This is a follow-up to a post I wrote a short while ago titled ,”The Choices We Make (For Them)“. To summarize, in January we moved back to Riyadh, the city we used to live in. My kids want to go back to the schools they were in before.
I want them to go to a small school with a higher standard of education. The old schools are big and chock full of students (My son S had 28 classmates, My daughter J had 18). This school is small and has relatively few students. In S’s case there’s only one other student in 3rd grade!
Well, I made the choice! I chose the small school for both my kids. Needless to say, neither child was thrilled. But I am the adult in charge of making these decisions for them. The decisions that will make them sad and angry at me and say things like “it’s so unfair” and “I want to be with my friends.”
When I told them the decision they instantly crumpled. J started counting off the friends she won’t see again. I assured her she could see them every weekend, then she said “I mean in the playground mama! everyday!” S grabbed my laptop and was typing in something. Then the page to his old school came up on the screen and he started saying, “Oh mama look! It’s MR. Whoozit the headmaster and Coach Wasizname!!” Oh, the drama of it all.
The factors that lead me to my choice are:
1) When I asked about the amount of homework, they said for J’s grade (kg2) she has some everyday except Wednesdays (first day of the weekend), so that she can enjoy her weekend, and it shouldn’t take more than 20-30 minutes. For S (3rd grade) he gets homework everyday, including Wednesday, but again, it shouldn’t take more than a half hour.
And the line that melted my heart was “We have your children from 7.45 in the morning till 2.45 in the afternoon, you shouldn’t have to teach them anymore at home. Homework is revision and should be done unsupervised.” Ah… I’m in love!
2) Yes, S only has one classmate, but the set up is as follows: They have core classes, just the two of them, from 8 am till 12 pm (Arabic, English, Math), then they do the rest of the day with other classes. So if it’s science, the two of them go to the science lab with grade 2, but work together on grade 3 level studies.
3) I spoke to mothers with children in the school and the feedback has been excellent.
4) The Arabic curriculum is a strong one. They also have Islamic studies.
5) They welcome parent involvement (in a good way) and are organized! Oh how I MISS organized!
6) They have a varied and fun selection of after school activities and an arts program.
I can go on, I won’t though. When I started telling the children about the school and the programs and the fact that they can sleep-in a whole extra hour in the morning (meaning they can stay up a whole extra hour at night), they started protesting less. It also helps that they had a break from both their old schools while we have been here in the eastern province. J did say “If I don’t like it, I’m going back to my old school!”
The only drawback I can see now is that I will have to get them extra French tuition as they will be behind. And that we lose 2 weeks of summer break (still leaving us with 2 months vacation, so I shouldn’t complain).
I took the kids to visit the school and to have their assessments. It was all very positive, except for the fact that they told me my daughter didn’t recognize a single letter, not even the letter “a”.
That made my heart sink! I thought “Wait… I supervise her homework, and work on her sight words, and watch as she does her work sheets! She must have choked!” But what I said was “Ummmm… she doesn’t have the best memory… and she might need some work… but I think she maybe was nervous.” The teacher then told me she seemed very much at ease but didn’t know her numbers either.
I asked her to send me some work sheets and exercises for her to work on before she starts. In my opinion, tests are stupid and don’t represent anything of what the child knows. No, my daughter is not the best speller, and she does have a terrible memory, but my daughter recognizes “a” as well as “b,c,d,f,g,h,l,m,n,o, AND p.”
So, Tests. Good thing? Bad thing? Do they truly represent a child’s ability?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Mama B from Saudi Arabia. She can be found writing at her blog, Ya Maamaa.
Photo credit to Andre Gustavo. This photo has a creative commons attribution license.
it sounds like wherever your kids go, they’ll thrive because they have such a loving, involved mama.
we just switched schools and our new school has tons of homework. even my four-year-old has hours every weekend. it seems so pointless. i admire your decision.
Thanks for the comment Asha, and sorry all for the late reply I’m moving house… enough said! I hate homework it’s totally unfair!! But I hope at least the kids are enjoying it.
