I’m 42 yrs old, and the only New Year’s Resolution I have managed to keep is the one I made several years ago to stop making New Year Resolutions!
It took me that long to stop setting myself up for failure. You see, for as long as I can remember I’ve always felt that I just simply was “not good enough” so, every year, I’d promise myself that this year I’d finally be “good enough” if I lost 30 pounds, started exercising, became better at housekeeping and cooking healthy food, whilst at the same time started earning more money and volunteering at my kids’ school and donating more to charity and writing a novel and, and, and, and …. my list never ended!
Invariably, before the end of January, all my good intentions had been crushed by reality (“the road to hell is paved with good intentions”), and I would end up feeling even more useless than before!
So what changed? You know the saying that if you don’t respond to the “tap on the shoulder” the Universe will “drop a piano on your head”? Well, several years ago, I woke up in the worst pain I’d ever been in (except, maybe, for when I was in labour), and for several months we didn’t know what was causing it.
Eventually I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I won’t bore you with the details … let’s just say that a good day is one when my body just aches all over, and on a bad day it’s difficult for me to get out of bed at all! Suddenly, my priorities had to change. I had to learn to take care of myself first, otherwise, I’d be in too much pain to be of any use to anyone else!
I finally learnt why on a plane they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before trying to help others. The truth is that most of us moms try to give “oxygen” to everyone else whilst we’re slowly dying of suffocation ourselves! What my disease has taught me is that it is not selfish to take care of my needs … it is essential!
Now back to New Year’s Resolutions – I’m not against them, per se, I’m only against the idea that if we don’t manage to kick a bad habit or do something that doesn’t really fit in with our lifestyle, then we have “failed” (again!).
That said, if your Resolution for 2012 is to accept that good and bad are two sides of the same coin and there’s no such thing as “perfect”; if your Resolution is to love more and judge less (especially yourself!); if your Resolution is to be impeccable with your word and not to take anything personally; if your Resolution is to stop making assumptions (especially regarding other moms who seem to be “better” than you); if your Resolution is to trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be; if your Resolution is to enjoy each moment because one day it will be your last – then go right ahead!
The world would truly be a much better place if we all made those kinds of Resolutions!
How do you feel about New Year’s resolutions? Do you make them? Do you keep them?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Mama Simona of South Africa.
Photo credit to Puuiki Beach. This photo has a creative commons attribution license.
Mamma Simona (South Africa)
Mamma Simona was born in Rome (Italy) but has lived in Cape Town (South Africa) since she was 8 years old. She studied French at school but says she’s forgotten most of it! She speaks Italian, English and Afrikaans. Even though Italian is the first language she learned, she considers English her "home" language as it's the language she's most comfortable in. She is happily married and the proud mother of 2 terrific teenagers! She also shares her home with 2 cats and 2 dogs ... all rescues. Mamma Simona has worked in such diverse fields as Childcare, Tourism, Library Services, Optometry, Sales and Admin! (With stints of SAHM in-between). She’s really looking forward to the day she can give up her current Admin job and devote herself entirely to blogging and (eventually) being a full-time grandmother!
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Wow, that sounds a lot like me. My new year’s resolutions have just fizzled out. I no longer have the strength to make them.
I have friends with Fibromyalgia and can attest that it is indeed difficult. Courage.
Simona!
Welcome, officially, to World Moms Blog from South Africa!!
I do make resolutions. I start them in December, so by that time January rolls around, I’m on a roll! 🙂
Thank you for sharing your feelings on resolutions with us!
Jen 🙂
Wecome Simona!
It’s so funny, because I was just thinking how the next post I write should be about re-evaluating the standards that I am holding myself to, and I had this idea for the accompanying photo to be me on a scale. It’s like you read my mind 😉
I was really careful this year about how I thought about resolutions. I don’t want to set myself up for failure or attempt an unrealistic standards, yet I struggle in determining what is graceful acceptance of my abilities at this stage of my life and what’s rationalization to not put in the extra effort. Hmmm….not sure I have the answers, but I do know I want to live healthier and be present to enjoy all the blessings around me…and evaluate those things on a more qualitatative, not quantatative basis.
Peace and good health to you in 2012!
Hi Simona, welcome on board! 🙂
I failed at New Year’s resolutions too. What usually happens to me is if I feel like I want to change something so bad, I just go ahead and do it. Also, that oxygen mask thing is so true!
I’m really sorry to hear about your illness.
You know only one thing helps me to go through all the New Year Resolution crazyness that happens around me every year. A song by Jamie Cullum:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsQUxlULI4U
… and I love your saying about the “tap on your shoulder”. It’s great!
Hope you’re well.
This year I didn’t make any new year resolutions for myself. But I did makes some for my girls – Big Girl is going to start eating (and hopefully) enjoying new foods and Little Girl will be potty trained. Both are obtainable and would happen naturally but hopefully we can help them along. As for myself, I feel like I am in a transitional phase (going from part-time working mom back to SAHM) and that is enough “change” in my life. Instead of resolutions, I do look at January as a fresh start. I also think of my birthday which is about 1/2 way through the year as another time to “start over”.
Funny, I’ve never been one to really make resolutions. I always found them silly… I mean why wait for the beginning of the year to change something that you have been wanting to change – right? I always noticed how January the gym would be full of people, and by mid- Feb they’d all be gone again.
I do completely agree with you about the oxygen mask and have pretty much said the same thing recently. We, as mothers, sacrifice so much for our children and families (and if we don’t we feel guilty about it). I had decided to change that for myself, not as a resolution, but as a reality….and it all starts tomorrow. 🙂
Feel good and be strong! And welcome to WMB!
Thanks to all the moms who took the time to respond. This is my first post and its hard for me to articulate how much your kind words and good wishes mean to me! I feel this is the start of a beautiful friendship 🙂