I recently read an article in the NY Times that mentioned one of the most common causes for environmentalist guilt is using disposable diapers on their children (see here for commentary on the environmental impacts of diapering).
That got me thinking about my own practical inconsistencies as an environmentalist, and as a mother. After all, motherhood is one of those situations when you often end up doing a bunch of stuff you swore you never would (i.e. before you actually had kids!).
In Brazil when someone else comments negatively on another’s child raising practices, someone else will often advise: “Be careful not to pay for your tongue when you have your own kids!”
I realized that being an environmentalist and a mom gives me twice as many chances at not practicing what I preach! So, I have been thinking to myself, what is my greatest “green mommy guilt”?
Even though I do feel a bit uncomfortable about disposables (I use disposables at night and sometimes when I go out alone with our 16-month-old), that is not what I feel worse about when considering my environmentalist and mothering practices jointly. My greatest guilt comes from a four lettered word: T-O-Y-S.
Millions of tons of waste go into landfills and dumps around the world every year, including a huge amount of toys.
There is not a lot of reliable data on the amount of toys discarded annually around the world (see here an interesting map on the distribution of solid waste production globally), but one report estimates between 830,000 and 910,000 tons of electronic toys in the European Union alone are thrown away each year*. In the case of electronic toys, the consequences are even greater. This “e-waste” causes even more serious threats to human health and ecosystems, due the batteries and other parts that contain heavy metals and other toxic substances (see here and here for overall information on toxic substances found in toys and toy jewlery). Plus, there is packaging (see here), carbon emissions, and so much more.
That said, I must confess that the amount of toys our seven-year-old has is MUCH greater than he needs. Although we have managed to avoid electronic toys almost completely (and, consequently, their batteries), I must also confess that a large portion of his toys are made from plastic and/or left a country with uncertain environmental standards and crossed the world – contributing even more to global warming – to reach us here in Brazil.
The environmental impact is not all of it. I think that having too much stuff is not good for anyone. One possible consequence is not valuing what you have. I remember a time, not so long ago, when most of the gifts received by children were concentrated in birthdays and Christmas, and these dates were highly anticipated. Nowadays, with the huge amount of cheap plastic toys easily available in stores, this picture has changed completely.
I am the kind of person that hates to accumulate stuff (I might be a little on the extreme, in fact), and from time to time I do donate some of the excess toys. However, I admit I have had a hard time. The fact is, he does play with most of his toys, and he takes good care of them. He has a great imagination and invents all sorts of purposes and games for them.
Nevertheless, at times I am not pleased with his attitude (as in less than optimal gratitude levels and whining demands for new toys when we go out) and I think there is a lot of room for improvement. Thus, my husband and I recently joined efforts to select and donate a great part of his toy collection. We took advantage of his recent interest in the small Legos (more specifically Star Wars) and, as they are hugely expensive here, he offered to donate half his toys if he could start a collection.
Looking back, I now realize how we actually pushed a lot of toys on our son in his early years, based on our own interests and childhood recollections. His own interest only truly flourished when he was around three. And then, excited about this interest (in this case it started with cars), we promptly showered him with more stuff than we should have, pleased to see his reactions. Those first few years could have taken another path.
Now, with our daughter (and after our Waldorf experience), I realize how much she enjoys playing with things we already have around the house. She is content to play with pots and pans, as well as natural items like stones, shells, or leaves. Our son also enjoys being outdoors, but I think my awareness of it has grown. I’ve come to realize she does not need a ton of educational toys to develop (although I have nothing against most of them). The whole world is her laboratory (see here for info on the advantages of simple toys vs. electronic toys). It’s fascinating to see how much she discovers on her own: the idea of depth by filling and emptying a cup of water; spatial concepts by seeing how many stones fit into a crack in the yard; the sense of movement by how the wind bends a leaf in her hand.
Overall, the toy issue is not easy. Yet, when we make choices for our family in relation to toys, we must not forget (and here I use the wonderful title of an article I read, in Portuguese): the world is not a toy!
