This week’s Friday Question comes from World Moms Blog writer Maggie Ellison. She asked our writers,
“Do your kids help with household chores? If not, do you plan on giving them any as they get older? If so, at what age? Do/will they get an allowance?”
Here are responses from some of our World Moms…
MamaRobinJ of British Columbia, Canada writes:
“I look forward to the day I can give my son responsibility for cleaning the floors! 🙂
He’s three, but he does help a little bit and we’ll definitely keep him involved. We started long ago with getting him to pick up his toys and if he makes a mess he has to help clean it up, especially if he did it deliberately. He also loves to “help” so we let him and show him how (for the things it’s safe for him to do). As he gets older, we’ll expect him to contribute to stuff around the house, but to me that’s just an expectation as part of the family – I don’t plan to attach an allowance to it. Interested to hear other moms’ perspectives, though, especially if they have older kids and know how well that will or won’t work!”
Kyla P’an of Massachusetts, USA writes:
“Yes, my 5yo is very helpful, in fact, just last week she said: “Mommy, I love doing chores, why don’t you let me do them more?” (You should have seen the sinister look on my face after that one, somewhere between the Artful Dodger and Cinderella’s Evil Stepmother).
When I’m cleaning the house I give her a squirt bottle of lemon juice and water to go “clean” with (kids love squirt bottles). When I mop the floors, I have her “skate” around afterwards with two rags under her feet to dry it up. She is also expected to make her bed every morning. Our 2yo son is mildly vacuum obsessed so he gets to use the hand held vacuum on the floors (usually we go over them again when he’s asleep). There’s no money attached to these yet but we do have a chore chart and we do keep a mental log. We associate special treats (like ice cream or a candy from the corner store) with the level of helpfulness they’ve exhibited around the house during the week.”
Maggie Ellison of South Carolina, USA writes:
“My kids help pick up their toys and put their dishes in the sink. They like to help make the beds (and jump on them) and help fold (roll in a ball) the clothes. Basically, if they want to help with something, I find a way to include them. As they get older, I think they should be responsible for keeping their rooms together and continue helping with things here and there, as part of the family. As of now, I don’t see myself giving them an allowance or making a chore chart, but you never know.”
Multitasking Mumma of Ontario, Canada writes:
“My daughter is 15months and I ask her to pick up her toys and then follow through by having her follow my actions. She’s now beginning to put them away without my having to show her first.”
FireCrystals of India writes:
“My kid is 16 months old and he helpfully picks up specks from the floor and throws them into the garbage bin (without any prompting). The only thing is that, sometimes he is too ‘helpful’ and decides to throw everything he finds on the floor into the garbage bin (which includes any toys lying around).”
Dr. Lanham of Arizona, USA writes:
“My oldest had chores and received an allowance before he started working. Now my youngest has taken over the chores and earns money or perks for a job well done. We have our kids help around the house in order to prepare them for the work force and it teaches teamwork. No matter the age, we should give our kids some sort of responsibility teaching them that we earn everything that we receive.”
Jill of Illinois, USA writes:
“I’ll be honest, I’m not notably structured in this area. I would love to have a chore chart, with incentives attached to helpful behaviors, but at this point we are on what would be a randomized contribution pattern.
I certainly feel that kids should be responsible for their own toys and books, with no reward attached to caring for their own things. A tidy room and functional plaything is the payout!”
CiaoMom of Virginia, USA writes:
“My daughter is 6 1/2 and makes her bed, sets the table, cleans up her toys, and helps put away her laundry and dishes. Doing these things helps her earn TV or computer time each day, although I am lucky because she would do these chores without the incentive.
One good thing about her having been in Montessori is that they learn the concept of responsibility and helping take care of the community. So I did not have to do a lot of reinforcing about why it was important for her to help take care of things around the house.”
