I just took my son to the movies for the first time. He is 5 ½, and I hadn’t taken him to the theater yet because he is very sensitive to visual media. Well, he is sensitive in general. He just seems to hear, see, smell and feel things more intensely than other kids. I wanted to take him to the movies when he seemed eager, when we could really talk about what the theater would feel like, and when we had the right movie to see.
My son watches really tame stuff at home, and most “kid” movies these days are pretty intense. You combine this with his natural skittishness about all things action-play-fighting-related (see my post titled “Boys Will Be Boys?”), and it just didn’t make sense to push the big movie theater experience too soon.
This summer, I finally thought it was all coming together with the release of Cars 2. My son LOVES the first Cars movie. Check out his Lightning McQueen collection.
For those of you who haven’t seen Cars, it’s about a race car that learns about the importance of friendship and how winning isn’t everything in life. The “bad guy” is a rude car who cheats in races. All the big action in this film revolves around car racing. No one dies, and the winner in the end isn’t the car who won the big race, but instead, the car who helped a friend.
When Cars 2 came out, I knew this was it! We set the date. Then my husband came home and asked, “Did you actually hear what this movie is about?”
**Spoiler alert…because I am about to talk about the plot.**
In Cars 2, the bad guys are truly bad guys. Cars die. Cars are hurt on purpose. The word “kill” is said many times. When I started to read up on this, I felt deflated (shame on me…I know better than to talk up something to my son before researching it myself, but I just assumed it would be a continuation of the first story).
After mulling it over, I decided to talk to my son about it. I explained how this was a different type of movie from Cars. I explained it was an action movie with spies and bad guys, and I told him I would explain the plot in detail if he wanted. So we read the summary that I found on the internet from start to finish, with car death details and all, and we watched the trailers. He didn’t fully grasp the whole plot (rightfully so).
The true mastermind behind the bad guys’ shenanigans is trying to sabotage his own company’ green gas initiative to save big oil. A relevant storyline to discuss these days but a bit much for a 5 year old. Despite some trepidation, my son wanted to go for it.
I took him to our local “Mommy Movie.” Where I live, certain theaters will open up for morning viewings of any of their current movies for families. You can wheel in your strollers, chase your toddlers around, and talk with your kids during the movie without bothering childless patrons.
My son loved it! We sat in the very last row so he could jump behind the seat whenever he felt scared, and then we could talk about everything that was happening.
I didn’t know how he would embrace all the spy action, but he thought that was the best part. Afterwards at the playground, he wanted to make believe we were the characters from Cars, a game we have spent countless hours playing where he has ALWAYS been Lightning McQueen.
I said, “Ok, McQueen. Let’s race.” To which he replied, “No Mom. I’m Finn McMissile.” I almost passed out. Prior to this day, my son would NEVER have chosen to be a weapon-toting super spy over the world’s fastest race car, but this movie captured his imagination.
Now he is all about Finn McMissile (the title photo with this post shows the first McMissile toy in a collection that I am guessing will eventually surpass his McQueens in number). But he still embraces safety and reality-based play over anything too fanciful. Instead of chasing bad guys, he likes his McMissile to help repair bridges or fix electronics in the spy station.
While I am glad we waited so long for the big screen experience, this reminded me that pushing my guy out of his comfort zone with the right support and preparation can open up a whole new world of imaginative fun. And truth be told, I liked the movie, too!
Have you ever nudged your child out of their comfort zone with positive results? How did you make the decision about when it was the right time?
This has been an original post to World Moms Blog by Tara B. of Washington (State), USA.
Photo credits to the author.
I need to work on pushing T past his comfort zone.
I did take him to the movie theater. He couldn’t sit still for the entire movie (he was 4). But then my dad took him to the movies and had no problem. I think we’ll take another year before trying again. T needs to be able to watch movies, at this point in his life, when he can pause them and go play in his room for a little bit every once in a while. It takes us hours to finish just one movie.
Thanks for your comments, Roxanne! It’s definitely hard for young kids to sit through a movie. We usually do the same thing as you….watch DVD’s in segments at home. It also helps with my older son to watch at home because we can skip through parts that are too intense. But he is now getting to the point where he is more curious than nervous about stuff and wants to see the action. And I actually had my toddler with me on this outing because I didn’t have anyone else to watch him at the time of the mommy movie. But it worked out great as the little one could run all around. So I chased him, fed him snacks and played while helping my older son process what he was seeing. Both boys had fun. It’s just so tricky to judge the timing of taking that next step. But as my older son and I discussed, we’d give it a shot and if it was too much, we’d leave. So no pressure.
Tara — in Virginia, I used to take my daughter to the Mommy and Me movie with my friends. I loved it!! I haven’t found one here, yet. So, that’s so awesome that you have that!!!
