I love being a mother and I’m forever grateful for my children. It has not always been so smooth through pregnancy, childbirth, and nurturing but I’m constantly learning, praying and evolving as I navigate through this journey of motherhood. We have been blessed with two gorgeous boys who are to me everything that I could have asked or wished for. They are sweet in their own right and sometimes can be thorns in each other’s flesh (sibling rivalry). I don’t dare say I know much about that as I am an only child so did not have to fight over toys with any sibling. Nonetheless I get to watch the love and bond that both boys share which is beyond every little fight that exist between the two.
Raising boys has its own challenges but I guess the same can be said about girls too (any help from mums with girls?) This should be another topic for discussion sometime later. Often times I get friends asking me how I manage with two boys? I don’t always have an answer but rather say to them; do I need a formula to manage boys? I believe every child is an individual with unique strengths that need to be nurtured by parents and not go by society’s norms to raising boys or girls in a certain way. Every child is created different and no two children are the same even twins. I am not a perfect parent but I pray and strive to be the best mother to our children.
This topic of motherhood and experiences came up during a discussion with a group of mum friends at one of the children’s parties we had attended. As usual we sat around and chatted over finger foods and tried to catch up on what we had been up to. A mum who was still nursing her then 4-month old baby told us about her birthing experience since she was a first time mum and wanted to hear from some of us who had been there before. You sometimes feel you have a lot of experience after a second or a third child and can give the most advice to new mums. This was her question to us: ‘so how was it like during the birth of your first child? Were you so nervous or scared? My answer to her was simple; I was just SCARED!Although I had been to all my antenatal appointments and prior to my delivery date had two tours of the theatre to familiarize with the place and ask all the questions and concerns I had, I still could not believe that it was really happening; I was actually bringing a baby to the world who will depend on me for his needs. I told her that my OB/GYN was the nicest doctor I had ever met and by the way he was the same one who delivered our second child. He got me to relax before the procedure and even had music in the background to calm my nerves (oh yeah!) His wife was also by my side smiling and my husband on the other side assuring me that I was gorgeous and everything will be just fine. As I shared my story, I could see the new mum smiling at her baby who was dozing off on her lap. In a rather subtle voice, the new mum narrated her experience as one she will forever cherish because motherhood had changed her whole perspective about life. It had taught her to love unconditionally and share her life with her husband and their adorable newborn.
One mum said she had a miraculous delivery because she had dilated within minutes when she was brought in to the hospital and before the doctor arrived she had delivered with only a midwife in attendance. Halleluiah to that one! Some women are pretty lucky huh! For her, she says motherhood rocks, and wishes that every woman who desires it should be blessed to experience it.
Another mum lamented on how it took her several hours before her first son was born because according to her ob/gyn, she was a bit older; 37years. This she said made her scared as she was in what seemed to be like a perpetual labor. But after it all she’s become a better person to her herself and her family and motherhood has been worth the labor pain.
As we shared our different birthing stories, I realised every birth was unique in its own way and we are blessed with such an opportunity to nurture our children into becoming great individuals to live their purposes.
Being a mother is a job in itself and a great mission for each one of us who are blessed with children. This quote sat well with me as I read an article from Rachel Jankovic, author of ‘Loving the Little Years’ and I quote:
“Motherhood provides you with an opportunity to lay down the things that you cannot keep on behalf of the people that you cannot lose. They are eternal souls, they are your children, they are your mission field.”
We are all on a mission here and it’s great to share our experiences with one another.
What’s your birthing experience? Did you have it easy the first time around? What is your outlook on motherhood generally?
This is an original post written by Adwoa Gyimah for World Moms Network.
