Do you remember how you felt on your first day of school or when you started a new job? When you didn’t know anyone, when there were new things to learn, and you were still finding your way around a new place?
You were probably uncomfortable because you weren’t totally sure of people’s expectations, and maybe you were hoping like crazy that people would like you and make you feel welcome.
As mothers we’ve all experienced one of these scary moments, both through our own experiences, as well as, those of us who have watched our children go through the first day jitters as well.
Combined with all of that was the hope that you (or they) wouldn’t mess up, and also that they would be able to take on the new challenges and combat the fear that accompanies them.
That’s pretty much how I feel today, my first post for World Moms Blog. My first challenge was discovering that I would have to post in WordPress, where the blog is hosted, as I’m a Blogger girl at heart. So, this raised the ol’ stress levels slightly. Learning new things is always an uncomfortable feeling, especially when you’re set in the way you do things.
Taking on new challenges and facing our fears is what life is all about, so of course, here I am, and obviously, if you’re reading this then I haven’t messed up too badly, yet. I’m relatively new to blogging and have only been blogging at my own site for about 9 months, but writing is in my heart and soul and has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.
Motherhood is what makes me get up each day and continue to take on new challenges; it’s as much for me as it is for my children.
As a mother, every day is filled with new challenges and while some are fun and exciting there are some which are just down right scary. The fact is when you’re faced with a challenge as a mother, you can’t turn and run away, you have to stand up and face your fears because you’re doing it for your child.
I used to think that sleepless nights and babies were the biggest challenges that life had to throw at me. That was until I had teenagers in the house and I realised that toddlers and babies were a walk in the park.
I apologise to any of you who’re still currently at the baby / toddler stage. I had angelic babies (okay, so my memories are a little dim) but they were babies who slept well and ate hugely. Then they grew into teenagers, and the stress I missed from the baby years was doubled.
Three teenage boys under one roof leads to a lot of testosterone and changing moods in one small place and then when you throw dad into the mix, I’m always out numbered. My solution has always been to talk, I don’t talk down, I don’t talk to, but I talk with my boys. It doesn’t always work but on more occasions than not, it does.
In reality it’s no more than what I expect from my boss or a co-worker, a chance to speak and be heard. That’s not to say that as a family that we agree all of the time, but it’s nice to know that we can listen and respect each others’ opinions. Well, at least that’s what I’m trying to teach the sometimes savage beasts that dwell in my home.
As a mother it doesn’t matter how old my kids get, I still have days when I feel as helpless and as out of my depth as I did when I first brought my oldest son home from the hospital.
When faced with new challenges, whether it’s joining WMB, becoming a mother or dealing with teenagers I turn to my security blanket, which is information. I read, anything and everything relevant to the challenge that I am faced with. I take in all of the information (the good and the bad) and then I use what works best for me, my family and my children. It’s never a case of right or wrong information – it’s simply what works best for us.
To me, that’s what being a mum is all about, discovering what works best and not doing something just because it’s necessarily what’s expected or trendy.
Were I to start motherhood over again, there is a manual that I would write for myself that would outline the challenges involved in being a mother. The key points in this manual would be:
- As a mother you’ll mess up, a lot.
- Just when you’ve figured out the answers to being a good mum, the questions will change.
- You will discover that you have the strength to take on anything or anyone to protect your child from harm.
- You’ll have days when everything seems to go wrong.
- You’ll feel like some days all you do is cry.
- The day following a crying bout you’ll be so proud of your child that you’ll feel like your heart is going to explode with pride.
- You’ll often feel like you’re the only person who has ever been a mother and got it so wrong.
- Just when you think that you will go crazy from lack of sleep, you’ll still find the energy to stay up until the early hours of the morning to ice a birthday cake, make a costume or finish a school project.
- No matter how old your children are, they’ll still be your babies.
I would love to hear your experiences on facing new challenges and overcoming your fears as a mother, and of course, a little bit of ‘welcome to the family’ would be greatly appreciated. After all, it’s you guys who will let me know whether I’m getting it right at WMB or not, and hopefully we can discover, learn and grow together.
This is an original World Moms Blog post by Inspiration to Dream of Adelaide, South Australia. Fiona is the writer of Inspiration to Dream and can be found writing or reading in every spare moment that isn’t filled up with work and her three boys, and of course with a bit of spare time thrown in for hubby as well.
Image credit to Scott Chan.