I like your reaction when he chose to be Finn McMissile! lol!!
I like these experiences where we learn new things about our kids and ourselves!
Jen 🙂
Thanks Jennifer! The Mommy and Me movie was definitely key to this experience. There were lots of kids in there. One boy fell asleep lying in the aisle! And the following week, I took my son to see Winnie-the-Pooh (a household favorite). He and I went together to the regular old movie theater for that one. It was no sweat for him, after having made it through the action-packed Cars 2.
We have some super senstive boys too, our middle son in particular sounds very similar in nature to your’s Tara. I used the support-nudge approach with swimming for him when he was four. He had some time at lessons with me in the water and was clearly able to carry on without me, but didn’t trust that he could manage for himself. I knew that he would be focussed on me if I went and sat on the sideline and not on the swimming, so got my Mum to take him for a term. As it (luckily) was around the same time I had our third son, he justified it to himself that I had to be home with the baby. It worked really well and now he is confident and competent in the water.
That’s such a great success story! Well done 😉 Sometimes is does take another person stepping in to help. My husband seems to be the one to get my older son to try anything new…especially food. And swimming was a “thing” for my son as well. It took some time to find the right pool and lessons program to get him comfortable. Now, he loves the water and will be the first to jump in! I find that little steps and consistent exposure yields positive results. As always, I appreciate your comments and insights, Karyn.
First off, thank you for the spoiler alert. I was going to make sure we get tue movie on in demand when it came out because, like you, I thought it would be as benign and sweet as the first. I may have to rethink that now. My son is similar to yours in that he takes some time to jump into new things. Although when he received Toy Story 2 as a gift he, started acting out the fighting scenes pretty quickly. He is a boy afterall. 🙂
You are welcome on the spoilers. Truthfully, it was cartoony violence, but it’s violence none the less, and some kids are more sensitive to it than others, and some families have different guidelines with watching it, so it’s just good to know beforehand. My son did ok with it because we talked it through so much beforhand. But he still had nightmares a few nights afterwards….not nightmares focused on this movie, but I think when he sees amped up stuff like this and it just switches something on in his brain that takes time to ease up. Truthfully, i am the exact same way, so I have been able to work through this stuff with him. I don’t want to make it seem like I force him to watch stuff that is upsetting him. I take cues from him and we don’t move forward with anything he is uncomfortable with. But he does need help in taking the step to explore this stuff. Good luck with your upcoming movies choices, and thanks for your comments!
I think it is often our job to push them out of their comfort zones. I think they expect us to as well.
Btw-this is a great site to see movie reviews-geared for parents looking for reviews about movies before kids see them.
http://parentpreviews.com/
Thanks for your comments, Susie. I do think kids look to us to see if exploring something new is safe and ok. As for the website, I will definitely check it out. A friend recommended another one to me like this, but I have misplaced it. I’ll be sure to do my research first next time 😉
We went to see that too, and I had no idea what it was about. I was surprised, but my son didn’t sit still long enough to watch it. My husband and I were both there and he finally took our son out because he wasn’t really interested. He’s only 3, so I’m sort of glad he didn’t watch the whole thing!
I’m glad your son liked it, and that’s great that he took a “bad guy” and does good with him.
Disney can surprise you like that…some things benign, some things heavy. I hope your little guy had fun in the theater even if he didn’t watch the movie. My kids loved the popcorn and seats regardless of what was happening on screen. And when we do movies at home, my son wants all the lights off to create his own theater. Thanks for reading and commenting!
Tara, for many of the same reasons that you stated, I couldn’t WAIT to take our daughter (also 5 1/2) to see Cars 2. Cars was the major animated film that came out the year they were born and has been a beloved staple in our house ever since I first let her watch it. The fact that she has a younger brother who also loves anything with wheels made it seem like the best of all First-Big-Screen options. I was DEEPLY disappointed. If you swap out actors for the cars, you’ have a movie that would even challenge hard-core James Bond fans. I did not leave the movie with the positive outcome you had and felt it was FAR too long for our younger child. Luckily, Winnie-the-Pooh came out a few weeks later and he and I went to see that together. I think that was just the right level for him.
Oh no! I am sorry to hear it was a negative experience. But you are right in that the timing of the release of the new Winnie the Pooh was perfect.That movie is so, so well done and true to the vibe of the books and original style of the 1960’s animated Pooh movie (one we own and watch frequently). We have seen many of the other Pooh movies released in between that first movie and this latest, and we have even had mixed results there. The Search of Christoper Robin and the Tigger Movie have such intense stuff too. Why does someone always have to almost die? It’s the Hundred Acre Wood for crying out loud! So I was really glad to see Disney went back to basics with this latest Pooh story. And the soundtrack is awesome! Thanks for your comments!