One of the great things about being a part of a community like World Moms Blog, is the diversity. Every day (okay, once or twice a week when I can finally catch up) readers are given treasured glimpses into a culture much different from their own. I read stories from all over the world, learning about the traditions these mothers have taken from their own heritage and brought into the lives of their children.
I’m left to wonder: what have I brought from my heritage to share with my own child?
I am a North American. Born and raised in California, now living in Nevada. My parents were born in Missouri and Pennsylvania. I was raised as a Catholic, though I no longer consider myself one. My ancestors mostly hail from Italy, England, and Ireland. This is what I believe constitutes as my heritage.
The things from my background that I share with my son, are the things that I feel have become very typical of a North American child. We celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, and the New Year in the winter; Easter in the spring; Fourth of July in the summer; and Halloween and Thanksgiving in the autumn. I have taken the religious meaning out of those holidays generally considered holy and made them into celebrations of the season, our family, our lives.
As for traditions, I’m afraid I don’t have any. I have been teaching my son nothing of where we come from. He doesn’t know that our family had to change their name when they arrived in America because theirs was too complicated. I sat here trying to think of another example of something he doesn’t know, but I couldn’t come up with anything else.
Maybe the problem is that I don’t know enough about my ancestry. I don’t know enough about where we are from.
When I was a senior in high school, I took Sociology as an elective. Our final project was to make a family history. We were to interview as many family members as possible, write about their stories and their lives, and put it all together in a book with photographs. Typical of me, I waited until the last minute. The night before it was due, I scrambled around typing up what I knew of each family member, flipping through photo albums to find at least a picture or two of everyone, and throwing together a pathetic excuse for a family history.
I think I got a B.
I know that “hindsight is always 20/20”, but I really wish I had done the complete project. I remember I had actually interviewed my maternal grandfather for that project, but I don’t know what I did with any of the notes. He told me stories of his time in the military. Now that he’s passed on, I wish I could remember them.
Imagine how wonderful it would be to be able to flip through this family history and tell my son all of the stories from his family. Imagine how exciting it would be showing him pictures of his family celebrating traditions that we still celebrate today.
This is why I blog. This is why I write. I am writing our history as it happens, so that one day my son will be able to pass on our stories to his children. And their children. And maybe, through this written history, traditions will emerge that I never even realized.
How do you pass on family stories and traditions to your own children?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Roxanne of Nevada, USA. You can find Roxanne at her editorial website, RoxannePiskel.com, and her personal blog, Unintentionally Brilliant.
Photo credit to Alia Moore, with permission.
Roxanne (USA)
Roxanne is a single mother to a 9-year-old superhero (who was born 7 weeks premature), living in the biggest little city and blogging all about her journey at Unintentionally Brilliant. She works as a Program Coordinator for the NevadaTeach program at the University of Nevada, Reno. Roxanne has a B.A. in English from Sierra Nevada College. She has about 5 novels in progress and dreams about completing one before her son goes to high school.
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Roxanne, Dont think of hindsight. I think you are now doing a great job in chronicling your journeys. Your son will be proud of the traditions you guys are now creating..
Thank you. 🙂 I do hope he will cherish these memories and traditions we are creating as much as I do.
Yes, I know he will 🙂
Rox,
I spent a lot of time working on my family history before and after I was newly married. I had an interest, but I also think part of it was that I was giving up my family name.
Where my family came from is important, but I realized that it’s only half the story. They all lived so their future generations could have a better life. So, I became equally focused on the “where you are going” in my outlook for life and parenting, too.
It sounds like you are doing a great job and creating your own family history in the making!
Jen 🙂
I do like the idea of focusing more on the “where are you going” rather than the “where have you been”. Thank you for your encouragement, Jennifer. 🙂
Great post, Roxanne! One thing that my spouse and I have resolved to do is record interviews of our family members. We were inspired by the StoryCorps project. On their website they have a list of great questions to ask. It’s been enlightening so far and we love that the recordings will exist for the next generation.
Thanks Ms. V! I’m going to have to check out that website. Maybe that’s something I can start doing as well. 🙂
I totally relate to you, Roxanne! My husband and I were born in Italy but have been living in South Africa for most of our lives. Most of our extended family is still “in the old country” and most of them have never come to Cape Town. I’ve found Facebook and email to be invaluable for keeping contact with family and friends overseas! 🙂
I was very good about journalling the first few months of my children’s lives – mainly cos I didn’t want to forget anything in those precious first few months when my brain was mush! Unfortunately I didn’t keep it up. Luckily, for the past couple of years, I’ve connected with an uncle who lives in the U.S. We write to each other once a day – Monday to Friday. This is my way of “storing” my everyday happenings. I also keep a journal, but I’m not as consistent as I’d like to be.
There are a couple of “traditions” which I started when my children were small and still do, even if they now find it “embarassing” or feel they’re “too old” (my son is 19 and my daughter is 16 years old). I like to read “The Night Before Christmas” out loud every Christmas Eve 🙂
When they were little that was the last thing before an early bedtime (“cos Santa can’t come to the house if any children are awake”)! I kept the Santa, Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy alive as long as possible too!
We’re also trying to create the tradition of one-on-one time. By that I mean taking my daughter to the hairdresser one day, my son out for coffee & cake another time and “date night” with my hubby. Then we also try to have a Family Fun Night – no TV just board games. Sometimes it’s hubby & kids playing Playstation games while I get to enjoy a novel! 🙂
I wish I could say that we do that once a week but, as both my husband and son are self-employed, I work full-time and my daughter has a ton of extra-mural activities, we kinda “seize the moment” when it presents itself. I’ve learnt that that is “good enough” … just having teens who WANT TO “hang” with their parents is a win in my book! 😛
I think the small traditions are just as important as the larger ones. They keep us connected, and it’s moments when we can pay attention to our nuclear family. I love that you have Family Fun Night, going to the hairdresser with your daughter, and going out for coffee & cake with your son. All of those are important for you and your children. Teens that want to hang out with their parents is definitely a win. I loved hanging out with my mom when I was a teen.
I love rituals and have invented or adapted quite a few just for our immediate family. Begnning them and then remembering to do them (LOL) is all it takes. 🙂
Sometimes remembering to do them is the hardest part. 🙂
You know, we don’t really have ny traditions in my family. We have a lot of fractured relationships, which I think has contributed to the lack of tradition. Further, being Jewish, traditions have been passed down from the beginning of the Jews. We thrive on tradition (and eating, but that’s neither here nor there), yet more and more, I am seeing a break down of those traditions.
I think, what you are doing is making your own history and traditions so to speak. He will appreciate you trying when he gets older. And what better way to record it all then a blog?
Exactly how I’m feeling now! 🙂
Great post. Way to direct your blogging energies to building a history for your children! That’s great.