It is hard to believe that ten years have passed since our nation was changed forever by an act of terror that claimed the lives of 2976 people. Innocent people, who woke up that day to go to work, attend a meeting, fly on a plane or bravely risk their lives to help the injured and the trapped. Their lives were cut short, and their family and friends will forever be affected by that tragic day in American history.
Most of the world experienced 9/11 through a television. For those of us that were in New York City that day, we had a front row seat to one of the most awful things imaginable.
It was a day filled with shock, terror and for many – desperation to find out what happened to their loved ones, even if they didn’t work in the towers. We left our buildings with no access to phones or t.v.’s, while the rest of the world watched and waited to hear from us. It’s the one event in my life that can bring tears to my eyes in an instant and send chills up and down my spine.
I started out my day just like every other morning. My husband and I would drive from the NJ suburbs into Jersey City, park our car in a garage, take the Path train to the World Trade Center and then head to our offices in Tribeca and Midtown.
I can vividly remember so many details of that morning – the beautiful weather, what I was wearing, and riding the escalator up from the Path into the WTC.
Who knew it would be the last time I would walk through one of those magnificent buildings?
At the time, I worked at Citigroup in the Equity department on a trading floor with a few hundred people. I was in a meeting and trying my best to pay attention but couldn’t help but stare through the office glass as I saw people stand up one by one on the floor. I said “I think something is going on.”
We walked out and saw live footage of one of the World Trade Center on fire. There was a lot of chatter and rumors it was a propeller plane that went off course. My husband’s sister worked in one of those buildings, and I immediately called him. He had not gotten through to her yet, but he had already spoken to his father and he said she worked in the other building, which was a relief.
But then, all of a sudden, there were screams, gasps and people were covering their mouths. The T.V. showed flames spewing out of the second tower.
Someone yelled, “It was another plane!” Everyone looked like they had seen a ghost. At the time, I didn’t realize how many traders on the floor were talking to people — their dads or sons or sisters and friends. Most of them were trapped at the firm Cantor Fitzgerald. I could cry just thinking about it.
As our building was evacuated, the scene outside the front of our building was strange with a chaotic sense of calm. I felt a bit panicked, but there was so much of the unknown that you really didn’t know what to feel or think or do. As we gathered out front, we talked about rumors of accidents and terrorism. Cell phones signals were lost. I would glance over at the towers every so often at the thick cloud of black smoke but kept talking with my coworkers.
If I knew the magnitude of what would happen later, I probably would have stood there frozen and stared and cried. At that moment, I just had no idea how bad it really was or would be. Or maybe, because I had not received one of the desperate calls from someone trapped inside, I just didn’t have a clue. I definitely thought that people were killed, but nothing close to the 3,000 that were lost by day’s end.
I finally decided to walk into the shoe shine store at the base of our building and use their phone to call my husband. He told me that a plane just hit the Pentagon.
At that point, I knew it was terrorism, and truthfully I wondered if I was going to die.
Was a bomb going to hit the city? I wanted to wait for my husband in front of my building, but he told me to just start walking towards his office which was about 50 blocks north.
I will always remember that walk up the West Side Highway. The sounds, the people, the sights and the horrific smell. The sounds were the most unforgettable – there was a very loud and constant blaring of horns from the fire engines and police cars. When I hear that sound anytime to this day, I almost break out in tears. I also never thought in a million years that those brave men and women who passed me were driving to their death.
I remember people started screaming and an officer told us to run, and when I turned around, all I could see was a big cloud of smoke.
I thought it was an explosion at the time from something like gas lines at the building or maybe even a bomb. I did not see the first tower fall, nor did I think that was even possible. However, not long after that, again I heard screams, and then felt a rumble as I turned to watch the second tower fall.
Seemingly in slow motion – I could see the pieces, the glass, the crumbling and the smokey ash. Watching that building collapse before my eyes was something I will never forget. My first thought was that Lower Manhattan was completely wiped out. I thought – “Oh my God, A LOT of people just died.”
It was at that exact moment I got cell phone reception, and I got through to my husband. I asked if he had heard from his sister, who worked on the 69th floor of the South Tower, and he said “No.” We thought she was dead. I started crying. Given the tragedy of the day, we were fortunate to later find out she was ok.
Getting home involved a long walk, a ferry ride, hitchhiking twice and then getting to our car in what can only be described as a completely abandoned Jersey City. There was not a single person on the street. My husband looked at me and said “Wow, this is what the end of the world must feel like.” It was surreal.
The days and weeks that followed were awful and depressing. Pretty much every person I worked with lost some one. The trader who sat on my left lost his son, the one on my right lost his brother. I could go on and on about the losses – let’s just say there were MANY.
Some of the worst distress was from those I worked with who got their sons, daughters, nieces and nephews jobs at some of the firms where everyone died. They carried so much sorrow and pain and guilt. It was months before anyone felt normal again, if ever, and the sadness was thick and heavy for a long while after that.
As a new mom, and someone who continues to commute to Manhattan each day, I often think now, more than ever, how incredibly sad it would be if my child were to lose me or his father in any way, let alone to a terrorist act. So much was taken away from so many families that day. Perhaps the most innocent victims were the children of all of the people that perished. Babies that were yet to be born that will never know their fathers and children that have to grow up without one of their parents to guide them through life’s most important moments.