This image has been used within the terms of use from Free Digital Photos
Fiona, that was a great post. Welcome to WMB, ofcourse 🙂
Right now, one young boy is more than a houseful and ‘parentful’. I dont want to imagine what the teenage years would be like 😀
Welcome Fiona! Great first post, really enjoyed reading it. I love the manual, I always think it is good to hear that I am not the only mother who sometimes struggle and find things difficult – It was so true what you said about some days you cry and then the next day you are so proud! My emotions are on a rollercoaster right now – and they seem to be very much related to how much sleep I get 🙂
Hi from me too. 🙂
I’m a Mum to three boys (9, almost 6 and 19 months) and, yes, testosterone certainly has a lot to answer for at our house too. My challenge at the moment is that of re-discovery. I had a career, have had almost 10 years at home being a Mum…now the cross-roads. I shall have to take your advice and find all the information I can.:)
I loved your post. You are absolutely right about starting out in a new place or situation. I have butterflies in my stomach and always the expect the worst to happen (thought I hope it doesn’t).
Right now I am in the toddler stage, with a kid who refuses to eat unless he gets tp see ads on TV (weird, isn’t it?). Everyday I wish he were bigger so that he can take care of his own things. And now you tell me it gets worse as they grow older ???
Butterflies ewgh! Is there a name for a whole flock of butterflies the size of birds, that’s what mine are some days. Enjoy your son while he’s young – for all the frustration that toddlers sometimes bring and the days you wish that they were more independent. I look back now and know that those were the formative years. I know what I taught my kids then and the time I spent with them will eventually bring them out the other end as decent human beings.
I have to believe that even when things are really tough.
Welcome to WMB! I enjoyed your post and wsnt to comment more, but right now I am on a trip to visit family with my 5 & 2 year old boys…. on my own, all of us sick with bad colds, and 3000 miles away from our home & my husband, so I am experiencing many items on your bullet point list 😉 it’s worth the effort for them to see grandparents, but this has been way more of a challenge than anticipated. Thx for your well timed post!
Welcome Fiona!
I love the perspective you bring to the blog from having older children! And, I will definitely be referencing your checklist…!
Congratulations on your first World Moms Blog post! 🙂
Veronica Samuels 🙂
Welcome to the family! It is so nice to get perspective from a mum with older children. I have two girls – 3 & 1 and I do know it is going to get harder but in a way very different than today. I look forward to reading more of your post.
Great post, welcome!! I’m in preschool stage with my one son and wishing to add to the brood . . . through all of my struggles to have another child I have certainly learned to appreciate what I do have in life and that is each day home with my little guy. I remind myself every day to cherish the time and look to older nephews and nieces to see that as they grow the struggles don’t go away . . they just change!! I’m looking forward reading your posts from “down under”! 🙂
Great post Fiona – and welcome! I loved hearing about your perspective as a mum of older kids and the manual points really hit home. Though my kids are just 3, I am pretty sure that the teenage years will be challenging in our house…Looking forward to hearing about (and learning from) your experiences. It’s also great to have another writer in this part of the world!
Thank you all for the welcome. I look forward to hearing all of your stories and sharing those of my own family.
I only wish that a place like World Moms Blog existed when my children were young, its a wonderful place to share and learn.
Enjoyed your post! I’m still in that great stage with only a 5 1/2 month old 🙂 I already understand the change part though. I have my baby on a great schedule that works but need to change it by introducing solid foods. I’m sure you wish you were fighting that easy challenge! 3 teenage boys sounds like a handful. My mom raised 5 boys! So just think… there’s always someone out there who has it worse 🙂
Welcome Fiona! I really enjoyed your post…so much of it resonated with me. While my girls are still young (4 yo and almost 1 yo) I have gotten glimpses of what my oldest might be like as a teen and I am dreading the drama! Looking forward to more insight from your posts since you are a little farther down the road we are all traveling on. Thanks for sharing!
I appreciate the perspective about living with your teenagers. My years of experience caring for other people’s children and teens gave me certain insights. Having a toddler brings with it new insights as well. One thing that stands out is that life brings a person what he thinks or talks about. If you fear the worst, you invite reasons to feel that way. As you do the best you can where you are with a positive outlook and an open heart, everything falls into place in ways you feel good about.
Hi Liara,
I’ve only just seen the comment that you made on my post on World Moms Blogs. I believe what you say is so true about life bringing a person what he or she thinks about – which is why we all need to focus on the positive. Thank you for your feedback.
Cheers, Fiona