Where else would I start? I’m talking about the beginning of motherhood – the day my daughter was born is the date I’m going to use for myself. Certainly, many people would say a woman becomes a mother from the moment she conceives for the very first time, and I’m not going to refute or debate that.
I definitely bonded with my baby while she was in my belly, but in the interest of keeping things simple, I began this thing called motherhood on June 7, 2009, just about 22-months ago.
Our daughter arrived on her due date – right on time. I was working from home that week on account of it being hot and humid and not being able to rely on the good graces or [un]common courtesy of Metro riders in Washington, DC to give up their seat to a VERY pregnant lady. In addition to the hazards of commuting, the hazards of sitting at my desk had just gotten to be too much and so it made sense to really take it easy at Week 40.
On Friday night, my husband and I went out for a walk and headed to Dupont Circle (via Metro) where they were giving away free doughnuts at the Krispy Kreme in honor of National Doughnut Day (observed on the first Friday of June). We had just made it to the end of the block, and I told him I thought I needed to go to the bathroom — that, or I had just had an accident, but I was okay and could make it to Krispy Kreme.
This was about 10 PM on Friday night. I had a similar feeling the next morning when we went to grab breakfast near the house. I texted my sister something to the effect of “I keep peeing myself”, and she said I might want to call my doctor. But first, I wanted to finish my bagel and coffee. My hospital bag was packed, so I had time to have my bagel.
You’ll note, and I’ll confess, that doughnuts, bagels, and coffee…all took priority over finding out whether or not I was in labor.
We came back to the house, and I called my OB’s office and let the doctor on-call know what the situation was. He said we should go to the hospital. So, we got our things ready and my husband had a moment — it was hitting him then that we were actually going to have a baby and that this was really going to happen.
It was cool to see the excitement and nervousness, but I told him we were probably going to be sent home. This is not how your water breaks. We put everything in the car anyway just in case.
We arrived at the hospital and instead of going to the ER, the doctor had told us that I would be admitted in case I actually was in labor.
And then, I had my moment. We were filling out the forms and I got my little hospital bracelet — and then it hit me — that maybe I was going to have a baby that day.
We walked to one of the labor & delivery rooms and waited for the house OB to examine me. She said, “Oh yes, you’re grossly ruptured.” And I thought, why does she have to be so judgmental – really, “grossly”… is that necessary? I’ll probably get the timing and sequence off — and will leave out some details — but I will say that June 6, 2009 was one of the happiest and most exciting days of my life. As we waited — well, others waited, I was breaking my back — for our baby to arrive.
My labor was long — almost 20 hours total — I didn’t get my epidural until I was about 6.5 cm dilated, fully effaced and had been on pitocin for probably 6 or 7 hours. I pushed for 3 hours and ended up having a C-section. But that’s not what I want to talk about — I want to talk about is the good stuff.
Like the fact that my daughter had no less than 10 family members in addition to me and my husband waiting for her. But even before I say that, my sister and husband were with me the entire time I was contracting and they were amazing. Then, when it came time to push, my sister took that as her cue to make a bee-line for the door — “That’s it, I’m outta here. See ya later.”
And so, my husband and the nurses and the doctors worked with me and coached me and did whatever they could to help me push, but it just wasn’t going to happen that way. We went to the OR around 4:30 AM on Sunday. I heard all sorts of chit-chat during the procedure — the anesthesiologist really liked our camera, and I’m sure there was some talk of sports, vacations, and/or private schools.
I also recall hearing things like “oh no”, “that’s unusual” “my hand doesn’t fit — yours is smaller can you get in there” all the kinds of things you want to hear while your arms are strapped down and your abdomen is cut open with a little person inside. My husband had the added benefit of seeing the shadows beyond the drape … and watching my body move from the pressure and pushing and pulling that was going on.
Then, she was out at 5:10. “It’s a girl. It’s a girl.”
And in my drug-and fatigue-induced stupor, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to live this down — I say, “It’s a girl? Really?? It’s a GIRL? Are you sure?…oh my God, she had everyone fooled…oh my poor mom.”
Seriously. These are the words I said. My husband will confirm it, and I can’t deny it. My “poor mom” SO wanted to have a grandson — she already had 4 granddaughters, and all that blue bedding she had sewn — another girl — so, of course, I thought of my “poor” mom.
My husband “knew” it was a girl all along, and he was rather embarrassed at my display in the OR. I remember him trying to get me to shut up. To be clear, I wasn’t disappointed.
I wanted a girl, but I thought I was having a boy based on all sorts of old wives’ tales — and so I was very pleasantly surprised when She was born.