Where do you stand in relation to your children’s toys? Do you consider environmental issues when selecting their toys?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Eco Ziva of Brazil.
Photo credit to Cara Faus. This photo has a creative commons attribution license.
*Estimated data for the 27 countries of the European Union in 2005.
Yes, we do not buy much toys at all nowadays, even educational. He is more into reading books. But we carted off much of his toys for recycling a couple of times and it made me feel guilty of having spent a lot of money, of slipping in my environmental consciousness and of creating an atmosphere of excess at home. After those incidents, we have both kept a low profile talking about toys and purchasing them. And we seem to realise that our six year old is really not much into toys.
We are thankful that at least we did not go in for too much of electronics. I really do not want to pull more electronics into this home. But slowly his friends and some of our neighbours have started talking about DS and Play Stations. So far he has not showed much interest and I hope it stays that way.
Yes, we do not buy much toys at all nowadays, even educational. He is more into reading books. But we carted off much of his toys for recycling a couple of times and it made me feel guilty of having spent a lot of money, of slipping in my environmental consciousness and of creating an atmosphere of excess at home. After those incidents, we have both kept a low profile talking about toys and purchasing them. And we seem to realise that our six year old is really not much into toys.
We are thankful that at least we did not go in for too much of electronics. I really do not want to pull more electronics into this home. But slowly his friends and some of our neighbours have started talking about DS and Play Stations. So far he has not showed much interest and I hope it stays that way.
I agree. I think no matter where we live, we should go through our stuff every 6 months or more and clear out. We have 4 kids so toys breed like rabbits from doting relatives and Chinese friends here. There are ample places to donate to–homeless shelters for women and children, places that care for orphans and foster children, etc. Another thing we do, is since we have a fairly large expat community in our city, is periodically have a “free garage sale” where the stuff can change homes. I also agree with nonelectronic toys too. Their friends usually have plenty that they can borrow when they go visit! Our kids range from 2-8 and are very content reading, coloring, drawing and playing wildly imaginative games with blocks, legos and polly pockets.
I agree. I think no matter where we live, we should go through our stuff every 6 months or more and clear out. We have 4 kids so toys breed like rabbits from doting relatives and Chinese friends here. There are ample places to donate to–homeless shelters for women and children, places that care for orphans and foster children, etc. Another thing we do, is since we have a fairly large expat community in our city, is periodically have a “free garage sale” where the stuff can change homes. I also agree with nonelectronic toys too. Their friends usually have plenty that they can borrow when they go visit! Our kids range from 2-8 and are very content reading, coloring, drawing and playing wildly imaginative games with blocks, legos and polly pockets.
I’m with you, especially on the learning to value what we have part. I sometimes think that we are suffering from a disease of excess. Having an abundance of choice can also hinder children from exploring deep into just one or two things at a time. I’ve been wanting to clear our house of all these excess items, and look for a meaningful cause or place to give away to.
I’m with you, especially on the learning to value what we have part. I sometimes think that we are suffering from a disease of excess. Having an abundance of choice can also hinder children from exploring deep into just one or two things at a time. I’ve been wanting to clear our house of all these excess items, and look for a meaningful cause or place to give away to.
I’m with you, especially on the learning to value the things we have part. I also believe that because of the excess and abundance of choice, kids are discouraged from focusing on just one or two items at a time, and exploring deeper into each toy or even book. I’m also on a mission to declutter and simplify our home, it seems daunting and I don’t quite know where to begin but I’m sure it’ll be worth it!
I’m with you, especially on the learning to value the things we have part. I also believe that because of the excess and abundance of choice, kids are discouraged from focusing on just one or two items at a time, and exploring deeper into each toy or even book. I’m also on a mission to declutter and simplify our home, it seems daunting and I don’t quite know where to begin but I’m sure it’ll be worth it!
Fabulous post, Ecoziva!!!