The people we lost on 9/11 will always be Heroes who were taken away way too soon. Let’s Never Forget the Hopes, the Dreams, the Bravery and the Love of all of those we lost that day. God Bless.
Do you have a story to tell — where were you on September 11th, 2011? Or, how do you think September 11th changed the world?
This has been an original post to World Moms Blog by Jennifer D’Ambrosio of New Jersey, USA.
World Moms Blog remembers all who were lost 10 years ago and sends out hope for togetherness and world peace among people of all cultures, religions and backgounds.
Please tune in tomorrow for another first-hand account from Maman Aya of New York City, who was working downtown on the fateful day.
**Photo taken by a New Jersey State Trooper and sent to us for use by Eddie Lennon of the NJ State Troopers. This photo was taken on September 12, 2001. Thousands of copies were sold, and in the September 11th aftermath the NJ State Troopers raised over $110,000, which went directly to the NYFD, NYPD, and PAPD.
Jennifer – you’re story brought tears to my eyes. I know the fear and terror I felt watching from the other side of the world in the safety of my own home. I can’t begin to imagine what it must have been like living it and breathing it.
I guess that was the scariest thing for us as we watched the happenings across the globe, all of us knew that the world had changed forever and none of us knew how it would effect us or what was still to come.
Thank you for sharing what must have been a terrifying experience for your husband and you.
Fiona – it was a day I will never forget. My story could have easily been much longer – so many details to talk about. I think the days and weeks that followed were the hardest. Going into work and seeing the heartache of so many….. It is still hard to believe it happened. I watched some of the video footage on the history channel yesterday and it really was a day that no words are fitting enough to describe what was going through our minds.
Jen,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I know it must have been so difficult, and I’m so sorry that you had to experience it at all.
I’m thinking of all those who were lost this day 10 years ago and have great hopes for world peace everywhere on the planet.
Jen 🙂
I forgot to answer — I was in Washington, D.C. the day of the attacks working about a block from the White House. We were evacuated from our building and we heard the military planes that had come overhead to protect the city. And, we were told that there was a plane coming for the White House. A coworker and I legged it back to Arlington. We heard an explosion, and it was rumored that a bomb had gone off at the State Department, so we did our best to avoid the State Dept., and made it on foot to Georgetown. We then found a cab trying to get out of the city and hopped in. The radio on the cab talked of the plane that was still in the air that eventually went down in Pennsylvania. It was really scary because we thought it was heading to us. And, we could see the Pentagon in flames. We later found out that the explosion we had hear that day was not a car bomb, but was the fuel tank of the airplane that went into the Pentagon across the river.
My most memorable moment was seeing a fully decorated service man on the Metro train later that week. He picked up a newspaper on the seat next to him and started reading about those that had died in the Pentagon, where he was headed to work. He broke down in tears, but kept a solid strong face. I will never forget that.
Jen
Thank you Jen for letting me share my story and not being too harsh on the editing! I never knew anyone that experienced 9/11 in D.C. It is really interesting to hear your perspective. Like you, I remember thinking that maybe another plane or even a bomb was coming. So many thoughts ran through my mind that day. It was frightening. I watched some footage on the history channel this weekend and you can see the panic and fear in so many people’s faces and the absolute shock. Such a sad day for our country….. I wonder what I will tell Luke one day…..
Jen, Thank you my friend for giving us a complete detailed moment by moment of this day.Your words were powerful. They brought me to tears. I know Juan must have experienced your same fears but he could never put them into words. Luke has an amazing Mom. I love you.
Lucy – I wonder if Juan ever told you that Joe and I ran into him that day in Weehawkin. He was at the bar in Houlihan’s and he looked like he had seen a ghost. We were all stuck there after walking for miles uptown and taking the ferry there. There were no trains, no buses and seemingly – no way to get home. We grabbed a beer and were all just sitting there in absolute shock watching t.v. From there, Joe and I hitched a ride to Hoboken and then hitched another ride to Jersey City. All the while we just couldn’t believe what had happened. I think we were all in shock. I only started to feel real emotions in the following days after seeing all the news coverage, stories of all the missing people and the horror of the day. It still seems like a foggy time in my life. Surreal.
You shared the feelings so clearly
I am exhausted from remembering that day 10 years ago
A young woman in my office screaming into the phone trying to find her father, her brothers, her fiance – all FDNY
Driving all my staff home through the streets of Brooklyn with the smoke wafting across the bay
My baby brother crying as he learned of friends at Cantor who were gone
Finding out my son was going down there the very next day for what would become of months of long, painful days doing recovery work
Peace sweet girl
and hugs to Luke and Joseph and Jack
Diane – I completely forget that we didn’t know you back then. Thank you for sharing some of your experience……… Such a sad day for everyone. 🙁
Jen – this is a beautifully written piece and I thank you. You will read all about my story tomorrow, but I just wanted to say how I agree with you about the sirens. I cannot hear a siren anymore without my heart stopping for a second and my body tensing up. I also cannot watch a plane in the sky the same way. I follow the plane as it crosses the sky until I can no longer see it. The smell of the jet fuel while I was looking up at the tower, and of the smoke as it wafted across the river to Queens in the following days; the memory of the small pieces of dust, glass, and everything in the building stuck in my hair; the visual image of looking down the river as I crossed the Whitestone bridge to get back home on the 12 of Sept and just seeing the black smoke rising from where two buildings used to be… these will be with me forever.