After I got over my initial shock, I remember just wanting to hear her cry. And ,she did, and that moment I felt like it was the best sound in the world.
They took me back to the labor & delivery room where our daughter met all four of her grandparents, two aunts, and an uncle. She also met my three nieces who had camped out in the waiting room for the last 12 hours — I think they were exhausted to say the least, but also a little bit in awe to see that now their aunt had a baby girl of her own.
So, that was the very beginning for me/us and it makes me smile to think about it…and to think about today and wonder about the future and the many ways my daughter is going to shock and surprise me in the years to come. I can only hope that I’ll handle myself a bit more gracefully than I did the moment she was born. But that probably won’t make for as fun of a story…
What would you like to share about the first time you gave birth or the very first moment you met your baby? What is your fondest or funniest memory of that day?
This is an original post for World Moms Blog by DC Blogmama of Washington, DC. You can follow her on Twitter @dcblogmama or read her blog at amillionblogs.wordpress.com.
This photo is courtesy of DC Blogmama.
I love that you were more interested in coffee and food than being in labour – it is a surreal experience isn’t it?! This is a fun story and it’s great that your family was there to support you. My eldest son apparently shot out of me like a bullet out of a gun…on account of being tiny. Craig and I sat on the side of the bed and just stared at him for ages the first night, we couldn’t believe this small person was finally here and ours.
It’s pretty amazing. I thought my daughter would slip right out but clearly she had other ideas. Pretty strong-willed from 0:01.
It is pretty amazing. I thought my daughter would slip right out but clearly she had other ideas. Doing it her way since 0:01. : )
Girls! I often wondered what it would be like to have lots of pinks and mauves to hang on the clothesline. Both my brother and I have boys, no girls for 4 generations in our family. Surprisingly my grandchild due in 14 weeks is, believe it or not,a boy.
I love that your daughter was considerate and arrived on her due date and allowed time for you to get your coffee and doughnut fix first.
Thanks for sharing your story, it brings all of the memories back.
All those boys — do you want to adopt my mom? She would be in heaven!
It does bring back memories – it feels like such a long time ago, allthough it is only 14 months ago… When my water broke there was no doubt what was happening, went to the hospital but was sent straight home again to wait. When the wee lad did arrive I remember being so cold and shaking that I didn’t dare to hold as I was worried I would drop him, him so it was my husband who got the first minutes with him (well, after he had been taken away to be checked and cleaned etc). It was all very surreal 🙂
Yup – her dad got to hold her before me. And she was certainly passed around a lot in the first 2 hours. I love looking at the pictures from that morning. Speaking of cold — I LOVED the heated blankets they gave me during delivery – that might have been the best part…or a close second. 😉
★★★★★
thanks!
Great story – thank you for sharing it with us. We have two girls and I was really, really hoping our second would be a boy. When little girl was born, I had a similar reaction. I think I just sighed with disappointment. But I love her a ton all the same. I often worry that IF we decide to have a third, I will end up with yet another girl.
my sister has 3 daughters and i can think of three other moms with all 3 girls. and my sister-in-law is one of 4 girls. you’d be in great company if you have littlest girl!!
Great story – thank you for sharing it with us. We have two girls and I was really, really hoping our second would be a boy. When little girl was born, I had a similar reaction. I think I just sighed with disappointment. But I love her a ton all the same. I often worry that IF we decide to have a third, I will end up with yet another girl.
Great story! I wish my baby had come on her due date as 10/10/10 would have been an awesome birthday. However, we had to take her out by force 5 days late. I blogged about my story not to long after she was born: http://momintraining13.wordpress.com/2010/10/22/welcoming-sophia/
i read your post on sophia’s arrival. every story is unique and magical. happy early 1/2 birthday to your little girl!
Great story! I wish my baby had come on her due date as 10/10/10 would have been an awesome birthday. However, we had to take her out by force 5 days late. I blogged about my story not to long after she was born: http://momintraining13.wordpress.com/2010/10/22/welcoming-sophia/
Thanks for sharing, here too a boy would have been more exotic for my family but I am so glad I have a girl, I know how girls work lol ! I had to have a last minute planned c section, not fun nevertheless I have in mind many extraordinary moments from that day which mean the world to me. One of them is as I was being rolled out from the recovery room. I was on one of those wheely beds, I could only see the ceiling still dazed and then I heard my husband softly singing to our daughter, two hours old, in the hospital corridor… it was the 01 01 10 😉 PS: I admire your calm on your due date !
my sentiments exactly re “how girls work”! so sweet about your husband singing to your daughter — the father-daughter love fest is something i can also relate to.
