It was about a year and a half ago, when we decided to homeschool my daughter, now almost 3. At the time, we knew we’d start at preschool age and get in a few months to a year before adding to our family.
Life has completely tipped upside down since then, after losing our twin boys at 20 weeks into my pregnancy. We’re in the middle of an international adoption but even that is uncertain at the moment.
For now, Bella is an only child with no siblings in the near future. Although this wasn’t our plan, I’ve decided to work with it as best I can. Having her at home with me offers more time to bond and for me to share those little moments that go by so fast. We chose to homeschool since the preschools in our areas aren’t impressive, and we do it mostly by ourselves with no co-op near us. We do have friends that are homeschooling their children that we occasionally get together with, but for most days it’s simply Bella and I at home or out taking “field trips” to nearby farms, zoo’s museums, etc.
When we started homeschooling last month, there were the fears and worries I’ve read from almost every homeschool parent at some point:
- “Can I teach my own child?”
- “Will they learn to socialize?”
- “How will I know they’re learning?”
- “What methods do I use?”
Beyond that for me was wondering if it was ok to homeschool an only child. When I get on other blogs, I see moms who teach their 3, 4, 5+ children and understand that socialization happens with them, they all end up working with each other in different areas. With Bella, it’s just her and I. This makes for at times a harder scenario when she needs to learn to work on her own but I’m right there, but then it’s much easier to help her learn with no other distractions.
As a former preschool teacher, I took many ideas I used in my own classroom, and quite a few of the saved materials, and incorporated them into setting up a classroom for Bella in our playroom.
We’ve incorporated a curriculum with Before Five in a Row, or BFIAR, that is more language and literature based. It starts from age 2 all the way through high school, although we aren’t sure if we’ll homeschool past elementary and possibly middle. This curriculum takes classic children’s books and offers craft, science, simple math, and discussion ideas that can be simplified or added onto for younger or older children. I love it because it’s very much a preschool program – lots of learning, exploring, and teaching about the world we live in. It adds in motor skills but that isn’t the focus.
To make some of that weigh a little less on me, I try to plan playdates and outings as much as I can. Her dad and I take her to all kinds of things on the weekends. It gets a bit tough to schedule all of this with school, work, and home, but we have managed so far. I have a sitter who comes 3 mornings a week so that I can work, and then in the afternoon we have preschool. We have homeschool 2-3 days a week, I keep it the same amount of days as we’d have sent her to a public preschool.
I’d love to know if there are any other moms who homeschool just one child and what you do during the weeks with socializing. How do you feel about the amount of one on one time your child gets with you?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog from our homeschooling mom in Texas, Diana Stone.
The image used in this post is credited to the author.
Hi, Diana! 🙂 When we started homeschooling our eldest, he was also our only child at the time. We started when he was 3 and I just used stuff from the Internet and read lots of books to him. We were in Timor at the time. 🙂
Anyway, I don’t think socialization is so much of an issue even if your daughter is an only child at this point. Actually, what she needs more now is the relationship that I’m sure you’re building with her. 🙂
Also, I don’t know if you have seen this article on Simple Homeschool, but it may help you: http://simplehomeschool.net/homeschooling-an-only-child-the-pros-and-cons/. Also, Susan Lemons’ website at http://www.susanlemons.wordpress.com is really helpful to us homeschoolers with preschool-aged kids. 🙂
I also have a friend who blogs about using BFIAR and FIAR – maybe you’d like to check her site out, too. 🙂
I’m happy to know I’m not the only homeschooling momma on the WMB team! 🙂
God bless always!
We are lucky enough to be part of an amazing moms/playgroup. The moms keep me sane, grounded and laughing and the kids have been crucial in Ruby’s early socialization skills… That said we are now doing ballet class with kids we don’t know and it had taken her a few weeks to break out of her shell and make friends. About to start another pre-school type class one day a week to help with that issue…
Hi Diana,
So glad Tina already found this post! Also, Courtney Cappallo and Nicole Morgan, also World Moms Blog contributors are also homeschooling moms. They may have some good advice for you.
It is precious time together — grab it when and while you can when Bella is small!
Jen 🙂
Welcome to the world of homeschooling! I home-school my 7 and 4 yr. old children. I also home-school two preschool age children every Tuesday, in exchange their mothers take my 4 yr. old two days a week for a two hour period so that I get exclusive one-on-one time with my older daughter.
We use the Classical Education method and love it. Seems like you’ve found a really good fit with your curriculum.
As for the socialization question, which is the question I get asked the most, it is a non-issue. Both of my girls take swim class, my older daughter takes Irish Step Dancing classes, my younger daughter attends a library preschool story hour and then there are the plethora of neighborhood kids that my children interact with almost every single day.
I’ve found that because of home-schooling, if anything, my children are incredibly respectful of adults. There are completely at ease interacting with adults and hanging out with them.
My mother was a public school teacher for 30+ years, taught private school for 3 yrs., did her PhD thesis on home-schooling, is a college professor and now a master teacher to a school district in NJ. She thinks home-schooling is the best method for educating our youth. The one-on-one attention is priceless. It is that feedback that helps me when I get nervous about home-schooling. She is the gold standard when it comes to teaching so I value her opinion very much.
Best of luck!!
A friend of our was unable to have more than one child, and homeschooled him from about 1st grade on. He is now a happily-married Marine with two children.
Their lives were more rustic and some of his escapades were truly comical. He was a very hands-on learner, preferring to LEARN how to build a hut, weave a mat, etc., than to read about it. He took almost full charge of his own education at an early age. (Well, his mom took charge of his handwriting at on point! :-D)
One time she could not find him anywhere and began to panic, but she found him: He had dug a hole in their back yard and was in it, with only his hair and eyes showing. Such fun!
Diana, I’ve been going through all those questions, as well.
My husband wants our kids (we’ve got two, and this is how we want it to stay) to be homeschooled, I’m not sure about it. So far, all my friends and people I’ve met think I must be crazy to even consider homeschooling. I have not met a single person who liked the idea.
They all ask: “why would you want to do that to yourself AND to your kids?”. They all say: “Woman, you’ll be stuck with the kids all day long. When are you gonna have time for yourself?” etc.
Our oldest is 2.5 and it’s almost time to start thinking very seriously about the decision. Your article made me feel really good about my doubts. I feel like it’s not just me wondering and worrying if this is the right decision. I know there are many opponents and proponents of homeschooling and they all have good reasons to like it or not.
Maybe I should try for a year or two and see if it’s working for us (or not).
I admire anyone who homeschools their children, I just don’t think I could do it without causing bodily harm to one or other of our lot. I do have a wonderful blog buddy, Laura-Grace Weldon who is a passionate homeschooler and has written, Free Range Learning (How Homeschooling Changes Everything) which (as an ex-teacher) I would recommend. All power to you!
I started homeschooling my son who is 15 this year.its not easy but the joy I’m experiencing is priceless knowing that he is getting the best. He gets to be himself doesn’t fear going to school anymore since I use to be summoned to the principals office I was getting irritated .he gets all the attention since he is an only child and I’m single.im glad that I’m teaching him .having taught other learners for the past 21 yrs I decided to impart the skills to him much as it is costly I don’t regret.