It began out of exasperation. Due to the logistics of Craig walking in the door at 5:45 pm and theΒ smallest boy heading to bed at 6:30 pm, I’ve been cooking evening meals for the past few years.Β Craig is also allergic to cooking vegetables: something my mothering bones cannot manage with three very active boys in the house.
ThenΒ weekend meals somehow became my domain as well. Cooking on the weekend is not so bad: there’s more time to get my act together and fewer things to fit in before bedtime. I can create and extend my culinary expertise in ways that torment as much as they thrill.
I was pretty fed-up, though, at having to create reasonably healthy and reasonably quick meals every night of the week. So I invented Fend For Yourself Fridays as an attempt to cut down on my workload. And the dishes. And the grocery shopping. And my stress levels.
The idea is simple: apart from the three year-old everyone has to prepare, eat and clean-up their own dinner each Friday night. The three year-old and I work together and he’s well practised at licking spoons due to my addiction to baking muffins.
This allΒ went well for a few months. The older boys became proficient at the basics of cooking eggs and things which began life in a can. Craig mumbled a bit, but our house is often noisey and I don’t think anyone heard him. Then we began to ease the boys into watching the tele again (long story short: our kids are VERY reactive to any electronic stimulation, so we cut it out altogether for many years.)
Foolish Mumma turned on Master Chef.Β It looked harmless enough. Then it morphed into: Master Chef Australia. Master Chef New Zealand. Junior Master Chef. All Stars Master Chef. The older boys took all this to heart. Of course they did.
The experiments began: cake batter with no flour; pasta with sauces as yet undiscovered by civilisation; desserts that include chocolate, lemon-honey, tin-foil and milk. The mess has been horrendous. The rescuing I have had to do has been unprecedented. My oven is a mess and so is my kitchen floor. (OK,Β theyΒ wereΒ already a mess – but more so.) The Friday night dishes pile has evolved to look like something akin to the Himilayas. Before erosion.
The arguing over space is intense. The laughter hurts my stomach muscles.Β The learning is awesome.
The joy on the boys’ faces when they eat something they’ve invented and cooked for themselves is like no other I’ve seen in them. They share their results and they make suggestions to each other as they cook. They rate each others meals and plating skills. They don’t even raise an eye-brow when they have to dry extra dishes.
Unintended outcomes: for sure.Β Do I love it: absolutely. Will I keep the ritual: too right!
Have you ever made plans, as a mother,Β which have had unexpected and delightful outcomes?
This is an original post by Karyn Van Der Zwet.Β You can also find her onΒ her own blog. She can often be found on Facebook and rarely on twitter β@kloppenmum. She is the author of Why People Drive You Crazy which is available in print and for Kindle through amazon.com. Her second book: All About Β Tantrums is incredible and will be released when the planets align themselves in an appropriate manner.
Photo credit to rootsteven. Β This photo has a creative commons attribute license.
That’s absolutely wonderful! π
They’ve actually just finished showing the first season of Junior Masterchef Australia, here in South Africa. My entire family was totally blown away by the amazing dishes these 9-12 year olds were able to produce!
I’m REALLY fortunate that since my Fibromyalgia pain has worsened my wonderful hubby has pretty much taken over cooking for the family. At first it was very basic … but he has ALSO been inspired by Junior Masterchef and has become more adventurous in his cooking. So far his “experiments” have produced some unexpectedly dlicious results! Who says that adults can’t learn from children. π
I must admit I was intimidated by what those children were cooking on Junior Masterchef too. It’s great that your hubby is doing a lot of cooking and that he is inspired by Masterchef – it is good to stretch our range of dishes from time to time, IMHO
Oh Karyn this is brilliant. Sharing!
Thanks, Laura. Pleased you enjoyed it!
Haha, I love it! I actually really want to involve my children in the kitchen (with the secret agenda of not having to cook dinner every night some day in the future), so I can’t wait!
I love that you have a secret agenda, Alison. Seeing our boys cook is very satisfying, eating their food is sometimes a little dodgey. π
I love this post!