What a great story – it brought tears to my eyes, esp since it brought back my own memories. my first child is a boy, and we found out ahead of time. My mom was with me for the ultra sound, and when the technician announced that the little gremlin inside of me was a boy my mother was the one who said “are you sure? what am I supposed to do with a boy?” (coming from having raised 2 daughters of her own). It was a funny moment… and not only has she learned – she absolutely adores her grandson!
Both my son and daughter decided to come earlier than the scheduled c-sections, and like you, I was pretty calm leading up to going to the hospital, while I was in labor, while my husband and parents were in frantic mode all the way there! 🙂
thank you! i’m not sure i would have known what to do with a baby boy either. maybe start with buying some sort of protective gear for myself to use during diaper changes. i’d like to think my daughter has won over my parents too. she’s the first grand-daughter on my husband’s side so they were all over the moon.
What a great story – it brought tears to my eyes, esp since it brought back my own memories. my first child is a boy, and we found out ahead of time. My mom was with me for the ultra sound, and when the technician announced that the little gremlin inside of me was a boy my mother was the one who said “are you sure? what am I supposed to do with a boy?” (coming from having raised 2 daughters of her own). It was a funny moment… and not only has she learned – she absolutely adores her grandson!
Both my son and daughter decided to come earlier than the scheduled c-sections, and like you, I was pretty calm leading up to going to the hospital, while I was in labor, while my husband and parents were in frantic mode all the way there! 🙂
thank you! i’m not sure i would have known what to do with a baby boy either. maybe start with buying some sort of protective gear for myself to use during diaper changes. i’d like to think my daughter has won over my parents too. she’s the first grand-daughter on my husband’s side so they were all over the moon.
I’ve never been overly sentimental about birth stories but after reading yours and then a number of the comments, it really made me take pause and think back to both of my childrens’ births. With our first, I initially wanted twins (which run on my husbands side) since I thought that would be a great way to have “two and through.” When we found out it was a singlet, I prayed for a girl. I went to an all-girls school and very publicly want my daughter to as well. When the baby was born and they told me it was a girl, I was ecstatic. Ironically, 5 years later, it is my two year-old son that I feel closer to. He is calmer, sweeter and a lot less sassy! Whether you someday give birth to a boy or your daughter(s) get married, inevitably there will be a son in your future.
DC Blogmama,
I expected to have a daughter since I was a little girl. I think it was because I was one of three girls, so it was all I really knew! But, when it came time to find out what we were having when I was pregnant with my first, I could picture myself with a boy or a girl. I cried (tears of joy!) when I found out it was a girl. But….if you know me, I would have most likely cried those same tears of joy if it was a boy, too!
I think it’s part of your destiny being unveiled to you that was so emotional for me. I started daydreaming about me and my daughter from that day on. And, when I found out what I was having the second time around, another girl, it was the same, tears of joy. For me, it didn’t matter whether it was a boy or a girl, it was the excitement of watching life unfold that was powerful.
Thank you for sharing your story!
As for my births — my first daughter looked me straight in the eye when I first met her, and it just melted my heart. She just stared and stared. Whether she could actually see me or not, I have no idea because they’re not supposed to be able to yet, but it was very emotional for me. My second daughter did the same shortly after her birth, too. Those initial moments with both girls are ones I will never forget!
Congratulations on your first post!
Veronica Samuels 🙂
DC Blogmama,
I expected to have a daughter since I was a little girl. I think it was because I was one of three girls, so it was all I really knew! But, when it came time to find out what we were having when I was pregnant with my first, I could picture myself with a boy or a girl. I cried (tears of joy!) when I found out it was a girl. But….if you know me, I would have most likely cried those same tears of joy if it was a boy, too!
I think it’s part of your destiny being unveiled to you that was so emotional for me. I started daydreaming about me and my daughter from that day on. And, when I found out what I was having the second time around, another girl, it was the same, tears of joy. For me, it didn’t matter whether it was a boy or a girl, it was the excitement of watching life unfold that was powerful.
Thank you for sharing your story!
As for my births — my first daughter looked me straight in the eye when I first met her, and it just melted my heart. She just stared and stared. Whether she could actually see me or not, I have no idea because they’re not supposed to be able to yet, but it was very emotional for me. My second daughter did the same shortly after her birth, too. Those initial moments with both girls are ones I will never forget!
Congratulations on your first post!
Veronica Samuels 🙂
I love reading birth stories…and this was timely since my baby just turned one – love reflecting on the birth on birthdays 🙂 Thanks for sharing your story!