In the seven years that I’ve been a mom, I have found some new interests, passions and ahem fixations. One of them being to find the best playgrounds in town.
I never used to worry about that before I had kids. Or, the finest pacifiers, best swimming lessons and kid friendly (read: loudest) restaurants. Nope. I never used to wonder about those either.
But some of my interests have stayed exactly the same. Eerily, oddly, obsessively: The same. (more…)
For most of us, it is impossible to predict what it will be like to juggle the responsibilities of life, work and family until we’re actually in the trenches. Looking back, I really had no clue.
At around 26-weeks pregnant (with twins), I clearly remember my supervisor’s reaction when I explained my post-maternity leave plans. I would take the maximum allowance of 12 weeks unpaid-leave (yes, I know…don’t get me started), return to work part-time at three months, then full-time at six months.
My supervisor at the time – a supportive mom of three – proceeded to laugh at me. “What? You don’t think it’s realistic?” I responded. She smiled knowingly and gently suggested that I wait and see how things go.
But the truth is, I hadn’t really thought it through at all. With so many practical things to focus on, the theoretical aspects of impending parenthood had escaped me. I had no idea how life would change once the babies arrived, so it seemed safe to stick to what I knew and assume that I’d keep working. (more…)
My childbearing days are over. There, I said it. Now I can move on and go about my life as normal.
Sigh.
If only it were that easy.
Being raised in the Southern United States, specifically Arkansas, the long standing joke is that we are all hillbillies and women are kept barefoot and pregnant. In reality, we are actually a modern society with running water and indoor toilets. However, as a woman, from a young age our focus is trained on marriage and motherhood, specifically in that order. (more…)
Once I became pregnant with my second child, I had several mothers tell me “Don’t be afraid that you won’t love another like your first. You will!” Because the topic came up so often, I felt that I was an oddball to not be worried about this. I feel like I have a lot of love in my heart, and I couldn’t wait to give it!
No, I had my mind on other things. When I found out that I was having a second daughter, I became caught up in daydreams wondering how she would be so different from my older daughter and who she would be.
So, I often found myself feeling like I was turning pages until I found the answer in a book, but only the pages were days and the book is life. And….I’ve got to learn to be patient.
But, let’s face it. Do you know any sisters that are so alike? I, myself, am one of three sisters, and we’re all so very different. So strange to think that we’re from the same parents and grew up in the same house! (more…)
Jennifer Burden is the Founder and CEO of World Moms Network, an award winning website on global motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. World Moms Network writes from over 30 countries, has over 70 contributors and was listed by Forbes as one of the “Best 100 Websites for Women”, named a “must read” by The New York Times, and was recommended by The Times of India. She was also invited to Uganda to view UNICEF’s family health programs with Shot@Life and was previously named a “Global Influencer Fellow” and “Social Media Fellow” by the UN Foundation. Jennifer was invited to the White House twice, including as a nominated "Changemaker" for the State of the World Women Summit. She also participated in the One Campaign’s first AYA Summit on the topic of women and girl empowerment and organized and spoke on an international panel at the World Bank in Washington, DC on the importance of a universal education for all girls. Her writing has been featured by Baby Center, Huffington Post, ONE.org, the UN Foundation’s Shot@Life, and The Gates Foundation’s “Impatient Optimists.” She is currently a candidate in Columbia University's School of International and Public Affairs in the Executive Masters of Public Affairs program, where she hopes to further her study of global policies affecting women and girls. Jennifer can be found on Twitter @JenniferBurden.
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I have just experienced that feeling of “thank God there are two of us,” which is automatically followed by a rush of respect for all the single parents out there. I am not talking about being able to go out while your other half can stay home with the kids, or being able to share sick days, or being able to share childcare pickups and drop offs; although just writing this list gives me greater appreciation for my other half who is there to share the joyous, yet sometimes challenging role of parenting.
What I’m talking about are those moments where you just can’t take it anymore. Just writing about my experience makes me feel almost ashamed, but these real life parenting moments do happen – to all of us I’m sure.
It’s beyond any reasoning, when all the love, patience and understanding fly out the window; when all the books and all the best advice seem like insignificant nonsense and when you are beyond common sense, alone in the world, no light at the end of the tunnel.
Let me go back in time and share with you how a perfectly sane, relaxed and happy young mother transforms into a frustrated and completely clueless role model void of all parenting self-esteem…. (more…)
Jennifer Burden is the Founder and CEO of World Moms Network, an award winning website on global motherhood, culture, human rights and social good. World Moms Network writes from over 30 countries, has over 70 contributors and was listed by Forbes as one of the “Best 100 Websites for Women”, named a “must read” by The New York Times, and was recommended by The Times of India. She was also invited to Uganda to view UNICEF’s family health programs with Shot@Life and was previously named a “Global Influencer Fellow” and “Social Media Fellow” by the UN Foundation. Jennifer was invited to the White House twice, including as a nominated "Changemaker" for the State of the World Women Summit. She also participated in the One Campaign’s first AYA Summit on the topic of women and girl empowerment and organized and spoke on an international panel at the World Bank in Washington, DC on the importance of a universal education for all girls. Her writing has been featured by Baby Center, Huffington Post, ONE.org, the UN Foundation’s Shot@Life, and The Gates Foundation’s “Impatient Optimists.” She is currently a candidate in Columbia University's School of International and Public Affairs in the Executive Masters of Public Affairs program, where she hopes to further her study of global policies affecting women and girls. Jennifer can be found on Twitter @JenniferBurden.
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I have a perfect pantry. I have matching jars. I have matching baskets. There are shelves on which certain things sit. Together. It is small and perfectly formed. It is organised. It is tidy. It is utterly gorgeous. And it is the only place in our house like it.
You see, we are all project people. We have great ‘start-up’ abilities and not such good ‘follow through.’ We do finish things, but it takes longer than anyone else – because we tend to go off on tangents. We think we can multi-task when all evidence points to the contrary. This creates an interesting home.
Our kitchen, for example, took nine years for my husband to renovate, and the rest of the house is a work in progress. We walk around piles of tools, and bits of wood are stacked next to me as I type. Craig is an archer. Archery equipment does not fit tidily in neat rows. There are a variety of things which fall on my head when I get too close to his archery cupboard. Most of them sharp and pointy. (more…)
