This week’s Friday Question comes from World Moms Blog writer, Kyla Pa’an from Massachusetts, USA. She asks:
“What do you do to maintain balance between being a mom and being an adult?”
This is what the World Mom Blog writers had to say.
Kirsten Doyle of Toronto writes:
Oh my, I just had to pick myself up off the floor, I was laughing so hard at this one! It is a hard thing to balance. Even when I am not physically with my kids, I am thinking about them. What they need, where they are, whether I need to buy anything or arrange anything for them…
But I suppose my sanity comes from my running. Not only does it keep me in shape and give me some much-needed time to myself, it allows me to actually see some thoughts through to completion! That just doesn’t happen when I have two little monkeys hanging onto me!
Dr. Lanham of Arizona, USA writes:
I take time for myself and do the things I love. I’ve taught my family that if mommy is happy the family will be. I know for some moms it’s a challenge “getting away” so I suggest when you need time for yourself introduce what you love to the family and explain to them the importance of your time so that you’re better for them!
Rachel Jordan of Pennsylvania, USA writes:
(Prior to this week’s start of Kindergarten) – I get up, before they do, and go to the gym. While everyone is sleeping – I have me time. I find it also sends a great message to them about staying healthy. My husband seems to get a lot more “me time..” Hmmm, doesn’t seem fair!
Leighann of Canada writes:
I’m very lucky to have a partner who understands that being a mom and being an adult are two different things (to me). He takes time each week to go out with a friend child-free and I take a night each week to go out with a friend, child-free. It gives us both time to restart and have some adult fun.
For me that’s shopping!
Courtney Capello of Massachusetts, USA writes:
Some things I do just for me are getting exercise, reading good books after my girls are in bed and a good friend of mine and I always go out once a month for “ladies night”. We get dinner and just chat. I cherish that time!
Maman Aya of New York, USA writes:
There are times where I feel that it never happens. I work outside of the house 3 days a week, so that helps (although it’s not “fun” it does help keep my brain from turning to mush). I also try to go out with a friend (or group of friends) every few weeks or so for dinner. I definitely need to do more, like start to get back into my exercise routine, that is my much needed next step. I always felt better physically, emotionally and mentally when I did. My husband has started to ride a bike for fun and I was thinking of doing the same. Unfortunately we won’t be able to go at the same time.
Robin Farr of Victoria, Canada writes:
I struggled with that for a long time and I now make an effort to draw a bigger distinction. My husband and I both take time on weekends, as needed, to do something on our own. I quit spending hours each night doing stuff around the house because it was making me crazy. And even though my husband is a stay-at-home dad, I get him to do bedtime when I need a break. Just a few little things here and there makes a big difference to my sanity!
Carol @ If By Yes of Vancouver, Canada writes:
I don’t really see a distinction between myself as a mom and myself as a self. “Mother” is just added to the list of adjectives that describes me, along with “pet owner”, “veterinary technician”, “writer”, “bookworm” and “catastrophizer”. I take care of my baby, walk my dog, go to work, write blog posts, read while breastfeeding, and worry too much. I don’t know if it’s balanced, but it’s me.
Nicole @ Third Eye Mom of Minnesota, USA writes:
As the kids get older I find this struggle much easier. When they were babies, I made sure that I could run at least three times a week, go out for mommy’s nights and have time to myself on the weekends. Now that they are older, I’m finding life easier and finding more of myself than just the mom/caregiver. I am involved in various NGOs, volunteer, exercise, travel without them and do the things I love. I feel the balance is so much better now. When they were babies, as much as I love them, it was so trying and all consuming that I often felt the “me” part was gone. But as I knew would happen, it is coming back and I enjoy the balance now in my life much better.
Susie @ New Day New Lesson of Israel, writes:
My older kids are adults (19 and 21), so I don’t have that much of an issue.
I think the bigger problem is finding time in my hectic life to do the things that I want to do and make me happy.
Fire Crystals of India, writes:
I think it is very essential for a mother to have some ‘ME’ time, away from the pressures of family and mothering. If not, she’d go stark raving mad. I find ‘me’ time after the Little One has gone to sleep at night. Which is when I usually take the time to check mails, read blogs, get some writing done (if I haven’t dropped dead asleep after a whole day at work and home).
Alison Lee of Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia writes:
A fellow mom friend and I try to meet up at least once a month for breakfast sans children. It’s a great way to have a conversation uninterrupted, and just be able to feel normal for even just an hour!
How do you maintain the balance between being a mother and an adult?
– World Moms Blog
Photo credit to happyworker http://www.flickr.com/photos/happyworker/4585265982/ . This photo has a creative commons attribute license.
I ‘gave’ myself to our boys for the first 18 months of their lives (longer for our sensitive cling-on) and really took very little time for myself – quite happily in theory, more of my Everest at times. Now that they are older, I get some exercise and steal coffee time with my girlfriends. I am beginning to claim some nights out – even if it’s just to get to meetings at school. Anyone keen for a wine date next Friday night?
Wish I was nearer to go out for the wine Karen 🙂
Ops, sorry I mispelled your name Karyn!!
I’ll ditto that! Cheers 🙂
For me its more about having alone time, apart from everyone, than adult time. I need at least a little bit of time alone everyday (writing or doing whatever!)
As a single mom, it gets difficult to maintain a balance between being a mother and an adult, but I am so lucky to have a friend whose husband watches my son & theirs so that she and I can go out a couple evenings here and there.
I also give myself “me” time a few nights a week. I put T to bed and then stay up for an hour or two doing things for myself – reading, writing, or sometimes just watching a movie.
Rox – my complete admiration for single moms. I feel like it’s hard enough with two parents, can’t imagine doing it by myself. I’m glad you’re able to get some time in for yourself! Thanks for stopping by!
My close knit group of mom friends and I try to plan a “Mom’s Night Out” at least quarterly. Can’t wait…we are overdue for mom’s night out and are having one later this month to do arts and crafts at an art studio. As goofy as it may sound, we are SO excited to do some artwork ourselves instead of watching our kids do it 🙂