I often tell my 5 year old that some day she will have to take over the cooking duties. Right now I cook during the week and get grumpy when I have to cook Friday night. So now I rarely do – we either go out or my husband gets the duty.
I also love the rule that “cooks don’t clean” but somehow in our house the cooks do the cleaning, too. *sigh* Some day they will be bigger and this is the first chore I will be passing off.
I would love to have a ‘cooks don’t clean’ rule, but I suspect the people cooking will use as much equipment as they possibly can just to annoy the disher washers!
I’m pleased you enjoyed the post.
Karyn, this is absolutely awesome! You have given me ideas π
My cunning and evil plan was to give people ideas, Purnima. So pleased it worked. π
That is so so cool! I am very limited as to the amount of hands-on I allow my kids in the kitchen. But I know I need to change this and let them do more if they’re ever going to learn.
Yes, I agree with you. Sadly children are often messy as they learn. Our children are exceptional in this area. π
Karyn, I love this post. We watch the occasional cooking show on public television and Kiddo is glued to it. We’ve always included him in mealtime prep since he was about 3 or so, and this has expanded his palate (and of course, capabilities) considerably.
A new kindergartener, Kiddo has a hard time managing his time in class– he’s a perfectionist about some things and easily distracted. Thus, we were having work sent home to do. So, we’ve started a tradition on the weekends of taking his homework to the pub(where there are not the distractions of his toys and other beloved activities) and having a snack together. This has turned into all three of us drawing pictures in keeping with his homework (which includes a lot of art)… these discussions, on-the-fly art lessons, and focused time together over homework have become very looked-forward-to. He’s got our attention, gets the support he needs– the best thing for me is that I see my husband more involved and aware of what happens for Kiddo at school simply because of this. Which, of course, helps *me* to feel supported, because I’m not doing the ‘school parenting’ alone. And because Kiddo has some issues with how his eyes track and work, this really helps us to notice where he is struggling/improving with his writing skills. Who knew that going out for a pint and sharing a ploughman’s platter could end up improving Kiddo’s education?
Great idea! Any way you can enjoy a pint and a platter and improve a child’s education has to be positive. Clever you.
what a wonderful story! I can imagine the mess but as well, the joy and the happiness, I can hear the laughter…
That is probably my hysteria and their manic delight at messing with my mind… π
Loved this post Karyn – it put a smile on my face. Like Ewa, I too could imagine the mess….but the outcome would be totally worth it π
It is all *so* worth it, Eva! And if they can throw together a decent meal by the time they leave home, that’ll be wonderful too.
Possibly this recipe exists somewhere out there in the world: I never hunted for a recipe but I do admit to watching our local noodle shop make our favourites and decided to make my own recipe. Having cooked this many times now, I can say the dish is a constant crowd-pleaser. What better name, therefore, than Oyeniyi Honey Soy Noodles. If you donβt find the finished product appetising, you can skip the rest of the article! I can assure you what ever volume I cook disappears around here. Masterchef wouldnβt give me gold stars for plate presentation, but when producing 6 meals in a short space of time it is taste, not presentation, that matters!
This post definitely made me smile!! This is how I cook. I’m no good at following recipes, Karyn! lol In that respect I have made up some yummy stuff now and again! And, some not so yummy! I look forward to playing your game with my girls as they get older. Great post!
Jen π
Thanks, Jen. I am also a ‘spontaneous’ cook and have had some wonderful disasters and some culinary delights.
I just remind myself it’s good to not be worried about making mistakes! (And have a couple of cans of baked beans handy. π )
This is awesome Karyn! My son (who has only just turned 6), has started to have opinions about what we should have for dinner, and adding ingredients…so I let him.
One time, instead of grabbing paprika from the cabinet we got cinnamon. The chicken turned out amazing! Another time we pulled out nutmeg by accident, and it turned out horribly.
It’s all in good fun, and the outcome makes it all worth it! π
I love this post and this idea! What wonderful memories you are creating together. When I was little, my mom would call for “Dinner Jump Up” from time to time, meaning – jump up and make it yourself. I haven’t tried that yet with my kids, but I just might after reading your post π