Once, when our son was 2 ½ or so, we were having lunch at a “self-service” – a widespread type of restaurant here in Brazil where you serve yourself and pay according to how much your plate weighs. To this day I recall what was on his plate: the common Brazilian rice-and-beans duo, mashed potatoes, corn, a slice of pineapple, and an assortment of leaves and veggies.
Shortly after we started eating, a little girl sat down with her mother at the table to our right. They each had a dish with a large slice of chocolate pie covered with whipped cream. It didn’t take long for the girl – who seemed to be slightly younger than my son – to notice him and his colorful plate.
“Mommy, I want what he has.”
“Eat your snack,” her mother responded.
The little girl stared at her plate, and then at my son’s. “Mommy, I want what he has.”
“Daughter, you have chocolate pie!”, her mother said impatiently.
Soon the girl started crying. My son (that dreamy kind of kid) remained oblivious to the scene. The mother ate her pie hastily – and then her daughter’s – and whisked the wailing girl away.
When I eat out with my son, we often get wide-eyed stares at his plate. They ask, “How do you get him to eat vegetables/fruit?” I also respond, “I like to eat vegetables/fruit myself.” The person will often sigh and say, “My son/daughter hates eating vegetables/fruit.”
Depending on how eager the person seems in getting the child to eat more fruits and veggies, I ask: “Do you eat fruit/veggies?”, and the person will usually say something like: “I eat some salad at lunch” or “I have fruit juice in the morning.” Then (again, depending on how interested the person really seems – I don’t want to be intrusive!) I ask the fatal question: “But do you really like fruit/veggies, or do you just throw some on the plate to say you did so?”
Sometimes the person will firmly state that she (it is almost always the mother) truly loves to eat fruits and vegetables. However, more often than not I will get… a sheepish smile.
I know that eating issues are extremely complex, and several factors can be involved. Nevertheless, I do believe a parent’s example is a huge influence.
Persistence also counts. Sometimes kids just have to be offered certain foods over and over to acquire a taste for them (it took me 25 years to start liking sugarcane juice!). And when that doesn’t work, not offering the hated food might do the job.
I remember my son hated watermelon. When he was three, I started a high-raw vegetarian diet, and a few months later I was on a predominantly fruit-based diet. I began my day by cutting a watermelon in half, sitting in the hammock, and scooping out the flesh with a spoon until I was full. I never offered any to my son. It didn’t take long before he started to hop into the hammock with his own spoon. It became a daily ritual. We would eat, talk, and contemplate all of the interesting stuff that happens in the piece of forest that starts where our terrace ends.
On the other hand, when I got pregnant for the second time (a pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage and changed my eating habits all over again), I couldn’t stand the green smoothies that were also part of our daily diet, and soon my son didn’t want any either.
Now that our baby daughter is beginning to eat foods other than breastmilk, I am once again evaluating my diet and trying to come to terms with what is the best way I can eat in order to set a good example for my children. I confess it has not been easy, but that is a story for another day.
Overall I believe that leading by example, and not forcing the issue, will often lead our children to start mirroring our own healthy eating habits.
How do you encourage your children to eat healthy, even when they might not want to?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Eco Ziva of Brazil.
Photo credit to the author.
You’re so right! Parents *do* set the stage for habits of all kinds and kids are really smart about knowing if it’s a “do as I say” rather than “do as I do” sort of thing. That said, however, I think when my oldest child was a baby–a preemie born at a ridiculously small weight–I wanted him to eat so badly b/c I wanted him to gain weight that I let him avoid foods he didn’t like and those habits have continued. So even though I really DO like veggies and fruits and cheese, my son adamantly refuses all those things (and now he’s eleven). His diet is my biggest mommy FAIL. I tell myself that if I just keep putting the food on the table and he sees me eating it that eventually (like when he’s forty?) he will consent to put a grape in his mouth.
You’re so right! Parents *do* set the stage for habits of all kinds and kids are really smart about knowing if it’s a “do as I say” rather than “do as I do” sort of thing. That said, however, I think when my oldest child was a baby–a preemie born at a ridiculously small weight–I wanted him to eat so badly b/c I wanted him to gain weight that I let him avoid foods he didn’t like and those habits have continued. So even though I really DO like veggies and fruits and cheese, my son adamantly refuses all those things (and now he’s eleven). His diet is my biggest mommy FAIL. I tell myself that if I just keep putting the food on the table and he sees me eating it that eventually (like when he’s forty?) he will consent to put a grape in his mouth.