ThirdEyeMom of Minnesota, USA writes:
“I grew up with the much detested “Saturday Chores” which were written down on a piece of yellow legal paper and slipped through my bedroom door at 6 AM. I had to do these every single Saturday until I left the house and was paid about $8.00 for my two hours of work. I strongly believe that chores and responsibilities are extremely important for children and I will have my kids do chores as soon as they are ready (for me to determine). For now, they do other small things around the house like help with the recycling, clear the table and sometimes clean the floor. They earn $1 a week of allowance which has been the best thing we could have ever done since it teaches them to learn and understand money and not just keep asking for me to buy them things.”
Courtney Cappallo of Massachusetts, USA writes:
“My 6-year-old has been making her bed every morning since she was four years old. She is not permitted to come downstairs until her bed is made. I also encourage my girls to pick up their toys. They both clear their plates and put them in the sink. The other “chore” the girls do is help me water the plants every day, which they love doing! My two year old loves to help me vacuum, she doesn’t make much progress but she loves trying. I do not give my children an allowance and do not plan on doing it. I believe they are capable of doing the chores that are required of them, also, I believe that they should do them because it is the right thing to do, not because they want money for doing it. Works for us!”
Salma of Ontario, Canada writes:
“My kids do help with chores, but we don’t call them chores. I tell them it’s all about helping the family, and they must give and take.
They are rewarded with pretty much whatever they want (within reason). That was my hubby’s idea. There are pros and cons of course.”
Eva Fannon of Washington State, USA writes:
“I haven’t made my 5 year old take on chores, but she is always asking me how she can help me prepare dinner or clean, so I try find ways she can be involved safely. For example, I’ll let her empty the bottom rack of the dishwasher, or help me sort laundry and throw it into the machine. Or if I am cooking or baking, I’ll let her measure dry ingredients. She also LOVES vacuuming, so I will usually let her vacuum the living room rug.
I never got an allowance for chores growing up, so I am not likely to go that route, but will gladly reward with treats such as a little toy or an ice-cream cone for extra helpfulness.”
What about you… do your children help with household chores? Tell us how this works in your family!
And do you have a question you would like to pose to our WMB writers? If so, email us at wmbsidebareditor@gmail.com to see what they have to say.
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Come back tomorrow to read Jennifer Burden’s Saturday Layover.
– World Moms Blog
Photo credit to Jessica Lucia http://www.flickr.com/photos/theloushe/4908427309/. This photo has a creative commons attribute license.
I missed the deadline to add in, so will leave my comment here:
All my kids help and from a young age. Some day voluntarily and of course, like all kids, some days grudgingly.
They know that they need to help out because I can’t do everything on my own. They understand to have privileges they need to lend a hand.
I also think that it gives them a sense of responsibility.
I like Dave Ramsey’s Allowance technique. Basically, the kids get paid for jobs they need to do. I adapted that, decided how much I wanted to give them weekly and divided that amount into 4 daily chores (making their bed, straightening up playroom, setting and clearing off dinner table and dishes…) for 5 days a week. They do the chores, they get paid.
Aside from that on Friday and Saturday, they help out just because they are part of the family and thye need to pitch in because they are part of the family.
Because I was worried that if I asked them to do something NOT on their list they would say no-not my job, I also have a fine of a certain amount for them refusing to do something I ask of them.
I missed the deadline to add in, so will leave my comment here:
All my kids help and from a young age. Some day voluntarily and of course, like all kids, some days grudgingly.
They know that they need to help out because I can’t do everything on my own. They understand to have privileges they need to lend a hand.
I also think that it gives them a sense of responsibility.
I like Dave Ramsey’s Allowance technique. Basically, the kids get paid for jobs they need to do. I adapted that, decided how much I wanted to give them weekly and divided that amount into 4 daily chores (making their bed, straightening up playroom, setting and clearing off dinner table and dishes…) for 5 days a week. They do the chores, they get paid.
Aside from that on Friday and Saturday, they help out just because they are part of the family and thye need to pitch in because they are part of the family.
Because I was worried that if I asked them to do something NOT on their list they would say no-not my job, I also have a fine of a certain amount for them refusing to do something I ask of them.
