Recently, my family and I were invited to attend the baptism and confirmation of a neighbor’s son. They are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Days Saints, and they asked friends, family and neighbors to witness this special rite of passage. I am an agnostic, and we do not practice formal religion in our home, but I was excited to take my sons to support their friend.
I grew up in a Catholic community, but I reached a point when I realized that Catholicism wasn’t the right fit for me. I explored other faiths, but none stuck. However, I have a tremendous amount of respect for formal faith-based communities. I may not agree with all aspects of any given religion, but there are many things that I do agree with and that warm my heart.
Family, community, connection, support, love…these are the things that you can find playing out in houses of worship around the world.
I talk to my children about religion. We discuss the different forms that prayer can take, and the ways in which people of various faiths interpret the presence of God in their lives. We also talk about people who do not believe in God, and ways in which they can be spiritual. We have visited Christian churches, a Buddhist temple, and a Hindu monastery. We celebrate Christmas, and we spend time in the fall and winter discussing the festivals of light celebrated around the world. We have our own version of prayer in the form of secular daily intentions that we recite together.
We talk about mindfulness, morality, and being positive members of our community. I try to draw parallels about how we think on these things and how those who practice religion do.
Prior to attending the baptism, my boys and I talked about what it would mean to their friend and his religious community. I explained that it would be OK if we didn’t understand everything that happened during the service. We would go to observe, learn and show support.
It was a joyous gathering. Family members spoke and guided the service. They did a wonderful job of explaining the process to everyone there, especially those of us for whom this was new. People sang and cried happy tears. Their friend was immersed by his father in a font while everyone, especially a front row of the littlest attendees, looked on him with smiles. He became an official member of his religious community, surrounded mainly by people of his ward but also a few from the outside.
As we drove home, I asked my children what they thought. They had both had a great time. They had interesting observations and were able to talk about what they expected and how it compared to what actually happened. But overall, they knew that this was a special day for their friend, and it helped them understand his life a bit more. As a family, we are still content approaching all things spiritual in our own manner.
However, I want to make sure that while my children don’t practice religion, they are tolerant and respectful of religion. We live in a time when it is so easy to become cynical and focus on what we don’t like about someone or something.
While it is important to champion our own beliefs, it is equally important to continually learn about those who choose a different path than ours.
Opportunities like this recent one benefit us all by bringing us closer together while still allowing our differences. At the end of the day, it’s all about the larger community, and I love mine.
Do you practice religion with your children? How do you talk to your children about faiths that are different to yours?
This has been an original post for World Moms Network by Tara B. Photo credit to the author.
My family, like yours, respects all religions, yet doesn’t follow any one particular doctrine, we rather incorporate into our lives beliefs and practices that resonate with us. My husband and I were both raised Catholic and we felt it was our duty to Baptise our babies and send them to catechism classes (so they could partake of the First Holy Communion). Our reasoning was that (should they decide that they wanted to continue their ancestral tradition of Catholicism) they would have had to have undergone those foundational rites. However, when it came time for them to be Confirmed, they both decided that they didn’t believe everything that they were supposed to believe in order to practise the Catholic Faith.
Strangely enough, my 23 year old son married a woman whose family is Catholic, and is very involved with the Catholic Church in Frankfurt (where he has emigrated to). After meeting her, he chose to be Confirmed after all, so that he could have his wedding ceremony in a Catholic Church (so it’s a really good thing that he was Baptised Catholic and had had his First Holy Communion!) My daughter is 20 years old, and (at least so far) she believes (as I do) in the existence of a Higher Power, “Good” and “Evil” forces as well as the Collective Unconscious.
The following are the ways I choose to illustrate our family’s beliefs:
“There are many paths to the top of the mountain, and all of them will get you there. The only one who doesn’t get there is the one who runs from path to path trying to convince the others that they won’t be able to get to the top of the mountain unless they follow him/her!” In other words, we respect your beliefs as long as you respect our desire to walk a different path from yours.
If you take a bucket of water out of the ocean, the water in the bucket is still exactly the same as the water in the ocean. When you kick the bucket, the water flows back into the ocean and is indistinguishable from the rest. We believe that the ocean is the Higher Power (irrespective of the name you choose to give it). The bucket is our human form. We are Souls having a Human experience and (when our bodies stop functioning) we all rejoin the Higher Power.
Thank you for posting about a subject that many people are afraid to tackle. 🙂
Thanks for your comments, Simona! I really enjoyed learning about how you approach this topic, and I LOVE the image of pathways up the mountain. I will definitely be using that moving forward.
It’s always great to discover more people “on the same wavelength” as you. 🙂 “Vibes” are a very real thing, and it *is* possible to connect with and affect each other, irrespective of physical distances. I feel that I have Soul Sisters whom I have never met in person, but with whom I have a very strong connection. The unconditional love which flows between us is very powerful, and it *really* helps me on my “bad pain days”. 🙂
Tara, I read this post when it published, but I’m heading back to catch up on comments. I love that you exemplify respect for the religion or non religion of others. I think this is so important to make the world go ’round. ?
We introduce our kids to different religions through travel, art, and reading religious texts.