Bella waiting for her sitter.
I have been a stay at home mom for the past 2+ years with my daughter. And the only time we ever had a sitter was when my husband was gone for training with the Army for 4 months and I hired a girl to come once a week so I could grocery shop. So really, Bella has been pretty much my sidekick 24-7.
This past spring, I transitioned into what I’ve always dreamed of and worked towards – working at home as a freelance writer. These past two months I’ve worked 30-40 hours per week from home with several different jobs and my own blog.
This is a huge adjustment for our whole family – especially my daughter. When I realized I simply wasn’t able to get what I needed done without her being left alone or plopped in front of the TV, I decided to look at other options.
First we tried a half day daycare but because most moms here work full-time or stay at home full-time, there is a huge need for all day daycare. I understood that Bella only going part of a day took up a full-time slot that they could give to another child.
So then we looked at preschools, but most were too expensive for us at the time, and I didn’t feel at 2 1/2 there was a real need for that quite yet. Besides, we plan on homeschooling our kids.
The last option we decided to try was an in home sitter. I put out an ad on Sittercity.com hoping to find someone like we had before we moved to Texas. After a few sketchy interviews we found someone we both really like and Bella completely adores. She’s always on time, always cheerful, full of ideas, and has a flexible schedule for last-minute changes. She’s been with us for 2 months now and comes 2 times a week (soon to be 3).
While she’s here, I pack up all the stuff I need for work and head out to a local Starbucks a couple of miles away. I thought about just going to my bedroom and shutting the door and then I realized I would be the crazy mom I hated as a nanny. The one that hears her kid crying and leaps into the room to find out what happened, the one who opens the door when the child pounds on it, the one who peeks through the shades as they are outside playing to make sure her child has a hat on…
Anyway. I leave. I leave and for almost 2 solid hours I write, send emails, and edit pictures and posts.
At first I felt incredibly guilty about this. Because I told myself that if I simply managed my time better, we could save that money.
And then I realized I was insane.
Bella loves someone new that is there to give her undivided attention. I love being able to work without being asked 100 times if I can play with “Thomas with no face.” I love coming home to a happy child who made her first watercolor and ran through the sprinkler outside. I am more energized, have things nearly done, and am ready to give her my full attention after nap.
I still work some in the mornings and always at night. I feel that it’s OK to work around her because it teaches her independence and creativity to find something I’m not creating for her. So mornings are half play/half work. That is my time management – when Bella sleeps I work.
But, having our sitter allows me that time to really focus, to do what I love knowing my child is in the hands of someone capable and caring. I never thought I’d want someone in my home this often and now I can’t imagine anything I’d do different.
What’s your balancing act? How do you manage to get work done and juggle kids/household tasks?
This is an original post to World Moms Blog from our Writer Interview Editor and mother of one in Texas, Diana @Hormonal Imbalances.
Photo credited to the author.
Trying again to comment here…. Yeah, being a WAHM isn’t easy. And I can understand (and not judge) why
some moms would prefer to just work outside the home, come home and be
able to leave the work at the door so that home is fully home. But, for
me, even with the challenges taken into account, I love the flexibility
of working from home, being my own boss, making my own schedule, being
able to tend to my kids when they really need me, and watch them learn
independent play when I’m on the computer or phone with someone. My
kids love puzzles, crafts, roughhousing with each other, building
clubhouses with fire wood around the tree outside, ‘washing’ the car,
educational computer games (a little too much – it’s often a battle
getting them unplugged when the timer goes off to say they’re done),
picking tomatoes in the garden, reading (sometimes), and making a mess.
They’re not too keen on cleaning up still, but it’s fun watching them
grow in their independence, knowing that mommy has other callings in
life also and they are not the center of the universe – they are members
of our family team, where we try to respect one another’s needs and
support one another – and say sorry quickly for the times when we
don’t. It’s always a crazy juggling act, but overall it’s good, and I
love it. Lacey 🙂
OK, trying again to post comment here…Yeah, being a WAHM isn’t easy. And I can understand (and not judge) why
some moms would prefer to just work outside the home, come home and be
able to leave the work at the door so that home is fully home. But, for
me, even with the challenges taken into account, I love the flexibility
of working from home, being my own boss, making my own schedule, being
able to tend to my kids when they really need me, and watch them learn
independent play when I’m on the computer or phone with someone. My
kids love puzzles, crafts, roughhousing with each other, building
clubhouses with fire wood around the tree outside, ‘washing’ the car,
educational computer games (a little too much – it’s often a battle
getting them unplugged when the timer goes off to say they’re done),
picking tomatoes in the garden, reading (sometimes), and making a mess.
They’re not too keen on cleaning up still, but it’s fun watching them
grow in their independence, knowing that mommy has other callings in
life also and they are not the center of the universe – they are members
of our family team, where we try to respect one another’s needs and
support one another – and say sorry quickly for the times when we
don’t. It’s always a crazy juggling act, but overall it’s good, and I
love it. Lacey 🙂
I think, I would be the same way as you if I was WAHM. These days I can barely write two posts a week because of my kids wanting my attention, all the time. I totally understand you feeling more energized, I would feel too, if somebody gave my 2 two hours with no babies around – twice a week would be awesome 🙂
It was a huge adjustment for me to accept that I can no longer do chores around my home the way I did before I had my baby. I work full time out of the home and I have a 45 minute commute, so my time at home is limited. The last thing I want to do with my precious time in the evening is clean house. I do little things here and there, but most of my time during the week is spent caring for the baby, working, and doing things I simply can’t avoid (like, um, eating).My son is typically asleep by 9:00 and if I’m lucky I will have about an hour to myself at night. Since I wake up at 5:45 in the morning I just don’t have it in me to stay up very late. On the nights where I feel like I can make it to 11:00 I still force myself to go to bed because I know I’ll pay in the morning if I don’t.I try to get most of my cleaning done on the weekends. But honestly? It’s different now that I have a kid. I still care that my bathrooms haven’t been cleaned and my floors haven’t been swept and my furniture hasn’t been dusted…but in the end all of that stuff will still be there whenever I get around to it. Nowadays I’d rather spend time interacting with my son & relaxing than doing chores.A small part of me looks forward to the day when I have time for cleaning again. I enjoy cleaning, but it’s too exhausting for me right now!
This seems like a great idea! You can really get a lot done in that time when your daughter is with the sitter. I sometimes wish I had some help too. You’re doing a great job as a mom- both doing the best thing for your daughter and providing for her financially.
I am a single working Mom (Teacher) and I have long been envious of the moms who are SAHM or even WAHM moms- that is, until this summer when it was just my son and I all day long- I didn’t get a THING done!!! Don’t get me wrong- I loved having the one on one time with my son, but by the time I got him to bed every night, I was wiped out from playing all day long. It sounds as though you have found the perfect solution! Well done! I am awaiting the posts when you write about being a WAHM who home schools. That just makes my head spin!
Diana, I am still trying to figure out my balancing act because it is very unbalanced at the moment! I spend a lot of time staying up late and squeezing every minute out of my day. I recently brought in a friend’s daughter as a mother’s helper, here and there, so I can catch up with some World Moms Blog work. I think this may be the way forward for me. Thank you for sharing your story!! And, it was fantastic to see you again at BlogHer in NYC!!Jen Burden 🙂