So far I only let my sons to help me in laundry, throw their own diaper or some of other thing that need to be thrown to the rubbish bin and clean up their toys and books. They started it since they can walk, before 2 yo. Though it is a simple task, but I can see that they are very happy and treat it as part of their play time 😀
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FireCrystals – my 15 month old is doing that same as yours – picking up the tiniest crumbs off the floor. And last week I discovered that she is throwing other stuff (like the DVD remote control and her sister’s toys) into the garbage too. Too funny!
ThirdEyeMom – when I was a kid, we did all the chores on Saturday too. And I guess the Saturday habit stuck because I still tend to do all the housework cleaning on Saturdays — unless it’s a gorgeous sunny day in Seattle, which I just can’t sacrifice spending inside 🙂
my children help with chores, I read a book with a great comprehensive list called “401 ways To Get Your Children To Work At Home”. Some of my favorites were to have preschoolers do things like empty the small trash cans in the house into the kitchen trash, to assign them to wipe down doorknobs and light switches, to wash the lower set of kitchen cabinets, things like that. Jobs that are low to the ground, and that you can give to them with natural/non toxic cleaning supplies, even just water for the cabinets.
I like the washing lower set of kitchen cabinets idea – I could see my 5 yo LOVING that! Thanks for sharing jfarelynelle 🙂
Wow…I think I am too laid back with this. A lot of you said some good things and I am taken back by what some of your kids do at their age.
I think I know why I am lenient with this and I think it is because I am concerned they will. be burnt out with doing this kind of thing or that I am taking part of their childhood away by putting them to work.
Has anyone else ever felt like that? I can’t be the only one who has had this cross their mind. If so, where are with that now?
I have to say, I am seeing another perspective on the whole chore thing after reading some responses. Interesting…going to wait to see what others have to say and keep thinking about it.
We have no chores set yet, except we ask our 4 year old to pick up her toys before she goes to bed. I have to think of some more things…
Maggie, I think chores give kids a sense of self worth and importance. Children usually naturally want to help, I’ve found!
Jen 🙂
When mine want to help with household chores, I always find a way to make it work. They do help with picking up toys and that kind of thng. I was talking more about the scheduled chores and giving them a job every day, beyond picking up after themselves.
I have recently started asking my 4 year old to make his bed in the morning as soon as he gets up. He is very proud of himself, and announces to me that his bed is made every morning. Also, Sunday is usually cleaning day at our house, he loves to help dust, vacuum and mop (in fact, he loves it so much if he misbehaves, we “punish” him by taking away one of these tasks…. which is punishing ourselves at the same time). I am hoping that he will grow up not minding to clean, since we make it a fun activity that we do together, and that will turn him into a wonderful husband one day! 😉
One of my brothers is a fanatic about cleaning – and I agree, my sister-in-law is a lucky girl 🙂
Honestly, I know it sounds strange but I don’t think that I should pay my child to help around the house. I think it’s just something that she should do as to help as a part of our family. So far I have been saying that together there are things we need to do to help each other and to help our house run smoothly. She puts her dishes in the sink, helps carry laundry to her room and clean her toys up. Now I just have to find something I can give her an allowance for. Lol I just feel like being paid to help with the house sends a different message as if I will always owe her for cleaning up after herself.
I agree with you Jen, I think being paid to help around the house does send a different message.
Yes. We have some chores which just have to be done and some which are more flexible. Most of their chores are to do with personal care and a few to do with helping out the whole household.
Hello,
I disagree with you on kids and chores a 100%!
No kids should NOT have regular chores. Kids are kids NOT mini adults and need childhoods! Play is the MOST IMPORTANT thing in childhood. Kids have school, homework, etc already. EVERYTHING they can learn with chores they can learn in other ways. Yes, we should teach kids skills, etc and its OK if they help once in a while but making them have chores on a regular basis is WRONG! I did not have chores as a kid and have NO problems as an adult, I thank my parents for giving me a CHILDHOOD. I do the same with my kids!
Sincerely,
Th. Papaioannou