Ya Maamaa, I was glad you kept us informed of your decision after laying it out for us a few months ago. Congratulations. It sounds like you’re at peace and happy with what you’ve chosen. There is still so much mystery for me regarding Saudi Arabia, though, I would love more detail and description about what schooling and raising young kids is like there. Details might seem obvious or uninteresting but remember, most of the readers and writers on WMB are not Saudi. Are both of these schools public (state funded), truition-free schools or are they private (requiring tuition) schools? What is schooling like in SA? What age do kids start formal schooling and what’s a typical day like? How does your husband feel about the decision you made? Why does your weekend start on Wednesday? I look forward to learning more about motherhood through your eyes.
Thanks for the comment. Schools here are pretty much what you’d expect from a typical school except government schools have very little emphasis on extra curricular activities or sports and they finish very early (7.30 am till 12.30 am) as they only basically do core subjects. My kids go to private schools. There have, i think, always been private schools and public schools but there was never a variety. Now schools are springing up everywhere like mushrooms in the past five years which is a good thing as the ‘old school’ schools are revamping their curriculum and trying to keep up. A little competition is always good. Kids start formal school around 6 or 7 but many families send their children to private nurseries or day care centers. My husband supports the decision I made and is probably more sure of it than I am at times. Our weeks start on Saturday and end on a Friday so that’s why the weekend starts on a wednesday. On Fridays there is “Friday prayer” in the afternoon and most families spend the rest of that day at home after that. I guess there are a lot of little differences on our everyday life that I should write about so you have given me me next post subject! Thank you.
I loved what Asha said about you being a loving, involved mama. Because of it, your kids will do great wherever you decide for them, tests or no tests. You are looking out for their best interest in the best way you know how and no matter their protests, what they will hopefully remember about you when they are grown adults is that you cared so very much! Thanks for setting a great examples for us moms who are a few years behind you!
Thank you. I really hope so! You have to be tough sometimes I guess but it is always difficult and impossible to know if you’re doing the right thing.
I’m not a very good test taker! I understand that our human populations are so large that society needs way of making sure that the kids are learning, but sometimes I wish there was a better way!
Keep us posted on how your daughter is doing with her letters! It can be intimidating to have to say what you know on the spot!
Jen 🙂
She’s been in school a month now and she seems to be getting on really well! In both her Arabic and her English! I am optimistic! She has a report card coming in next week so we’ll see!
Good for you! I am so glad that you made and stuck with the decision that you are most comfortable with. The school sounds like it is a very nurturing environment for your children – which is all you can ask for. I, for one, am a horrible test taker – I always was – and somehow I made it through a very competitive amazing university. I would not be too worried (although I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t feel the same way as you right now. In fact, we have something called the ERBs over here that 4 and 5 year olds have to take before getting into Kindergarden. It’s like an entrance exam. And even though my son is already enrolled in the school (and has been for 2 years), he has to take it this month…and I have been so nervous about it! Afterall, how much can you gather from a 5 year old after spending 30 minutes with them? Right?) 🙂
yikes! That is scary but I am sure he will pass with flying colours. It just seems unfair to test a child that young! Looking at my three kids I would say they are all of equal (high) intelligence but they are not all the same and I am sure they will have some strengths and weaknesses as they grow up. I hope all goes well with his test and I wish all our kids luck they have SUCH a long way ahead of them the poor things!
Sounds like you made the best decision for your family, even if it wasn’t the popular decision. Bravo! That is a hard thing, but you did what you needed to do as the loving, knowledgeable mom.
As for tests, like you said, this is all new to your daughter. So many changes! When my son started school, he did an assessment, and while he scored fine, I was in the room and saw his anxiety level over things he easily knew. It’s alot for little kids. Give it time and your continued support, and perhaps she can ease in.
Best of luck!
Having just switched my kids from one school to another at the January break, I feel your pain–or at least, I can hear your kids griping, as mine have been doing the same. We are (mostly) sure we made the right decision but the 11yr old is sure that we have RUINED HIS LIFE. When I remind him about how bored he was at his old school (every day, he complained) he says “I don’t remember that.” Humph. If you feel in your gut like you’re doing the right thing then…probably you are. Good for you. And remember that kids find all kinds of ways to poke at us – your daughter’s apparent memory loss about her numbers & letters might be her way of saying “you can’t make me like this place”… : )