Well said. I am also a firm believer in leading by example and teaching my child to enjoy a healthy diet. Honestly, most of my friends hate that he eats fruits and veggies and ‘adult’ meals. I do have to fight against the influences he picks up at school — kids with a never-ending supply of candy and processed cookies and chips, but we don’t do that at home.
There are some foods he doesn’t like, of course. I am a believer in sneaking/mixing it in so he becomes used to the flavor & texture. (eg: cut the peppers up tiny and put in fajitas instead of big scary strips). It has worked for me, and now for him.
Cheers!
Well said. I am also a firm believer in leading by example and teaching my child to enjoy a healthy diet. Honestly, most of my friends hate that he eats fruits and veggies and ‘adult’ meals. I do have to fight against the influences he picks up at school — kids with a never-ending supply of candy and processed cookies and chips, but we don’t do that at home.
There are some foods he doesn’t like, of course. I am a believer in sneaking/mixing it in so he becomes used to the flavor & texture. (eg: cut the peppers up tiny and put in fajitas instead of big scary strips). It has worked for me, and now for him.
Cheers!
I think that’s a brilliant way to introduce healthy food to your children – simply by eating it yourself!
My son turned 2 a month ago, and he’s really fussy with food. He’ll only eat certain things, and I think our mistake has been that we don’t eat together. His dinner is usually earlier, and he has that at his grandparents’ half the time (they have him for a few hours a day). There is no consistency.
We’ve decided not to force the issue, and have started to just offer him a variety of food. He can eat it or not, no issue. We are also including him in our meals, so hopefully, he’ll be like your son someday!
Yes, I do this!! But, do you know what else I do??? I hide from my kids when I eat the bad stuff sometimes. Is this taking it to extremes? ahhhhhh!!!!!
I love this post!! 🙂
Jen 🙂
Sometimes I do that too! 🙂
I do agree that we shouldn’t stop offering to kids some foods just becasuse they didn’t like it the first or second time. My daughter for example have periods of liking orange. She likes them and then for a month or so she does not want to have anything to do with it. Once when I made spinach souffle she ate it like crazy. The second day she didn’t want to touch it. It doesn’t mean I won’t give it to her again.
Your story about the watermelon reminds me of me having my morning smoothies and my daughter just running away from me every single time I would offer her some. Now when she sees me drinking it she points at a can with straws. In her language it means: I want that, too.
Yeah, they do go through phases! The important thing is that they get some good stuff (even if sometimes it is only one kind of thing!)
When we started having children my husband (who did not historically prefer veggies and fruit) vowed to himself that he would eat more healthy items in front of the kids. 12 years later it seems to have worked. All but the youngest (now 6) love fruits and veggies. I think we slacked a little with the youngest, but sometimes that happens. She’s coming around and often prefers veggies over the meat offerings 🙂
Great post and very inspiring. Fruits and vegetables are a big part of my diet and I make sure there are some always at our dinner table and in a basket on our counter for easy access. For the past few days, I have been trying to eat “cleaner” – in other words, no processed foods, sugar, glutens, dairy, caffeine (which I decided to break today 🙂 ), and alcohol. So our meals have been completely fruit and vegetable based with a side of meat for my husband and a side of pasta for the girls. I ask big girl to always take a bite – we call it a “no thank you bite” – and it pains her! I often think she gets herself so worked up about taking that bite that she has in her head that she is not going to like it before the fork reaches her mouth. Little girl is much like your son. She climbs on my lap and we eat a plate of carrots or kale together. I love your advise: “Overall I believe that leading by example, and not forcing the issue, will often lead our children to start mirroring our own healthy eating habits.” I will take it! I am often thankful for living in Northern California where a large percent of the country’s produce is grown. It is accessible, fresh and delicious!
I have always offered “adult meals” to my children, and only occasionally do I ever get them a “child” meal at a restaurant, and they also eat very well. I have also received comments about their healthy eating habbits.
They normally will not see any junk food at home, although I do sneak it in for when they are not around (like the stash of chocolate covered pretzels), so they will be none the wiser 🙂
Thank you everyone for the great comments! I am glad the post generated so much discussion!