MINNESOTA, USA: Your Compliments Might Be Damaging Their Self Esteem

Kayli and I sit side by side at our kitchen table.

Her hair glistens auburn and I think, You’re so pretty.

She cracks a clever joke and I respond, You’re so funny.

She completes her assignment and I smile, You’re so smart.

On the surface these are words of love meant to hold her close. But digging a little bit deeper and thinking a titch more long-term, these are impossibly high standards that no one –no one– can live up to.

I learned this lesson in college when I studied how efficiently words mold.

I learned it again in graduate school when I read everything that I could get my eyes on about self-esteem.

I learned it yet again as a teacher when I took courses about building student confidence.

And I forgot it all once I became a mother. (more…)

Galit Breen (USA)

Once upon a time Galit Breen was a TRAVELER. She met amazing people and ate delicious food. And all was well with the world. And then, she started her real life. She became a STUDENT earning a BS in Human Development and an MA in Education. She became a classroom and reading TEACHER. She met a man on the internet (when it was gasp-worthy and new) and became his WIFE. She became a MINNESOTAN shortly after that, and he still owes her one for that. But the biggest earthquake shake to her soul was becoming a MOM. The interrupted sleep. The crying. The diapers. The lack of sleep. Did she mention the lack of sleep? But there was also the attachment, the touch, the bungee cords to her heart. Sigh. So today her labels are woven together. Tightly. A wife of one! A Mama of three! And a brand new puggle owner! Of one, people. Just one new puppy, thankyouverymuch. To keep her grounded and to add to the lack of lack of sleep factor, she writes. She writes about Motherhood. Parenting. Spirituality. Feminism. Education. Books. Writing. Balance. And Chocolate. Her writing is sometimes sarcastic, sometimes heart-warming and always transparent. Galit is a columnist at TC Jewfolk and has been published in places such as Jewesses With Attitude, Kveller and Scary Mommy. She is honored to connect with you here, at World Mom’s Blog. Galit can be reached by E-mail galitbreen@gmail.com or Twitter @galitbreen.  And don’t forget to check out her personal blog, These Little Waves!

More Posts