laud. Ultimately, I didn’t feel like it was my place to make such a decision about someone else’s body, especially someone so young. I wonder if there is a connection, as we both seem to notice, between the protective foreskin playing a role in pee-control and ultimately self-awareness…
Routine Infant Circumcision (RIC) is harmful and wrong. It is not a parent’s decision. It should be the owner of the body’s decision. Foreskin is NOT just extra skin. It has a biological function and serves a purpose both when the male is a youth and as a sexual adult . The general public has more information available to them now with the internet at their fingertips. This is the reason RIC is dropping drastically. People are learning that the foreskin is not dirty, that it in fact helps prevent many of the ailments cutting it off is purported to prevent. It take no extra care to clean than does the female genitalia. Female circ is outlawed in the US – even for those who do it for religious reasons – and it is time we extend those human rights to our baby boys also. This boys will grow up to be men who may very likely wish they had their foreskin back. Why not let them have dominion over their own body? I could argue all day, but in the end I would just encourage any parent faced with this decision to research thoroughly before doing this. It cannot be undone. Baby boys have the right to their whole bodies just the same as baby girls.
Wendy, thanks for your comments. As can certainly be ascertained by the large number of comments and dialogue generated by this post, circumcision is a hotly debated topic with people standing on both sides of the fence. I don’t think Jews or Muslims will be dropping this millenia-old practice anytime soon, nor would I ever try to convince one to do so. In my opinion, for the rest of us, reasons to circumcise make less convincing arguments than reasons not to.
Between 95-98% of the infant circs done in the US are for non-religious reasons. Religion adds another aspect to the debate, yes, but the great majority of the RICs done in the US are for cosmetic and/or false medical reasons. These otherwise well-meaning parents who only want what is best for their baby boy(s) need to be educated about what the real deal is. Most folks just go along because it’s what’s done or just because a medical professional says it is what they should do.
Routine Infant Circumcision must end. Healthy baby boys are not born with any extra parts. His body. His choice. Don’t know what to think or on the fence? Do your own research!!! I cannot emphasize this enough. When talking to people, consider where the profits go and who benefits. This is from my heart.
I don’t even understand why people opt for circumcision for their sons – as if the trauma of birth andf being out in a huge new unknown world wasn’t enough for a baby to undergo, he has to be put through a painful procedure as well??? We in India have nothing of this sort ( as far as I know), and if anyone does it, it is only for religious reasons.
Thanks Fire Crystals, it is a bit of a curiosity, why a country referred to as the New World should hold on to such an Old World practice but I think change is in the air and fewer people are circumcising these days than they were even just 10 years ago. We’ll see if the downward trend continues. I’m glad you don’t have to face this motherhood dilemma in India though there are many a curios practice I HAVE witnessed in India, dealing with rights of passage and within the caste system, that I’m glad I don’t have to deal with.
I too used to be very pro-circ. As an American, I just thought it was something that everyone did. I’d only ever been with circ’ed men until I met my husband (who is intact). Let me tell you, that’s when I discovered what I was missing! Being physically intimate with my husband is so much more amazing (and was from the beginning) than it ever was with anyone else (many circ’ed men have tightness, scarring, desentivity etc.). My husband seems to be a lot more sensitive down there and feels the physical aspect of intimacy a lot more than the circ’ed men I’ve been with. In fact the bf I had before my husband was circ’ed and hated it. He had a huge scar, was angry at his parents for having done that to him as a baby, and swore that if he ever had sons he would never circ them.
My husband and I are now expecting our first baby. We just found out it’s a boy, and my husband is adamant that he should be left intact as well – not because he wants our baby to look like him (he says that doesn’t matter to him) but because he is against putting him through unnecessary surgery whose benefits are just not proven. I’ve done a ton of research and concluded that he’s right – no major medical organization in the world recommends routine infant circumcision. A resource I found very helpful was the Whole Network (http://thewholenetwork.org). Also, we asked our ob, and she said, “It’s not medically necessary. If I had a son, I wouldn’t do it to him.” So we’re going to leave our baby the way God made him! If he wants to do it later, it will be HIS choice, not ours.
I also have a couple of Jewish friends who have chosen not to circ. They relied on another good website: http://beyondthebris.com and were told by their rabbis that circumcision is not required for their sons to be Jewish. I think the momentum in the U.S. is moving toward a more natural approach – let the boys decide for themselves when they are old enough. I’m happy with our decision and can’t wait to hold me whole baby boy in my arms!
Oh, another thing I wanted to add – I was initially concerned and asked my husband if we leave our boy intact whether he’ll get teased in the locker room, etc. And my husband said that is a total myth – he was born in the US, grew up here and never had any issues with it. He said most guys just don’t check each other’s penises out (LOL) and that if it ever were to happen, a good comeback would be, “Dude, why are you checking out my penis?” which would quickly end the discussion. At any rate, the circ rate continues to fall in this country, and like you and your friend, I’ve concluded that by the time my son is old enough to care, he’ll be in the majority anyway!
Mrs. Orchid, thanks for your comments and links. I’m happy to learn about some alternative ideas supporting people opting out of (or considering against) religious circumcision. I agree about the sexual experience for intact v. circumcised men but there’s really nothing the latter party can do. My husband is fairly fascinated by our son, having had little exposure or interaction with non-circumcised men. I think your husband makes a good a funny point about men in a locker room. There certainly seems to be a shift coming toward fewer circumcisions and I’m happy for that. Congratulations on the pending arrival of your baby boy! What joys lie ahead.
Coming from a 19 year old guy, I hate being circumcised and I feel that you all talking about whether you should cut off a healthy,pleasant and fun part of your sons body is frustrating. Whenever the subject comes up in my mind I feel almost hatred toward my mother, and have never been able to talk about it with my parents.
If you want to be more hygienic, you shower. Not cut off body parts.
If you want your son to fit in, then don’t circumcise because the rate is less than 50% in US
If you are not sure, then don’t circumcise and your son can make that decision on his own at 18 years
Does not protect against AIDs or HIV, wear a condom
Chris, as mother’s, it is really meaningful to hear from the perspective of someone’s son about all of this. You will see some day (whether with your own child or one very close to you) that some decisions are really hard to make and once you’ve made them, the best you can do is pray and hope that they were the right ones.
As you’ve suggested, circumcision is difficult to reverse but easy to do. I think mother’s can’t blame themselves for making the decision since often it occurs within hours of labor, a difficult time to have any clear thoughts, and frequently is a decision driven by the father. I do see a swing in the trend and hope, for those who do this of their own accord and not because of religious doctrine, that they will not feel such societal pressure in the future.
Thanks for sharing your views.
I wish more males would speak as Chris has here. Thanks Chris for your candor because I think the scars of circumcision extend to many areas of man once he is grown. A few men have been written posts on this, but not enough.
Something that I have noticed as my son has gotten older is that he is very sensitive when the skin goes back. So much so that he perfers to leave it alone (he’s four) so I’m still involved in his bath. I just makes me think about boys who do not have that layer “protection” in that sensitive area.
The ignorance about genitalia is amazing! The number of people who think that an intact penis, or vulva, is abnormal, how did the human race survive this long without scalpels cutting pieces off.
Young women being mostly uneducated about male genitals, my mother was lied to by a doctor. I ended up with a totally ruined penis, it is no use now except as a urine spout. No sensitivity equals no orgasm and no intercourse. In America circumcision means $$$$$$$$, and the baby gets no say in the matter. As for the religion excuse, all babies are atheist unless somebody fills their heads with stories. Rabbi Maimonides admitted that circumcision was done to diminish the male organ, it does.