1. Do not shave your legs until absolutely necessary. You will feel pressure from you friends to do it but be strong. Many of them probably have hairier legs than you do and are quick and fast. Do not be loose and fancy free like these shaving lunatics. The longer you can go without putting razor to skin the better. You will thank me when you’re 30 and trying to find pants on a hot summers day because you don’t have time to drag a blade over your dry skin.
Mullet Hairstyle
2. There are certain things you should not do to your hair no matter what the fashion trend; perms, undercut, rat tails, and the mullet. Unless you are the lead in a multi million dollar film and you are going to be paying for my retirement, of course.
3. There will always be that ONE guy that all the girls swoon over. Don’t be one of them, and he will swoon over you!
4. You will get acne. Your life will be so totally OMG ruined. We’ll put cover up on it and move on with our day because guess what? Girls in magazines are photo shopped and they all have dimples on their butts.
5. People are going to gossip about you and you’re going to get hurt. You must be pretty awesome for them to talk about you. Be strong, be yourself, and smile through adversity! Telling them to grow up doesn’t hurt either.
6. Don’t ever do ANYTHING in your parents house while they are home that you wouldn’t do in front of their face. I caution you, child… I will know, and I will embarrass you.
7. When you go to a wedding pack an extra pair of comfortable shoes, your feet will appreciate this after you’ve had a few too many vodka Pom’s and you’re leading the conga line.
8. Drinking alcohol can be pretty cool, when you are of age. Drinking to the point of standing on a table, top off, and urine soaking through your jeans is never cool. Practice moderation, my dear.
9. Boys are going to want to kiss you. Do not allow this behaviour. It leads to unnecessary things (read: number 6) When a boy attempts to kiss you kick him in the shins.
10. There’s nothing wrong with a little hard work. Houses cost money. Paper routes bring in money. Pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ out?
What would you include in your “survival guide” to your child? Let’s hear it!Â
This is an original post to World Moms Blog by Multitasking Mumma of Canada.  You can find her on her blog, Multitasking Mumma, or on Facebook and Twitter.
Photo credit to Remote Sky. This photo has a creative commons attribution no derivatives license. Â
Make exercise part of your life routine. It will give you strength and stamina and when it is a routine, it is so much easier.
Oh Gosh I wish I could do this!
But I am trying to instill healthy eating in my child life.
lol!!! I loved reading this post!!!
LOVE this friend! Love! XO
Thank you for loving it, and for reading it Galit xo
Dying.
I will teach Abbey the shin-kicking rule stat. My husband will blow you kisses when she hits her pre-teen years! 🙂
haha, you can send cheques of thanks directly to my paypal account
Brilliant post, Leighann!! If I ever have a daughter, I’d print this out and give it to her as soon as she can read.
awww, how sweet!!
Hope you have a girl! xox
Just because your fiends all tell you something is so, that doesn’t make it so. Make up your own mind!
Oops…..fiends = friends. Little typo but makes a big difference!
I agree with this one 100%
Hilarious. Can’t wait to hear what your response will be when she asks if you did any of those things. 😉
well of course it will be.. “only kicking boys in the shins” LOL
I love #6!!! These are great, Multitasking Mumma!! 🙂
Jen 🙂
Thanks Jen!
This is hilarious. Yes! Kick him in the shin!
Thank you Roxanne!!
Glad you came and read!
Never be the “mean girl” in school – Be inclusive of everyone, no matter what everyone arounds you does. You will take pride in knowing that you always tried to “pick people up” instead of “putting them down.” Be proud of you … it makes all the difference.
Love this!! My brain was jello today, and I couldn’t come up with any good ones!!
Oh this one is so great!!
If only we could all think like this
Picking up what I’m putting out? BRILLIANT. hehehe I love it.
Oh this is brilliant list. LOVE it! I have one boy but some of the stuffs listed can totally be applied to them boys too.
I am totally going to print this out and tape it to the wall, so in 5 or 6 years when she is old enough my daughter can read it (and meanwhile in 1 or 2 years when my son learns to read he can get the point too)! I would add:
Don’t marry for any other reason than love. Money and looks can go with time, but love only improves with age.
LOL having just conceded on the rat’s tail haircut for our nine-year old…he has shin-pads for hockey so should be fine if he wants to kiss your daughter! 🙂
great list, well done!!!!
Expertly written, both funny and sage wisdom. I’ve printed out a copy for my daughter’s baby book (she’s now 5 but by the time she’s interested in reviewing her baby-ish ways, this will be relevant too!)
I’d add: don’t persuade friends/people to do things they don’t want to do unless you’re really sure it will be a move for the betterment of him/herself or humanity (tobacco, drugs, alcohol do NOT make the list!)
I LOVE it!!!!!