This evening, after 13 whole days of Kindergarten, my daughter came home and, in her drunken-stupor-like exhaustion, asked my husband when we’re moving. This might rattle some parents but in our house it’s a perfectly logical question…we’ve moved a lot.
Our moves might not rival fellow World Moms Blogger, Dee Harlow’s, who moves every two years, but in the five-and-a-half years since our daughter joined this life journey, we’ve moved enough to precipitate such questioning.
Our daughter was born in Washington, DC; two months later, we packed up and hit the road. For three months we stayed in no fewer than nine different places before settling in to graduate housing at my husband’s Massachusetts business school. Our daughter’s first bedroom was her Pack N’ Play; she didn’t get a real crib until she was almost a year old. When she turned two, my husband graduated and we moved again. This time into a rental in the center of the town we now live in. Six months later, just before her brother was born, we bought a house and moved in.
Our daughter moved three times before she turned three and lived in a panoply of temporary houses, including eight weeks in a Beijing sub-let while my husband was studying in China. Her brother, now two-and-a-half, has never moved.
Perhaps another impetus in her desire to relocate is that both of her best friends, Olivia and Ellie, have moved FAR away. The first to Montana two years ago and the second to California two weeks ago; perhaps she feels her time has come.
Or perhaps her zeal to move is connected with all of the other changes she’s dealing with; life changes; big, INDEPENDENT, life changes.
She can do a lot of things on her own now. For starters, over the summer she learned to ride a two-wheel bike, skipping right over training wheels. She also learned to swim. In August, we went on a fishing trip and she landed a fish all by herself. It was the biggest fish that week. Now that school is back in session, she realizes that she’s left behind her familiar preschools and entered the wider world of elementary school education. A world where teachers expect a lot more from their students.
Psychologically, I bet, there’s more to her inquiry than I’m able to decipher but I’m no psychologist and I only have five-and-a-half years experience with kids so my analytical skills are somewhat unrefined.
What I can interpret is that people tend to raise their children as themselves, in their own images, exposing their kids to the parents’ passions, lifestyles and interests. For my kids, this means living a life frequently on the go. I guess I’m like this because—between boarding schools, divorced parents and summers away—I spent a lot of my own childhood on the go. As an adult, I get restless when I’m stationary for too long. I look forward to taking trips like some people look forward to having a glass of wine at the end of a long day. To me, traveling, moving around, starting out someplace new is exciting.
For me, home is merely a place to store our stuff, the way a tent houses necessities when you’re camping.
Clearly, my daughter is camping in the same tent. She loves being active, exploring and going on adventures. Kindergarten has been enormously exciting for her but now we’re on week three…I guess she thinks it’s time to move on.
This is an original post for World Moms Blog from mother of two, Kyla P’an. Kyla also can be found writing about motherhood and other maternal mishaps on her personal blog, Growing Muses.
The photograph used in this post is attributed to popofatticus and has a Creative Commons attribution license.
Great post. We just moved our 3 kids away from their entire extended family (from pa to mi) and spent the summer staying in 6 different places, now we are in an apt until we move into our house in November. My 5 year old did a short distance move from one home to my panrents house to another home 40 minutes away when he was 2. I love your approach…we are all really struggling and it’s great to hear others take a more positive spin. Thanks!
wow, your situation with three kids is sure a lot more to manage than ours was with just one infant but we all do what we must to survive what life hands us. I’m sure there will be many times that your kids will look back on this transition as an exciting one in their lives full of changes but also full of closeness. Good luck, Jd!
Kyla,
What an adorable post — congrats to her on “no training wheels!” We moved when my daughter was 6 mos. old, then were in temporary housing for a year before we moved permanently. She’s four now. She doesn’t remember living in the other places.
I lived in the same house my entire life growing up before I went to college. It has it’s positives and it’s negatives. I didn’t get to explore life living outside my own hometown, but I made some really great lifelong friends that I’ve known since I was really small and I still keep in touch with.
I look forward to finding out where you wind up moving to, if you do get the itch!! 🙂
Jen 🙂
You and me both Jen!! I was certain we’d be overseas by the time our daughter was 5. I guess, if you count the two months when she was one-and-a-half, it counts a little. Now that she’s settling in to our neighborhood elementary and many of her friends are just a walk or bike ride away, I am beginning to lose some of that itch. I still think I’ll embrace whatever change life throws our way but for the time being, I’m going to try and embrace the stability we’ve got going too.
This is an interesting post. My son has moved 4 times in his life. I can relate to that itch. Great that you get to offer this experience with your daughter 🙂
Thanks Tatter Scoops. I’m sure your son will end up as worldly and rounded as you too!
I’m so glad that she shares your love of travel and adventure! Imagine if you had to try to raise a “homebody”! She’s SO independent…and so cute! Great post! I hope that you’re not going anywhere…right?????
thanks, Wonky. So it appears I’m raising one adventurer and one homebody…what now?! No plans to go anywhere in the near future but tomorrow’s another day.
I’ve moved a lot in my life and have always wanted to stay in one house when I had kids. So far, that has not been our reality. There are pros and cons to moving and staying in one place. I try to focus on the positives!
Here, here Maggie! Focusing on the positive is a great trait to pass on and a terrific way to embrace life. Hope all is well in your new digs.
As your husband, the quote “For me, home is merely a place to store our stuff, the way a tent houses necessities when you’re camping,” clearly capture your lifestyle… [For those who may be interested in further evidence…we were all EXHAUSTED by the end of this past summer… http://goo.gl/rCWnd.%5D
Up until now, the only time of the year we are almost certain to be home (read: winter) is when we are held captive by several feet of Bostonian snow – when snowshoeing around the local woods can only last so long (and any outdoor activity involves 30+ mins of prep time to get the kids all bundled up and out the door, just to go x-country skiing 3 miles from home).
Something tells me that when the famed (or infamous) School Year Calendar arrived by mail in late-July, our somewhat nomadic lives have found stability – relative to prior years in our kids’ lives.
What I find comforting, more than the “stability”, is knowing that both of us (and at least one of our kiddos) is ready for whatever forks lie ahead in life’s ongoing roadmap.
…Now, if only we could make a mortgage as portable as a tent…
thanks lovey. I’m glad you embrace my cooky ways instead of loath them. I wasn’t exhausted by the end of summer, in fact, I thought it went so well that I was completely happy and ready for fall to start…wish that nice cool weather would come back.
Love the post. Since 2008 our family has not been properly settled and its not fun lol. We have lived in 3 cities in that period. My son and I were counting and since her was 3 he has been in 6 different schools! There is one more move on the horizon then (God willing) we are done!
Gosh Mama B. That must be tough, sounds like a post in the making (or one I’d like to read). Six different schools would temper any kid. He’s like a military brat (said with the fondest meaning). I’ll keep you in my thoughts for your next move to be your final one (at least for a while).
I moved alot during the ages of 17 and 34 and really enjoyed it, but I now hanker to stop somewhere and put down roots. Exhaustion?!!
well lucky you (and your kids) you’ve done just that!