Once I became pregnant with my second child, I had several mothers tell me “Don’t be afraid that you won’t love another like your first. You will!” Because the topic came up so often, I felt that I was an oddball to not be worried about this. I feel like I have a lot of love in my heart, and I couldn’t wait to give it!
No, I had my mind on other things. When I found out that I was having a second daughter, I became caught up in daydreams wondering how she would be so different from my older daughter and who she would be.
So, I often found myself feeling like I was turning pages until I found the answer in a book, but only the pages were days and the book is life. And….I’ve got to learn to be patient.
But, let’s face it. Do you know any sisters that are so alike? I, myself, am one of three sisters, and we’re all so very different. So strange to think that we’re from the same parents and grew up in the same house!
But, when I take myself back to thinking how different my sisters and I are (I’ll spare all the details for both of my sister’s sake), I think about my mom. And, I know she sees a part of herself in each of us, amongst all our differences. So, I’m over zealous with curiosity to find out what type of temperament and personality my littlest girl will grow to have.
You see, Sarah, my three-year old is a lot like me when I was her age. At least that’s what my older relatives tell me. She is extraverted, super curious, crazy about animals and can eat like an ox! But, it is inevitable that my two girls will be so different.
According to the famous anthropologist Margaret Mead, humans fall into one of five temperaments. Isn’t it amazing to think that we really don’t have any control over who we are going to start off as?
I wonder, will my daughter-on-the-way be shy like my husband was as a child? Will she prefer princesses over puppy dogs? Will she be a picky eater (once again, like my husband!)? Will she be more of a homebody, unlike Sarah, who everyday is ready to head out the door and go someplace? Will she be a better sleeper than Sarah was as a baby and toddler (I really hope so!)?
If she’s not like me, will I be sensitive enough to her needs?
I love my little bellowing bundle of belly kicks growing inside of me so much already. I can’t wait to try to figure her out! (or, at least attempt!)
But, even my sisters and I are still trying to figure one another out. Like normal sisters, we have our moments of driving each other crazy, disagreements and strife. But, we have even more moments of really good times and memories. And, even when friends come and go over time, my sisters are always there.
Which brings me to another thing I wonder about…
Will my daughters grow up and get along? I daydream about them being close confidants, partners in crime, sharing the good news of their lives and helping each other through the more challenging aspects of life. Most importantly, though, I hope they continue to be close friends when I am no longer around to be there for them.
But, the reality is that they may or may not have a close type of relationship throughout their lives. Either way, I know I will always love them both sooooo much. No matter what.
And, if their difference in temperament means that they each need me in different ways, then I will do my best to support them and help them be who they are. Wish me luck though when they hit their early teens…I’ll need it!
Do you agree or disagree that sisters are different? What are your experiences with having a sister or raising sisters?
This is an original World Moms Blog post by Veronica Samuels. Veronica can be found on her Facebook Page, on Twitter @VeronicaSamuels and contributing to Jersey Moms Blog.
Photo credit to http://www.flickr.com/photos/gracesfam/1469417640/. This photo has a creative commons attribution license.
Veronica, congratulations! I am so very excited for you! Having one girl after the other Ic an tell you this much: There is *nothing* like seeing that sister relationship develop! And yes, my girls are as different as they can be from each other but are, for sure, the best of friends! Hooray for your family of FOUR!! XO
I don’t have a sister, and I have one son and one daughter, so I have no experience in the world of sisterhood. However, I also worried about how my children would get along when I was pregnant with my son, and I hoped they would be friends. My daughter adored her little brother when he was first born, and now that he’s two, they actually play super nicely together. I’m certain the same will be true for your girls. Congratulations!
I have two younger sisters and three sons and yes, we’re all different, and yes, they’re all different. Our older boys are great together (most of the time) but are they close…I just don’t know. I do know they both adore the toddler Butterfly.
I found our Owl, who was intensely dependent on me for four years, very hard going to begin with, yet he is ‘abnormally’ easy now. The more outgoing Hare was easy in the beginning and then not so easy as a toddler and small boy. Temperament does matter, but it’s only a starting point – and in the end, I’ve decided, our kids have made me who I am today because they’ve pushed me out of my comfort zone: constantly. Have fun with your girls, ’cause they *will* have fun with you! 😉
Being a mother of three adult girls,I can definitely say each is an individual, but the one true tie is sisterhood. The one thing I have tried to instill in them is when the time comes when I am not around their love for each other will be stronger and they will be there for each other thru thick and thin. Until that time comes I will help, suggest, give my opinion (although not necessarily taken) and support their decisions and love every moment that I can be a part of their life and their family.
I have a brother. No sisters here. And I have one son and for now I feel I am done. So, personally I cannot comment on it. But I have very good relationships with my cousins. We are all so different from each other, believe in very opposite things, and still love each other fiercely. I know we are there for each other. And when it is like that with just ‘cousin’ sisters I can only imagine how it would be like with ‘real’ sisters.
And congratulations once again.
Congratulations Veronica on the birth of your second girl! As our little girl is now almost 1 1/2 and big girl is 3, it has been fascinating to see the similarities and the differences. They are VERY different although little girl wants to be and do everything her sister does. I, too, dream that they will be close all their lives.
Congratulations Veronica! I have 3 sisters and 1 brother, and now I am raising 2 sons. While I have boys, alot of what you talk about here has entered my own thoughts. As for growing up with 3 sisters, also like you, we are all different in many ways, yet with this common thread that clearly binds us. It is a mindblowing dynamic. I wish you all the best on your adventure with your girls!