It took me that long to stop setting myself up for failure. You see, for as long as I can remember I’ve always felt that I just simply was “not good enough” so, every year, I’d promise myself that this year I’d finally be “good enough” if I lost 30 pounds, started exercising, became better at housekeeping and cooking healthy food, whilst at the same time started earning more money and volunteering at my kids’ school and donating more to charity and writing a novel and, and, and, and …. my list never ended!
Invariably, before the end of January, all my good intentions had been crushed by reality (“the road to hell is paved with good intentions”), and I would end up feeling even more useless than before!
So what changed? You know the saying that if you don’t respond to the “tap on the shoulder” the Universe will “drop a piano on your head”? Well, several years ago, I woke up in the worst pain I’d ever been in (except, maybe, for when I was in labour), and for several months we didn’t know what was causing it.
Eventually I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I won’t bore you with the details … let’s just say that a good day is one when my body just aches all over, and on a bad day it’s difficult for me to get out of bed at all! Suddenly, my priorities had to change. I had to learn to take care of myself first, otherwise, I’d be in too much pain to be of any use to anyone else!
I finally learnt why on a plane they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before trying to help others. The truth is that most of us moms try to give “oxygen” to everyone else whilst we’re slowly dying of suffocation ourselves! What my disease has taught me is that it is not selfish to take care of my needs … it is essential!
Now back to New Year’s Resolutions – I’m not against them, per se, I’m only against the idea that if we don’t manage to kick a bad habit or do something that doesn’t really fit in with our lifestyle, then we have “failed” (again!).
That said, if your Resolution for 2012 is to accept that good and bad are two sides of the same coin and there’s no such thing as “perfect”; if your Resolution is to love more and judge less (especially yourself!); if your Resolution is to be impeccable with your word and not to take anything personally; if your Resolution is to stop making assumptions (especially regarding other moms who seem to be “better” than you); if your Resolution is to trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be; if your Resolution is to enjoy each moment because one day it will be your last – then go right ahead!
The world would truly be a much better place if we all made those kinds of Resolutions!
How do you feel about New Year’s resolutions? Do you make them? Do you keep them?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Mama Simona of South Africa.
Photo credit to Puuiki Beach. This photo has a creative commons attribution license.