I am generally patient to a fault and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I reflect on myself and my actions all the time, sort of like being in a constant state of therapy. I am also a very sensitive person, and I take most things personally.
I do not like to let people down at all and that feeling of someone being dissapointed in me, really is hard for me.
Once I had my children, it was very easy for me to draw the line with other people when it concerned my children. My children are always my top priority. They are the reason for all that my husband and I do. My husband and I both come from divorced families and have dealt with some big issues early in life.
We both wanted something different for our children and our family. I think this was one of the things that really drew us together. It is very healing for both of us to have a stable, loving, peaceful home. We are a team and we always let our children know that we are on the same side and will always be here for them.
Ok, so I digressed.
What I was getting at was when it comes to my kids is that they are the ones I will not dissapoint. They are the ones who I care for the most and who I will always protect and love. This has helped me say, “No” to other people.
It has made me realize that saying no does not mean I have to have a conflict with someone. I can’t be everything to everyone, so prioritizing thing for my family 1st has had a ripple effect on my views.
I have been better able to say “no” and not worry about it or feel guilty. This is big for me, and I am happy with where I am right now.
I have always been a believer in karma. I think that it is important to put out positivity and that it will have a cumulative effect.
Some people actively “pay it forward,” as this seems to be a popular trend over the last several years. I think it is great! Again, I digress.
My point in bringing this up is that I have dealt with some very negative people recently. I have been hurt by them, but instead of following my old ways of feeling bad, carrying it with me and not letting it go, I did something different.
I did feel sad at first, but then I let it go. I decided I didn’t want to give these people anymore of my time. They didn’t deserve it. They didn’t get to take my time and thoughts away from my children.
It was freeing.
As long as I did just as they wanted, things were fine. But, as soon as I needed something, they weren’t happy. I do not want people like that in my life, nor will I put any value in what they have to say about me.
The only reason they said anything negative was because they were trying to take away the other child that I watch. I stopped watching their son with a 6 week notice. Eventually, the mom decided to stay home with their son and in the process, tried to convince the parents of the other child I watch, to go with her. Sneaky, isn’t it?
What was told to me was that she bad-mouthed me, trying to persuade them. When I heard what they did, I called the mom of the child I still watch and said that I didn’t want her in the middle at all. If she wanted to keep the kids together, I would have no hard feelings.
There was no negativity on my behalf. This family chose to stay with me, which did make me feel good, I will admit.
Some may find it hard to believe, but I wish these people well and am glad that this little boy will have some more time with his mom. I hope that they reflect on what happened, so they can grow and learn from the whole experience. That’s what we are here to do, right?
We all have our own journey, our own path to follow.
I chose to stop the negativity. In my mind, they didn’t get away with anything because they have to live with their actions. Whether they recognize it or not, they live with the negativity they put out in the world.
I have seen the effects of their negativity already, as they have lost some friends since I have known them because of their behavior. Until they realize this, their cycle will not change.
But, I don’t own their problem and I am free from them.
What I have gotten from all of this is that I can choose how I respond. I don’t have to stoop to being negative, when that’s not who I am or want to be. It also doesn’t mean that I let them walk on me.
I was always honest, fair and myself. I am truly at peace with things, and I feel like I have grown as a person, which is why I am sharing. Maturity and wisdom are pretty fantastic!!
Have you used positivity to deal with a rather negative situation before? How did it make you feel?
This is an original World Moms Blog post by Maggie Ellison of South Carolina, USA. Maggie can be found crafting with her children at home or playing on the beach with them in the low country of South Carolina, USA.
Photo credit to Cia Gould. This photo has a creative commons attributions license.