Jen 🙂
Fabulous post, Ecoziva!!!
Jen 🙂
My husband and I also don’t believe in buying too many toys for our son (though from time to time, I feel as if my son is ‘deprived’ and I would get tempted to buy something). And like your daughter, my son actually prefers playing with things around the house (I’ve got tonnes of that to show on my blog *lol*).
My husband and I also don’t believe in buying too many toys for our son (though from time to time, I feel as if my son is ‘deprived’ and I would get tempted to buy something). And like your daughter, my son actually prefers playing with things around the house (I’ve got tonnes of that to show on my blog *lol*).
Totally agree Ecoziva! With our first, as you mention, doting relatives gifted a lot of toys. We have gotten better about setting limits with them and buying green toys ourselves if we do buy any.
With regard to impact, we freecycle a lot of them. We have saved toys from our first to our second and then when the second is done with them, we donate them to a non-profit pre-school or pass them on to a friend. That’s another great thing about the greener toys…the quality is so much better and they last so much longer!
Totally agree Ecoziva! With our first, as you mention, doting relatives gifted a lot of toys. We have gotten better about setting limits with them and buying green toys ourselves if we do buy any.
With regard to impact, we freecycle a lot of them. We have saved toys from our first to our second and then when the second is done with them, we donate them to a non-profit pre-school or pass them on to a friend. That’s another great thing about the greener toys…the quality is so much better and they last so much longer!
Great post. On the matter of diapers, I wonder if someone can’t design biodegradable diapers – shouldn’t be that hard considering they’ve designed biodegradable plastic?
Anyway, on the matter of toys: I get a little bitter when kids have tonnes and tonnes of toys, because I think it’s a bit unnecessary; but I also think that parents should do what they think is best for their kids.
HOWEVER, I don’t believe one should ever discard toys – unless they are so broken that they are utterly unsalvageable. In my parents’ 23 years of raising kids, they have not thrown away a single toy. Yes, we generally passed on my toys to the other siblings, but we also gave a lot to the local orphanages and the local informal settlements.
A “privileged” kid might turn his nose up at a remote control car that no longer drives by itself, but to the kid who gets one meal a day and doesn’t have running water at home, it’s a toy car! And he plays with it, and loves it.
I don’t propose we should give the underprivileged our rubbish, but I do think we should redefine “rubbish”.
A while ago my dad caught me throwing out crayons that I didn’t want, but still had about half their lifetime to go. He made me fish it all out of the dustbin, sharpen it and take it to one of the local creches. He was an orphan who grew up with almost nothing.
Hope this helps 🙂
Great post. On the matter of diapers, I wonder if someone can’t design biodegradable diapers – shouldn’t be that hard considering they’ve designed biodegradable plastic?
Anyway, on the matter of toys: I get a little bitter when kids have tonnes and tonnes of toys, because I think it’s a bit unnecessary; but I also think that parents should do what they think is best for their kids.
HOWEVER, I don’t believe one should ever discard toys – unless they are so broken that they are utterly unsalvageable. In my parents’ 23 years of raising kids, they have not thrown away a single toy. Yes, we generally passed on my toys to the other siblings, but we also gave a lot to the local orphanages and the local informal settlements.
A “privileged” kid might turn his nose up at a remote control car that no longer drives by itself, but to the kid who gets one meal a day and doesn’t have running water at home, it’s a toy car! And he plays with it, and loves it.
I don’t propose we should give the underprivileged our rubbish, but I do think we should redefine “rubbish”.
A while ago my dad caught me throwing out crayons that I didn’t want, but still had about half their lifetime to go. He made me fish it all out of the dustbin, sharpen it and take it to one of the local creches. He was an orphan who grew up with almost nothing.
Hope this helps 🙂
Such an interesting post! Along the lines of what you express, with our first son I felt like we went overboard with toys. But now we have son #2 and have bought very little. In fact, it makes me feel better to see how toys we invested in years ago are getting great use today.
