Once I became pregnant with my second child, I had several mothers tell me “Don’t be afraid that you won’t love another like your first. You will!” Because the topic came up so often, I felt that I was an oddball to not be worried about this. I feel like I have a lot of love in my heart, and I couldn’t wait to give it!
No, I had my mind on other things. When I found out that I was having a second daughter, I became caught up in daydreams wondering how she would be so different from my older daughter and who she would be.
So, I often found myself feeling like I was turning pages until I found the answer in a book, but only the pages were days and the book is life. And….I’ve got to learn to be patient.
But, let’s face it. Do you know any sisters that are so alike? I, myself, am one of three sisters, and we’re all so very different. So strange to think that we’re from the same parents and grew up in the same house!
But, when I take myself back to thinking how different my sisters and I are (I’ll spare all the details for both of my sister’s sake), I think about my mom. And, I know she sees a part of herself in each of us, amongst all our differences. So, I’m over zealous with curiosity to find out what type of temperament and personality my littlest girl will grow to have.
You see, Sarah, my three-year old is a lot like me when I was her age. At least that’s what my older relatives tell me. She is extraverted, super curious, crazy about animals and can eat like an ox! But, it is inevitable that my two girls will be so different.
According to the famous anthropologist Margaret Mead, humans fall into one of five temperaments. Isn’t it amazing to think that we really don’t have any control over who we are going to start off as?
I wonder, will my daughter-on-the-way be shy like my husband was as a child? Will she prefer princesses over puppy dogs? Will she be a picky eater (once again, like my husband!)? Will she be more of a homebody, unlike Sarah, who everyday is ready to head out the door and go someplace? Will she be a better sleeper than Sarah was as a baby and toddler (I really hope so!)?
If she’s not like me, will I be sensitive enough to her needs?
I love my little bellowing bundle of belly kicks growing inside of me so much already. I can’t wait to try to figure her out! (or, at least attempt!)
But, even my sisters and I are still trying to figure one another out. Like normal sisters, we have our moments of driving each other crazy, disagreements and strife. But, we have even more moments of really good times and memories. And, even when friends come and go over time, my sisters are always there.
Which brings me to another thing I wonder about…
Will my daughters grow up and get along? I daydream about them being close confidants, partners in crime, sharing the good news of their lives and helping each other through the more challenging aspects of life. Most importantly, though, I hope they continue to be close friends when I am no longer around to be there for them.
But, the reality is that they may or may not have a close type of relationship throughout their lives. Either way, I know I will always love them both sooooo much. No matter what.
And, if their difference in temperament means that they each need me in different ways, then I will do my best to support them and help them be who they are. Wish me luck though when they hit their early teens…I’ll need it!
Do you agree or disagree that sisters are different? What are your experiences with having a sister or raising sisters?
Photo credit to http://www.flickr.com/photos/gracesfam/1469417640/. This photo has a creative commons attribution license.