You know, I was up at the Cantor offices a month or two before Sept 11, interviewing for a position. I truly think that I didn’t get the job because my guardian angel was watching over me. I remember sitting there during the interview, just looking out across the city – it was a breathtaking view (albeit a little scary). It was also the last time I saw a friend that I had grown up with. He worked at Cantor, and I ran into him while I was there.
Thank you for sharing.
Maman Aya – I read your piece this morning and I thought it was very well written. I liked how you spoke about being your mother’s daughter and her fear for you. When I called my parents that morning, my dad initially laughed and told me to relax that it was a small propeller plane and all would be okay. I hung up on him because I was so mad! I might be the only person in the world with that experience! I never got to speak to my mom in the morning bc we were evacuated not long after my conversation. After that, my dad became very worried bc he thought I walked down to the WTC to find my husband’s sister. I didn’t get to speak with my parents for another 4 hours. It’s crazy how many people I know that had interviews at Cantor or that worked there before and then changed jobs. So many close calls. Thank you for sharing your story too. I look forward to reading more of your posts in the future!!!!
Thanks Jen, I take that as quite a compliment since I have enjoyed your writing style and all of your posts. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason (even if you don’t see it in the moment) and that was the reason I didn’t get the position at Cantor.
What a traumatic experience. The post was very well written and heartfelt.
I was in a suburb an hour out of Manhattan. I had just dropped the kids off at school when someone said something to me. When I got home, I turned on the TV and didn’t move from there.
My husband was in Rockefeller Plaza and was evacuated. Luckier was the fact that a few weeks earlier he had made the decision not to attend the Waters Risk Conference at windows of the world ( http://www.unpublishedarticles.com/stories/windowsontheworld.html ), a conference that no one survived. I still have the invitation.
Thanks for sharing.
Susie – that is an unbelievable story. I am glad that your husband didn’t go that day. Life is just a big mystery sometimes. Fate or luck -ya know?
I don’t think anyone will ever forget where they were when they first heard about those areoplanes. It shocked us here, on the other side of the world, I can only imagine how horrific it was for everyone in New York (etc) that day. Thanks for sharing your story.
Thanks for sharing your story Jennifer. I was traveling on a “N” train from 42nd St to DeKalb Ave in Brooklyn on my way to an off-site office that morning. When the train got on the bridge to cross from Manhattan to Brooklyn, I could see the smoke billowing from the first tower. Everyone jumped out of their seats and they were plastered to the windows on the south side of the train. It just seemed SO hard to believe. Once I got off the subway in Brooklyn, there were already SWAT teams directing people off the train and out of the subway station – no one was allowed back in. I ran three blocks to my office and out of breath tried to tell an office mate what I had just seen. We ran to turn the TV on in the break room and there saw the plane hit the second tower. I was speechless…with tears running down my face.
You are so right…the following weeks were so awful and depressing. I remember lamp posts being covered with pictures and signs of people who were missing. Even weeks after, many had held out hope that perhaps their loved one would be found. I can’t even begin to imagine the suffering of all those who lost loved ones. For them I prayed this weekend.
Thank you for this thoughtful and profound recollection, Jennifer.
I just shared this next part on a comment for Maman Aya’s post on 9/11, but I will reiterate here my morning on that terrible day:
I live out near Seattle but am from PA and have family in NJ/NY, PA and Maryland. I was driving to work in downtown Seattle when I heard of the attacks on the radio. My 1st call was to my Dad in PA to see if he heard from my family in DC and NYC. We had no idea what was going on or the extent. I worked in a high rise in Seattle, and they let us all go just in case. Even being on the West Coast, it was terrifying driving out of the city, over major bridges to get home. No one knew who, what, why or where this was all going on.
10 years later, I am still processing how this has changed the world. I think about how I will try and make sense of this to my kids someday, when it still doesn’t make sense to me. But posts like yours help put the day and the feelings into words that help us all remember and perhaps heal through mutual understanding and support.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. It was such a horrendous day, one that most will never forget.
I can relate to so much of your story. I worked in the Trinity Bldg (next to the cemetery) for a firm that traded on the amex.
It was a gorgeous morning, the weather was perfect. I took the Path from Hoboken into WTC and was contemplating heading back over for a bagel at Cosi when the first plane hit.
Eventually I moved to Philly in an effort to try and leave the nightmares behind.
xoxo to you and yours on what is a tough anniversary..
What a terrible day!
14 years after I was almost in tears reading your account of this day. Jennifer. It must have been terrible to be so close, to see how crazy humanity can be. For us, accross the ocean, we first thought it was another one of this american action movie. And then it was on all channels. We could not stop from watching, thinking about people, families, about how mad this all seemed.
It changed the world in hundred ways.