In terms of trying to curb our impact, I work hard to recycle/re-use toys by offering them to friends with younger children or taking them to a local donation center that helps families right here in our area. And when it’s my sons’ birthdays, on party invitations, I always note that a friend’s attendance is the best gift and additional presents are optional. I leave it open for people to give if a gift if they wish, but I let them know we will not open presents at the party. I do this to spare anyone who didn’t bring a gift any embarrasment, and I also want my sons to understand that the biggest treat of their birthday is spending it with the people who love them. And they send thank you cards to everyone in attendance, whether a gift was given or not.
Lastly, we have many out of town relatives who want to send our boys gifts. I promote gifts of movie tickets, kids’ magazine subscriptions, or a membership to a local museum or zoo, which can be purchased online and sent via email.
Such an interesting post! Along the lines of what you express, with our first son I felt like we went overboard with toys. But now we have son #2 and have bought very little. In fact, it makes me feel better to see how toys we invested in years ago are getting great use today.
In terms of trying to curb our impact, I work hard to recycle/re-use toys by offering them to friends with younger children or taking them to a local donation center that helps families right here in our area. And when it’s my sons’ birthdays, on party invitations, I always note that a friend’s attendance is the best gift and additional presents are optional. I leave it open for people to give if a gift if they wish, but I let them know we will not open presents at the party. I do this to spare anyone who didn’t bring a gift any embarrasment, and I also want my sons to understand that the biggest treat of their birthday is spending it with the people who love them. And they send thank you cards to everyone in attendance, whether a gift was given or not.
Lastly, we have many out of town relatives who want to send our boys gifts. I promote gifts of movie tickets, kids’ magazine subscriptions, or a membership to a local museum or zoo, which can be purchased online and sent via email.
As for the diapers, I actually do not have guilt using disposables. I buy Nature Babycare brand which is completely biodegradable. And quite honestly, the tons of water and soap that are used for washing diapers are quite damaging to the environment as well. That being said, I could not agree with you more on the topic of the toys. I usually only give my kids about half of what they receive as gifts for the holidays or for birthdays. The rest goes up into the closet for when we need to give gifts, or for the holiday toy drives. I also make sure to use rechargeable batteries on any electronic toys we may have. And I am a huge believer in donating or handing down toys, clothes, baby items… Basically anything that my kids have outgrown. Great post Eco!
As for the diapers, I actually do not have guilt using disposables. I buy Nature Babycare brand which is completely biodegradable. And quite honestly, the tons of water and soap that are used for washing diapers are quite damaging to the environment as well. That being said, I could not agree with you more on the topic of the toys. I usually only give my kids about half of what they receive as gifts for the holidays or for birthdays. The rest goes up into the closet for when we need to give gifts, or for the holiday toy drives. I also make sure to use rechargeable batteries on any electronic toys we may have. And I am a huge believer in donating or handing down toys, clothes, baby items… Basically anything that my kids have outgrown. Great post Eco!
This is a fantastic post! Every time I purchase a toy, I cringe a little bit thinking about the wasteful packaging and the fact that we already have way too many toys. In the beginning, I realize now that I showered my first son with every toy he wanted in an effort to “make up” for the time we lost out on together (he was adopted at 11 months of age.) Over the years, both of my children would rather play with items we already have around the house, or a very few select toys. We’ve scaled down, but the toy issue is still huge for us!
From the day our No. 2 came along we haven’t bough a single toy for her. Many toys our No. 1 has are toys she got from her cousins or our friends who have much older kids. Toys she likes the most are teddy bears which come without any packages! She loves to play with sticks, sand and all kinds of rocks and if I let her she would sleep in bed filled with those! 🙂
As soon as she started showing an interest in “wanting” all the toys she sees in the store we have been really strict with saying “no” to her or “you can have it but just for the time we are at the store”. Now she is really good about it and every time we leave the store she gives those toys back without a word.
I think we, as a family, are doing good on this issue 🙂
thank you for bringing that up!